Billie's POV

I sat on the couch, barely registering the TV show playing in the background, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts I couldn't shake. Every time I tried to focus on something else, my thoughts would snap back to Heavenly-how I had seen her earlier, the way her eyes were a little more distant than usual, the way she had walked through the front door with Gia beside her.

Gia.

I didn't know what I expected, but seeing her walk in with Heavenly, the two of them looking so... comfortable together, made something twist uncomfortably in my chest. It wasn't jealousy, not exactly. Maybe a little. More than anything, it was the feeling that maybe I had missed my chance. Heavenly had pulled away after our argument, and instead of letting me in, she'd gone to Gia, this stranger she'd just met. The look on her face-she had seemed so at ease with Gia, something that I hadn't seen with her in a while.

Maybe I was overthinking it. Maybe I was just projecting my own fears. But what if-what if Heavenly was starting to like Gia? What if I had messed up, and now someone else was filling the space I should've been in? I couldn't stand the idea of it, even though I had no right to be upset. We hadn't talked about what we were, had we? We had barely even acknowledged that anything was happening between us.

I couldn't ignore how Heavenly made me feel-how she had opened up to me, how she had let me in just a little bit. That moment we shared in her room after our argument, when she let me hold her, felt like a step in the right direction. But now, I was left with this gnawing uncertainty. She had never said anything about us, and now she was out there, letting someone else into her world.

"Billie," Claudia's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I blinked, realizing I had been staring at the screen without processing a single thing. "Are you okay?"

I forced a smile, but it didn't reach my eyes. "Yeah, just tired."

Claudia raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it, but she didn't press. She turned her attention back to Finneas, who was too focused on the TV to notice anything. But I couldn't bring myself to care about any of it. I was too caught up in my own mess, too tangled in the idea that I was losing her.

I wanted to scream, to do something to fix this, but I didn't know how. It felt like everything I'd built with Heavenly was slowly slipping away, and I was powerless to stop it.

The argument we had earlier-the things I said... I regretted it all. I didn't mean to hurt her. But somehow, in the heat of the moment, I had pushed her away, and now I had no idea how to pull her back. The last thing I wanted was for her to think she couldn't trust me, or worse, that I didn't care.

But maybe I didn't need to fix it right away. Maybe I just needed to be there, even if it wasn't easy. I had never been good at opening up, at being vulnerable, but for Heavenly... Maybe it was time.

The thought of not telling her how I felt-of continuing to let things fester-felt worse than anything else. Maybe I didn't need to wait anymore. Maybe this was the moment I needed to stop second-guessing myself and tell her the truth.

Before I could overthink it any further, I stood up abruptly, pushing the thought of the TV out of my mind. "I'm gonna go check on Heavenly," I said, my voice tight despite myself. "I'll be right back."

"Billie, wait," Finneas called after me, but I was already moving, stepping toward the stairs before he could stop me.

I reached Heavenly's room and knocked lightly, unsure of what to expect. When she didn't answer right away, I let myself in, my heart hammering in my chest.

She was lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, looking like she was deep in thought. Her eyes met mine as I stepped inside, and she sat up slowly, not quite surprised, but not exactly welcoming, either.

"I just... wanted to check on you," I said, my voice quieter than I intended. I leaned against the doorframe, not knowing exactly what I wanted to say, but feeling like this moment was my chance.

"Billie..." Her voice was soft, hesitant. "You don't need to-"

"I do," I cut in, my words spilling out before I could stop them. "I'm sorry. About earlier. About how I acted. I shouldn't have said what I did. It's just... I can't keep pretending that I don't care about you. That I don't want something more."

Her gaze softened for a moment, and my heart raced as I took a cautious step closer to her. I didn't know if she felt the same way, if I was making a fool of myself, but I had to know. I needed to know if there was still a chance for us.

"I don't know what's going on with you and Gia," I continued, trying to keep my voice steady. "But I need you to know that I care about you. More than I've let on. And if you want me to back off, I will. But I can't keep pretending that I'm okay with seeing you move on with someone else."

