hi guys! im planning to name their group, "elites" do yall have any suggestion what could their fandom name be?  

elites - a select group of people perceived as having an intrinsic quality, high intellect, wealth, power, notability, special skills, or experience

chapter 39

"think twice" 

If someone would have told me a few months ago that instead of getting hated for another exposure, I would instead be praised, I would have laughed in front of your face. But dang, it really is happening. 

"Another gift for you, sunbaenim." A trainee who seems to be a few years older than me said, before giving me the 20th gift I have received today. Treasure sunbaenim's fans were able to identify who I was, and after that, I received a lot of support and love from them. They even give me gifts through other trainees who are allowed to walk inside the building of our company when the fans are still around. 

"Thank you," I told her before following my members who are already walking ahead of me towards the seventh floor. Yeah, you read that right. We are going to the seventh floor where the CEO's office is located. 

"Everybody, be nice, okay? I heard that we are getting our final group name today. Don't whine or even act weird, we are facing the CEO and Mr. Yang." Our manager, who was now in front of the door of the CEO's office reminded us, and I fought the strong urge to roll my eyes at her because I still haven't forgiven her for what she did to me, but then I remembered that I had to act professional right now. 

After a few seconds, our manager finally opened the door and we all went inside, it wasn't silent though, Blackpink sunbaenim's new song, "Shutdown" was playing and Mr. Yang seems to be enjoying it a lot because he had his signature grin on whenever he approves of something. 

"Here's to our new generation of girl groups!" Mr. Yang said when he saw us, he looks cheerful and his face seems more relaxed than the usual one he has when we are inside the practice room for monthly evaluation. Damn, I now kinda miss monthly evaluation, I miss seeing the As next to my name at the top of the chart. That kinda gave me a confidence boost, because right now I feel so small beside my other members. It's like I'm being left behind. 

I am also working hard like them, but it all felt so lacking for me. That's why I'm thankful for Treasure sunbaenim's fans, they make me feel special and loved for what they're doing for me. They make me feel that even if I'm still lacking, I still am worthy of attention and love. 

"By now I know you all know what your possible group name would be." 

My attention went to our CEO who was now looking at us with a serious look on her face, and I feel like peeing right now because of nervousness. And, of course we would know our possible group name since we also participated in suggestion some possible group names. We even jokes that we would like to be called baby monsters, and well, they actually used that term for us now as we are still not debuting. 

Now, almost everybody thinks we'll be called baby monsters, but it's not it. The staff just decided to ride along our craziness. 

"Your group name will be Elites!" After the CEO said that, we were shocked when some staff members came from the back of the curtains and they all yelled, "Congratulations, Elites!" Some of us shrieked, and I couldn't help but chuckle as I thank all of the staff members for their support. I also when to Eunkyung who is now crying as she couldn't believe that it was her suggestion that was chosen to be our group name. 

We all stuck together and did a group hug, and then later on we realized that everything was recorded, and we didn't even know anything about it! We were all oblivious that there were cameras in front of us! 

After all that, we were told that we'll be having a company meeting, a way to introduce us again to our seniors, but now we have a name, like an identity, it's a confirmation that we will be debuting soon. All the hardships we went through was worth it, because now, we're here. 

"Have you seen this?" Hiraya asked us as she was looking at the whiteboard inside our English classroom we went here as per ordered by Mr. Yang since he wanted us to see something, and to our surprise, it was Mr. Yang's hand writing on the whiteboard. There was now an X symbol over the question, "Do you want to go home after 6 years of training?" Mr. Yang used 6 years because if computed it would be the average training years we all had in YG entertainment, and below it were the words, "No one's going home after 6 years. Congratulations!" 

It's real. We really are near the finish line. 

I once again went to Eunkyung when she started crying. I was glad that she's crying because she's really happy, and the other members also started tearing up, I did too, I mean, who wouldn't? Everything feels like a dream. And, yes, I'm still scared of what might happen once we really debut, but I couldn't the deny the fact that I'm very happy right now. My younger self would have been so proud. 

And mum... would she be proud of me now? 

* * *

When the evening came, we were now on our way to one of Seoul's most high class restaurant. We were actually shocked when our manager told us that we would be eating there, since we all thought we're just going to eat samgyupsal in Hongdae, but then realization hits us that it wouldn't just be us who's eating dinner for tonight, but also our seniors. 

It means I'll be seeing Somi later! I miss that girl so much, it was so hard to be in contact with my S Squad since we've all been busy with work, and they all had their concerts and comebacks and I've been so busy preparing for debut, even attending a selfie class because as what my members told me, my selfies suck. Hiraya even told me that I take selfies like how her aunts and uncles would! 

