A knock on my door caused me to open my eyes and groan. "Lylah, breakfast!" Mrs. Bloom's voice beamed through my door.

I heard her walk away and I pulled the covers pack over my face. I couldn't believe I slept that whole time and was still tired. I was glad no one woke me up to eat dinner last night, or maybe I just didn't hear them. My door was still locked, but I was sure Mrs. Bloom had a key to every room. I wasn't hungry. I never was, anymore. Of course I would eat here and there, but I mostly pushed away the food. I just felt sick every time I looked at it. Part of me felt I didn't deserve food, either. People who killed their families didn't deserve anything.

Another knock on my door caused me to push the covers away from me and get off my bed. I slowly made my way towards the door, unlocked it, then opened it. Kevin was standing right in front of me. "Hey, you need to eat! Mrs. Bloom let you off last night because she figured you were really tired, but now you have to. You're so tiny anyway! Come on!" He laughed, then started skipping down the hall.

I sighed and shut my door. Walking over to my dresser, I picked out some white shorts that I held up with a black studded belt and a black tank top. I brushed my hair in front of the mirror and then exited my room. My bare feet tapped along the cold floor as I made my way to the kitchen. I only found where it was because of the smell. I hadn't been given a proper tour yet, but I was sure I would know where everything was soon enough. As I turned the corner, I scanned the room. There was a large brown rectangular table with white plastic plates filled with eggs, toast, and bacon set up at each chair. Kyra and Kevin were sitting on one side, Johnny on the other. Mrs. Bloom had taken her seat at the end while Tom at the other end. The empty spot was mine, next to Johnny. I walked slowly over to chair and took my seat. A smile spread across Mrs. Bloom's face as she clapped her hands together. "Alright everyone, dig in!" She said.

I watched everyone pick up their forks and start eating while I just sat there. I saw Kyra glance up and raise an eyebrow. "What, is this too scummy for you miss princess?" She asked.

"Kyra!" I heard Tom say as he shook his head.

Kyra huffed and continued eating her food. I bit down on my lip and looked down. The food looked wonderful, and it was what I usually ate for breakfast, so it was in no way too scummy for me. I had no idea where Kyra got that idea. I could see Mrs. Bloom glancing at me through the corner of my eye. I knew she was wondering why I wasn't eating. I needed to either dig in, or speak up.

I chose the latter. "I'm sorry, I just don't feel good." I said and stood up.

I quickly rushed out of the kitchen and into my room, shutting the door behind me. I could hear soft footsteps, so I quickly locked the door. Just then I heard a knock. "Lylah, can I please come in?" It was Tom.

I sighed and unlocked the door, then opened it enough so he could walk in. He went to the ledge by my window and sat down, then motioned for me to sit next to him. I nodded my head and took a seat, making sure not to look at him. "Hey, don't pay too much attention to Kyra. She's always like this when new people come in. And you didn't eat dinner last night, and now you're skipping breakfast, mind telling me why?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. I knew the reason but I didn't want to say it. I heard him sigh and he rested his hand on my shoulder. "Lylah, everyone is the same when they come in here. Lost, confused, angry, upset. We all understand. When I was a year younger than you my dad died of lung cancer, and then my mom killed herself. I blamed myself for a very long time, but then I came here. It's hard at first Lylah, but I promise it'll get easier." He told me, and wrapped me in a hug.

I hugged him back, small tears coming out of my eyes. When he released, he patted my shoulder then exited my room. After shutting the door, I covered my face with my hands and continued crying. I felt so selfish.

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I ran to my best friend as she ran towards me. Engulfing her in a giant hug, we twirled in circles and laughed. I missed her so much. We had never gone a day without seeing each other, but we had just taken a three day break. I was so glad she was here with me now. Linking our arms together, I led her to the house and brought her inside. I had already mentioned to Johnny about Chelsea coming, and he said it was fine if she knew. I told her last night on the phone, and man was she shocked.

I quickly showed her my room, which she gaped in awe at. She loved the magnificent colors and the way everything was organized. I laughed as she plopped herself down on my bed and groaned. "Lylah I am stealing your bed!" She said and laughed.

After the tour of my room, we changed into our bathing suits and made our way to the backyard. She turned towards me and frowned. "When I come back again, or you come to visit me, I am buying you ten big macs." She said. I couldn't help but laugh at her statement.

I had managed to eat one meal at the house so far. The others I just sat a the table awkwardly. Kyra would always make a small insult or scoff, but I ignored it most of the time. I didn't care what she thought. I couldn't eat and it wasn't any of her business. I even told Chelsea on the phone about her, and she called her a bitch, which made me laugh.

Dropping our towels on the chairs on the deck, we walked closer to the pool. "You first." I said.

"Nah, you first!"

"No you!"

Just then I felt Chelsea's hand grabbed mine and she jumped in, forcing me to follow right behind her. The water collided with my feet and I went all the way under. When I resurfaced, I pushed my hair away from my eyes and splashed Chelsea. "You suck!" I played, and giggled.

We spent about an hour in the pool, then laid down on the chairs to dry our bodies. "So how are you holding up, Lylah?" I heard her ask in a small voice.

I shrugged and looked up at the sky. It was mostly clear with a few white clouds. "Alright I guess." Was all I said.

I never liked talking about my feelings. Chelsea was my best friend though, and I felt really bad lying to her and keeping things secret. I had always told her everything, and her the same way. We knew mostly everything about each other, but now I was becoming this closed up person. I didn't want her to know I was in pain because I didn't want her to feel bad for me. I also didn't want to put too much on her. I knew I could rely on Chelsea with anything, but now I just wanted to have fun with my best friend. I didn't want to talk about my feelings.

Chelsea left a few hours after that. Our hug lasted about five short minutes, but I never wanted to let her go. When she released the hug she stared into my eyes. "Remember Lylah, I love you. I'm here for you no matter what, okay?" I nodded my head, and we hugged again.

I stood there and watched her walk over to her mom's car. I saw Tammy wave to me, so I waved back and offered a smile. After they drove off, I turned around and made my way into the house. I could see Kyra standing in the living room with her arms crossed, glaring at me. I walked a little closer, confused. "What's wrong?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes and took a few steps closer. "So you're best friend comes here all giddy and shit and you become this happy go lucky girl. But before she came you were this little pouty depressed kid treating everyone like they were below you!" She shouted.

I was taken back by her words. "What are you talking about, Kyra? You're the one who's the depressed little kid fucking tormenting people! The first day I got here you treated me like I was garbage. You have issues." I said and shook my head.

"At least I didn't kill my family, you sick bitch." And with that, she walked away.

I stood there frozen. Her words replayed over and over in my head. I knew I did it, I knew it was my fault, but to hear it from another person made me feel even worse. I wanted to scream.

Bolting out the front door, I ran to the backyard and near the woods. I found the path Johnny showed me, turned left at the fork, and made my way to the clearing. Picking up some small logs, I chucked them at the trees. Screams escaped my lips. I was so angry. Not at Kyra, but at myself. Tears were strolling down my face as I continued to find anything I could and throw it. I felt like I could punch someone. I walked over to one of the trees and slammed my fists into it over and over. I could feel blood trickle down my knuckles and onto my arms, but I didn't care.

After a few minutes I started getting tired, and my knuckles had taken quite a beating so I sat down on one of the logs near the creek and balled into my hands. I was so stupid. I didn't  belong here, I didn't belong anywhere. I should be dead. I should be in hell while my parents and siblings consumed their days with fun activities and great meals. I didn't blame God anymore, I blamed myself. God was probably so angry with me. He probably hated me.

Hours went on as I sat on the log. The small chill started giving me goose bumps, and the sun was quickly going down. I didn't want to go back to the house. I wondered if anyone of them were looking for me, or if Kyra told them what happened. They probably didn't care. I had intruded on their little family. They were all so close, and then there was me. The troubled girl who caused all the problems. Staying where I was would be good for them. They'd be happy.

I stood up and made my way next to a tree. After sitting down, I leaned my back against it and stared  up at the stars. It was so relaxing. The night sky and the slow moving sound of the creek filled my ears and calmed my nerves. I stared down at my blood stained hands and sighed. They were throbbing with pain, but I didn't care. I closed my eyes and focused on the sounds around me, eventually falling asleep.