Hold My Hand Harder, Ease My Mind

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I wrapped the large white bath towel around my body and secured it by tucking in the corner. I reached for the spare, smaller towel Brandon had left me and wrapped it around my hair in a makeshift hair wrap. My fingers reached for the door handle of the en suite, which led out into his bedroom. We had briefly debated about which shower I should use. I'd protested that I would happily use the main bathrooms shower, but Brandon insisted I used his personal one, claiming the shower had 'better water pressure' and I'd feel more relaxed. His bedroom was much larger than mine, with what seemed to be a king size bed occupying the middle of the room. His bedroom was very minimalist; with everything being dark greys and blacks, and silver accessories. All that inhabited the room was a large bed, two bedside tables and a cupboard which held various framed photos, a couple of awards and other possessions. His clothes and accessories were located in a walk-in wardrobe that was situated next door. I knew this because he had pointed it out to me when he gave me a tour of the place. The idea of having a room dedicated to clothes, shoes and accessories seemed otherworldly to me. The focal point of this room was the wall of windows that overlooked the Vegas strip. Those neon lights alone could light up the room. My eyes looked back to the bed, where a single bedside table lamp helped to illuminate the room. On the bed was a t-shirt, some sweat pants and a pair of boxers. My eyes skimmed over the print on the t-shirt. It seemed to be a moon made up of different coloured circles. It was detailed yet simple, I liked it. The boxers were plain black Calvin Kleins. My heart soared at the gesture of him laying out his clothes for me to wear, even if it was just a t-shirt and pants. I slipped the items on and laughed at the fitting. The boxers fitted me well, however the t-shirt and joggers did not. The shirt hung loose, and the joggers barely stayed up. I looked like a child playing dress up. I knew Brandon was surely going to laugh at the site of me, so I went on a mission to find him.

The smell of food instantly hit me as I walked out into the hallway, though I wasn't able to identify the cuisine. The sound of Brandon singing in the kitchen caught my attention immediately. I had realised that up until that point, I had never heard him sing.

"I know she's gonna stay implanted, in my mind, why does she keep me hanging..."

"On the line." I finished, instantly recognising the hit from one of my favourite bands.

"Your taste in music is impeccable." Brandon praised me from over his shoulder. "I ordered takeaway. Hope you're hungry."

"Yeah, I am a little. Brandon, look at me." I posed, eagerly waiting to see what he made of my outfit. He span around on his heel to face me, with a proud smile plastered on his face.

"Oh my gosh!" His laugh echoed from his stomach, it was so boyish and carefree. "You look so cute." He closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me.

"I like this shirt, I might have to steal it." I enclosed an arm around his torso and enjoyed the feeling of having him close to me. He smelt so good. I would never get over how good he smelt. "I can only partly hug you because if I let go of your joggers, they will fall down."

"That's a Killers shirt you're wearing. I'm sorry, I don't think I have anything smaller for you to wear." Without hesitation, I let go of the waistband of his joggers and let them drop to the floor, revealing his boxers.

"Sorry, but there is just no point." I wickedly grinned at him before I leant down to scoop up the material. Brandon's eyes widened at the sight of me and that ignited the fire within me.

"Gosh, it's doing all sorts to me seeing you in my merch. And my boxers." He held me at arms length. My body started to tingle as Brandon's eyes scanned me from head to toe. I noticed that his eyes stared a little longer in the area of my breasts, the only place where the shirt fitted me well. I wasn't sporting a bra as I didn't come in anything but my workout clothes, and they were folded up in his bathroom. His eyes had darkened by the time he looked back at my face.

"I think I look like I'm playing dress up. Although," I lifted the shirt to reveal the fit of the boxers. "These are ridiculously comfortable."

"Fuck, you're killing me here." He groaned into his knuckle as his teeth clamped down onto his skin. My desire for Brandon had been pretty consistent since the day I met him, but something about the way he looked at me in that moment made me want to jump on him and have my way with him. I decided to try my luck.

