I wrap the glasses individually with news paper, looking out of the kitchen window.

It's Tuesday, and I'm standing in the same place that Joe and I were a few days ago.

I was weak then. The talk with Dacre, and the way Joe looked at me when he thought my heart didn't belong to him, it all made me weak.

I'd nearly forgotten all of my reasoning of ending the relationship. I couldn't make everything that happened between us, be for nothing. Break up for a week, then say 'oops sorry' and ask him to come back? No, not happening.

Maybe he didn't mean to hurt me. I didn't mean to hurt him. But, we're hurting and that's too a familiar feeling amongst us.

"Was the pain in the fact that you weren't together?"

The words sneak into my mind, and I shake my head. Damn it, Dacre.

"Are they ready to go?" Natalia asks me, as I pack the last glass into the box.

I turn to look at her, her dark brown hair framing her angled face. Her mouth is turned in a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. I smile at her, and give her a small nod.

"Yep, all done," I say.

Natalia goes to reach for the box, but her fingers twitch, hesitating.

"Charlee..." She says quietly.

"Yeah?" I ask her, confused.

"You don't... You don't hate me do you? For inviting Gemma to my party?" She asks me, her eyes wide and glassy, her smile falling.

"What? Of course not! I know you two are friends. You shouldn't have to change your friendships every time relationships shift," I say to her, shaking my head at the thought she could even think I'd ever hate her.

Natalia nods, but her chin trembles a little bit. She reaches her arms out for the box again, but I stop her with my hands on her shoulders, taking her into a hug.

"I don't blame you, or Gemma, Joe, or anyone else. This isn't about anyone being in the wrong, okay?" I say into her neck, trying to comfort her.

Natalia nods over my shoulder, but doesn't let go. She pulls me in closer and I rub my hand on her back.

"How could anyone ever hate you?" I ask, thinking out loud.

I'd never seen anyone get truly mad at Natalia. Annoyed maybe, when she was being neurotic and bossy, but not mad. She'd never hurt anyone, not on purpose and she'd do everything to prevent it happening by accident.

Natalia chuckles, and pulls back. Dabbing her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Ahh," She groans, shaking her head a little.

"Sorry to get so emotional. I just really like you. We all do! You fit into our group so well, I don't want to do anything to ruin the friendships we've all grown together," She tells me, with a small smile.

"I love you all so much, I'm so grateful to how you all made me feel like a part of the family so quickly," I tell her, turning to get the plates out of the cupboard.

"I just wish you talked to us more before you joined the cast, we always liked you, but we thought maybe you didn't like us much. Robert kept reassuring us you're just not a big people person, but it doesn't seem that way now," Natalia tells me.

I pause as I take out another plate from the cupboard. A frown setting on my face as my lips rest in a line and my eyebrows move closer together.

"Robert talked to you guys about me?" I ask her.

She shrugs, like it's not big deal. She has no idea that Robert talking to them before was news to me.

"Not like gossiping, we just asked him about you, because we wanted to be friends," She assures me.

I begin carefully wrapping the plates individually in newspaper, and placing them into another box.

"Who's we?" I ask her, knowing the answer already.

Natalia's eyes shift around, avoiding mine.

"A lot of us," She answers, unconvincingly.

"Joe," I say, not even asking.

Of course it's Joe. Everything begins, and ends with him.

"I guess, his interest piqued our interest," Natalia admits.

I shake my head slowly, as the realisation hits me.

"Everything I do, everyone I know, it's all connected to him," I think out loud.

Natalia's hand rests on my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

"Are you okay?" She asks me.

I turn to her, and smile.

"I'm fine. I've just been thinking about it all too much I think," I say with a laugh, brushing off her concern.

Charlie walks into the room then, and eyes the finished box sitting on the bench.

"This one ready to go?" He asks, glancing between Natalia and I.

I give a small nod.

"Yeah, sorry babe. I got distracted," Natalia says to him.

Charlie just gives her a smirk, and a little shake of the head, then leaves.

"I like the way you do that," I say to Natalia as she begins to walk away.

She stops and looks at me, confusion spreading on her face.

"Do what?" She asks.

"Communicate, without really talking," I say.

Natalia laughs, shaking her head a little and looking down.

"What?" I ask.

"I've just seen you do it with people too," She says, walking out of the room.

I turn back to the plates, wrapping up the last ones, and looking out the window. Who was she talking about? Joe? Multiple people? I don't know why, but it bothered me. I shake my head, and sigh.

"Wish I could bring that tree with me," I hear Robert say over my shoulder.

I turn my head to him, and smirk.

"Really?" I say, mischievously.

Roberts eyebrows furrow together as he looks at me.

"Charlee Jensen, what have you done?" He asks me suspiciously.

"Nothing," I sing, an obvious smile plastered on my face.

Robert shakes his head, and picks up the box that I had just put the last plate inside.

"Come on, we've got to get this stuff there quickly before Maya has a heart attack. I'm pretty sure she double dosed her coffee again today," Robert tells me.

I shake my head at Mayas antics. I love her exactly as she is, but I wished she'd be more careful. I can't imagine life without her now that she's in mine, and Roberts.

