He remembers suddenly feeling really drowsy, slurring his words, being wheeled into theatre. Then there was something different.

He woke up back on the ward. He turned to see Zosia sat on the end of his bed looking at her phone.
"What are you doing?" He asked
"Waiting." She replied
"For what?"
"I don't know."
She looked him in the eye and in that moment he wanted nothing else.
"Lie with me." He said
She didn't say anything else. She slowly placed her phone down and moved closer to him until she eventually lay down next to him.
"That's next to me not with me."
Zosia laughed at Ollie's comment before she moved closer and let him wrap his arm around her waist as she placed her hand over his abdomen. He had been desperate for this moment ever since he started remembering things about her, he had his reasons, the missing part of their relationship was coming back to him, he was falling in love with her all over again. He had been waiting for this moment for weeks but something about it didn't seem right.
"I've been waiting to hold you for so long." He said thinking out loud
"Well you only had to ask." Zosia replied
"But this isn't it this isn't THE moment I wouldn't just get it like this."
"Well you're dreaming so you can have whatever you want."
He knew this already, something in the back of his mind had been telling him all along, it wasn't real.
"Anything?" He asked
"Anything you can imagine."

He woke up again at home, in bed cuddled up to Zosia. She looked so beautiful, so relaxed, calm. He hadn't seen her like that in a long time even when she was asleep at the hospital she was sat on the stupid char that looked way too uncomfortable to actually sleep in. He suddenly felt quite guilty. All this time he had been concentrating on himself trying to get better, he hadn't even thought about how it might have been effecting her.
"I wish I could remember more about you." He said to her sleeping body. "I wish I could remember the way you used to look at me, the way I used to look at you, the way we laughed, talked, God I even wish I remembered the way we fought. I wish I remembered all the little things, because they're the most important you know. Anyone could tell me the day we got married. But I want to remember how I felt when I saw you for the first time. I want my life back."
Zosia stirred and looked up at him "you can have your life back, if you wake up, fight through surgery. Just survive surgery I'll be waiting. I'll wait forever if I have to but I will wait for you to remember." She touched the side of his face "I love you, please survive."
"So all I have to do is wake up?" Ollie asked.
Zosia nodded "but Ollie, I don't think you're done here yet are you. While you can, I know you and I know there is still one thing that you want before you wake up. We have all the time in the world Ollie."

"Ollie, Ollie, Oliver Valentine wake up right now."
He opened his eyes to find himself in the Darwin staff room
"Took your time." A voice said.
"I'm so sorry." He said sitting up and looking at the voice "it should have been me. I deserved it, i'd lied to everyone. I'd lied to you. I should have been in that train, I should have died."
"Well then I never would have told anyone about what you did would I, if you'd died and I claimed you'd switched our papers no one would believe me and I'd just look like I was trying to use your death to advance my career." She said sitting down next to Ollie.
"But you didn't deserve to die, you never did everything wrong, you had so much more life."
"So do you, you're going to get through this, Zosia's going to make sure of it." Ollie looked up at the mention of Zosia
"You've never even met Zosia." Ollie smiled
"I don't need to, I know everything. I know that she loves you and I know that she is going to do everything she possibly can do to make sure that you get better. And then you're going to have beautiful little babies and grow old together, you'll be the weird cranky one that sits in a recliner yelling at the telly and she'll yell back at you to shut up."
"You seem to have my life all planned out." Ollie said as he turned to face her and she looked at him smiling
"But you have to promise me one thing. Please don't feel guilty about what happened to me, it wasn't your fault, and yes I was mad at you for switching our papers but that doesn't mean I don't love you Ollie. You're my brother I've always loved you, and I always will, no matter what mess you get yourself into. Please Ollie, forgive yourself, live everyday as if it's your last and for gods sake try and keep hold of Zosia for more that a few months at a time."
Ollie looked at his sister and laughed he leaned towards her and pulled her into a tight hug knowing he'd never get the opportunity again "I love you pen."
"I love you too Ollie. Now go back and be with your wife. Go get your life back."

Okay so I haven't updated this in nearly a month but I've just not really been motivated please let me know what you think of this it really help when I'm writing other chapters. Sorry it took so long.
(Also just incase anyone didn't understand what was going on here this chapter is Ollie dreaming while he's in surgery)
Thanks