"My heels are killing me!" Eunkyung whined as soon as we were walking upstairs, it was said that the CEO occupied the whole second floor for the artists while the staff members were in the first floor so they could also have their fun there. I was actually kinda sad since we were separated from our staff members who helped us reached to where we are now, but again, they might feel more relieved if they wouldn't be dining with the scary CEO and Mr. Yang. 

"Slowly, Eunkyung." Nari was fast enough to hold Eunkyung's waist to assist her when she was about to fall. We're all exhausted, so even though Eunkyung's used to wearing heels, she might also feel her legs go weak as each seconds pass by. 

"Finally!" I couldn't help but blurt out, causing my other members to laugh when we finally reached our destination. The whole place was dazzling! This place screams millions! It has a victorian style and the ceilings even had paintings on them. My mum would have loved this restaurant... She was a fan of designs like these. It's such a shame that she'll never be able to join us here. To see me, her daughter, achieve what she had been making me get ready for. 

"There's the stars for tonight!" One exclaimed, who I recognized as Mino sunbaenim, and I immediately looked for that face I've been wanting to see again, and a smile escaped my lips when I saw him. G-dragon sunbaenim is present tonight! My heart was beating rapidly inside my chest as a live band started playing as we entered. 

I saw our seniors taking pictures of us, and some even waved, Jisoo sunbaenim even gave us finger hearts when we passed by her table alongside the members of Blackpink. It gives me shivers how all these successful people are here with us right now. Especially Blackpink sunbaenim, they keep on getting better and better each and every comeback, their achievements kept on getting bigger too! I couldn't help but feel so small beside them, but what's awesome about our sunbaenims is that they don't act all high and mighty, they are all so humble. 

"Let us welcome, The Elites!" Our CEO said and everybody clapped their hands for us, and even congratulated us for finally having our group name, our very own identity in the industry. 

"One, Two, Three!" everyone went silent after the countdown, before they all shouted the words, "Welcome to YG Family!" And the happy tears came right after.

 Everybody was just so welcoming, I also met Somi too and of course my brother, Loren was present, and he even gave me a gift! When 10 pm strike, the CEO and Mr. Yang had already went home, and they just told us to enjoy for the rest of the night. Have I also mentioned that G-dragon sunbaenim asked me to take a selfie with him? I was so excited to put all those selfie classes I attended into action. Even Blackpink sunbaenim and I took pictures, we did a new version of our old picture from 2015 with the same pose and positions. 

I also noticed that my members are now slowly opening up to our seniors. Since, now they all look like long time friends, everybody looks so happy and I am too. I'm so happy to be here with all of them. 

"Congrats, our Byul!" Jihoon and Junkyu both said, and Doyoung was there, but then I kept on searching for a familiar face along with them, since they're my OG friends after all, but I already searched the whole room, there was still no sign of him. Yedam isn't here. 

"Thank you!" I told them, and I was about to look at my members to ask for help to handle them, but they all have their own circles now, and were busy talking so I had no choice but to talk to them alone. 

"You were searching for someone, huh?" Jihoon teased, and I was about to say yes, and that it was Yedam, but stopped myself since I'm afraid I'll ruin the mood of the night. 

"Ruto! Come here!" He called for the guy I've been ignoring ever since their concert because of so many reasons, but the only reason I can actually give right now, is because he looked so freaking good tonight. He was wearing a black coat and inside of it is a white long sleeves polo, with the first and second buttons opened. His now black hair is neatly brushed, and goddamn... his face, he has a different glow tonight, and the way he smiles... the way he smiles, it just makes me weak in the knees. I swear to God, this boy will give me a heart attack one day! 

I was actually preparing myself to calm down once he goes here, but to my surprise he just smiled and waved at Jihoon, and didn't even glance at my direction. 

That hurt. Even though he had no obligations to look at me, I still was expecting for him to at least glance at me, like the way I did all night long, hoping to meet his eyes once, but never did I even caught him looking at me. 

He wasn't staring at me anymore. Haruto's eyes weren't on me anymore. I felt a pang of pain in my chest with that realization, but I chose to ignore it. This was my fault after all. Maybe Haruto finally realized that I am too much to handle as his friend. Maybe this was for the better. 

Yeah. Maybe it really is. It's fine though, because it was all my fault. This was what I wanted, right? To have Ruto realize that I am too much to handle. That I have so many issues that would only frustrate him since he would never understand since he wasn't there when all those shitty things happened to me. 

It's all my fault for not being able to heal completely from everything. I just wish I did... then maybe I wouldn't be so scared to let him in. But now? I'm scared I might only hurt him. I like him, I really do, that's why if he really does have chosen to forget about me, then I would respect that. But I wouldn't deny that I am hurt by it.

This is better though, this time I wouldn't be blaming anybody but myself. And, this is for the better. 

