"I just feel like she helps me quitting the smoking, you know? I feel good with her. I don't have the desire to smoke when I'm around her and even the doctors say that my lungs got better."

I nodded, writing down that he made progress, before looking him in the eyes.
    "Is there something else you would like to talk about?"

He nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. "Do you think that I could be in love with her?"

I smiled at him, grabbing my teacup and taking a sip. "I'm sure you could. It has been hard seeing your wife die from the same chemo you had but it happened a long time ago and from what I heard, you already are in love with her.
        The fact that you do not have the desire to smoke when you're around her means that people at an early stage of love have lower levels of serotonin, which is associated with feelings of happiness and well-being, and higher levels of cortisol, associated with stress."

He looked at me, his eyes wide, a bit taken aback by my sudden outburst of facts and 'doctorness', but at the end he smiled and nodded.
"I'm in love with her."

I nodded along, smiling at his happiness before realizing that the time was up. Slurping the remaining of the tea, he got up and shook my hand, thanking me and leaving my office.

I fell back into my chair, attaching the newest notes to his file, before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

Massaging my forehead to release some of the stress, I grabbed my phone, dialed the number of the Bennington Sanatorium and letting it ring four times.
    "Bennington Sanatorium, Las Vegas. Mrs. McCarty, how can I help you?"

"Hello, Mrs. McCarty, Dr. Weaver here. Could you maybe tell me how my sister is doing?"

I could hear her sighing, before her voice went quiet. "Normally, I wouldn't be allowed but for you, I'm gonna make an exception. She's doing fine, her seizure was quickly ended by the nurses. She's sleeping now, but I can tell you that you helped a lot."

I let out a deep breath I didn't realized I had been holding in, nodding and running my free hand through my hair.
"Thank you, a lot. You think she's gonna be awake this afternoon, let's say 5pm?"

"I think, but I'm not sure. I'm going to ask the doctor and call you back, okay?"

I nodded. "Sure, but please hurry. I have another appointment in half an hour."

"Sure, will do. Bye, Dr. Weaver."

I said my goodbye's, hanging up the phone and letting my head fell to my desk, feeling my eyes starting to get heavier.
I didn't get much sleep this night because of my sister.
She's had a seizure and I was called to help her, so I drove there 3am in the morning, not leaving her side until 8.30, when my first patient would be in my office.

Let's just say it was a long night and I couldn't really focus.
I was still worried about her, having the feeling I could have done something.
Could have done more.

"Dr. Weaver, there's someone who would like to talk to you."
My head shot up as the worried voice of Maria reached my ears.
"It's an FBI Agent. He said you knew him from Prison."

I blinked a few times, trying to come back to reality and to think straight. Slowly, I nodded as I remembered that it must be Agent Hotchner from the BAU.
"Tell him I'll be there any minute."

She nodded as well, smiling softly at me. But it wasn't the polite smile, it was the: 'I am worried about you' smile.
"Oh, and Maria?"

She turned around right before she could open the door and came to a halt.
"Yes, Dr. Weaver?"

"I am okay. You don't have to worry."
She smiled, nodded and closed the door behind her.

I took one last sip of my tea, looking in the mirror and adjusting my jeans and my pullover, before taking a deep breath and slapping my face, trying to get myself to wake up and leave a good impression on the Agent.

"Hello Agent Hotchern."
I greeted him as I stepped out of my office, holding the door open for him to enter.
"You don't mind being alone with me, do you?" I joked, trying to make the bitter but kind man to smile, which I had been successful with.

"I would worry if I were a serial killer but me, an Agent of the FBI? I don't mind in the slightest."

I smiled, nodding along with him as he sat down on the chair opposite of me.
"So, what brings you here, Agent?" I started as I grabbed ahold of the teapot, ready to pour it into a new little orange cup- the color matching the one of the wall behind me-.
"Want some tea?"

He shook his head and lifted one of his hands, signalling me I should stop.
"No, thank you. I'm more of a coffee kind of person."

I shrugged and sat down again. "That's what I thought too but I guess I just wanted to be polite before we get to the serious part of the conversation."

He cleared his throat, linking his hands and lying them down in front of him on my desk.
"I know that you declined my offer at working with the BAU, but I am here again to ask you as polite as possible to rethink your decision or maybe just helping us with some of the important and difficult cases. It is very urgent that we catch as many serial killers as possible and I know for sure that you could help us out."

I was about to open my mouth but he interrupted me.
"And before you decline, again, I want you to think about why you didn't just stay a normal psychiatrist but did more. Writing books and deciding to become a prison psychologist at a very young age. Why did you do it?"

I was a bit taken aback but tried not to show it as I answered as fast as I could. "Because I wanted to help people."

"Then answer me one question. If I don't get the answer I hope I get, I'm never gonna ask you again."

I nodded, curious of what the question would be and how he wanted me to answer.
"Do you sometimes ask yourself, if you could do more?"

My heart stopped for a moment and I held in my breath. He was a very good profiler. I didn't know how to answer because if I really would answer the way I thought, I would have to follow him.
The problem was that I knew how right he was.

I would love to be in the BAU, doing something right when it happens, or even prevent it from happening.
But I couldn't leave my sister, right?

As far as I knew, the BAU was in Quantico, far away from Las Vegas. I had made a promise to my sister that I would never leave her side and I couldn't just break that promise because of a job.

But was it selfish to think that I'd love to go there, that I would leave anything behind just to do what I wanted to do?

I closed my eyes for a moment. I was exhausted, confused and felt torn apart. I wasn't sure if the decision I made intuitively was right, but there was no turning back now.

"Are we catching the earlier flight or do I still have some time to pack my bag?"

~●~

Ahhh guys!

She's following along, how surprising lmaoo

I hope you liked this chapter and please comment and vote!

Love u❤❤❤