"I know it's little early and you don't even know me well but I want to try. But I want to know you better and for that, we've to spend time more together than just these little cafe meetings. So, would you like to come with me for dinner ? You can even bring Roo I'd you want. I would actually like to know you both better. So what do you say ? Would you come with me on dinner ? It would even be ok if you don't want to. I would totally understand as we are complete strangers basically and have just- "

His voice gets cut down but my voice which I hear says "No. I'm really sorry and it's not you. The reason's not you. You're nothing but kind and such a sweetheart but I apologise, I've to say no." My voice was mechanical. I didn't even think before I spoke that.  Scratch it, I was surprised I spoke that. I hadn't even thought.

I don't want him to develop more feelings for me. It's already there, I don't want to encourage him.

Though reason is something else only. Someone else. Someone, I've not yet able to forget and let go of.

He looks at me for a minute, looking  for something. Don't know wether he finds it or not, he nods his head twice, for, as if having internal talk and agreeing and then with his easy smile, he says, I'm sure with heavy heart, "It's ok darling. I did know the chances were pretty slim for a epitome of beauty like you against me. It's ok. But I hope we can be friends. I don't want things awkward between us. I really don't want to stop drinking coffee from here. It's really delicious. So, friends ?"

I smile appologetically at him amd reply, "Sure. I would also not like to loose my regular customer. It's bad for business you know. Roo would agree to that even. Right roo ?"

I and him both chuckle.

I realise Roo is silent all this while. I look at her and she's in her own world. I nudge her and she comes back to us. 

She raises her brows and asks, "Ah yess. Where were we ?"

I narrow my eyes at her and ask seriously, "What was the last thing you heard before you left us for your own world roohi ?"

Her eyes look at me and then goes to Rohan and again at me and atlast lands at her hands which are crossed.

"The last thing I heard was you saying no and then you both making up. Being friends. I sure have no problem but I think I would love to talk to you Divu. Please excuse us Rohan. Do wait if you can for us to come back." She doesn't even look at him while saying to him and pulls me inside. I give a apologetic smile to him.

She's like she's on a mission. Something related to me. I'm sure.

I got dragged inside our cabin and she, my lord, was burning holes in me. I swear if she had that superpower, I would had thousands of holes in me. All thanks to her.

I keep my questioning gaze on her, my face for sure showing confusion even. She just glares at me, arms crossed. Her face was little tilted as if she was contemplating or deciding something.

She finally brokes the silence to stab a thorn deeper in my heart, "You're not agreeing to date him because of Dev right ?"

I don't even have to answer it. She knows it.

So she continues, "Why don't you try to move on Divu? He's gone for good. He's not gonna come back. You have to move on. You can't be alone your whole life alone. I sure will be with you every step you take but it will not be the same. Do you want to be alone when you age up on you ? You don't want to live your love fantasies you have ? Paragliding with your partner while I'll will be with mine and we'll be on some island. Divu, you have to move on. He's gone but you have your life ahead. Please, don't hold yourself back. Live your life to fullest. Even he would want the same for you. Give Rohan a chance Divu. He's a nice boy. Just a chance."

She pleads to me more with her eyes but I stay silent, digesting all the info dumped on me.

I unconsciously start to bit my lips, a habit I'd developed in last few years.

She doesn't understand as I do. She's not in my shoes, she didn't fall in love. They both would bicker almost all the time. But I loved him.

I loved him. He was my life. He was it for me. I'd visualised our whole life, how we both have busy office times but at night, we would be cuddled up together and eat dinner while watching something on TV, we would go on midnight swims, early morning treks, giving surprise gifts and puzzles to each other, thousands dates to go on till our hair turn grey and our body slowly starts to give up on us. But we both would be together till the very end, snuggled close to each other, littles me's and him's running around us, handsome, caring and bickering like their father and passionate and lovely like their mother. Even when death comes at our door, we would like and gladly leave with it as we had our moments, we had great love between us, lovely children, making the process of turning dead a beautiful journey and we would be leaving with no regrets as our motive was to live with each other till we die and live a happy life together.

But life had vicious plans for us. It separated us at the very beginning when we had spend very little time with each other, not much moments to survive in this vicious world alone. I'd visualised every moment of our life together, every succes step, highlighting moments to be shared, but all those were snatched from us brutally, without any remorse. The worst part is the the reason behind it. It's disgustingly nauseating.

But Roo won't understand all this. She wasn't in my place. She didn't fall in love unconditionally. She didn't face the downfall of one's death like I did. She didn't go through the depression after his death. I did. And how I pulled out of it and how it still has a powerful grasp on me is something I hate with passion. I hate how at the mention of his name and death, I'm all muddled. I freeze. A another monstrous depressed part of me is awaken, the one who wants to destroy everything, wether it be me or the one in front of me. It's out for destruction, it's out for vegenance, it's out for crying over the love it lost. For getting a chance to love him once again, with more time.

I come out of my reverie and just shake my head at Roo. "No."

She looks at me with exasperated expression like she doesn't understand why I'm doing this.

And she won't.
I know it.

