. . . . .

THE RELENTLESS pulse of the music reverberated through the room, thumping in time with my racing heart. It was like a living entity, making the very floor beneath my feet vibrate with its energy as I stepped into the dimly lit space.

As expected, it seemed that even before the school year had officially begun, the parties were in full swing, and I was going to go to every single one.

I took a moment to let it all sink in, the partygoers gyrating to the rhythm, the flashing neon lights creating a kaleidoscope of colors. It was a world away from where I had grown up — I never stepped foot into a party back in Chicago, but then my whole life changed for the worse, and parties were all I knew of.

Girls in shimmering dresses and guys in nothing but lousy shirts and trousers — such as myself — all moved with an air of carefree abandon around me, laughter and canned alcohol flowing freely.

Los Angeles was certainly a far cry from the quiet and predictable existence I'd left behind, and this was what I exactly needed. I needed to relax. I needed to let loose. This had been all I had been dreaming of ever since I moved here. At first, the idea of moving to a completely new place was revolting, but I was starting to grow fond. The city never slept, and if it did, I most certainly wasn't.

As I navigated through the sea of people, I couldn't help but be aware of the curious glances directed my way. It was evident that my arrival hadn't gone unnoticed.

A few bold girls made their way towards me, their flirtatious laughter filling the air.

I took a breath in.

Here we go, Theo.

One of them, a vivacious redhead, introduced herself with a sultry smile. "Hey there, Theo. I heard you're new in town."

I returned her smile, amused by her forwardness. "Yeah. I just got here a few days ago." It was apparent my arrival to Los Angeles didn't come in secret.

I widened my shoulders and let a puff of air slip through my mouth as I raised my head to scan the kitchen for Marcus or even Josh.

Since meeting them they had been nothing but nice to me, it was sickly. I wasn't used to the genuine smiles or actual laughter that echoed around us all. I was surprised that inside Los Angeles, pure, genuine happiness was real. Everywhere I looked, ever since we landed at the airport of our new home, I saw several men and women caked in over-the-top makeup and their lips injected to look like ducks.

Even now, scanning around me, some people were trying to be somebody they weren't, and honestly, it made me feel like myself. The number of times I had checked myself over in the mirror more than usual, styled my hair in certain ways and bought the most expensive pieces of clothing just because I didn't think anybody would want to be around me.

I cared way too much, and it was sucking the life out of me each and every way it could.

The red-haired giggled which brought me back to reality; Her eyes sparkled with intrigue. "News travels fast around here. Especially when the guy is so handsome."

With that, she stepped back, her hand extending out for mine. "Why don't I show you a good time, Theo?"

Without a second thought, I agreed to her invitation, and the other two girls followed behind, their laughter filling my surroundings.

For the next couple of hours, music hitting the surface of every room, wall, floor, and body, I had lost myself in all the alcohol. It felt good to just let loose sometimes. It was exactly what I came here for tonight— and my new friends, I suppose. Wherever they were.

Marcus seemed cool, along with his girlfriend Laura, whom I had been informed have been dating for a couple of years now. I had no idea how they could withstand such a long period spent together, but I congratulated them. For their courage and certainly patience.

Turning my head to get a good look around, I caught sight of Marcus' blonde hair and peered closer to see a group of people sitting hanging around the pool. They were clustered together all talking like they knew each other for years and years, and in a way they have. I was told, by Stephanie, of all people, that they had been distant friends for a couple of years before becoming one big friend group.

Swirling my beer can around, one girl clutched herself to my side, and if I wasn't so zonked out right now, I'd know better to shove her off and leave before things got too complicated. But at this rate, I could barely muster up a sensible thought— a responsible thought that didn't consist of letting out some steam.

Hiccuping, I tipped my head back and drank the last of my beer, before tossing it aside and grabbing another. Then one girl — whose name had slipped my mind the moment she told me — was wrapped around my arm whilst another was speaking to me. At least I think she was, her mouth was moving, and incoherent words piling out her mouth, going into one ear of mine and then out of the other.

"You smell good. What is that?" The girl, who was wrapped around my arm, asked, and I wanted nothing more than to flick her off but that'd be a negative start to my senior year at Chester High School; It wasn't an unknown secret to know my father didn't want anything to happen. Again.

"Dior, probably," I popped open the new can of beer and brought it to my lips. Fuck, the taste was so good.

When the clocks hit ten I couldn't take the fake laughter nor the excessive touching any longer so I plowed my way through the crowd and outside, where the immediate smell of tobacco hit my nostrils. I could hear the echoes of the girl's voices behind up until I closed the door and woke over to my friends, my body slightly swaying from the aftermath of several beers and whatever those girls were giving me.

"Hey, look! It's Theo, everyone!" Marcus shouted, his can of beer raised in the air as he started to get up.

"Don't get up for me," I said, sitting beside him. I took off my sneakers and fresh white socks and dipped my feet into the warm water below, just like the others. Some people were in the pool, splashing about and shouting, however, neither of them was Stephanie.

I hadn't seen her for a good few days, but that didn't seem to bother me. After all, we both knew why we were both involved with one another.

"Want a beer? Cider?" Marcus asked, his question pulling me free from my thoughts. I rolled the Rolex watch around on my wrist to see that my father wanted me back before eleven. So if I left now I could make it back in time.

But since when did I listen to him?