I follow Robert to his truck, glancing at the house. No one else is in there now. We split into two groups, packing Robert and Mayas houses, and now Roberts was empty.

Flashes of memories pass through my mind. The first time I came to Roberts house, when he made me dinner, but ran out of bacon and added salami to the carbonara instead, creating one of my new favourite meals. The time I spilled wine on his rug and instead of telling me off, he laughed and told me he wanted to get rid of it anyways, because it reminded him of his ex boyfriend. The sleepovers we had, where I told him about my brother, and my family and high school and I realised I'd never told anyone so much about me before, and I wondered how I felt so comfortable around him.

"It's the end of an era, huh?" Robert says to me, climbing into the drivers seat of the truck.

I nod, smiling.

"But, the start of an exciting new one," I say with a smile.

*****

We reach Robert and Mayas new house, cars and another truck already sitting outside.

It's not much different to Roberts house was, but with an extra bedroom. Maya says it's so they're always ready to have me for sleepovers, but the way Robert and Maya looked at each other the other day when talking about children makes me wonder.

The house is a modest size, but sits on two levels, with a blue roof, white cladding on the exterior and large windows. The front porch stretches across the entire front of the house, with a swinging bench already set up at the front.

I knew Maya could afford bigger. She had money from other acting work and money from her parents, but I think they wanted something that felt smaller, and intimate. Something that was their own, in a private bubble.

Robert gets out of the truck, and I follow suit. We walk towards the house without getting any boxes out, awaiting orders from Maya first.

As we walk up to the front door, a large dark blue pot plant comes into view, with a small cherry blossom tree sitting in it.

Robert stops, and slowly turns to me, his eyes wide.

"You didn't," He says quietly.

"Oh, but I did," I say proudly.

Robert wraps his arms around me, and pulls me in close for a hug.

"I love you, you know that?" He asks me.

I laugh, glad that my gift was well received.

"I've heard that a lot today," I say.

"You're very loveable," Robert laughs.

He pulls away, and walks over to the small tree, admiring it.

"I'm sorry it's not as big as the other one," I tell him, "I just figured if it's small, it can stay with you in the pot longer until you eventually buy a forever house, and you can plant it there,"

Robert looks over to me, his smile not wavering.

"It's perfect, Charlee," he tells me.

Once he can manage to pull himself away from the cherry blossom, Robert walks through the front door, and I follow.

Inside, we find Maya with a clipboard in one hand, and a coffee travel mug in the other. I raise an eyebrow at Robert, and he mouths "I know" to me.

When Maya sees me, she runs over and hugs me.

"Charlee, thank you so much for everything. I need you unpacking in the kitchen, and Robert you can start unpacking our wardrobe once you unload the truck," Maya doles out orders.

I snatch the coffee out of Mayas hands, as I race off to the kitchen.

"Hey! I need that!" Maya shouts after me.

"No, you do not!" I shout back, over my shoulder.

In the kitchen, I wait for Robert to bring in the boxes. I open up the travel mug, and sniff the coffee curiously.

I take a quick swig, and recoil at the bitterness, pulling a face. How, does she drink that?

I hear a laugh in the doorway, and turn my head to the sound, seeing Robert there holding a box.

"It might be best to poor it out," Robert says, laughter still sitting on his voice.

I turn around, and pour it down the sink, as Robert sets the box down on the counter.

"How does she drink that?" I ask in disbelief.

"She's not like the rest of us, that's for sure," He says.

When I turn around, I see a proud smile on his face. It fills me with warmth, knowing how happy they are.

Robert pats the box in front of him.

"This is the glasses, she wants them in that cupboard there," He tells me, pointing out a high cupboard in the corner.

I give him a small nod, and he leaves to get more.

I start to unwrap each glass carefully, and place them on the counter. Some of the glasses are clear, while some are swirls of purple and red. I can't help but admire them.

"Maya got them for me," I hear Robert say.

I look over to him, and see him putting down another box.

"She thought our meals should be more exciting," Robert explains.

I smile. Robert's not boring at all; he has the best dress sense out of any of us, makes quick witted jokes and always knows how to brighten someone's day. But, when it comes to doing things to make himself happy? That's when he seems to stop trying. I know this was Mayas way of adding brightness to his days, and it makes me happy.

"These are the plates, they go over there. I've got to get more boxes and sort the wardrobe, before Maya tracks me down and demands more coffee. I'll see you in a bit," Robert tells me, pointing to where the plates need to go.

"Your kitchenware is in good hands!" I yell out to him as he leaves.

Turning around, I walk over to the cupboard that the glasses have been designated to. I open up the doors, and then start taking the glasses, and sliding them into the cupboard.

The cupboard is a bit high for me, and I wonder for a moment if Maya did this to me on purpose. It would be like her to play a practical joke on me while I'm helping her.

Trying to slide another glass in, I stand on the very tip of my toes the best I can. Reaching my arms out as far as I can go. I can feel the strain in my forehead as I concentrate, my lungs tightening as I stretch my body to it's limits and beads of sweat forming on my neck.

Just as I am considering giving up completely -despite my motivation of not wanting Maya to win this joke, I feel someone close behind me.