A calm look takes place on her face but it still is shadowed by worry and anger or despair or probably desparation for something or something akin to this. She places her hands on my arms which are wrapped around my stomach. "Divu, I'm not telling you to move on from this very moment. I know it's not gonna happen like this. It's a process.  But I'm just telling- no requesting you to just go on dinner with him as a friend to know more about. It will be start. Just a friendly dinner. And you can even tell him to keep no expectations from you and grow no hope. It's just a friendly dinner. Don't you wanna go on a 'friendly dinner' ? She weights on those two words for my sake.

I look at her with pointed look, contemplating to go with her plan or not. A friendly dinner as she says.

She continues as she sees me contemplating, "I promise if you don't want to, I'll take with him. It would be just a friendly dinner, where we would meet and talk and know each other better. What do you say, do you wanna make a new friend other than me ?" A playful smirk on her face.

I smirk at her and say, "I was assured and promised thst I'ld find no one else like you. Does that mean I found a substitute for you ? A another potential best friend?"

She narrows her eyes down at me with fire in her eyes, lips in tight smile, "I assure you my friend, you would find no one like me. But what about this new friend? Give him a chance na. I'm having a feeling, he will understand. You should make new friends and get out of your little bubble life you've build yourself."

"Little bubble life ?" I question with confusion lacing my voice.

"Yes. A little bubble where you live alone by yourself, where you make yourself think you alone are goodbye yourself. You allow no one else to enter in. You have just let me entered, and my family. Tell me, do you have any other friends ? Actual friends except me ? No right. That's what I mean. Let someone else come, expand your bubble Divu."

Hmm.. she has point. After his death, I've stopped socialising and even dumped my friends. It was just me, my pain, my grief, and Roo.

I think for few moments and decide, "Fine. I'm going with Rohan on a friendly dinner. A friendly dinner."

"Confirm with him sweet muffins. I know." She smirks at me and after winking, she leaves. Probably to meet Rohan who is probably still waiting.

I take some deep breaths to calm my racing heart.

I've to move on.
Just a bit if not more.
Atleast try.

I go to main area and see Rohan and Roo talking, laughing every now and then.

As they see me, they both smile at me and Rohan says hi again. I reply him back but then stay quiet.

The air is awkward between us.

Roo nudges me and points her eyes towards Rohan, reminding me I've something to say.

I take a breathe and start, "Uhh.. Rohan. Do you still want to go on dinner with me ?" After a pause, I continue "But, it would be just two friends coming for dinner and knowing each other. I'm still not ready for the actual dating."

I don't know why I'm so nervous that I'm biting my tongue inside my mouth.

His face lights up immediately as he registers what I said and starts rambling, "Oh yes. Sure." He clears his throat and say again in cool composed voice, "Oh yes. Sure. I'ld love to. Just two friends knowing each other better. So umm, Friday works for you ? Or you have some plans. We can keep it on any other day even. As you're free. Whenever you want. It's up to you."

I smile at him with warmth and reply, "You even have equal right to set a time and day. And yes, Friday night works for me. We can set it of it works for you even."

"Great. Huh by the way, do you want to come Roo, with us ?" He asks Roo sincerely.

I feel like he's doing that for me. As he knows, I'm uncomfortable with the whole setting.

Roo just smiles a bit guilty at him and says apologetically, "Umm.. I won't be able to join you guys. But you guys enjoy without me. Kakab k bich ki hadi nahi ban na mujhe. Enjoy your both without me. Just don't miss me much. " She winks at last.

Rohan eyes me, "Will you miss her ? I don't think I'll will or I will even let you. What do you think ?"

I act as if I'm thinking and then say, "Um. No. I don't think I'll miss you Roo. Nope."

She glares at us with her mom pose.

I turn to look at Rohan and after few seconds of looking at each other and then at Roo, we all start laughing.

After few minutes, we stop laughing.

He smiles his signature boyish smile and nods his head. "It's Friday then. See you then. I'll share you place and time later on."

"Ya. Ok." I don't know what to speak. And he seems to be in his world only as he dreamily looks at me.

Suddenly, he smiles so hard head tipped back, eyes pinched shut, shaking his head. "I can't believe you agreed. I'll see you Friday Divya. Till then, take care. Bye." His eyes kept twinkling as he walks back, his eyes still on me, him, still smiling.

"Bye. You even take care." I say at last as he goes.

I got reminded of srk seeing him.

He's out and I turn to look at Roo and see her smiling like crazy already. I feel my cheeks burning. I look away from her and I hear her laugh.

I blush more.

.
.

Time: 10 pm

Roo had teased me whole day and I kept blushing like an idiot everytime.

I lie on bed, thoughts running loose. Sometimes, I feel guilty for giving him chance. I feel like I'm betraying D's (Dev) love. Our love. But then, my mind counter arguments that it's just an friendly dinner with my new friend. I'd cleared air with him and he was still happy to take me on dinner.

I'm conflicted. Big time.

I'm mesmerised in my thoughts when I hear notification came.

I open my phone, thinking Rohan messaged me the details for our date. No. Dinner. It's just an friendly dinner with him !!

But as I see the message, I sit up from bed, not believing my eyes.

The fuck !

*******

Who do you think messaged and what that has her reacting like that

Another problem ? Complication ?

Stay tuned to find out...

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