"Well, I'm glad you think I look OK." Keeping the material bunched up, I turned slightly to showcase my ass in his boxers. The expression on his face let me know it had worked. Within seconds, his hands were pushing me against the kitchen island as he brought his lips down to mine. The way his lips attacked mine was evidence of his desire for me and I too took it upon myself to allow my feelings to be known. My tongue brushed his bottom lip, urging him to open up and let me in. He wasted no time, and soon our tongues with dancing together. I felt Brandon hook his hands under my ass as he lifted me onto the counter top. I wrapped my legs around Brandon's waist and pulled him closer to me.

"Fuck, stop Naomi." I felt lost as Brandon suddenly pulled away. "I'm sorry. I really wanna take you to my bedroom and fuck you. But I want to wait. Please. I want to make it special. I know I haven't asked you to be my girlfriend yet. And I want to show you that you aren't just some fuck to me. I wanna be serious with you." He rubbed his nose against mine. I wanted to argue that I didn't need anything special from him and that everything we had was all I wanted. But there seemed to be something more to this for Brandon, and knowing it meant something to him, I didn't challenge him.

"You know, I don't need the special treatment. I don't need the big gestures, I just need you." My arms wrapped around his shoulders as he nuzzled his face into my neck. He seemed to suddenly turn shy and vulnerable, and I felt the need to comfort him.

"I know but," He brought his head back to stare at me. "I've never felt this way about anyone, ever. And from the minute I saw you, I had this gut feeling you know." His mouth popped open like he was about to say something more, but he stopped himself. I brought my hand up to his cheek to rub the slight stubble that was forming over his face.

"I had that feeling, too. You make my heart hurt, in a good way. I feel like I'm dreaming." My fingers moved from the prickly hairs of his cheeks to the soft curls of his head. I smiled, watching his eyes close at my touch.

"I hope I make your heart hurt, in a good way, every day, for the rest of my life." I agreed to his statement by planting a kiss on his soft lips.

"I hope I get to kiss these lips every day for the rest of my life." It wasn't a lie, he gave the best kisses.

"Oh you get all my kisses, baby!" He winked at me. In that moment, I felt I'd died in his arms. He was everything. "But we should eat. I ordered pizza, some meat feast one. I got some wings, some fries. I just didn't know what you'd fancy."

"You, I fancy you." I bit my lip. His eyes darkened at me in a seductively aggressive way. "Just because I agree to not go all the way with you just yet, doesn't mean I'll agree to behave." I hoped off the counter and rounded the island to where the foods were lying, waiting to be eaten.

"Naomi Jones, you are so bad."
......................................................................

"I actually can't eat anymore." I placed my hands on my full stomach. We were sat on the floor of his living room, watching rubbish TV whilst engaging in small talk and stuffing our faces.

"Pass me that last slice of pizza then!" Brandon's long fingers gestured to me. I was surprised at how much this guy could pack away.

"How are you still eating?"

"You'd be surprised. I eat like a truck driver." His teeth sank into the pizza vigorously.

"How do you still look that good though? I've eaten a couple slices of pizza and a few fries and I look pregnant." My hands cradled my food baby.

"I like to exercise. It's how I justify how much and what I eat." I watched a string of cheese fall onto his chin. His eyes were fixated on the TV but mine were fixated on the motion of his thumb scooping up the cheese and sucking it into his mouth. Why was I jealous of cheese?

"I exercise too, but you still look better!"

"What can I say? You're looking at the man!" He winked at me, the cheekiness of the gesture made him irresistible. My eyes danced around the room, when something on the wall caught my eye. The TV was the only thing to illuminate the room, so I had to stand up to get a closer look of the art on the wall.

"Brandon, is this a canvas of the Vegas strip?" My eyes darted over the fine brush strokes.

"Haha yeah, I loved it the moment I saw it. It was from some independent gallery in France. It reminded me of home."

"So you have a painting of the Las Vegas strip on your wall, right next to the open view of the actual Las Vegas strip?" He replied with a high pitched childish laugh that made me swoon. Sometimes, this man was the hottest guy to ever grace this earth and oozed sex appeal. Other times, he was so boyish and cute that my hurt and I felt I needed to cherish him. It was a killer concoction - no pun intended. I walked over to the side where my phone was lying. I had a couple of text messages; one from a my friend from a previous job, asking if I could babysit for her in a couple of weeks. I quickly typed out a response confirming I could, seeing as I was currently jobless. Another was from Sophie asking if I'd want to go out for lunch with her next week. Again, I confirmed the plans.