I excused myself, told them that I'll be going to the restroom, when in fact I just wanted to go to the terrace that I saw, hoping to get some fresh air and to be away from them for a while to think and to clear my mind. 

When I was finally out in the terrace, I looked up at the moon and the dark sky that was pained with twinkling stars. The sky looked so pretty... mum looked so pretty today. Looks like mum decided to look pretty for tonight's event too. This is what I do sometimes, imagining mum as the pretty sky, in order for me to still be able to think she's still here, and a way for me to rant out everything whenever I feel like I'm gonna drown in my sea of problems. 

But I sometimes wish she was still here, not as the sky but as my mum, who can respond to each of my questions, even with the meanest of words, I just want her to be here right now. Because I'm so lost. I don't know how to act especially with how I feel right now. Everything's just a fucking mess. 

"Noona!" I was startled when I heard a familiar voice, and who else would be calling me "noona" other than the youngest artist in our company, right?

"Junghwan! How are you?" I asked, a smile immediately forming into my lips, as the sadness was slowly being pushed back as it has been a habit for me to act perfectly fine when someone is near, it was a way to protect myself from being seen in my vulnerable state, and who else would have taught me that? It was my mum. 

"I'm fine, I just feel bad because I've been absent the last few weeks, were you able to dance well without a partner?" he asked worriedly, and I saw how his brows were furrowed, and his tone really was lacing with concern, it made me smile genuinely this time. This boy... I love how he is so nice to everybody. I wish he'll stay the same way, I hope this cruel industry doesn't destroy his kind heart. 

"I was able to do well, don't worry about your noona. I'm not the best for nothing, you know!" I tried to joke, to lighten up our mood, and it worked since he lets out a chuckle. 

Junghwan and I had an easy time talking about random things, and it was nice being able to just talk about anything, you know? It made me realize that it's not a requirement to talk about too serious topics all the time, sometimes talking about what the different sleeping positions cats make also is a fun conversation. 

"Noona, if I tell you that I like you, would you believe me?" 

I stood frozen for a minute when Junghwan asked me that. Is he serious? He looks serious. But it's not possible, right? 

"Of course not!" I answered him, chuckling, and he chuckled with me, before ruffling my hair. 

"Of course. I can't like you, right?" he whispered, and this time I wasn't able to hear it since it was so soft that if I haven't noticed his mouth moving, I wouldn't know he said something. Just when I was about to ask him what he just said, Jeongwoo and Haruto came out of nowhere. 

"There you are! Hyung's searching for you!" Jeongwoo told Junghwan in a nagging matter, making the younger snort and asking which hyung who was searching for him. 

"I'll see you at school, noona." Junghwan said before waving his hand, and I did the same. When he was out of sight, I looked at Haruto and Jeongwoo who's standing in front of me. Now, this is kinda awkward. 

"Good to know our maknae has balls. What about us, huh?" Jeongwoo told Ruto, and I didn't get what they were talking about, so I decided to just excuse myself, but before I can run away from them, Haruto stopped me. 

"What?" I asked, as I look up to look at him straight in the eyes, but it was a very bad move. He was looking at me with a serious look on his face, and I didn't like it when he does this. I feel so intimidated and small compare to him when he does it. 

"I'm leaving." Jeongwoo exclaimed, before walking out on us, leaving me no chance of escape in the hands of this guy in front of me. 

"I thought we were fine now? Why are you starting to ignore me again, Hanbyul? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me." 

I closed my eyes and look away. Damn it! Just when I thought he finally gave up on me, why is he now suddenly back to crawling inside my life? I was finally accepting that he was walking out, but he once again proved me wrong. 

Just what is in his mind? 

"I thought you didn't want me in your life anymore," I blurted out, and I covered my mouth after saying all that. I fucking hate my mouth! 

I look at Haruto when he chuckled, and my brows furrowed when he held my chin in between his fingers. I gasped, because here goes my heart again. Beating so fast as if it knew who it belongs to. 

"What made you think that, hm?" Haruto asked, and his voice and tone, it was gentle, almost soothing and all I wanted to do was cry in front of him. Because I knew I didn't want him to be so involved in my life, and yet my heart aches when he doesn't give a fuck about me. 

I hate it when he doesn't spare me a glance. I hate it when he's not pestering me. I hate it when he acts as if he doesn't like me at all. As if I was a stranger. A fucking pest in his perfect life. 

"I thought you grew tired of me..." I whispered, before looking away, but he was fast enough to move my head back to face him again. He tsked before he placed his thumb near my eye to wipe a tear that fell. What? I was crying? 

"I'm sorry. I really should go, and you should too. And it's fine, Ruto. I'll get over this feeling in no time-" I was still blabbering about things I don't quite understand anymore when he decided to cut me off. 

"Do you really think you can get rid me of that easily? Think twice, darin. (darling)"  

to be continued. . .