(f song - strawberry guy)

(Y/N)'s pov:
i stayed with kyle and his family the rest of the weekend recovering from the whole event. he was so nice in which he made me food and we watched movies and played video games. i still felt awful and extremely depressed, but he made it a bit better. we had also started to become closer physically. maybe it was just me imagining it (and hoping it), but i could've sworn that after that cuddling session on friday morning there were more "accidental" hand touches and hugs. anyway, his family even looked out for me and treated me as one of their own. ike cheered me up by playing pirates with me while gerald and sheila treated me like their daughter. tolkien and stan both texted me on how proud they were of me and how clyde was now one of the most hated people in school. this made me laugh a bit when i read it. on monday i went back to my house. i didn't go to school for the next few days, but when i did on wednesday, i was back to being a mess.

it was lunch and i could feel everyone's eyes on me as i walked though the cafeteria. i also knew i wasn't a pretty sight to look at. my hair was unbrushed and in knots, my eyes held deep purple bags as if i'd been punched, and my clothes resembled those of someone that lived in only one outfit. after the whole clyde incident, nobody knew what to say to me. i didn't even know if anyone still wanted to be friends with me. the only people i knew i had were token, kyle, and stan. not even wendy had consoled me after i was exposed. i just felt so depressed it made me reject the most basic needs. clyde ruined everything and i don't think i could ever forgive him for it. i got in line for lunch and went through the motions, just deep in thought about everything i could think of. i was snapped back into reality when the lunch lady said my name.

"(Y/N)?"

i glanced up and painted a fake smile on my face. "sorry miss." she started to ask another thing but i escaped before i could be interrogated about my current state. i walked towards my usual table but was stopped halfway by bebe. we stood in the middle of the cafeteria where some had started to watch us. she stood there looking nervous but obviously ready to tell me some bad news. i stopped in front of her and said hi.

"hi, listen (Y/N), you know i love you to death and all, but maybe, um..." she trailed off while fiddling with her hands nervously. i raised my brow in annoyance.

"maybe what bebe?"

"well i don't think you should sit with us today. at least not until you're feeling better!" she tried to cover it up with a small smile but avoided eye contact at all points. i stood there in shock.

did she really just say i can't sit with them?

"why bebe? why can't i sit with you? is it because i'm hanging out too much with kyle-" i whispered the last part. i knew this would hurt since bebe used to like him, but i didn't care since she hurt me first. her face grew angry and she started to shout.

"you're the most depressed person i've ever met and excuse me for saying this but, i think you need professional help."

my mouth dropped open. at her yelling, everyone in the room had turned to look at us. her eyes grew wide as she realized what she had just admitted. it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. i tried to search for what to say.

"so-so you're blowing me off because i-i'm a little depressed?" my voice echoed off the walls. i stood there waiting for a response, but nothing came. bebe only looked up at me with pity and sat in the silence. i scoffed and rolled my eyes. when i started to walk away she tried to stop me.

"w-wait (Y/N) that sounded bad i meant-"

"it doesn't fucking matter what you meant." i whispered and started to make my way out of the cafeteria as quickly as possible. i couldn't believe that one of my best friends was now ditching me because i happen to be mentally ill.

i'm still a person.

i was carrying my food out with me until some asshole i didn't know yelled:

"why bring your food when we all know you're going to puke it up anyways?"

tears were already swimming in my eyes, but this comment allowed them to officially start falling. a few snickers could be heard from around the room but most were concerned whispers. i looked down at my food. it made me more sick than i already felt. he was right though. i probably would've thrown it up anyways so i dumped it in a nearby trash can as i kept walking. i didn't look back as i exited the cafeteria and made my way towards the janitor's closet.

i walked as quickly as i could towards it, all the whole brushing tears off my cheeks. i heard a pair of running footsteps behind me come closer and closer. all of a sudden, kyle and stan stood in front of me, a little out of breath and leaning on their knees. "(Y/N) are you okay?" stan asked between breaths. i tried to keep my composure and forced a smile as i nodded in response. "yeah i'm fine, why?" as i said this, my lip quivered and hot, steamy tears painted my face. i don't even know why i tried to cover it up when it was obvious that i was extremely upset. they glanced at eachother, then both looked at me, concerned. "no you're not (Y/N), come here." kyle guided me into his arms and wrapped me in a hug. i gave into it as i put my arms around his waist and started sobbing into his chest. luckily, nobody else except the three of us were in the hallway at this time. any other time i would've been embarrassed i was crying to my crush, but in this moment i couldn't care less. i could tell stan didn't know what to do, so he awkwardly patted my back.

"i'm sorry i'm such a fucking mess." i choked out in between sobs. kyle shushed me quietly.

"shh- (Y/N) it's okay. i promise." his embrace tightened around me and once again i felt at home. his heartbeat pounded through his chest and provided me comfort. we stayed like this for a minute or two with him stroking my hair and me crying until we heard running footsteps behind me. i broke away reluctantly from the hug and wiped my tears as i turned to meet wendy.

"(Y/N) i'm so sorry, none of us told bebe to do that. she's just a self-image absorbed bitch. what she did was awful im so sor-"

i cut her off by tackling her in a hug. she stood there shocked at first, but then hugged me back tightly. after a few moments her body started to shake a bit and i could feel her choke back sad hiccups. "i'm sorry i didn't text or call after stupid clyde, i had no idea what to say. why didn't you tell me any of this stuff before?" she asked. i stepped back but still held her by her shoulders. "i was worried that you would think i'm crazy." her face fell even more. "oh (Y/N) i think you're amazing! nothing could make me think negatively of you. i love you so much." we hugged once again and held each other in fear we would somehow be torn apart.

"i love you too wendy." 

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A/N: i made a reference to a kristen stewart movie so if you can find it go you. i feel like the quality of each chapter i write is just getting worse and worse lol. anyways hope y'all have a swag day and i'm not fucking this up too much !