I sat up against the right window, stretching my legs over the seat next to me, hanging my ankles over the edge so my trainers wouldn't touch the seat. I connected my airpods to my phone, turning the volume on full before clicking play on my liked songs, shuffle causing Skepta to play first.

I knew what it was to be black way before I was on the GQ cover
How you gonna question me about colour?
What you know about Nelson Mandela?
Man, I get anti as ever
Yeah, I can do serious, I can do mean
Tell a supremacist that I'm supreme
Oh, everybody's woke now, guess I'm just lost in a dream
But still, I'm predicting the future, I said this is how shit would go
The streets at an all-time high, the government at an all-time low
Politicians tryna get tickets to come to the shows
I shake hands with a long arm, never get close
Can't see me, I stay ghost, man, I move like cigarette smoke

We've been growing apart
Been through the war's and I can show you the scars
Still on the road, I'm still on the boulevard
They should've told you that I glow in the dark

Jude tapped my feet for me to move them but I ignored him, instead using one hand to hold my phone out to him and the other to point to the music playing on it.

They would love to see me on a pushbike pedalling scores
Eighteen pound fourty, I was accepting shorts
Fast forward, see me on TV collecting awards

"Move man," he grew impatient.
"When the songs done!" I laughed as if it were obvious.
"You're really gonna make me wait?"
"And?"

Marcus leant forwards to dap me up again as him and Jesse burst out laughing.
"You know I didn't mean it like that-" he started but instead of listening I rocked my head with the music.

"Now she can't understand why she used to hang around with them eddiat man."
I nintendo switch it, fam, I got the game in my hands
I'm a different species
Summertime got a new swag for the beaches
Look in my wardrobe and it's all reference pieces

"Alright I get your point," he had his hand on the backrest, debating whether or not he should just move my legs as he definitely had the strength to.

I finally took out an airpod, "Let me know what's going on then. Why you acting like I ain't shit?"
"I weren't! It came out wrong," he said exasperated.
"Mhm," I moved my feet but put my airpod back in.

He sat down, staring forwards and wiping his hands down his face, taking a deep breath.
"I genuinely didn't mean it like that, it's just this dickhead starting drama over nothing," he pointed to Marc as I simply shrugged, done with it all.

"I didn't start shit," he laughed, "She heard you herself. Maybe you should learn to respect her more instead of tryna blame someone else."
"I ain't taking no advice from you," Jude kissed his teeth, the veins in his arm becoming more prominent the more he got pissed off and clenched his fists.

"Yeah well-"
"Guys just leave it, both of you," I grew fed up, placing my legs how they were previously, this time over Bellingham's lap.
"I promise you love it weren't even like that-"
"So what he's just gonna get away with it?" Marcus interrupted, Jesse slapping his chest lightly to tell him to shut up.

"Bruv this don't concern you," Jude stressed, trying to explain himself to me but getting interrupted everytime.
"Relax, we'll just talk about it on campus."
He drew patterns with his finger on the bare skin of my ankle where my jeans had ridden up slightly, not looking at me, "I don't like when you're pissed at me though."

"I'm not, I just- We'll talk about it later. Come here," I groaned, annoyed at giving in so easily. What was this boy doing to me?
He smiled, leaning on his side to hug me round my waist as his upper body laid on top of me and my legs on top of his lower body. (idk if this makes any fckn sense but like) ((they're in a coach remember))

"You gonna let me listen?" he had a small smirk on his face, chin on my stomach as he looked up at me.
"Don't push it."
He laughed, tightening his grip around me and closing his eyes as the coach pulled off from its parking spot and onto the main road.

Twenty minutes had passed and almost all the boys were asleep with the exception of Walker and Shaw who I could hear talking towards the back of the vehicle. Jude fell asleep on me almost instantly as I played with his hair, mouthing along to the music I had playing.

His ringtone went off, causing him to stir and shuffle but not wake up. I took it out his hand to turn it off so none of the other boys would wake up but read the contact name Tiyrah. Now I know my memory ain't great but I could've sworn that's his exes name.

Curiosity got the better of me and I answered the call, replacing my airpod with his phone.

"You picked up?" she sounded excited, her voice high pitch and annoying.
I stayed silent.
"Look I know some of the stuff I did was a bit... wrong of me. But like, I swear I'm past all that! We should just forgive and forget you know?"

I stayed silent, starting to feel guilty, it's his phone after all.
"Why would you pick up if you ain't gonna talk baby? I miss you. You must miss me too otherwise you wouldn't still be texting me."

Oh. Oh. That ain't gonna run.

I hung up, shaking the boy laid on my lap.
"Bruv wake your arse up."
"Huh? Chill man, what's wrong?" he laughed, sitting up and wiping his eyes, "We here?"
"Tiyrah. Talk. Right now," I folded my arms, done with the bullshit.

His eyes widened, "What?"
"You've got forty seconds to save yourself from a slap and a breakup, was a minute but you're wasting time acting stupid."

"I don't get it? What? She's my ex?" his eyebrows stayed furrowed as he looked at me in confusion.
"Are you still in touch with her?"
"No?"
I laughed, "Fuck off, there's a spare seat over there."

"What? Bruv at least explain to me what's going on!" he grew stressed as I rolled my eyes.
"You tell me."
"I'm sure this is a misunderstanding alright? Let's just talk about it instead of being fucking rude."

I shook my head, "No. You made me feel bad for talking to Marcus who I've never considered like that, whilst you're here texting your ex? And then you lie about it? You're tapped man, just leave me alone. I don't wanna talk, I'm done talking."

"Fine then, I'll do the talking and you listen. She texted me before the game-"
"Why isn't she blocked?" I shrugged, looking at him pointedly.
"I-" he looked at me blankly.
"It ended on bad terms, did it not?" I carried on.

"She texted me before the game saying good luck and so I said thank you 'cause I'm not gonna be fucking rude am I?" he ignored me.
"Well you should be. One, because of everything she did to your brother and two, all the shit she tried to do to you. And, shit, out of respect for me you should've just blanked it."

"Anyway. She spammed my phone saying all this shit about us getting back together, to which I blanked," he looked at me pointedly, "But then she started saying shit about how Jobe was better anyway."
My eyes widened, "No she didn't!"
"That was after my shower and obviously I was going mental, having to make sure she weren't gonna try nothing with him and Marc was bugging me the whole time. Hence the attitude I gave him and only him later on. It weren't aimed at you at all."

"Have you checked in with Jobe?" I asked, anxiety brewing in my stomach as I tried to shrug it off.
"I texted him about it almost straight away, he ain't answered."
I pulled a face, "He was texting me earlier. I'll tell him to look."
"Why you texting him for?"
"He started the conversation but-"
"Why do you have his number?"

"Fucking hell, if you'd let me talk. I left my phone unlocked at some point and he put it in, chill out. I'm not Tiyrah, or maybe for you that's a bad thing huh?"
"Don't be like that."
"You still have her number saved, you didn't bat an eyelid when she wished you good luck, you didn't think about me when texting her back. I've been cheated on before and I ain't letting it happen again so maybe we should take this step back before-"

"I want you and only you Ayodele-"
"All I'm hearing is words. If that were true you would've told me about all of this or nah, you wouldn't of let this happen in the first place. You can't just-"

"I wasn't thinking and it was a dick move, okay? I'll admit that. But don't think for a second that I want her. Or anyone else for that matter. I'm yours and yours only."

Tears brimmed in my eyes as I kept my expression hardened, already mentally comparing myself to a girl who's appearance I weren't even familiar with yet.

"I'm all yours," he repeated, intwining his hand with mine.

I didn't look at him as he carried on saying them empty words, instead zoning out.

"Ayodele?" he sighed when he realised I wasn't listening, "I mean it, I really do okay? I shouldn't have texted her back and I'm sorry that I did-"
"You're only sorry I found out."

"Will you please just listen to me? I had no intention to try speak to her again or to go behind your back or anything, I promise. I just wasn't thinking and I usually get a few messages from people back home on game days and I just say thank you to everyone. I get why it was wrong now. For me, I thought I was just being polite, she obviously took that in a different way."

"Does she know about me?" I asked him, the words almost caught in my throat as I imagined the worst case scenario, what if I never found out? Would he have told me?
He shrugged, "I don't talk to her anymore."

"So when she was saying shit about how you guys should get back together you didn't think of mentioning me?"
He wiped his hands down his face, keeping his breathing steady, "Ayodele-"

"I'd appreciate if you sat over there Jude," I bit my bottom lip to hide its quivering. I wouldn't let him see how much it upset me. I wouldn't let him know I care.
"But I-"
"Please?" I didn't mean for my voice to crack and watched as he looked at me in alarm, sighing and getting up.
He unlocked his phone, tossing it to me before leaving, "You can check if you want. I never said anything else and I wasn't planning on it either."

Part of me didn't want to know, I just wanted to hate him and it be over with but at the same time, I believed him. He wouldn't do that to me, surely? I was more upset he didn't tell me, and obviously that he replied to her. I also would've liked it if he told her to fuck off 'cause he's taken but you can't have everything in life I guess.
If I picked up the phone, it'd prove I didn't trust him and I felt his eyes on me already, watching me closely.

"I know you didn't, I just-" I took a deep breath, blinking a few times to make sure I wouldn't let no tears fall, "I just think a lots happened today and quite literally, I just feel disrespected. I ain't letting people disrespect me. First sign of it and they're gone, cut out, and I never give two fucks about it. Yet I'm over here looking like a dickhead after you're doing it multiple times and I'm letting you get away with it."

"But it's not like that darlin, really it ain't. I promise you," he was sat sideways on the spare seat, legs in the isle as he faced me, "You're mine and I'd be stupid to fumble it."

