Eleanora woke up incredibly confused, the main source of which was the grass underneath her. She cracked open one eye, wincing at the bright morning sunlight. She took a moment to allow herself to properly wake up before rolling onto her back and propping herself up on her elbows, glancing around through squinted eyes.

She gathered that she was lying on the front lawn of a house and red solo cups, streamers and other rubbish were scattered on the grass. That was a good sign - there had been a party, meaning she hadn't gone to some random's house alone. Across the other side of the lawn, a blonde guy was wandering around, clearly looking for something. At her movement, he glanced over at her.

"Oh good, you're alive," he commented dryly. "You alright?"

"Uh, I think," she replied, cringing at her croaky voice. "You okay?"

"Just looking for my keys," he grimaced. 

"Ah. Weird question, but we didn't..." she trailed off questioningly and he snorted and shook his head. 

"Nah, you just talked to me a lot about bees and how the Jaws movie negatively impacted sharks. Then you heard a song you really liked - Girls Just Want To Have Fun, I'm pretty sure - and ran off to dance to it and I didn't see much of you for the rest of the night. I just found you out here this morning. Wild night?"

"Honestly, I can't remember, like... any of it, so I assume so. I'm still in LA, right?"

The guy frowned. "This is Florida."

Eleanora's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Nah, I'm totally fucking with you. Yeah, we're in LA - Monterey Park."

"You're a dick," she grumbled, getting to her feet unsteadily. "You want a hand looking?"

"Nah, that's alright, they've gotta be here somewhere. I'll have a look inside."

"Wait, so you remember last night? And we talked?"

The man nodded. "I only had a couple drinks."

"Did you happen to see a guy with me at any point? Brown hair, brown eyes... okay, that's not a lot to go off-"

"Yeah, I think I know who you mean," he cut her off. "You sang the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody together with both of you trying to do all the parts and then you waxed one of his legs. while a bunch of people watched."

Eleanora blinked. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Any chance you know where he is?"

"Yeah, I think I saw him passed out on the dining table. I'm pretty sure you'd rather not hear this, but at one point you ate cheese out of some chick's belly button for truth or dare."

"Yep, would rather have not heard that. Where... where are my shoes?" she asked, frowning down at her feet and looking around.

"Oh yeah, after you shaved his leg, you guys swapped shoes. So the real question you should be asking is where are his shoes?"

"Fuck, that's worse," she groaned.

"Lenny?" a voice called from the house as Tony himself came stumbling outside, trying to take her heels off his feet as he walked.

"Yeah, that guy," Random Man nodded.

"Please don't hate me," Eleanora winced as Tony came up to them, the heels now in hand.

He glanced over at the other man and looked back at Eleanora with a raised eyebrow. "Really, Lenny?"

"I didn't!" she objected with a scowl, knowing what he was implying.

"Oh... then why should I hate you?"

"I lost your shoes. Apparently we swapped last night but I have no idea where yours are now."

"Okay, well that explains this," he replied with a laugh, handing back her heels. "And don't sweat it, they were only a couple hundred dollars."

"Wow, that's not even sarcastic, what a rich boy thing to say."

"Hey, you're rich, too."

"Whatever."

"How did we end up here?" Tony asked, rubbing at his eyes. "And where are we?"

"Where'd you say again?" Eleanora asked, looking back at the blonde.

"Monterey Park," he supplied. "If you guys are okay, I'm going to head inside to look for my keys."

"Uh, I saw some keys hanging off the antlers of a deer head on the wall in the living room on my way out," Tony suggested.

"Thanks, man. That's probably them. I'll probably never see you guys again, so have a good life."

The man walked back inside and Eleanora glanced back over at Tony. "To answer the first part of your question, I have no idea how we ended up here. I have no recollection of last night at all."

To be honest, that fact really scared her. She loved to drink and have a good time but legitimately not being able to remember the events of the previous night sparked panic in her, and the more the thought about it, the more stressed she became.

"You alright?" Tony asked after a moment.

"Y-yeah, just... never mind."

"Don't give me that shit, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it just... kinda freaks me out a little, I guess, not knowing what happened last night."

"Why does is matter so much?" he asked. "I'd rather not remember, because I know I definitely did some dumb shit. Probably just bad memories. Ignorance is bliss."

Eleanora nodded, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

"I mean, the important thing is that you're okay... You're not hurt are you?"

The young woman checked herself over, properly considering the question. She relaxed when she only spotted a few bruises on her legs and only felt pain in her back. "Nah. Just a sore back from sleeping on the ground." 

Tony's eyes widened when she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Hold the fuck up, there's blood running down your face." 

"Huh?" Eleanora touched her face in confusion, only to feel dried blood stuck to her skin. "How did that get there?" she asked mildly.

"Christ, Lenny," he sighed, running a hand over his face. He stepped closer to inspect the wound, pushing her hair back slightly. "Yeah, there's a cut just below your hair line. I don't think it's infected or anything." 

"Give it time."

Tony just rolled his eyes. "We should probably get back to the hotel before Rhodey does or he'll freak out and think we're both dead or something. Let's go back inside and use the landline to call a taxi."

