Trigger warning: very brief mention of self harm near the end of the chapter. It doesn't actually happen, don't worry.

——————

y/n's POV

"Not that you aren't adorable or anything, but is this reversible?" I asked Lloyd, who still had the back of my shirt between his teeth.

He tried saying something, but once again, it came out as a roar.

"Hey! No talking with your mouth full!" I scolded. "Now put me down!"

He let go of the fabric and I tumbled onto the ground. I looked over at Lilith and Eda, who seemed to be a pretty even match. A few minutes passed, however, and it became clear that Eda was the stronger witch.

Lloyd made a sound so I turned around.

"What?" I asked.

He thrashed his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"I think he wants to go back to being human," Ripple suggested as Lloyd started stamping around in circles.

"Well, duh," I said. "If he was happy in this state, he would have attacked Lilith by now instead of throwing a temper tantrum. How is he supposed to transform back?"

"I don't know! But you should probably try to calm him down before he hurts himself."

"Okay," I said nervously, taking a step forward. "Hey, Lloyd? Can you hear me?"

He stopped moving at looked at me.

"I know you're not used to being a dragon, but you don't have to be afraid," I said. "We're going to figure this out together."

I began walking towards him slowly, and reached my hand out. He pushed his head into my palm gently, and after a few seconds, he transformed back to his regular self.

He looked down at himself. "Well, that was a lot easier than I anticipated."

I laughed and threw my arms around him. "Thank goodness you're okay!"

"Hmm," Ripple muttered. "It seems to be that your form reflects your emotions."

"Uh... what?" Lloyd questioned.

"You got angry, and you turned into a dragon. Y/n calmed you down, so you're back to normal."

"Like the Hulk," I said with a giggle.

"That's not funny!"

"Hey, weirdos! Stop laughing and get over here!" Eda called.

I immediately shut my mouth and followed Lloyd towards the duel. He started fighting back with his powers, but before I could find a weapon to use, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a puddle. My miraculous was glinting.

"Huh, that's odd," I said. "That normally only happens when Paris needs me... but Hawkmoth's been defeated, hasn't he?"

"That's not how it works," Ripple said. "It calls you to that realm when a person in Paris needs you—it doesn't have to be because of an akuma attack."

"Why would anyone need me?" I wondered, scratching my head.

"Y/n!" Lloyd yelled.

"Coming, coming!" I called, picking up a big stick. I stared at it in dismay. "Sometimes I really wish that my elemental power wasn't so useless."

"Yeah," Ripple agreed. "Then you wouldn't have to resort to using tree branches as weapons."

"Here!" Lloyd said, throwing a tiny black object to me. I reached for it, but embarrassingly enough, I missed, and had to go retrieve it from the ground. Once I had it in my hand, I realized what it was; Adrien's ring.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked.

"Use the cat-attack thing!"

"Uh... what?"

"You know, the word that Catboy yells and then he can destroy stuff?"

"You mean cataclysm?"

"That's what I said!"

I scoffed, but I slipped the ring on my finger. After a few seconds, however, I realized there was a slight problem.

"Um, where's Plagg?" I wondered, turning around in a circle.

"We must have left him behind at the Eiffel Tower before we went to Darkley's," Ripple shrugged. "Maybe he flew back to Adrien."

"Great," I muttered sarcastically.

"You still have me!" Ripple said with a huff. "In case you've forgotten, I can transform you, too!"

"Right! It's been a while since I've been Dauphine Bleue," I said. "Ripple, fins up!"

——————

Adrien's POV

We were still waiting for Lloyd and y/n to get back, and the ninja were getting a little impatient. They were being sympathetic, of course, but they still really wanted to get home. Master Fu announced that he was going to check something, and left the building.

"I can't believe we're done with our adventure," I overheard Cole say to Chloé.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I'm not used to the action lasting this long, but it felt like it wasn't ever going to end. In a good way, of course—I sort of don't want it to be over."

Over... I repeated in my head. It's over?

Reality started to sink in. Y/n wasn't going to stay in Paris—she was going back to Ninjago, and she was leaving me here all alone. I knew that I was the one to encourage Lloyd to go after y/n, but now I was starting to regret that decision.

I took a breath in, but I nearly choked. I headed for the back door, desperate for air. I hoped nobody was going to notice that I went outside.

"Go away," I muttered to my inner voices, digging my fingers into the back of my neck. "Go away, go away!"

The negative thoughts didn't listen to me. I tried to push them away, but the more I resisted them, the worse they became. I sat down on the bench closest to me, and covered my face with my hands.

"You okay?" Plagg asked.

I couldn't answer. I probably should've been questioning how he was here and not with Lloyd, but in the moment, I wasn't thinking about that. Part of me wished that the kwami had stayed inside so he wouldn't see me like this. It wasn't the first time he had seen me having an anxiety attack, but he was never really much help. The only one who could calm me down before I got too bad was y/n.

Y/n.

Dammit! As the name echoed through my head, so did a bunch of internal beatings. I could barely understand what the thoughts were yelling, just knew that my inner voices all hated me.

I started to question how I was going to get through these episodes without y/n around; she was always there for me at school, and when it happened at home, I could call her no matter what time of night it was.

What was I going to do without her?

*flash back*

"Hello?"

"Y-Y/n?"

"Adrien? What's going on?"

"I-I don't know."

"Hold on—I'll be there in five. Don't do anything stupid."

She hung up. The last time this happened, I told her not to come, because there was no way that she would be able to make it into my room, let alone the house, without someone noticing. I didn't know at the time that she was Dauphine Bleue, so I could only guess how she was able to climb through the window.

She found me pressing my back into the wall and hugging my knees to my chest. She walked over to me and buried me in a hug, telling me everything was gonna be okay. I clung onto her for dear life as she told me to breathe slowly in and out.

*end of flashback*

As soon as the memory ended, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Plagg patted my shoulder awkwardly, which made me feel a little better, but it didn't take away the fact that y/n was leaving, and she wasn't coming back.

"I'm gonna miss her too, you know," Plagg said. I was surprised he figured out exactly what I was crying about. "You two were pretty close; it's only natural for you to be upset to see her go."

I inhaled, but then didn't let it out, hoping that by holding my breath, I'd stop crying. I succeeded in silencing myself, but now the tears were just coming down quietly as I kept my eyes shut tight.

"Let it out, kid," Plagg said. "You don't have to hold back your emotions."

I finally opened up my eyes again, and glanced at the ground. I saw a small stone by my foot, picked it up, and felt the sharp edges with my thumb.

"What are you doing?" Plagg asked.

I didn't say anything. I held the rock to my wrist, but Plagg swatted it right out of my grasp.

"No! Bad Adrien, bad!" he scolded.

I reached down to find another stone, but Plagg slapped my hand.

"The only thing you're allowed to use pebbles for is throwing them at windows," he said, his little hands on his hips. "Why don't we go get you a glass of water or something?"

I sighed, not wanting to go back inside, but I agreed. I stood up and headed for the door, but before I could open it, I heard a worried voice behind me.

"Adrien?"