Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story.

A/N This is the last chapter in this little story. I hope you like it. Here we go!
Is noon and I'm sitting in my usual park bench enjoying some of the Los Angeles’ sunshine. I breathe the air around me and get lost in my mind as I contemplate the two greatest and most perfect loves in this world.

Ten years have passed since we graduated high school; it seems like yesterday.
I still remember everything that Jade and I went through that last year in Hollywood Arts, when we started our relationship, when I finally came out of the closet and also, the first time I got help for my self-esteem problems.

I'm not going to lie; it was the most difficult thing I've gone through. After that talk with Jade at the viewpoint that morning, things got way worse before they got better.
My family was all over me all the time, of course, they were scared I would hurt myself, but the intensity got the best of me.

Jade sometimes would take my side and other times she would shift to theirs, it was exhausting. This probably lasted around six months of constant therapy and arguments; all of the sudden I was graduating and everything had changed.

I don't know exactly how it happened, but my parents started trusting me more and giving me back my freedom. I'm sure Jade had much to do with that, her conviction and support gave me strength to continue, it made me happy and my parents noticed. Eventually, she became someone very dear to my family.

I remember once, my father came and asked about her because we were so busy studying for finals she hadn't shown up for days. He was worried we had broken up and he sat by my side on my bed and told me that he loved her very much and he hoped everything was okay between us.

Although Jade wanted to deny it, she developed a close relationship with my parents and sister, that made me feel safe. I had something very similar with her Mom, her father always had reservations with me. We both learned to interact with each other's families and for the first time, I began to believe I could have everything that a heterosexual couple has, no limits or questions. Everything felt absolutely normal.

Jade and I had a perfect relationship for the rest of the school year, we became allies, we helped each other in Sikowitz's plays, sang together in concerts at the Asphalt Café and dreamed about our future. From one moment to another, it was time to think about University, and we knew we would have a long and difficult road to walk. Jade went to one of the best Universities in the country, to study Creative Writing and Cinematography NY. Her dream always was to become a great writer and producer. She also got, right away, a role in a Broadway musical.

I, in the other hand, I got a record deal and stayed in Los Angeles. I toured with both of my albums for three years before I could settle down again.

I wonder where Jade is now, we broke up about a year after graduating. Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult. She would get so jealous and we would end up fighting every time we picked up the phone or had a video chat. In the end, even if we loved each other as much as we did, we had to let each other go, because the pressure and the pain was turning into hate and I wouldn't have been able to deal with Jade hating me.

It was a summer day and I was starting to get ready lo leave on tour, I was excited but torn by what it would mean for our relationship. I wouldn't have time to call her as much as before, to make dates in the evenings and see each other at least on a computer screen, she would further hesitate over us, of who was with me and why.

I didn’t want to do it and it took me several days to decide to call her and ask how she felt about it. I always convinced myself that it was still worth it, that in due time things would get better and it was only a matter of time to be together again. But nothing improved and the distance increasingly affected us.
When I finally reached out to her, we realized that everything had changed too much, we couldn't keep on trying and force something that just wasn't working anymore.

The nostalgia wrapped the moment with memories that ran through my mind like flashes that I couldn't and wouldn't let go. I asked her to give me a little time to process it before making it definitive, but I knew that it was the end; we had broken up. The next day I texted her:

Me: Hi :(
Jade: Hi, how are you feeling about what we spoke yesterday?
Me: I think you already have another ex.
Jade: Yeah, I think so.

And that was it, I excused myself because I was boarding a plane and that was the end of us. Not another call, we never crossed a word again. We simply disappeared from our each other's lives.
It's sad to think that something that was so important to you, that you cherished with your life, was over with a text message in a matter of seconds.

That moment will always be one of the worst memories I have of us. The indifference of it all, the lack of pain that I felt the days, weeks and even months after that, reinforced in me the idea that there was nothing left to fight for. It was the right choice at the time.

Touring was extremely tiring and demanding. I had no time to do anything that wasn't work related. I distanced myself from my friends and my family; I didn't even have time to come home for the holidays, and so, time passed, three years in total.

I saw my family growing through social media, Trina happy with her new boyfriend, that I hardly got to know through a video call one night, he would later become her husband. I couldn't even take time to go to their wedding; the tour was everything, the promotions, interviews and social events had me fed up.
There were always the same questions, the same rumors, whether or not I was the dating the current leading man, things that our respective managers made up to get us on the covers of gossip magazines.
I couldn't take a walk down the street without being chased by a paparazzi mob, analyzing my every move, to make false news and earn money that I came to regard as unclean and unworthy.

The only times when I found peace, were at closed doors in my current cold hotel room. My best friends, the mini bar bottles, that truth be told, nobody cared if I drank being underage. Everything was permissible as long as my image was perfect the moment I took one step outside the hotel.

I always thanked the fans. However, they began to become a nuisance. They wrote anything in my social sites, from insults to racy comments; many of them sent innocent gifts, but a few even sent me lingerie intending to be mentioned. I never did, my contact was generalized to avoid those fans that thought they had a personal relationship with me, and then arrived at the hotel demanding to be cared for, being my close friends and all. People who I didn't even know their real names.

Everyone told me that it will pass, that the time will come where I could relax and put my rules on the table, that every professional singer goes through this, the early years are only sacrifice but then the rewards come. Meanwhile I lost my identity, not knowing who I was without my family and friends, I was lost in my solitude, in a dark and empty hotel room or a dressing room full of people whose aim was to find a way to get something from me.

I became depressed to the point of ending the tour abruptly four months earlier; I changed my manager and broke my contract with the label. It took months to reach an agreement but I was finally free to go home and get help.

It was pointless though; I’ve gotten so low there was so little anyone could do. It was then, that all the thoughts of Jade arose and I regretted ever breaking up. All the 'what ifs' filled my head with uncertainty. Years have passed and I didn't even know what became of her and my mind collapsed.

One night I decided to search the Internet, I had always resisted doing so, I looked for any excuse to shut the computer off; I didn't want to know from her, I didn't want to know if she was happy without me.

I found her in several articles of Broadway premieres and some of her personal projects. Finally I saw her in a picture with her new friends celebrating at a restaurant. She looked so good, so happy; this was exactly why I never looked for her.

Repentance became my new owner, sadness invaded me completely, I had lost everything, nothing was worth it. I took an entire bottle of sleeping pills that night, but right before they had any damaging effect I ran to the bathroom and threw them all up. I still had to go to the hospital and stay there until I got better and was released. It was one of the scariest nights of my life.

My new manager took care of diverting attention from my intoxication and created a story about a stomach flu that everyone accepted without doubt. The perfect Victoria Vega couldn't have made such a decision.

What saved me that night? A letter that Jade gave me on our last Valentine's Day together. She was in NY working on her play and I couldn't travel to meet her. But the words she wrote stayed with me, and that night they brought me back.

The Letter

Tori my love,

Today I realized something that has been bothering me for quite a while.

See, I discovered what is this pain on my butt! And no, it's not you, it's this stupid arrow Cupid shot at me the day I met your eyes and knew I was in love with you.

Joking aside Babe, I have to say that these past year and some months have been the happiest of my life. No matter how hard things have been, I know you and me are meant for each other, and whatever life throws at us we will overcome anything and be happy in the end.

Tori, I want you to know that your life, for me, is precious and without it, this world makes no sense at all. I see how hard you try everyday to be the happy Tori we all know, but you don't have to pretend with me, I'll love you no matter what and will always be here for you, even if it seems I'm not.

Read this and you will find me, let my words reach you and breath, remember my voice as I say I love you because those words are only for you, my love.

Remember that no matter how far it seems we are, we are on the same path and even if we get lost we will find each other.

So don't stop trying, wait for me, come back to me every time you feel like letting go, because somewhere out there, I'm thinking of you.

Happy Valentine's Day my Sweet Sally Peaches!

You have no idea how much I love you,
Jade.

—

Soon after that Trina gave birth to my niece Emma. I was twenty-two and she was the most wonderful gift. I left my house for the first time in weeks, and yeah, I mean weeks. I got to the hospital and Trina was already giving birth.

She got some complications so Emma was placed right away on an incubator. My parents and I went to the gallery and stared at her, everyone was taking pictures and congratulating Mark, Trina's husband. I just stared at Emma.

She was so little, so defenseless, she cried and cried. Her tiny legs sprang out looking for Trina's belly and when she couldn't find anything to touch she would cry her eyes out until she tried reaching again. Emma cried for an hour looking for Trina as if her life depended on it, after all that time her body had drifted down and finally her feet touched the wall of the incubator and she stopped crying. I sighed as I watched her fall asleep and right then I promised myself I would never ever give Emma a reason to think it's okay to take your own life. I would never be that example, she was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen and she was going to be okay, I was going to be there for her, always.

After that, I picked myself up and got real help.

It wasn't easy, to adapt your mind to stop thinking about death as the only recourse, takes time. It is a daily effort and has its good days and its days worse than bad. But when I felt that I was giving up I visited Trina and played with Emma, I watched her smiling, crawling around the house, I gazed her while she was sleeping and when she tried to eat by herself and ended with all the pap in the head.

She pulled me out of my negative thoughts, coming up with her smiles and filled me with her drool when she gave me kisses. I didn't mind at all, she was my princess and everything she did gave me more reasons to live. Gradually things changed, I felt freer and happier each time.

The therapist agreed that I was the best version of me that he had ever seen, and I felt like I was given a second chance to make something off my life.

I enrolled in College and studied Music Production and Cinematography. There is where I meet my future wife Ana. I was on I high when I meet her, everything was going perfect for me, I was so happy and felt so good, it was easy to let people in, but Anna did more than that. She already had three years studying her career, however I was older by two. Anna was the teacher's assistant of my Film Writing and Music Composition classes, and thanks to this we ended up working together on several independent projects.

