September 11th

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The next morning, Ella woke up almost an hour before her already ludicrously early alarm. She lay there waiting for it to ring, her mind full of thoughts of Bucky and Christian. She couldn't stop thinking about the fact that in the space of a week she'd gone from a content easy life, to something entirely different. She was constantly stressed, always on edge. And then there was the guilt. No matter how much she tried to ignore it, it kept rearing its ugly head. In short, a day with her girls was exactly what was needed.

She texted them, confirming the plan, and rolled out of bed. She pulled out a pair of gym shorts, groaning as she realized Bucky's surprise appearance last night meant she forgot to do her washing and dug around in her wash basket for another sports bra.

She gathered her dirty clothes up into her arms and headed downstairs. Once the laundry was on she popped some bread in the toaster and made coffee. No one had drawn the curtains the night before so the kitchen was flooded with sunlight. The weather had brightened up since the night before, making it an easy decision to work out outside rather than in the dingy makeshift gym in the garage.

Steve appeared, still in pyjamas and looking worse for wear. He was skipping his workout this morning. He leant over the island, reaching for Ella's coffee and claiming it as his own.

Ella rolled her eyes and grabbed a second mug, pouring a fresh cup.

"What's your plan today?" He asked as he dug through the cupboard in search of aspirin.

"Workout, then shopping with the girls," she said between bites of her buttered toast.

"I need the car," he grumbled, clearly suffering. Ella wasn't sympathetic.

"Why?"

"I'm going out."

"Well, no shit. So am I. I need the car," she retorted, irritated.

Steve leant his forehead against the cupboard door, groaning indistinctly.

Finally, he said something Ella could hear. "You're going to have to give me a lift then," he conceded.

"Fine."

She rubbed her hands clean of crumbs and stacked her plate in the dishwasher. As she walked out of the back door she called over her shoulder.

"You better be ready at 9 on the dot or I'm not taking you," Ella warned.

She shot him a sarky smile as she said it. Steve was the one person who saw every side of her, the good and the annoying.

He flipped her off jokingly as he trudged back up to his room.

By the time she was finished working out, she was sweaty and wide awake. Exercising first thing in the morning was the only thing that could wake her up, not even coffee did quite as good a job. She hit the shower, darting in just as Steve came out of his bedroom, towel in hand.

"Sorry!" she shouted as she locked the door behind her.

By 8:45 she was ready to leave, she sat downstairs waiting for Steve, chatting to her mom.

"I heard you guys had a new friend over last night?"

"Yeah, Bucky. He's nice, new at school, and he's on the swim team," she tried to hide her face from her mom, sure the smile she could barely contain would give away how she was feeling about him. No one could read her quite like her mom.

"That's nice, you're good kids, making an effort him."

"We know," she sang, as Steve jogged downstairs.

They took turns kissing their mom on the cheek and made their way out to the car. Within a few minutes, they'd picked up Nat and Wanda, both of whom were intrigued to know a little more about Bucky after Steve mentioned he'd been over.

Ella stayed vague. He's nice, funny, friendly. But Steve straight out proclaimed he was their newest member of the friendship group.

"I don't care if you guys don't like him," he joked. "We're keeping him, the boys were outnumbered anyway."

Once they dropped Steve off at Sam's, Wanda leapt into the front seat.

"Okay, we know you were holding back in front of Steve. Tell us what you actually think of him," Nat grinned as she leaned forward from the back seat.

Ella made the snap decision to be honest. Brutally honest.

"You were right about him, Nat. He's great."

"It's more than just friendly though right?" Nat pried.

"Yeah... kind of. I don't know how to explain it. I feel like I'm drawn to him. When I first saw him, I was like 'wow he's beautiful' and now I've started to get to know him and I'm like 'wow he's really beautiful'. Which is insane because you look at his face and think it can't get any better than that, then it does," she rambled.

Wanda and Nat's mouths gaped open.

"Ella. You like him. You really like him," Nat stated in shock.

Ella shook her head, suddenly nervous after her truthful outburst. She decided not to mention that they'd already admitted they liked each other, that was for her and Bucky only.

Nat and Wanda gave each other a knowing look before they broke out into smiles. Much like Sam and Steve, they weren't fans of Christian, and their thoughts were aligned. Maybe now she'll see what she's missing.

"You have to invite him to my party," Nat teased.

"Nuh uh. Your party. You invite him. Plus it's weird if I do it."

"What are you going to do about Christian?" Wanda chimed in. That was the million-dollar question.

"I don't know, it's been a week. Not even. I can't throw away what I have with Christian for someone I first spoke to 5 days ago," she reasoned.

"But what do you have with Christian?" Nat asked bluntly. She knew the answer. Not much. She was just trying to see if Ella was ready to admit it yet.