"You wanna watch a movie?" Brandon called from the living area.

"Yeah, sure. You can decide." I tiptoed back to where he was sat and joined him on the sofa. The soft cushions we welcomed on my tired limbs and I already knew I would fall asleep before the film would finish. I watched as he leant behind me and pulled a cream throw from of the back of the sofa. He positioned himself so he was almost lying on the sofa, but gave me enough space to lie down next to him and cuddle into his side. He threw the blanket over us and picked up the remote.

"Moulin Rouge it is then." The excitement in his face was infectious. As the film titles started, I couldn't help but recall the events of today. Whilst I still felt I had overreacted earlier, I was scared for my safety. The way Brandon had dropped everything to come to me was too much to comprehend. I'd never once thought that Brandon was using me for his own pleasure, but the actions from today made me realise how much he cared for me and suddenly I needed to show him just how much. I sprung up and grabbed his face so quickly he didn't even have time to react. My lips were attacking him in short, passionate kisses. I poured my emotions into the kisses in hopes he would understand how I felt. Maybe time stopped when his lips met mine, but the flutter only intensified. I could only focus on how soft he felt against my mouth, how addictively he invaded all my senses. His hands were cradling my head as his lips attacked mine, all the while our bodies rubbed against each other hungrily.

"Babe, baby stop." I felt his lips part from mine and his hot breath on my face as he gasped for air. "I'm sorry, I don't want to keep breaking this up, but if I don't, I won't be able to stop myself from taking this further."

"I'm sorry." The realisation of what I just did made me feel embarrassed and I wanted to curl up and hide. I scurried to the other end of the sofa and brought my knees up to my chest. My emotions were running high and I could feel the tears burning in my eyes.

"Naomi, baby. Hey, what's wrong?" He crawled along the cushions to me and used his long fingers to try and pull my knees towards him. Not wanting to be touched, I resisted his touch and pulled away. "Naomi, don't. What's wrong?"

"I just feel..." I couldn't finish my sentence before the tears started to flow. I burried my head in my hands, not wanting Brandon to see me like this.

"Naomi, come here. Please. Let me comfort you." The gentle tone of his voice made the tears stream down my face. He was an actual angel. I leant forward and wrapped my arms around him, my face was soaking his neck with my tears. I felt his hands rub up and down my back soothing, whilst his lips kept planting soft kisses on the side of my head. "Talk to me. Was it me? Cos I asked you to stop?"

"God no!" I pulled back and looked at his face. His brows were knitted together as he stared back me, whilst his eyes looked lost and helpless. "I just feel a bit overwhelmed after today. And, well I've never doubted you at all. I've never doubted what you feel for me because you've never gave me reason to. But the fact I called tonight and you came running, and you were there and you kept me safe. It just, it made me realise that you actually like me. And that idea seems so crazy to me because you are legitimately the most perfect human on the planet." His lips were still flushed from our makeout session when they twisted into the sweetest smile.

"I'm glad you never doubted me. Really. That makes me so happy. But I like, I really like you. It scares me sometimes how quickly you've consumed me. I'm just asking for a little time to get used to feeling this way. But just know I'd come running, anytime. Always."

"I can give you a little time. How about we stop kissing until you ask me to be your girlfriend?"

"Ah, I don't like that. The kisses are good, I like the kisses."

"No, Brandon. I'm making a decision for the both of us. Until you're ready and you ask me to be your girlfriend, we won't kiss."

"What about forehead kisses?"

"Acceptable. But not often. Only when deserved."

"Can I get one last kiss before we start this pact?"

"Just one." I watched as he slowly tilted his head and leant forward, capturing me in a sweet kiss. His lips were soft and gentle, and his kisses were tender. My heart fluttered in sync with the rhythm of our lips. He pulled away and stared at my lips for a few seconds before he spoke again. "Had to make the last one, for now, count."

"That was probably the best kiss I've ever had in my life." I bit down on my lip, feeling the blood rush to my mouth.

"Don't bite your lip," He broke my lip away from my teeth, "It was mine, too." The tip of his tongue peeked from the gap in his lips, the gesture that drove me wild.

