I couldn't sleep throughout the night..I was just tossing and turning on my bed restless. On the day I was supposed to pick up the test result I purposely engaged myself doing everything and anything at home to make me forget that I had a test result to pick .

It was not untill Nkay called me to ask me the outcome that I prepared  myself  for the worse.

The next day I went early to the  health centre so as to avoid the long queue. Fortunately for me I was number Ten on the queue. And when I entered the consultation room it dawned on me that whatever was hidden beneath the brown envelope might make or mar my life. But a tiny part of me wished that this phase just like others before it will pass in a jiffy with me treating malaria only.

My thoughts was interrupted when the doctor walked in with my file containing two big brown manila envelopes.

Miss okeke I was expecting you to come yesterday what happened? He asked staring at me through his round rimmed glasses

I was quite busy sir that was why I couldn't come. I said rubbing my sweaty  palms on my skirt an action I engaged in when feeling nervous.

Ok. So the tests results are out  and one came out positive and the other Negative. But just like I suspected miss okeke, you're  six weeks pegnant.. congratulations

W...wh..what! Is this man speaking Swahili?

You're six weeks pregnant

That can't be I haven't had any symptoms  of pregnancy

Well the common symptoms of nausea, Diziness or sleeping excessively which you are aware of varies from one woman to the other while some occur during the first trimester, others come during the last and some inbetween...some mothers don't experience it at all.. you might experience these symptoms later on as the pregnancy progresses.

Meanwhile, the state government has provided a free medical care for pregnant women, nursing mothers and infants from 0-5 years old.
Nurse peace will give you some drugs courtesy of the programme.

Truth is I was hearing what he was saying but I couldn't fathom it because I felt like I was in someone else's dream watching my life unfold before me..I think it's called a trance right? Yes except that mine wasn't a vision or sign I could avoid it was reality..

I was visibly shaken by the news and doubted the genuineness of the result that on my way home, I stoped by the chemist shop to buy three test strips. I waited till it was night time when My siblings were asleep and I had privacy  to do the test.

Getting my Urine wasn't an Issue  because we usually kept a small custard cup which doubled as a potty in the room at night where we urinated in and  disposed in the morning so squatting on top of the potty, I peed on all three strips hilarious right? Yes but one can never put all her eggs in one basket at least the three strips will not lie if they all say the same thing.

Funny how at a point in a girls life we suddenly do not want to see our periods because it stains and makes us uncomfortable especially the pains or because we are at the reproduction  stage. But at a certain stage we become so alarmed when we miss our periods or it skips and we start finding X where y is equal to the last date seen. Well this was my case. I was at that phase now I did not want my period to miss and at the moment, I am looking for it with torch and candle.

The  five minutes wait were the most excruciating  moments of my life! I was pacing around and speaking in tongues...something I'd never done before, I was placing all my hope on those strips wishing for nothing more than a negative.

After a painful  wait, I went to the blue plastic table near the window to check it and lo and behold all three strips were staring back at me in a taunting way as if they were saying I could run all I want but I couldn't hide from the truth! I am pregnant and no matter how much I try to deny it, I cannot stop the little life I had growing in me from living or? Maybe I could afterall...
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