She wasn't.

Twenty minutes of slightly uncomfortable small talk later they arrived in the city. Time to shop.

While Nat was trying on clothes for her party Wanda and Ella snuck off to shop for her birthday present. As they browsed the jewelry section, Wanda tried the more gentle approach to the Christian discussion.

"You know if you want to talk, I'm here to listen right?"

Ella shrugged, her shackles were still up from Nat's questioning in the car.

"I'm sorry Ella, Nat was out of line. You know that if you're happy, we're happy right?" Wanda's voice was calming, reassuring. Ella finally let her guard down.

"I know, I do. I just wasn't expecting any of this. It just made me think you know," she replied.

Wanda nodded, holding up a pair of earrings to Ella as if to say 'how about these?'

Ella shook her head.

"We can do better."

Her eyes landed on a necklace, and she knew it was the one. It was long, perfect for a dress with a plunging neckline, as if on cue, Nat stepped out of the changing room in just that.

Wanda subtly looked between the necklace and Nat's dress.

"It's perfect, Nat," she grinned.

Their friend disappeared back into the changing room and Wanda resumed their conversation.

"That's good though right? Cause you've been with Christian ages, it's a good way to figure out how you really feel."

She said it so genuinely that Ella couldn't get annoyed.

"Yeah, I guess," was all she could say in reply.

By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, Ella was ready to see Christian. He had invited her over for a study date and she had taken him up on the offer.

They sat on opposite sides of his dining room table, notes and books splayed out between them. Ella had biology homework and Christian was doing research for his history project. They hadn't spoken save for him offering her a drink. This wasn't unusual, in fact, one of the things Ella liked most about Christian was the comfortable silences. After Laura had died everyone was constantly checking up on her, trying to fill the gaps in conversation under the assumption that if she was being quiet, she was sad. Which wasn't true. Firstly because she was sad all the time in the beginning, not just when she was quiet. And secondly, because she had always enjoyed being left to her thoughts. Christian was one of the few people who seemed to get that without her ever having to say anything. He was happy to just let her be.

The longer they sat there, the calmer she became. No thoughts of Bucky popped into her head, she just enjoyed her time with her boyfriend. She managed to convince herself that all of the pent up feelings from the last week weren't real. But then, when they were done studying, Christian pulled her in for a kiss. He was soft, gentle, as always, but his wandering hands told her he wanted more. One hand was running up her stomach, having found its way under her shirt, the other was caressing her thigh. He briefly pulled away from their kiss, flicking his eyes towards the stairs in invitation. But Ella shook her head, her arousal hindered by that damn guilt. Just as Christian's lips had met hers, Bucky had popped into her mind. Not that she was imagining him, nothing like that, it was just more like a little reminder. Hi. It's me. Back again.

"Sorry, I should go. I need to get home for dinner," she half-lied. She had promised her mom she'd be back in time for dinner but she had at least an hour before she actually needed to leave.

Christian nodded understandingly.

"No worries, I'll catch you at school tomorrow," he smiled and pecked her on the lips.

It was Monday, fifth period before she saw Christian again, she walked into history class and shot him a small wave. But she'd already seen and spoken to Bucky twice by then. First thing in the morning she'd spotted him by their lockers, and had to make a conscious effort not to run over to him.

"Morning," she smiled.

"Hey, how was the rest of your weekend?" He asked, far more relaxed talking to her now than he had been last week.

"It was alright, shopping, homework. Nothing special. How about you?"

"Yeah, pretty much the same. Well, no shopping. Nat did invite me to her party though" he looked over as he said it, hoping to gauge her reaction.

She played it as cool as she could.

"Perfect, I'll make sure to introduce you to everyone"

Again, at lunchtime, they met by their lockers and walked to the cafeteria together. This became a regular occurrence over the next couple of weeks, and after school, they'd walk to swim practice or the car park side by side, and Steve's perpetual lateness would give them an extra few minutes together.

Ella was always so engrossed in their conversation that she didn't notice the questioning looks people were starting to give them. All she could focus on was the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed, and the way he looked at her so intently while she spoke.

Neither of them had said a word about meeting up, they never discussed it or made a plan, but by lunch the following Friday they were both there chatting away at their lockers, and they had both realized they didn't need to be there. When Ella noticed she had half a mind to open her locker and pull out a book to make it less weird. But then as she stood there, leaning against the wall, all she could think was that she wanted him to know how much this meant to her. These five-minute conversations were the highlights of her day, even when they were accompanied by their friends. So she stayed planted where she was, hoping that he would know what she was thinking. I'm only here for you.

And he did. Of course, he knew. Because it's what he was thinking too


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