Whoever's idea it was to start training at 6:00 am was not my favorite human.

Tony had the "brilliant" idea that all the new recruits should start being trained by current Avengers so we could learn to work together in spite of our differences. I really think he was just trying to keep us all busy. Correction. He was trying to keep Cassie busy so she wouldn't go off and form her own super secret group of heroes.

Unbeknownst to Tony, he was too late. That ship was probably in Fuji by now.

In spite of Tony's best efforts, the whole fast friends thing was not working out too well. So far the morning had consisted of me insulting spider boy (I may have called him seagull-man complete with what I considered a very catchy theme song), Johnny spilling his coffee all over Cassie, and a lot of suspicious looks.

But from the looks of it, Sam, Bucky, and Daisy were planning on turning us into a functioning team with or without our cooperation. Unfortunately for them, it was going to be without.

"Alright." Daisy cleared her throat. "Welcome to Day One of training. To start things off, we're going to break you off into teams."

"Why can't we pick our teams?" Cassie interrupted. "I don't want to be on a team with him." She pointed to Johnny Storm who was too busy chugging six shots of espresso to notice. 

"Because in the real world, you have to learn to work together with people that you didn't get to choose." Sam answered whilst shooting dagger eyes at Bucky. Honestly, they needed a team building exercise just as much as we did. Maybe even more.

"Exactly." Daisy nodded in agreement. "Bishop, Keener, Parker, Williams. You're all a team. You'll be working with our very own Captain America, Sam Wilson." She paused. "Barton, Lang, Stark, Storm. You're together. You'll be working with Agent Barnes." She smiled. "I'll be available to work out special training sessions for those of you who are enhanced."

"Awesome." Johnny exclaimed under his breath. This remark earned him a warning glare from all three instructors.

"Before we break up into groups, I want all of you to ask yourselves the question: Why am I here? If you're here for the glory of having your face on lunchboxes and backpacks, that's not going to be good enough." Daisy paused to look at each one of us.

"In my time with S.H.I.E.L.D., I have been betrayed by my closest friends, seen friends sustain injuries from which they never recovered, seen friends die." Her voice cracked as she took a deep breath. "This isn't a job. This is your life. The people next to you will become your closest friends. They'll be your family. And they need to know that when the war starts, that you'll have their back no matter what. I can guarantee you that if you stick with this, you'll never be the same."

Never be the same. The story of my life. Join Hydra. Never the same. Kill Peter's parents. Never the same. Escape. Never the same. Natasha. Never the same. Captured. Never the same.

It was all a part of who I was now. While surrounded by tragedies, they had molded me into the person I was today. This wouldn't be any different in that regard.

Why am I here? To be honest, I didn't know. Tony had told me I was going so here I was. But that wasn't a good enough reason to stay.

In spite of the DNA test, I still hadn't been able to even call him Dad. Part of me wondered if I ever would. Was I too damaged by Hydra to ever just be normal?

Was it bad that there was a part of me that didn't want to be here training? A cute little house in the country with sunflowers and white picket fence almost sounded nice.

I shifted my stance as I reconsidered Daisy's question. I stole a glance at the Cassie and Peter. Neither one seemed the least phased by the question. Maybe I was just overthinking this. 

"Alright." Daisy forced a fake smile. "Any questions, concerns, or smart remarks?" From the glare on her face, it looked like the first person who spoke would regret it. "Good." She genuinely smiled. "I'll leave you two at it."

"My team." Bucky barked. "Gym A."

My eyebrows raised as the drill sergeant in him came out. It was far too early for this. After the last several weeks of relaxation at Tony's Maine Beach House, I had decided I wasn't a morning person or a night owl. I'm just one of those people who appreciates a minimum ten hours of sleep, a chai latte, and a good book. None of which I seemed to be getting today.

"Any tardiness, sass, or backtalk will not be tolerated." Bucky's stern voice pulled me further out of my daydreams. I stiffened upon realizing he was staring directly at me.