The first time we spoke, she came asking for fire to light her cigarette. I said I had none, that it actually grossed me out. It wasn't true, but I didn't want her to think that she could seduce me in such an easy and common way. At that moment she broke the cigarette in two and said: "I'll never touch one with my lips again if that prevents me from tasting yours," and left. I was surprised that after that line she didn't stay to finish her alleged conquest.

It took several days for her to find the courage to talk to me again. I don't know why she was so intimidated, she had a reputation of being very outgoing and a little philandering, however, it was hard for her to approach me with complete freedom.

When she finally dared to ask me out, she fooled me completely. She organized a pretend trip for a class project, all students had to participate and travel to Palm Springs to meet a producer, who would give us the necessary guidelines to make a soundtrack for a documentary.

She offered to take me in her car instead of traveling with everyone else in the class. She was a good companion all the way, told me stories of her ex-girlfriends trying to make me jealous, she didn't succeed, which simply heightened her interest and she let me know.

When we reached the hotel, she requested a room for both of us. Yeah, it only had one bed and allegedly was the last room available. We went to eat and walk around a bit and I was wondering why we still hadn't met the rest of the team.

After midnight I knew that she had played with me and all she wanted was a weekend completely alone. I liked her, Anna was really beautiful and her big green eyes, pale skin, red orange hair and freckles drove me insane. So I let it happen, I wasn't interested at all in playing games, we were already there, why not enjoy it.

I think that, what won me over was her ability to live without worries, her sense of adventure and her motivation at work. I never felt more alive than when we were together. She was so different from me, daring and unpredictable.

We had a short relationship before we got married; it wasn't even a year since we started dating. We unexpectedly traveled to England and got lost in the city, it was raining and romance was in the air. We went to The London Eye and when we were on top, Anna took me from behind the waist, hugging me and whispering in my ear:

"Marry me."

The timing was perfect, I was lost in a feeling of euphoria, I saw the world at my feet, literally, I felt safe and immediately accepted. I should've known it wouldn't be the best idea ever.

Anna and I didn't really talked about things we wanted out of our marriage. My parents knew very little about her and never fully accepted her. I knew much less of her family. Living together was more of a challenge, she was very immature and hoped that I behaved in the same way.

One day, coming back from a commitment with Trina and Mark. Anna wanted to go dancing, but I had already promised to take care of Emma for the rest of the weekend. She would get so annoyed every time I did that, she didn't want to listen to Emma cry or having to watch a children's movie or than a baby could take all of my attention away from her.

While Mark and Trina drove us in their car, we talked about family. Anna made a dismissive comment about kids and we had a horrible argument when we got home. I decided to tell her that one day I wanted to have my own children and that that was something I wouldn't give away and at that moment everything changed. Anna didn't want a family outside the both of us, she didn't want kids and it turned out to be a deal breaker. She was never going to change her mind and she started looking in other people what we had lost in our relationship.

I didn't want to keep appearances and stay with her in a broken marriage. I filed for divorce soon after I found her with her latest conquest right on my bed, and yeah it was MY bed because we had signed a prenup and it was my house, my manager's brilliant idea; I'll remind myself to send her another gift, I do it every time I remember this unfortunate event.

I gave myself a year to heal from everything.

Despite how bad things ended with Anna, I didn't relapse in my depression. I think I realized that we were never really in love enough to be together for the rest of our lives, and the separation stopped bothering me.

The idea of having a family only intensified at that time. I used to come to the park to think, to see the kids play and I was always left with a sense of longing that stayed with me for weeks.

One day, talking with Mom and Trina I understood that I didn't need a partner in order to have a child, it would be hard, but I was financially stable thanks to my career and my work, which at that time allowed me live peacefully; if needed emotional support I had my family. Mom and Dad couldn't be happier and supported me from the beginning, Trina accompanied me to several appointments I had with the fertility doctor and I began the search for the perfect donor. It took me months to find the right one, but it was worth it.

I see my girl playing in this park on this sunny morning and I realize that all the choices I have made since I decided to bring her into this world, have been the right ones and my life is almost complete.

Now, I am a music and score producer for several major TV shows. I also write songs for other artists and have released two independent albums, which gave me the liberty of staying at home and be with my daughter.

I see my little girl from this bench, the same in which I always sit on to remember my life while I watch her running and laughing with Emma. I sat on this bench with Jade when we dreamed about our future together, here is where we made so many promises. This was my refuge when we argued and she came to reconcile.

I feel her close to me when I am here and I'm embraced by melancholy, I feel safe.

I take a deep breath and remember her scent, that one that mixed with the smell of the freshly cut grass and the humidity of the air.

I miss her everyday, I think of her all the time. If only I could see her again, know what became of her, if she is happy and got all she wanted out of life. I miss her; I