"If she texts you again what are you doing?" I folded my arms.
He shrugged, "She won't 'cause I'm blocking her."
I tried to hide my smile, "What if she finds a way to contact you, what are you doing?"
"Call her when we fucki-"

"Jude!" I threw his jumper at him, turning around quickly to check Bukayo was asleep.

He laughed, "I'm joking. I'll tell her I got a lady and wouldn't be interested anyway, if she carry on I'll just blank it or block again."
"Hm, alright."
"Is that fine? Reckon first ideas bette-"
"Jude."

He snorted, "Nah but on a real. I'm sorry I upset you, that's the last thing I wanted to do."
"I didn't care," I shrugged, a stupid smile on my face as I knew it were straight bullshit.
"Mhm."

"How much longer til we get back do you reckon?" I asked, looking out the window but being met with darkness.
"I dunno, we can't be far. I think we should spend the rest of it sat next to each other though," he smiled slyly.
"Do you think so?" I rolled my eyes as I laughed, "Come here then."

He got up quickly, collapsing beside me with an arm straight over my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he kissed my forehead.
I nodded, leaning into him, "I'm sorry she's still bugging you. Has Jobe answered yet?"
"No but he's probably just crashed out," he shrugged.
"Living the dream mate."
He laughed, "We'll be back soon love."

I leant on him for the rest of the journey, another half hour until we were pulling into the gates surrounding campus.
I shook him gently as he drifted off playing with my hair.
"Jude we're back."
"Mhm," he yawned, rubbing his eyes.

I leant forwards, shaking Kayo and Phil, "We're here guys, the lights are about to turn on."
As if on queue, all the lights lining both sides of the vehicle switched on, followed by multiple groans of complaint from the players.

Southgate stood up, "Today was a long day gentlemen. I'll move tomorrow's practice to the evening so you can catch up on sleep and rest up. Come on, up, let's go."

"I can lay in with you tomorrow," Jude smiled down at me excitedly as I tried not to smile back, the guy was too cute.

"Or you can sleep in your own bed if you can even remember where it fucking is," Bukayo grumbled, standing to his feet and collecting his bags.

I shoved him, "Shut up. Phil would sleep with you if you asked, you just gotta pluck up the courage."
"Piss off."

———

•

•

•

@d3le_alli the boyfren

comments
@yungphilly: No photo creds???
^@d3le_alli: u only took it to show Kayo when he woke up u snake
^@yungphilly: I have to tell him these things, our relationship wouldn't work otherwise
^@sp3llingmaster: Phil I'm straight.
^@yungphilly: Straight ballin, lend me a fiver
^@sp3llingmaster: Lord give me strength.

@oneandonlyjb: Love you
liked by creator
^@topbellingham: ew
^@jsonroad: She didn't even say it back don't have it
^@d3le_alli: Jadon fuck off
^@oneandonlyjb: Jobe fuck off
^@oneandonlyjb: Jadon we're in the same room she said it out loud
^@jsonroad: Thank you Jude for the explanation. Ayodele, die.
^@d3le_alli: No one likes you
^@jsonroad: Your mum does

^@d3le_alli: u slammed a door on her i don't think so
^@jsonroad: Shit forgot about that
^@jsonroad: Auntie'll forgive me tho
^@sp3llingmaster: She won't
^@d3le_alli: she won't.

@oneandonlyjb: Send me the first two
^@jsonroad: Only the first two? Dele don't be having this
^@oneandonlyjb: I have the other one already you retard
^@d3le_alli: woah guys where's the love? spread kindness
^@jsonroad: Ffs her accounts been hacked
^@d3le_alli: i can't be nice?
^@jsonroad: No
^@oneaneonlyjb: No
^@futbolale03: No
^@sp3llingmaster: No
^@kiangetsbitches: No
^@topbellingham: no
^@jlingzz: No
^@aryan4prezzy: No
^@razzledazzle: No
^@d3le_alli: alright guys i get it

@aryan4prezzy: Dogs are out I feel faint
^@futbolale03: There no dog?
^@aryan4prezzy: Tu no hablar ingles
^@futbolale03: That was horrible
^@aryan4prezzy: Usually I'm bare patient with u but u don't deserve it. Your English is horrible.
^@d3le_alli: don't be beefing my g balde in my own comments
^@aryan4prezzy: Well tell ur g to pattern up and I wouldn't have to
^@d3le_alli: I'll get Jayden on u
^@kiangetsbitches: Too soon Dele too soon
^@aryan4prezzy: Wdym? That pussio don't scare me
^@d3le_alli: 🤣🤣
^@kiangetsbitches: Alr g whatever u say

———

•

@d3le_alli jokeman rlly thought the coat would stop him getting drenched 🥱

also petition for Bukayo to go bald!!!

comments
@sp3llingmaster: No.
^@d3le_alli: you'd pull bare girls
^@sp3llingmaster: I pull enough
^@d3le_alli: boy please.
^@sp3llingmaster: Check ur msgs
^@d3le_alli: OMG WHAT

@topbellingham: dele i feel like you'd suit being bald
^@d3le_alli: u can piss right off
^@jsonroad: Awh