We returned to the arcade room but nobody was in there by now.
"Where'd you think they've gone?" I asked, poking my head into other rooms.
Bukayo shrugged, "Dunno. They might be chilling near the entrance where all them sofas are."
I nodded, remembering the way as I was sat there earlier and sure enough everyone was there.

Mount, Grealish and Foden were on one sofa, arguing with each other for taking up too much space. Jesse and Marcus were laying on the floor playing rock, paper, scissors. Sterling, James and Walker were on another sofa, Madison and Shaw on the one beside them. The rest of the guys were scattered around the room, all doing their own thing. I couldn't see Jude anywhere.

I tapped Marcus' leg with my shoe, not looking at him as I continued to search for my friend, "You seen Jude about?"
I heard him laugh and finally looked at him, "What?"
"Have you lipsed him yet?" he asked, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Wait what? Who are we talking about?" Jesse interrupted, whispering loudly.
"Who do you think?" Rashford nudged him.
"Ohhhh!" he nodded, "Jude?"
"No I haven't lipsed him and I won't be lipsing him anytime soon. Can you just answer the question? Do you know where he's gone?"

The pair sensed my concern and stopped joking about.
"He had a phone call and went out about ten minutes ago. He'll be back soon just chill with us," Marc suggested, patting the floor beside him.
I looked around the room one last time and saw Kayo nodding at me encouragingly which made me laugh before sitting down.

"Do you know what I'm craving right now?" Jesse put his hand on his stomach, sighing as me and Marcus shared a look.
"What mate?"

"Pizza. Like a stuffed crust, loaded pizza. Pineapples and all," he grinned just thinking about it whilst I gagged.
"Pineapple on pizza? I knew there was a reason I didn't speak to you guys," I shook my head in mock disappointment whilst Marc looked at me in disbelief.
"Don't include me with him and his weird ways!"

Jesse's mouth dropped open, "Did you really just snake me like that for a girl?"
He started to get flustered, "What? No. I didn't do it for her, I just have to let everyone know that you're the weird one, I just put up with it."
Jesse smirked, "Mhm."

"You guys waffle so much," I laughed, getting up, "I'm gonna go for a walk, see you in a bit."
"Safe," Jess spudded me whilst Marcus looked at me in surprise.
"Are you alright? Do you want me to come with you?"
"Stop begging it man!" Jesse shoved him and I left them to scrap, shaking my head as I walked out trying not to laugh.

The campus was big, surrounded by fields and astro, tennis courts and pools. It had everything. I went out the main entrance, feeling the cold British air on my arms as I wondered around. I spotted a basketball court and headed over.

I pulled open the gate, about to grab a basketball off the rack when I saw somebody leaning with their face up against the wall in their hands. They kicked the wall in frustration before wincing and holding their foot.
That caused me to laugh, making them turn around and my eyes were met with familiar watery ones, "Jude? Are you okay?"

He relaxed once he realised it was me, walking over and catching me by surprise as he embraced me, his arms over my shoulders and mine around his back. We stayed like that for a while, I wanted to ask what was going on but it seemed like he just needed the comfort right now. He balanced his chin on my head for a moment before pulling away and wiping his eyes, "Sorry."

I laughed, "Don't be silly, it's fine. Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he nodded, now wiping his nose as he tried to recompose himself.
"Do you want to go back insi-"
"No! No, I'm gonna stay here for a bit," he sat with his back against the netting that enclosed the court. I followed suit, sitting beside him, "You don't have to stay with me."

I suddenly felt embarrassed, "Oh yeah, right. I'll see you later then I guess."

He grabbed my arm as I went to stand up, "I'm not asking you to go but you looked cold, you've got goosebumps."

I laughed at his concern, "I'm fine. If you want to be alone for a bit that's okay."
"No I don't want to be. I just-" he covered his face with his hands as I felt my own concern growing, "I just feel so pathetic man."

I was never good at comforting people, usually I'd freeze up and get awkward. I'm more focused on trying to find a solution to the problem but sometimes that's not what people want. Sometimes they just want someone to listen or to tell them things will be alright but I was never good at that. My parents didn't have time for me growing up, I only had myself or Bukayo for comfort. Everyone always says I'm just jealous of Kayo and it's not that deep, I'm just blaming my parents but even the little things can fuck a person up for life. I was sat here with my new friend, not knowing what the fuck to do.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I suggested after a few seconds of silence.
He took a deep breath, "I was going out with this girl called Tiyrah. She would always get annoyed that I was busy with football but I warned her of it before we got into a relationship. She told everyone that I was cheating on her, that I hit her and a bunch of other shit. Luckily it died down before the media could catch on but everyone at home knows about it."

He paused to wipe at his eyes again, "Anyway she tried to give me an ultimatum, football or her. I chose football and that's why she told everyone that. Turns out that wasn't the reason, she did it because she felt guilty and wanted to cover it up by painting me to be the bad person. Do you know why she felt guilty Dele?"

I shook my head, "Because she made you choose between football or her?"
He laughed dryly, "No she didn't care about that. She was pressing onto my little brother. My own brother man, what the fuck? It never got into anything but apparently she was trying to force him into shit and stuff as well. I don't even feel upset about her, I don't give two fucks. But my little brother? I just feel angry. Angry that she tried it and angry that he felt too scared to tell me about it. What kind of brother am I if he's scared to tell me things?"
His voice cracked as I took all the information in.

"Stop it, it isn't your fault. I know you're a good brother, you talk about him all the time. So much it put me to sleep," I laughed lightly, "It isn't your fault Jude."
"But what if I paid more attention to her and then she wouldn't of been trying to get that attention in other places? What if I had been at the house more so I could catch it happening? What if-"

"Jude stop. It is not your fault. If we all played the what if game, we'd all be depressed fuckers. There's nothing you could've done and there's no point in stressing about it because you can't change what's already happened. You can give me her addy if you want though and we can change her face?" I suggested to which he laughed.

"I love you man. Take it in whatever way you want. I don't think I've ever got on with someone so easily. I don't know how the fuck I just told you all that, fucking cried in front of you and I've known you a bit over a day," he laughed again and I leant my head onto his shoulder.

"Bukayo and I were having this talk earlier, weirdly enough," he looked at me, telling me to go on, "About how I actually gave you a chance and wasn't a bitch like I usually am."
"Well I'm glad you did," He placed an arm over my shoulder as we both laughed. "I still don't get why everyone says all this shit about you, it's really starting to piss me off."

"I'll be real with you, most of it's true. Maybe I'm changing, I don't know. But you'll probably understand in a day or two," I chuckled dryly.
"But I won't understand, I don't want to understand. You're perfectly fine, what the fuck am I gonna find out in the next couple of days that changes my whole opinion on you?" he looked stressed, his eyes searching me for an answer.

I took in a shaky breath. What's the worst that could happen?
"I'm addicted to weed, I've done heroin twice. I've been kicked out of school, kicked out my house. That's why I'm here."

There was a few moments of silence so I went to get up and go but he stopped me, "Okay. What made you try drugs in the first place?"
I hugged him, catching him by surprise before he returned it. Nobody ever asks about that side of the addiction. Nobody ever cares. Everyone is so quick to label and judge you which then ends up with you having your guard up 24/7, then also leading everyone to call you a bitch. But he cared. Jude cared.

He rubbed my back as I kept my arms around his side and my head on his shoulder, "I'm listening Dele."
"I don't want to go into details, I just-" I took in a sharp breath, "I didn't get much attention growing up due to Bukayo being Bukayo and I just lost sight of what mattered. I dropped my A*'s to D's, I fell in with the wrong crowd, my parents were constantly arguing at home. I was bullied for my weight, my skin colour, my hair. I stopped caring about everything and using them was the one time I'd feel something other than anger. It was my little escape, I never meant to get addicted. I never meant to cause as much trouble as I did."

I didn't notice a tear had fell until he wiped it, causing me to laugh, "Shit. I didn't mean for this to turn into some depression session."
He didn't laugh with me, he just looked at me with concern.

"Please don't feel sorry for me. Don't try encourage me to quit, it won't work and I don't need your pity," I said trying to read his expression to know what he was thinking.

"So last night... Did I really smell weed?" he asked hesitantly.

I thought for a moment, wondering whether I should tell him or not. If it got out then I'd be kicked out and Bukayo would be in trouble for it.

But Jude wouldn't tell anyone.

I nodded slowly and he swallowed, "I need time to think."
He got up walking slowly over to the gate whilst I stared at his back in disbelief. What the fuck?

Why did I tell him? Why did I tell him anything?