"If I can't bite my lip, you can't stick your tongue out. It's only fair."

"I didn't realise I did that, but fully noted." He saluted me and ran his hand through his hair. Large curls bounced through his fingertips, leaving his hair looking undone and messy. There was something charming about the undone, casual Brandon that made my heart burst. His long fingers signalled to lie next to him and I wasted no time snuggling into him and settling down to watch the film.
.....................................................................

My eyes flickered opened to see the darken room. My head was resting on Brandon's chest, the motion of his breathing made my head bob up and down. I gently tipped my head up to see his face. His lashes were fanned across his cheeks, his think pink lips were parted and soft snores escaped. He looked so peaceful. My throat felt dry, and I knew I wasn't going to sleep unless I grabbed a drink of water. I peeled myself away from him and tiptoed out of the room. From what I could remember, I needed to take a left out of the hallway which would lead me to the open living area and kitchen. Trying to be as light on my feet as possible, I slowly made my way to the kitchen. I opened a couple of cupboards before finding the one that housed the glasses. I filled the glass up and allowed the cool water to sooth my dried throat. The room was illuminated by the bright lights of Vegas that flickered through the windows. With the glass still in my hand, I made my way over to large windows and allowed my eyes to dance over the sights. Here, in the middle of the dry, lonely desert, stood Sin City, full of light and life. The beautiful contrast. Whilst I was up here in the apartment of the worlds most beautiful man, who I still couldn't believe was interested in me, thousands of people were rolling the dice, showing their cards, living their Vegas dreams. I'd been both the wanderer, roaming the strip and thriving off the buzz of the City. And the person who admired it from the comfort of my apartment. When I first moved here, I thought I'd made the biggest mistake and missed England. But now, especially in moments like this, it was the best decision I'd ever made.

"Everything OK?" Brandon's sleepy voice called from behind me and broke me from my thoughts.

"Gosh, you scared me." My hand had involuntarily moved to my throat. I shuffled on my feet to face him, and wasn't prepared for what I saw. His hair stuck up in various directions. His eyes which were usually bright and full of life, were squinting at me and my ignited backdrop. Sleepy Brandon had cut through to the core of me and I felt an overwhelming amount of love for him. Brandon lifted his hand to his face, where his fingers rubbed away at the fatigue in his eyes. A simple gesture that melted me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I needed to get a drink of water, if that's OK?"

"Naomi, you can take whatever you like. Help yourself. And you didn't wake me. Although I woke up and you weren't there." His bare feet slapped at the wooden flooring as he strode over to me. The way his t-shirt hung lose over his torso was endearing yet I silently begged for it to be tighter. Or none existent.

"It's a beautiful view, isn't it?" My eyes were back to the scenes of Vegas below us, and I felt Brandon brush against me as he joined me at the window.

"Yeah, and the strip doesn't look bad either." He bashed me with his elbow lightly.

"My god, Brandon. You are so cheesy sometimes. Let's get you back to bed." I moved to dispose of my glass when Brandon's elbow pulled me back. I watched as his eyes scanned my face with urgency. His lips puckered as he started the journey towards my mouth when I placed my hand in between my face and his lips. "Nu-uh, Mr Flowers. No kissing, remember?"

"Fuck that rule." He pulled his face away from my hand and dipped it closer to my face, only to be denied again. "Naomi, stop!" He giggled.

"Nope. Rules are rules. No kissing."

"Just give me a kiss."

"Nope. Come on, let's go to bed." I ordered, but he pulled me back. He almost growled at my words.

"Give me a kiss and I'll go to bed."

"Nope."

"Just give me a kiss." I watched as he purposely brought the tip of his tongue to the front of his mouth, knowing it drove me wild.

"Tease me all you want, Brandon. Two can play at that game." This time I pulled out of his grip and walked over to the sink where I placed my empty glass. Brandon was still stood by the window, watching me intently. Without hesitation, I slowly bent over the kitchen island, allowing my ass to stick out. I flicked my hair over my shoulder and looked back at him seductively, allowing my teeth to find my bottom lip. "See?"

Brandon lunged across the room towards me, and I managed to dodge him just

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