What have I done?
I feel the regret flooding me as soon as I wake up.
Maybe last night was all just a dream, maybe Clyde dropped me off and left...right?
Wrong.
I open my eyes and immediately my eyes land on the arm wrapped around me.
I had sex with Clyde.
Great sex.
So there shouldn't be a problem here, except for the fact that he's my ex. I had great amazing sex with my ex.
God I sound like such an idiot.
I don't know what came over me last night, but between thinking Zona was going to die, then thinking the baby was going to die, then being stuck in a delivery room...which by the way isn't that big of a place to be trapped in for six hours with your ex, then when Zona told us the baby's name, it just all threw me over the cliff.
I needed something to make me not feel anything.
I needed sex.
So I got it, just not from the person I should have.
Why couldn't I have just gone to a bar and found someone like a normal person?
Why out of all the men in this world did I have to choose Clyde Bark?
I don't know, but what I do know is I need to get out from underneath his grasp.
I carefully slide out from beneath him and then I tiptoe out the door and into the kitchen to make coffee.
Thank god no one else is home to know what I did.
"Morning."
I jump back in fear of an intruder.
Fuck.
Wrong again.
I am not home alone because Chloe is standing right in front of me in her pj's.
"What are you doing here? And when did you get here?"
Maybe she didn't get in till this morning, right?
Chloe smirks at me as she slips past me filling a cup of coffee for herself and sitting at the island.
"Well, my Mom had an old friend invite her to go with her on a last minute girls trip so she told me not to come. As for when I got here, I got here around one in the morning..."
I wince.
Wrong again.
She definitely knows.
I wasn't quiet last night because I thought I had the house all to myself.
Oh how wrong I was.
"Is Connor here?"
She nods slowly as she takes a sip of coffee before speaking again.
"Yes, he's out like a light. Don't worry when we got here he was sound asleep in my arms, he never heard a thing...me however, well I wish I could say the same."
I let out a sigh and shook my head.
"I'm sorry, I thought since Zona was at the hospital and you were in Greece by then that I could be as loud as I pleased...clearly I thought wrong."
Chloe looks at me with panic in her eyes.
"Oh shit. Sorry, Zona had the baby last night...Keller Wane Ginger. They're both ok, Aunt Nina stayed the night and I was feeling too many things so I decided sex was my fix."
Chloe smiles and squeezes my hand.
"That's great, so I take it hearing the baby named after your Dad was a lot?"
I nod just as I hear footsteps. I freeze.
Shit.
She may know I had sex last night, but the one thing she doesn't know is whom I had sex with. And I'd like to keep it that way, I'm not very proud of this moment.
"Oooh, do I get to meet the lucky guy?"
I shake my head as I head towards the steps.
"Nope, he was just a one time thing..."
I rush away from the kitchen and run right into a very sexy, very naked Clyde.
"Up. Now."
He raises a brow but does as I say and I slam my door behind us.
"Chloe's home. Long story, but you have to leave now...and you can't go out the front door she'll see you."
Clyde looks at me and I almost think I see a flash of hurt in his eyes.
"What?"
He looks down at the floor and shakes his head looking back up at me.
"Nothing, I'll get dressed and use the back door."
I nod and begin to head for my door.
"Kelsea."
I turn to him and raise a brow.
"What?"
He looks at the floor and back up at me and he does this for a few seconds before finally landing his eyes on mine.
"You're wearing my shirt."
I look down and sure enough I am in fact wearing his shirt.
I take it off and hand it to him, but some part of me feels a little hurt that his shirt is all he was needing.
I thought maybe, just maybe...but that was stupid.
"Thanks for last night..."
I don't wait for a response. I slip on my t-shirt and head back towards the kitchen.
"So, how's the mystery man?"
I roll my eyes before responding.
"Fine, but he's in a hurry so he's just gonna head out..."
I keep my fingers crossed that she doesn't ask more and luckily she doesn't.
I hear the back door click open and then click shut.
Chloe eyes me over her coffee mug before glancing at the clock and turning back to me.
"So, you think it's time for visiting hours yet?"
I nod and get ready to head to the hospital.
Thirty minutes later I'm sitting beside Zona holding Conner in my lap while Chloe holds Keller when there's a tap on the door.
I should have known he would come here.
He just cut this baby's cord last night, of course he'd come.
"Come in!"
I want to tell Zona she should say nevermind and then make him leave but I don't.
I turn my eyes away from the door and look at Chloe.
"I'm gonna take Conner on a little stroll ok?"
Chloe looks at me suspiciously but shrugs it off and nods.
"Ok, maybe get him some jello or something."
I nod and put Conner in his stroller. I brush past him on the way out. He looks down at me but quickly averts his gaze to the baby and I rush out the door so fast I trip over the door stopper.
"Woah...you ok?"
I don't want to look at him.
Of all the people to catch me from falling.
Of course it had to be Clyde.
Of course.
"I'm fine, you can let me go."
I know I sound like a complete bitch right now but I don't really care. He lets me go and I continue pushing the stroller through the hospital trying to get the images of last night out of my mind.
I walk around the hospital for twenty minutes but no matter how long or how far I walk I can't get him out of my head. I just want him out of my mind, is that too much to ask for?!
Why can't I stop thinking about him...just because he's good in bed doesn't mean I need to think about him 24/7. I already know he can't do relationships and I can't do casual flings so I'm just gonna have to get him out of my head.
Jesus.
What have I done to myself?
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