"A cider, please. I've drunk too much beer tonight." I said, grasping the tall can of pineapple cider from Marcus's hand. I popped open the van and took a sip, of the same adrenaline. the same burning feeling transporting down my throat and warming up my stomach. I should probably eat something.

"Where have you been, Willis? We couldn't find you." Josh asked, his voice echoing as he leaned forward, his eyes watery and pupils dilated.

Laura giggled into Marcus' side as he whispered what I could only presume was something sensual. "I've been inside."

Josh nodded, crunching an empty van in his hand before tossing it to the side. Marcus stuck up his middle finger and then pointed to the tossed can. "You better pick that up. My Mom would kill me if she knew about tonight. Don't want to find shit on the floor."

Josh raised his hands in surrender before picking it up and pushing himself up, his hands stabilizing him on the ground before he dragged his slushed-out self to the dustbin.

"So," Marcus turned, "Chester High School has a football team. You seem fit enough, why don't you try out?"

I sucked my cheeks in and exhaled.

That'd be something my father would like. Something that could settle me in, however not so quietly. But high school football wasn't anything like the NFL, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

"I was a quarterback in my last school."

With that, the heads of various people shot up before Marcus playfully slapped me on the back.

"Tall, witty, and sporty." He winked and I ducked my head, staring aimlessly down at my cider. Thank goodness for my tanned skin otherwise, I'd be blushing for everyone to see— and I wasn't someone who took compliments very well.

Just as I opened my mouth to respond, voices from behind caught my attention.

"Please don't cry." A guy said.

It sounded almost like a plea.

"Do you still love me?" A girl shrieked, her voice sounding torn.

I shot a glance over my shoulder but the light wasn't depicting the people just yet, however the voices sounded slightly familiar.

"You never gave a shit about me! Now you repay me by telling me you're—" Then the voice dipped, cut short. Almost like they were stopped.

Marcus and Laura shared a curious glance, and then out of nowhere, Josh appeared out from the darkened area none of us could see in.

"Holy shit did you hear that?" He laughed, his footsteps seeming even less coordinated.

"Is that another one of your exes?" Bryce, who was submerged in the pool, asked.

Josh waved his hand dismissively and then sat down on the ground once again. There was no thought behind those eyes.

"I'm single and ready to mingle."

Bryce snickered, "I think that's a safe bet. You know what you're like with women."

"I always have them coming up to me asking why you decided to ghost them out of nowhere." Marcus piped in, Laura snaking her arms around his waist.

They were so in love — which everyone could see — and it was disgusting. I didn't understand love. I didn't understand the concept and never will. I had never been in love with someone.

Yes, I had tried a few relationships in the past, but never ones that were serious or meant something to me deeply in my heart. They were just there to help me discover myself— and I discovered, after everything that went down, that serious relationships where you had to share your feelings and sickly emotions, were not for me.

I couldn't look around this place for one second without howling like some dog or winked at, or stared at.

I know I was blessed with good genes — I was Theodore Adam Willis after all — but not one of these girls did I feel any pull towards.

I would die alone, and I'd be happy to do so.

A thud of Josh's body against the floor as he conked out for the night shook me from my wandering thoughts, and for the next couple of hours of partying into the night, I had gotten to know my new friends a lot better.

Maybe things were going to be okay?

Looking up at the blanket of nothing but black sky and silver shining stars, one in particular twinkled. My heart quaked.

"Are you coming with us, man? I ordered a load of pizza." Marcus had his hand gestured out for me to take, and I did. After a couple of seconds of coming back to my real self.

We wandered back into the house, and from over the top I could see those girls who had latched themselves into another poor fella. But he seemed to be enjoying it.

The several stacks of pizzas Marcus ordered were displayed out on the large grey marble countertop, the smell of fresh warm food wafting into my nose. My stomach rumbled and I knew that if I didn't grab some now, there'd be none left.

The room was clustered with hormonal, hangry, and drunk teenagers. Give pizza boxes weren't going to cut it.

I grabbed myself a good amount of food and we headed back out to the yard to eat it. Josh had soon woken up, stuffing his face with pizza before heading inside for thirds.

When I finished up with my food I was dying for a cigarette. But I couldn't remember if I had any spare.

My hands rummaged for the packet but the pockets were empty. Fuck.

"What're you stressing out about?" Laura asked, finishing up her pizza. Her eyes were dark, almost so dark that you couldn't see your reflection in.

"Would Marcus have any cigarettes? I ran out."

She shook her head and swallowed her mouthful. "He quit a few years back. But I have a couple in my handbag. It's in the under cupboard. You can take one if you want."

"I owe you." I stood up with haste, and she giggled.

"Don't be silly. It's only a cigarette."

I jogged back into the house and got one of the cigarettes from her handbag, before stepping outside on the porch to take it.

The immediate flow of energy pulsed through my veins and I leaned my head back against the wall. There was a warm breeze sweeping my face, and dragging through my hair.

Ember continuously dropped to the ground before I disposed of it and took in a bitter inhale. It was so peaceful out here, minus the singing and dancing from many who were out here with me.

Just as I was about to go in, a girl with dark hair — which at first glance made me think it was Stephanie — wandered over to me, her dark, lust-filled gaze meeting mine in an instant. I felt my body swell and my head goes fuzzy with the inhale and exhale of smoke.

"I'm Liz."

Then the rest was history.

A/N: