I was waiting for thedoctorscat to make this book, but I'm impatient so I'll do it myself right in this chapter:
You know you live in Perth when...

It can be 15 degrees one day and then 40 degrees three days later.
You do not understand the concept of rain.
Stupid drivers nearly kill you on a daily basis.
You don't consider Fremantle a separate city, because it's literally five minutes away.
People north and south of the river have a constant rivalry.
You hate/love the word TransPerth.
Bushfires aren't cool.
The sun is up for 13 hours in summer.

That's all I could think of children, I'll see you next chapter.