I watched her closely, her expression unreadable as she processed my words. Her eyes were searching mine, and for a moment, the air between us felt thick with all the things we hadn't said. I held my breath, waiting for her to speak.

Heavenly's POV

I watched Billie as she stood there, her eyes wide, her words hanging heavy in the air between us. She was sincere, but so was I, and it felt like everything was coming to a head. Part of me wanted to close up, to pull away again, but I couldn't. Not this time.

I didn't know how to start, but the words spilled out anyway. "Billie..." My voice cracked, and I could feel the rawness in my chest as I tried to push past the walls I had built around myself. "I care about you, too. I can't deny that. But you... you hurt me. You pushed me away when I needed you the most, and it's not easy to forget that."

Billie opened her mouth, but I raised my hand to stop her. "Let me finish." I needed to say this. I had to.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the way my heart was racing. I hadn't been this open in so long. Hell, I hadn't even been able to admit how much I was feeling for her, but it was time. "I don't trust easily, Billie. My whole life... I've been hurt, abandoned, left behind. My parents? They don't care about me. You know that. And I've spent so much time telling myself that I don't need anyone. That I'm better off alone."

I felt a sharp, bitter laugh in my throat, but I swallowed it back. "But I let you in, Billie. I actually let you in, and I don't know if that was a mistake or not. I don't know if I can trust you again. You've shown me who you are, but I'm still scared. I'm scared of feeling like I'm not enough for you. Like one wrong move and you'll just leave, like everyone else."

I felt my chest tighten, the familiar ache of old wounds coming back to the surface. The tears that had been threatening to spill earlier were right there again, but I didn't want to cry. Not yet.

"I'm not easy, Billie," I added, my voice quieter now, more vulnerable. "I'm broken. I've been broken for so long, and I don't even know how to fix myself. I'm dealing with things you don't even understand. My depression, my suicidal thoughts... they're always there. Every single day. And it's not easy to let someone in. It's not easy to trust anyone."

I looked away for a moment, trying to collect myself, but when I looked back at her, I could see the pain in her eyes. She wasn't perfect, but I wasn't either. I needed her to understand. I needed her to see what was going on inside of me.

"I want to believe in us, Billie. I really do," I admitted, my voice shaky now. "I can feel myself developing feelings for you. But I'm scared. I'm scared of getting hurt again, scared of putting myself out there and trusting that someone won't just walk away when it gets hard. I've been hurt by people I loved before... I don't know if I can take that again."

I hesitated, my fingers fidgeting with the sleeve of my hoodie as I fought the urge to pull back again. "But that doesn't mean I'm just going to erase Gia out of my life. Not right now. I don't know where things are going with her yet, but I'm not going to shut her out just because I'm scared of getting too close to you."

The words felt like they weighed a ton, but they were honest. I couldn't keep pretending that I didn't feel something for Gia, even if it was new. I couldn't ignore the way she made me feel, the way she made me forget, even just for a little while, the darkness inside me.

Billie's face softened, but I didn't know what that meant. Was she angry? Disappointed? I didn't know. I couldn't read her anymore, and that scared me more than anything else.

"I don't know what this means, Billie," I said, my voice almost a whisper. "I don't know what we are. But I'm not going to let you control me, and I'm not going to let you hurt me again. If you want to be with me, you're going to have to show me that you actually care. Not just when it's convenient for you, but all the time."

I took a deep breath, standing a little straighter, even though I was shaking inside. "I'm still trying to figure myself out. But I'm not just going to shut you out, either. I'm giving you a chance, Billie. But you need to show me that I can trust you."

I stood there, waiting for her response, even though I didn't know what I was hoping for. The silence felt heavy, and I wanted to pull away from her, but I stayed in place, watching her face, hoping she would say something that would make me feel less scared. Something that would give me a sense of peace, just for a moment.