-When you think about it, we know more about our friends than we know about our own parents

-When teachers pull the "I'm an adult and I can do what I want" card, it's perfectly fine. But when a student claims they should have rights, it's "disrespectful"

-Ham is sort of just thick bacon

-What would happen if I decided to make a different decision years ago? Would I still be where I am today?

-"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral