Flashback

"I DIDNT FUCKING RAISE YOU TO BE THIS WAY HEAVENLY. ALL YOU DO IS DISAPPOINT AND DISAPPOINT AND DISAPPOINT, YOUR SO LUCKY I HAVE A LITTLE CARE FOR YOU BECAUSE IF I DIDNT YOUD BE ON THE FUCKING STREETS WHERE YOU BELONG"

I couldn't even respond at this moment, I just stared at her, I had no emotion left I mean how could I ?

I'm so used to this that now it doesn't even phase me.

I walk around this earth like a ghost, I don't speak to nobody outside the people I love, I don't even try to meet new people because I know I'd never give them what they need.

Plus I know I'm leaving soon, 29 days. Why would I even make an effort.

"ARE YOU LISTENING?" She came closer and closer to me.

I closed my eyes because I knew what was going to happen.

I than felt a burning sensation on my right cheek but my eyes were closed.

She took a deep breath and I opened my eyes to see a little sympathy in her eyes, but was I stupid? No.

"Just go to your room. I have to talk to you tomorrow." She said and walked away into her room where my dad was.

I know he heard but he never interferes. Even when he's watching my mom's episodes he just stands there and watches, I can tell he wants to do something but for some reason he never does.

Me and him do not talk. He acts like I'm invisible after my last attempt he went completely ghost on me. He'd only ever talk to me if it pleased him.

I walked up to my room and slammed my door behind me, I couldn't even walk or do anything anymore.

I slid down my bedroom door and felt hot tears come down my face, I just let them fall while staring at my wall.

I want to get out of here, and by here I mean this earth. I can't keep doing this any longer, I set a 30 day deadline and after that nobody will ever have to deal with me again.

my mother or should I even call her my mother?... she doesn't believe in mental health, or she thinks it's stupid, she thinks I'm doing this for attention and that I'm faking everything.

It all started when I came out to them in the 8th grade as bisexual when I had my first girlfriend Lia, we dated 8th grade till sophomore year. She was my first love so of course I wanted to come to my parents about it and let's just say they did not take it well.

Me and my parents used to be really close until I came out, ever since than they treat me like I'm a hostage , like I'm just some random bum that lives with them. They don't feed me, they don't take me to school, they don't do anything for me. I had to learn how to do everything myself.

I still stayed with Lia even though my parents hated her and sophomore year we ended up breaking up because she cheated, and her reasoning was because I became to much for her and I was way to depressed and she needed a distraction. Having those words told to me hurt. I don't ever want to be too much for someone, and I feel like I am with my 2 favorite people, Courtney and Luna.

My father on the other hand used to be my bestfriend but he switched into a person I don't even know anymore, the old him would have never cared I liked girls, he would be here for my mental health, he would feed me and take me to school, but now my mom has this horrific hold into him and all he does is sit around and listen to my moms orders all day.

I'm still on the floor currently I couldn't get up. I ended up staying there until I accidentally fell asleep.

—-

I got woken up from knocks at my door , I was still on the floor in the same clothes and even my shoes.

I got up from the floor and swung my door open, and of course it was my mother standing there with her hands on her hips.

"We need to talk." She said and turned around to walk away from my room, i knew I had to follow so I did just that.

We reached the kitchen table and my dad was already sitting down staring at me with pleading eyes. I gave him a weak smile and set down and so did my mom.

"So" she started and looked at my dad and back at me and started smiling, "me and your father are going on a 6 month work trip to Turks and Caicos, and you will be staying here alone. Now we know you don't have a job or any way of income so we will be sending you atleast 2.5k a week to help you get on your feet, and hopefully by the time we get back you'll be gone and living on ur own far away from us."

Oh woah mom soooo sweet leaving ur 17 year old daughter alone for 6 months... I know other 17 year olds would take advantage of this but honestly let's be foreal... I'm going to be gone In 29 days so does this even matter?

"k" is all I said and rolled my eyes, "is that all?" I ask already tired of this conversation, and bc I just woke up.

"Is that all hun?" She looked at my dad.

I saw him tense up a bit, "we are leaving one of the cars here, but when we leave we will need your location because we don't want you out doing stupid shit." He said sternly.

"Don't fuck up our car or we will really disown you without no car no money or no house, do you understand!" My mom adds in.

I nod and get up from the table, "uhnt uhnt we aren't done." She signals for me to sit back down.

I let out a loud sigh and sit back down giving them my rbf.

My dad pulls his wallet out his pocket and doesn't even count it and puts a big stack of money Infront of me.

I look at it and back at him and he puts on a small smile. "Here's for the first week, I don't know how much but it's more than enough."

"Okay you can go now. We have everything packed and we are leaving in about 45 minutes." My mom said and honestly I didn't even care about when they are leaving I just want to go back into my room and bedrot.

"k" I say and walk back into my room, I left the money on the counter because honestly I don't even need it, what? I'm gonna buy something expensive and only have it for 29 days? That's stupid.

I flopped on top of my bed and put the covers over me, I turnt on waves for the 6th time and started watching it, not even telling my parents bye but I did hear the door open and close and than silence so they must've already left.

After the movie I ended up walking downstairs to see what car they left for me.

I walk into the garage and the only car left Is the red challenger, which is honestly my favorite.

I go back into the living room and grab the keys off the table, I walked past the kitchen and seen the money sitting there so I took it and stuffed it in my pocket and left back to the garage.

I got in the car and started it hearing the engine purr which honestly gave me a 5 second reason to live. 

The garage opened and I left the house to grab some food.

Guys this is a flashback on how things have been at home 29 days before the attempt .