"Don't tell me you're going to start assigning push-ups." I mumbled under my breath. On my left Cassie Lang struggled to hold back a snort. At least someone found my sarcasm entertaining.

"Stark." Bucky shouted. "I want 10 push-ups."

"Of course you do." I muttered.

"You better start moving or I'll add some laps."

I rolled my eyes as I very slowly got down to begin the taskmaster's workout routine. He knew I hated running. Whose bright idea was it to put him in charge or to put me on his team?

The rest of training went pretty well, other than me being assigned more pushups and laps than anyone else. In fact, I got assigned so many push-ups that everyone else was dismissed because I was per Bucky "dawdling". I internally snapped back that just become Mr. Super Soldier Serum could do 100 without breaking a sweat didn't mean the rest of the world could.

"So how long are you going to be mad at me?" I finally questioned as I stopped moving. He had to be mad at me for leaving the hospital and not telling anyone. If I were in his place, I'd be fuming.

"I'd quit talking and start moving." He emotionlessly replied.

"Well, you did say you'd stay here til I was done." I crossed my arms as I glared up at him. "You know I am entirely capable of sitting here all day and blabbing about absolutely nothing." Game. Set. Match. Beat that.

"Well, I'm incredibly capable at standing here and ignoring you."

"You know you're being harder on me than anyone else in there." I angrily began. "If you're mad at me just yell at me or something. I can't take not knowing. My whole life has been a big secret and I'm sick of it."

"I'm not mad at you." He calmly began. "I'm trying to make sure you won't end up killing yourself out there." He sighed and then began pacing. "I know you won't tell me if something's wrong. You'll just keep plowing forward until it's too late. If I can't protect you, I can at least make sure you're prepared."

"I'm not trying to shut you out. It just happens." I shrugged. It was my defense mechanism; I could acknowledge that. I wasn't proud of it, but it had kept me alive this long.

"What happened back there? Why'd you leave again?" He let out a sigh as the straight faced facade slipped away.

"I thought I was protecting you."

"You don't need to protect me. I can handle it." His voice grew louder. "Just let me protect you. I can't keep chasing after you."

"I know." My gaze darted down to foam mats that lined the floor.

"And I can't keep being left behind."

That was what all of this was about. He thought I was going to abandon him too.

"Why didn't you go back with him?" I glanced back up at him. Curiosity outweighed my better judgement.

"I didn't belong there anymore." He shrugged as he lowered himself onto the floor next to me. "I never wanted to be a hero, but when I was drafted I figured I could serve my country and protect those who couldn't protect themselves. I never thought I'd be turned into one of the people I tried to stop." He paused. "They all came back as heroes. I came back as." His voice trailed off.

"You were always my hero, Buck." A small smile flickered on his face before disappearing. He was the closest thing to a big brother I had. Yes, sometimes he was annoyingly overprotective, but most of the time, he was alright.

"I hate them for what they did to us and wished we had never had to go through that." His voice was barely audible as he continued. "But I never for one second wished that you weren't a part of my life."

I smirked at his admission. Oh really, all my annoying questions and he didn't regret any of it? In that case, I might as well keep going. "Heard Sam's sister shot you down." I began innocently. "What was her name?" Samantha? Sandra?"

"Sarah."

"Sarah." I slowly repeated. "That's a shame. You and Sharon Carter could be cute together." I paused. "Then again, there's that whole issue of her making out with Steve."

"Don't you have thirty more pushups to go?" Fudge. He hadn't forgotten about those.

"Whatever happened to that red head that you kept talking about?"

"I never talked about a red head."

The look in his eyes said quite differently.

He quickly rose to his feet as he refused to maintain eye contact with me. I had just struck a nerve. If I was smart, I would have shut up, but this conversation that just become vastly more entertaining.

"Yeah you did. It was one time when you were coming out of the mind control. You said you shot her." I paused. "You were really worried you had killed her."

Bucky shifted nervously. "That was a long time ago."

"So there really was a red head." I stopped doing push-ups again and began to glare at him. "What's her name?" If I could get him focused on her, maybe he would stop bugging me or at least forgot about the push-ups.

"You're still making her do push-ups?" Sam questioned as he peaked into the gym.

"He's telling me about a red head." I shouted back.

"Red head?" Sam smirked as he shoved the door fully open and strolled into the gym.

"Sam." Bucky growled.

"Oh no, I'm staying for this." A grin spread across his face. "Snowball here is finally getting interesting."

"It's nothing."

"Ohhh." I squealed. "He's getting defensive."

"His face is turning red too." Sam added. "Is that embarrassment?"

"Stop." Bucky growled.

"We're just helping you explore new emotions." I innocently added. "Now what was her name?"

"Whose name?"

"The redhead." I shouted. "Come on Buck." I pleaded. "If you don't tell me I'll just figure it out eventually."

"No."

"Come on it started with an M or an N."

"Madison?" Sam shouted.

"No." I rolled my eyes. "Megan?" I slowly
questioned. "That's not right. Natalie." I paused as Bucky's race grew more agitated. "Natalia?" I paused once more.

"She's dead." He shook his head.

"Natalia." Sam slowly repeated. "You mean Natasha?" His face instantly transitioned into a huge grin. "No." He began to sputter. "No way! You and Natasha?"

"This conversation is over." He snapped as he headed towards the door.

I hopped to my feet as I raced after him. "Buck!" I hollered. "Bucky!" When I finally caught up to him, I grabbed his arm. He tensed upon my touch and finally stopped.

I froze upon seeing his eyes filled with tears. In all my time with him, I couldn't remember ever seeing him cry. "I'm sorry." I softly whispered. "I miss her too."

He nodded before enveloping me into a bear hug.

"We ok?"

"Always." He finally answered before releasing me from his embrace. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I nodded. I knew he'd always be there, but there were still some things that I wasn't ready to share with anyone, not even him. My phone buzzed from where I had haplessly discarded it on the floor this morning.

"Go ahead." He smiled. "I'll meet you in the cafeteria?"

"Sure." I nodded as I watched Sam follow him out. I grabbed my phone and noted that the number was restricted. Probably just someone overly worried about my car's extended warranty.

I slid the button to answer the call. Hopefully, it was a real person. Robocalls greatly eliminate the fun of prank calls. "Hello?"

"Ita been a long time kid."

My stomach sank at the sound of his voice. "How did you get this number."

"Your little blonde friend talks very easily."

I closed my eyes as I considered what Jack could have blabbed. "I told you I want nothing to do with you or your current line of work."

"Relax. You haven't even heard my proposition yet." His voice was just as haughty as ever.

"I know you. I know I want nowhere near you. You left me in a burning building last time."

"You got out with relatively few injuries."

"The Ronin almost killed me."

"But he didn't. That's all that matters in our line of work."

"Do me a favor. Lose this number." My gaze frantically darted towards the door. Bucky. I needed to find Bucky. He hated him just as much as I did, maybe even more.

"Just thought you might like to know that a man with a purple mask is after you."

"I'm well aware." I quickened my pace towards the door.

"He has a video you might be interested in retrieving."

"He has nothing on me that the Avengers don't already know about."

"What about June 18?" I froze. That was impossible. There was no way. "They know about that?"

"That's impossible. No one knows about that."

"And yet I've seen the video."

"Stay away from me or I'll put a bullet in your skull."

I grimaced as I heard him laugh. "I also happen to have some intel on North Dakota." He paused. "I heard you might consider that worth something."

"I don't care what's in North Dakota."

"Well if that's the case I'll just go ahead and put a bullet in his head. He won't feel anything being a popsicle for all these years."

"What do you want, Rumlow?"