Inside of Y/N's house the sound of an alarm rang out disturbing Y/N from his peaceful slumber. He slammed his fist on the alarm silencing it while he groaned and held his head suffering from his hangover.

Y/N: Urghhhhh fuck my heads killing me.

Carnage: Morning Y/N.

Y/N: Morning carnage.

Carnage: How are ya feeling? You drank a shit ton of booze last night I'm suprised that your liver didn't collapse.

Y/N: Yeah what happened last night anyway? I can't renemember a damn thing.

Carnage: Well you drank 2 bottles of vodka you couldn't even walk and loona had to drive you back home Oh and speaking of loona you got so drunk you seduced her and bought her to your home and fucked her like a wild animal.

Y/N: Woah woah hold up me and loona had sex?!

Y/N felt something brush by his legs and Y/N removes the blanket to see loona sleeping on his chest completely naked. The hellhound rubbed her eyes and sat up and yawned.

Loona: Mmmmmm is it time to get up already?

Y/N: L-loona?

Loona: Morning Y/N how are you feeling after our fun last night?

Y/N: I-im alright I suppose but did you and me have-

Loona: Sex? Yep and it was the best night of my life it got rid of all the stress that I got from dealing with blitzo.

Y/N: Well I'm uhhhhh glad I helped but did we at least use protection?

Loona: Don't worry you put a condom on so no you didn't knock me up.

Y/N: Phew thank god imagine trying to explain to blitzo that I got you pregnant.

Loona: (giggles) He'd lose his shit oh and Y/N one more thing-

Loona grabbed Y/N's head and pulled him into a kiss. Y/N was shocked but quickly fell into it and sat loona on his lap while the two continued to make out. After a minute the two separate from the kiss due to need of oxygen.

Loona: You have no idea how long I've waited to do that.

Y/N: That kiss was amazing loona so guess you and me are a thing now?

Loona: Hehe come on you ask me that after we kissed and had sex?

Y/N: Hahah yeah that was a stupid question wasn't it?

Loona: I love you Y/N.

Y/N: I love you too loona.

Carnage: (it's about fucking time Y/N....about fucking time)

Timeskip

The two lovers finnaly reached thier workplace and walked in to find a massive hole in the wall with moxxie stuck underneath the rubble. Eddie was helping millie in freeing her husband and blitzo was talking to someone that looked like a cartoon villain.

Y/N: What the fuck did we just walk into?

Blitzo: Loona Y/N there you are where were you last night I was worried for you loonie.

Loona: I was at Y/N's house figured I could hang out at his place didn't want to walk around the town at night all alone.

Blitzo: Wait you slept at Y/N's house? (Glares at Y/N) You two didn't do any fucking did you?

Y/N: No of course not blitz I would never screw your daughter I ain't that type of guy.

Loona rolls her eyes affectionately while blitzo breaths a sigh relief.

Blitzo: Oh thank god I'm not ready to be a granpa yet anyway so Y/N about your freind over there.

Y/N: Eddie? Yeah I told him to come to you for a job but do you know he-

Blitzo: Has one of those things stuck up his ass? Yep the moment I saw it I shook his hand the more murderous aliens the better!

Y/N: Just keep venom away from carnage the two really hate eachother.

Carnage: Hate is an understatement.

Moxxie: (strained) Evreything is going dark!

Y/N: Anyway what's going on in here and who's this guy? (points to loopty)

Blitzo: This is loopty our newest client he wants us to off some old geezer who he used to work with.

Blitzo shows Y/N the picture of an fat old man with his name "lyle lipton" scribbled under the picture.

Y/N: Seems simple enough hell guy looks like he could drop dead at any moment.

Loopty: Splendid! if all is agreed then get out there and put that fool ten feet under!

Moxxie: L-loosing........oxygen.

Eddie: Y/N a little help over here.

Y/N: Shit hang on moxxie!

Le timeskip

The scene changes to the inside of a tourbus driving past a large mansion with blitzo and the gang sitting in the bus while wearing wigs.

Moxxie: (sarcastically) Geezs I wonder who's house this is?

Tour guide: and to your right is the house of the famous inventor lyle lipton!

Crowd: Ohhhhhhh.

Y/N: Huh well that's convenient.

Venom: Geez compensating much?

Blitzo: Alright gang let's do this.

The gang takes out thier weapons and rush towards one of the mansions windows while evreyone in the tour bus just watched and took pictures.

Tour guide: And here you'll find five tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this happy to famous people all the time!

The gang peer through the window to see lyle in his bed caressing a picture of
Dollar bills.

Moxxie: Wow......that machine really did a number on him.

Eddie: How's that guy still alive?

Blitzo: Oh he won't be for long if we got anything to say about it.

Lyle: Goodbye.....my one true love.

Lyle kisses the photo and started to make a noose with his IV tube.

Lyle: All the riches in the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty body can do anything of value.

Blitzo: Oh fantastic he's gonna do our job for us!

Carnage: Easy money.

The crew watches as lyle gets ready to end it all while eating some popcorn but suddenly a bright light pushes the imps back while Eddie and Y/N hold thier ground. Once lyle could open his eyes he saw a trio of cherubs floating down with grace in a ray of light.

Lyle: Oh lord I'm being haunted by ugly orphan children now!

Venom: So much for easy money huh carnage?

Carnage: SHUT IT!

Blitzo: Who the fuck are they!?

Moxxie: Oh no sir those are-

Cletus: Cherubs Mr lyle!

Lyle: I hate filthy stinking orphan children!

Collin: We're here to convince to not kill yourself sir. To grant you a blessing on behalf of those in heaven benefited by your amazing technological advances.

Blitzo: OH HELL NO!

Blitzo smashes the glass window and marches in.

Blitzo: Don't forget-

Blitzo misjudges the height of the window and falls and face plants onto the floor while evreyone else uses the door.

Moxxie: Lyle lipton-

Y/N:

Evreyone looks at Y/N stunned by his sudden outburst which shattered what was left of lyle's self esteem. The cherubs shared looks of shock horror and disgust and Y/N looked back to his freinds while brushing his shoulders.

Y/N:.............what?

Blitzo: Fucking hell Y/N that was just.......savage.

Carnage: I don't see the problem he's trying to help and get the old geezer to kill himself.

Cletus: How could you say something so horrible to another fellow human being?! His life has value as does the life of evreyone else on this planet!

Millie: But I mean what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old and gross?

Keenie: Is that a serious question? He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world and do so much good with it and be so fulfilled!

Keenie flies away and throws lyle's cash around the room.

Lyle: Nooooo!

Collin: he could pay for new hospitals and schools.

Lyle: Why won't you let me die?

Eddie: Yeah just let the guy be at peace.

Cletus: We won't its our job.

Y/N: Yeah and you assholes are getting in the way of ours!

Blitzo appears next to lyle.

Blitzo: Oh sounds like you need help offing yourself there buddy! Moxxie what do we got for this fella?

Moxxie tosses a vast array of weapons to lyle and blitzo.

Moxxie: I have some assault weapons crossbow hunting bow tommy gun old fashioned shotgun revolver in three colours chainsaw katana-

Collin: He's classier then that!

Collin snatches a rifle from lyle who was going to use it to blow his brains out.

Collin: There are still plenty of reasons to live Mr lyle!

Millie: yeah right! Smells like he hasn't been out of bed in months.

Millie smells lyle and holds her mouth and vomits while moxxie holds her shoulder in support.

Cletus: Life can be beautiful at any age!

Keenie: And we'll show him!

Collin: YEAH!

Keenie: YEAH!

Cletus: YEAH!

Blitzo: NO!

Millie: NO!

Moxxie: NO!

Y/N: NO!

Carnage: NO!

Venom: NO!

Eddie: Oh boy this just got complicated.

Small timeskip

The cherubs take lyle to a hill overlooking a forest and a lake.

Cletus: Look around lyle God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold regardless of age or wealth!

Collin: If you were to kill yourself you'd be missing all of this!

Blitzo appears next to lyle wearing a tiger costume.

Blitzo: mhmmm you gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?

Blitzo makes a fucking gesture with his fingers disgusting the cherubs.

Keenie: (gasp) That's so inappropriate!

Millie and moxxie walk to blitzo wearing thier own costumes while mille flipped off keenie.

Millie: Oh kiss our ass prude!

Blitzo sits next to lyle.

Blitzo: Anyway take it from me a fellow genius nature is no picnic up close.

Blitzo hands lyle some binoculars which he peers through the see a bunch of squirrels and bunnies. Then carnage jumps from the bushes with venom right behind him and proceed to tear the cute animals apart. This was the first time the crew had a good look on venom's appearance he was much more bulkier then carnage his skin was pitch black his tounge was sticking out of his mouth which had razor sharp teeth that quickly became soaked by the blood of the animals.

Lyle: Oh no what horrifying monsters!

Collin tries to take the binoculars from lyle but he jumps from fear when he sees the two symbiotes going on thier rampage.

Lyle: I can't stop I never wanted to kill myself more then I do now!

The two symbiotes jumps a group of campers and tear them apart and eat them alive making sure to make the process as slow and as painful as possible. Carnage grabs a deer by the throat and cuts its stomach and slurps its intestines like spaghetti while venom grabs a bear cub and bites its head off picking his teeth to remove the pieces of brain stuck between his gums. The cherubs were absolutely mortified blitzo was smirking while moxxie was vomiting while millie comforted him.

Cletus: l-lets go check out someplace else!

The cherubs rush lyle away from the massacre and the crew fistbump eachother. The scene changes to inside the mall and the cherubs push lyle through the wall while he was still in his bed.

Lyle: Oh where are we now? let me perish.

Keenie: We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for.....childhood wonderment.

Keenie shows lyle a crowd of kids cheering with a person who was dressed up as santa clause.

Lyle: Why look at those sweet diseased ridden vermin. Thier joy comes from innocence unspoiled by the burden of adulthood.......and thier middle class existence. Such simple joy they have its inspiring. Thank you for showing me this.

Blitzo: (off screen) Hey dipshit!

Evreyone turns to blitzo who was next to santa with the rest of team who were dressed up in elf costumes.

Blitzo: Wanna see who's lap your sitting on?

Blitzo rips off the robes and santa is revealed as a creepy old man who was wearing a "cuties" t-shirt. The children scream and run away making lyle cry the cherubs get him away and carnage comes from behind and bites the creepy man's head off.

Now the cherubs took lyle to a place called "lovers lookout".

Lyle: Urgh this place reeks of teenagers!

Cletus: Lovers lookout sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all!

Lyle: Money!

Y/N: YES SWEET CAPITALISM!

Collin: No! Love!

Lyle: I've never been in love before I imagine its quite nice.

Collin: It's not too late sir you can still find-

Blitzo and the others arrive and were wearing wigs.

Blitzo: Ha nice try ugly! (Pulls out megaphone) Hey horny lovers which one of you would fuck this old man!?

All of the cars immediately speed off leaving lyle who felt heartbroken.

Collin: (faces blitzo) you know you five are so utterly c-c-cruel! we're just trying to give hope to someone in need!

Moxxie: Oh and you three are superior to us just because we want some selfish greedy authoritarian capitalist to keel over DEAD!

Eddie: Okay moxxie your making things too real now.

Blitzo: Yeah what Eddie said cut it out.

Blitzo sprays moxxie with a bottle of piss making him hiss.

The scene changes to a auditorium where a women could be seen singing in a viking outfit while sitting on a fake unicorn and the cherubs and lyle watch from the crowd.

Cletus: Behold the wonder of art and music! Something always here to comfort......entertain......and to live for!

Above the stage blitzo and the others peeked down thinking of how they could ruin lyle's day even more.

Millie: So......how do we make this bad?

Moxxie: we can't there's literally nothing bad about opera that's facts.

Blitzo: Unless we ruin it somehow.

The light focused on the lady suddenly moves the lady tries to get back into the spotlight while Y/N approached lyle and the cherubs.