A hand takes the glass from my hand and places it on the shelf perfectly.

I can tell who it is already; by the forest green long shirt I've seen him wear before, by the smell of his lemon myrtle soap, and by the way my body responds with all nerve endings feeling like they've been set on fire.

"Here," His voice says softly.

My breathing shallows as I freeze. His shirt is just barely grazing across my back, and yet I'm acutely aware of every breath he takes. My skin is hot, and yet it's craving more contact.

I slide from the tips of my toes, down back to the soles of my feet, and slowly turn around. I look up, seeing Joes face inches from mine. His eyes dark and fiery.

"Thank you," I whisper.

I look into Joes eyes for a moment longer, neither of us making a single move. As if frozen in each other's gaze, or too timid after everything, to take any action.

I want him.

I already know this though -that my body is drawn to him. It's always had this strange reaction to him. The second his skin touched mine when he grabbed my hand on the day of my audition, it's like my body craved more. The fire that burns in the spaces between us, like a haunting reminder of what could be.

While I try to convince myself that the physical reaction I have to him doesn't mean anything, I drop my gaze, clear my throat and side step him. Walking over to get more glasses.

Joe looks after me, dumb founded a little, then shakes his head as if coming to his senses. He walks over to me and takes the glasses from my hand, and for a moment, I think he's going to set them down and sweep me off my feet.

"I'll put these away. I can reach better," He tells me in a nonchalant voice, shrugging a little.

"Thanks," I repeat, giving him a little nod.

Gosh I'm pathetic. I broke up with him! Why am I standing here waiting for him to kiss me like that? My brain feels foggy, as I try to remember why I ended things. We aren't good for each other.

I turn to the box of plates, and start unwrapping them and putting them away. I'm thankful the plates cupboard is on the opposite side of the kitchen.

Joe and I are silent as we work, stealing glances every now and then, our eyes connecting for a moment as we catch the other looking. I try to find something to talk about, but every time my mouth opens it's as if my voice has left on vacation, and my throat is thick with the tension.

Finally, I hear a sigh from Joe. I look over at him and he's leaning against the counter, looking inside the box of glasses.

He must feel my eyes on him, because he looks up and our eyes connect. Joe opens his mouth to talk, but I quickly speak before he can say anything.

"I'm going to see if Maya needs help anywhere else," I say quickly, pivoting on my toes, and practically running out of there before he gets a chance to say anything.

I feel bad for rushing out of there, but I'm not ready to hear whatever it is he has to say. If he says he doesn't want to talk to me ever again, it'll hurt too much. If he says he's moving on, it'll be his right to, but it'll hurt too much. If he says he wants me back, it'll hurt too much.

I just need to put space between us right now, because being so close without being able to just wrap my arms around him is too hard.

This was my choice. So, why is it so hard to get the other parts of my brain to accept that just because a part of me will always be his, doesn't mean he is mine anymore?

I find Maya in the bathroom, carefully stocking the cupboards. She must hear me coming, because she turns her head to the door as I arrive.

"You done already?" Maya asks me.

"Ah... um... Joe came in to help me and then started talking to me, and I kind of freaked out. Do you need any help?" I explain to her.

I feel embarrassed about how I reacted. I should be able to have a conversation with him, but my stomach twists up in knots around him and my brain no longer works.

Maya puts down the moisturiser she was putting away, and rubs her palms on her legs as if she is getting ready to say something.

"You know, I think you should talk to him. I love you Charlee, but you broke his heart. Everything went from great to suddenly nothing. Man probably needs closure," Maya tells me, a soft look in her eye.

I slide down the wall next to her to sit down, bringing my knees into my stomach.

"I didn't mean to hurt him," I whisper.

Maya turns back to the cabinet to continue stocking it, but continues talking.

"You were going to tell him you love him," Maya points out.

I don't say anything. She's right, I know she is. I did go from planning on telling him I love him, to breaking up in one night. None of this has been fair on him, even if I thought it was for the best.

"Do you still love him?" Maya asks.

I look up, and she's looking at me. I look into her eyes as I give a small nod. Maya sighs, and puts away the last container of some kind of cream.

"Let's go see how the living room is shaping up," Maya says, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet.

—————
Authors note: Hey, hello! Thank you for baring with me while I skipped my Wednesday upload this week. I know that the Wednesdays have never been set in stone, but I had been pretty proud of the pacing I had with that.

If all goes well, I should be ready for Wednesday this week. I am starting to feel a bit sick though. My family has covid (the risks of travelling to the city, I guess), bar me and one other person. Wish me luck that this is just a little cough and anxiety! I did have a good time away though.

I got notified that if I finish this story in time, it's eligible to be entered into the Wattys! I'm not sure if I'll be done by then, but I thought that's pretty cool. I think I reached the minimum length, which is the longest book I've written so far, "published" and unpublished.

I'll see you hopefully on Wednesday, but if not I'll do everything in my power to see you next Sunday! (Or whatever day it is my uploads come through in your time zone)

Before I leave, I'm going to drop some Joe pics. Because he's beautiful, no other reason. See you!