The two sat on the curb outside the house while they waited for the taxi.

"Shit, I'm out of cash," Tony swore abruptly. "Think the driver will take an IOU?"

"Don't worry, I got it," Eleanora shook her head, reached into her bra and pulled out a fifty dollar bill, feeling immensely relieved it was still there.

"You didn't wanna put it in a pocket somewhere?" he asked in amusement.

"I'm sorry, do you see a pocket on me anywhere?!" she demanded, holding her arms out.

"Yikes, sorry, sensitive subject."

Tony stretched his legs out, crossing one over the other, and froze suddenly. He then leant forward and ran his hands over his legs in confusion, causing Eleanora to bark out a laugh, remembering what the blonde guy had said about her waxing one of them. Although the absence of hair on one of them was quite visible, he seemed to need to touch them to make sure.

"Oh yeah, apparently I did that," she sniggered.

He stared at her. "Why?" 

"I don't know, but considering how drunk I was, I think I did a decent job."

"I thought one of them felt colder than the other... This looks really weird, I have one hairless leg. What the hell am I meant to do?"

"I can do the other one for you," she offered with a grin.

Tony huffed. "Yeah, I'll pass."

"Oh, come on, feel how smooth this one is. Trust me, freshly-smooth legs is a great feeling and you're not getting the full experience. You'll feel like a dolphin."

"Please stop caressing my shin, thank you."

"Okay, well, unless you let me do the other one, you'll have to spend however long it takes for that hair to grow back with uneven legs."

Tony sighed and shot Eleanora and exasperated look. "I can't believe this. Fine, Lenny, will you please wax my other leg?"

"It'd be my honour," she smiled.

• • •

"Alright, sit on the edge of the bath and prepare to be smoothened." 

"No no no," Tony shook his head, wagging his finger at her. "You're not coming near my legs until we've dealt with the cut on your head. Do you have any idea how it got there?" 

"Not a clue," Eleanora shrugged, looking at herself in the mirror through narrowed eyes. "Ooh, this is satisfying," she added, scratching the dried blood off with her fingernail. 

"Stop that and let me clean it like a normal person," he rolled his eyes, pushing her to sit down on the edge of the bath. "If it gets infected and gross, you're gonna have to get someone else to deal with it because I'm not touching that." 

"I'm perfectly capable of doing this myself, you know," she crossed her arms as he ran a cloth under running water. 

"You also said you were in control last night. You're not really good at the whole looking-after-yourself thing." 

"Says you," she huffed.  

"Well, that's why we gotta stick together, right?" he proposed, starting to wipe away the blood. 

"What, we can't look after ourselves but we'll look out for each other? This is like the blind leading the blind." 

"I think we're doing okay." 

"I'm bleeding and you've got one waxed leg."

Tony just shrugged. "I said okay, I didn't say great." 

It didn't take long to clean all the blood off, and Tony looked at her for a moment once he was done. "Do I put a bandaid on it?" 

"It's on my hairline, no thanks," she shook her head, standing up. "It'll be fine. Now, sit down, it's time to wax that leg." 

"Is it gonna hurt?" he asked hesitantly. 

Eleanora shook her head and waved a dismissive hand. "Of course not. You'll barely feel a thing."    

• • • 

"What the fuck?! This hurts so much, why do people do this?!"

"Oh, quit being a baby. No pain, no gain," Eleanora replied bemusedly, patting down another strip.

"I'm not gaining anything, I'm actually losing my beautiful leg h-AGH! Fuck!"

Tony whined in pain, smacking the back of his head against the bathroom wall and gripping the edges of the toilet he was sitting on.

"Nope, I'm not fucking doing this, I give up."

"Tony, I promise you, it looks so much worse right now with only a third of the leg done than it did before. But it'll look great once I'm done."

"A third?! I thought we were nearly finished!"

"Would it help if I knocked you unconscious?"

"Could you actually? I would appreciate that."

"Oh my gosh, no, I was joking. If you stopped complaining and wriggling around, I'd be able to get this done faster."

"Forgive me for not sitting still when you're viciously ripping-" he cut himself off with another cry of pain as she tore another strip off his skin.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

Tony and Eleanora turned towards Rhodey, who was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, staring at them in bewilderment.

"I'm waxing his leg," Eleanora answered brightly.

"Yeah, I gathered that. I meant why?"

"Well, let's just say last night was fuckin' wild, and I don't remember any of it but apparently we ended up going to some house party and a guy who found me on the grass outside this morning told me I waxed his leg last night in front of a bunch of people. But because I only did one, he had one smooth leg and one hairy leg so now I'm evening it up by doing the other one."

"Anyone who does this by choice is a fucking masochist," Tony groaned.

"No, they're just enduring physical pain to avoid the ridicule of others for not meeting society's standards of beauty that declare natural body hair is gross," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Okay," Rhodey said slowly. "I'll just leave you to it, then."

"You're such a fucking liar, Miss you'll-barely-feel-a-thing. I'm never doing this ever again."

"Not until the next time I drunkenly wax one of your legs," she joked.

"Lenny," he said firmly, "I'm not kidding, if this happens again, I will shave your head in your sleep."