Lyle: She's not that good is she?

Y/N: I know right? So much about being professional.

Collin: You what are you doing here devil!?

Y/N: Devil me? I don't know what your talking about I'm as human as they come.

Collin: N-no your not.

Keenie: Be quiet collin we already know that! Damn your stupid.

Y/N: Hey Collin quick question do these two fuckwads treat you like this all the time?

Cletus: Don't you dare tell him anything you piece of-

Carnage: He's talking to him not you.

Carnage sprouts from Y/N back and confronts the two carnage gives them a low guttural growl which shuts them up.

Collin: W-w-well.......yeah.

Y/N: Then why do you stick around these guys if they treat you like shit?

Collin: I-its what god wants of me it's my duty in heaven to-

Y/N: So even after all the work you do your boss in heaven let's you be insulted and mistreated?

Collin: U-u-uhhhhhhhh-

Y/N: Hey I understand how you feel before I died and went to hell I had a shitty job aswell boss and coworkers treated me like a packmule extra unpaid hours all that work just for someone else to take all the credit.

Collin: Just like........they do with me.

Y/N: Exactly and now look at me working for blitzo in hell made a ton of freind even got a loving girlfriend so why don't you do yourself a favour and ditch theses clowns and join us at I.M.P? You may think it's a bad idea but trust me when i say this.......its the best choice I've ever made both in hell and on earth.

Collin: I...........i-i-

The light falls down and crushes the viking lady the audience screams in horror and Y/N rushes over to help his team and it didn't take long for the cherubs to confront the team although collin backed away conflicted by what Y/N said.

Cletus: That's it I've had it! You monsters have messed with us enough!

Collin: W-We were just trying to do our job.

Millie: Well so are we!

Cletus: ENOUGH!

The cherubs summon golden crossbows and aim them at the imps and Eddie transforms into venom but Y/N told carnage not to take over.

Cletus: We are saving this shitty old man's life whether he wants it or not!

Blitzo: Well someone wants that fucker dead okay?! And he paid in advanced and I spent it all on this-

Blitzo points to a cap which had a horse with jewels and sunglasses.

Blitzo: So he's gotta go!

Venom: FOR FUCK SAKE LET'S JUST KILL THEM ALREADY!

Keenie: you are all such disgusting loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but what shitty dead people tread on! And now your trying to meddle in the lives of humans?!

Y/N: Hey use your eyes I'm human too your Mary little lamb wannabe jackass!

Millie: Your messing with human lives too! So why don't you shut your judgemental Cotton candy tit-having bitch!?

Keenie: FILTHY DEMON CRAP!

Oprah music begins to play and millie and keenie go into a catfight Cletus shoots arrows towards moxxie and venom but venom tanks the shots letting moxxie run a catwalk and swings from a rope. He aims his pistol at keenie who was being bitch slapped by millie moxxie fires at a rope which releases a bag that separates millie and keenie. Moxxie catches millie and the two face eachother and start to make out. An arrow struck a member of the audience killing him while lyle began to stand up and head to the stage.

Lyle: it's all starting to make sense now life is worth living because we only get one. We must cherish it if creatures far beyond this living world are going through such lengths over my life then its certainly worth living! Killing myself is no longer the answer plus I'm still rich I can just buy all the thing I no longer crave death!

The audience cheer for lyle as the I.M.P continued to fight the cherubs. One of keenies arrows hits one of the audience members killing them and then got grabbed by venom who slammed her to the ground and then grabbed her by the head.

Keenie: Mmmmmmmph!

Venom: Eyes.....lungs.....pancreas.....so many snacks so little time.

Keenie: MMMMMMMMMMMPPPHHH!

Venom opens his jaw wide and bites off keenie's head before devouring the rest of her remains.

With Y/N he stood infront of collin who was shaking as he aimed his sights at Y/N. Y/N remained calm he made no sudden movements as to not startle the distraught boy.

Y/N: Collin put the weapon down you don't want to do this you know that and I know that.

Collin: I-i know I don't b-but it's my job!

Y/N: I can see the pain in your eyes make the