After a night of board games and TV with her family, Ella and Bucky made their way upstairs. Her parents were, of course, still insisting on him staying in the guest room but for now, they decided to go into Ella's bedroom. As long as they didn't accidentally fall asleep together it would be fine.
Bucky chucked her throw pillows onto the floor before they laid out on Ella's bed, legs intertwined as they wrapped their arms around each other. Bucky brushed Ella's hair out of her face and over her shoulder, idly running a strand of her blonde waves through his fingers.
Ella desperately wanted to talk to Bucky about what had happened with his family this weekend. Although he'd been all smiles most of the day he was still a more subdued version of himself and it hadn't gone unnoticed, she just had no idea how to bring it up without making him shut down.
Bucky on the other hand was not quite so ready to talk. Over the months they'd known each other, especially after today, he knew Ella would have worked out he didn't have the best relationship with his dad, but it didn't make the prospect of discussing it any easier.
Bucky had idolized his dad growing up, he was ex-military, strong, and brave. From the outside looking in, and to Bucky as a child, he'd looked like the perfect husband and father. He always seemed caring and doted on his kids, especially Bucky's little sister, Becca. However, the illusion had come crashing down around Bucky's thirteenth birthday. It was late at night and he couldn't sleep and he'd heard his parents arguing downstairs. He couldn't make out what it was about but at the sound of his mother's shriek, he'd run down to the kitchen.
His dad's face was red with anger and his mom had tears streaming down her face. When he appeared in the doorway they'd both tried to compose themselves, and his mom had hurriedly taken him back upstairs to bed. She promised him it was nothing to worry about but the next morning he'd seen a bruise peeking out from under the sleeve of her blouse.
Over the years their arguments intensified, although he never saw any more evidence that his father had laid his hands on her again. As Bucky grew he soon matched his father's height and as he filled out he knew that if it ever came to it, he would be able to step in. It was an unspoken rule in the house that Becca was never to know about their parents' arguments. She still loved their father unconditionally, and as she was still just twelve years old, Bucky didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. His relationship with his father had never been the same after that night but despite his own feelings he wanted differently for his sister. This Thanksgiving was the first time that he'd ever really given Becca a real indication about their fractured relationship.
When his mom had told him about the plan to spend the day with his father he was furious and remained defiant in his stance that he wouldn't go. He wasn't prepared to go back and play happy families again. His mom tried as hard as she could to get him to go with them for the sake of his little sister, and although guilt ate away at him when he saw the pout on Becca's face when he said no, he didn't back down. As Becca was too little to travel alone, the only option had been to stay at home by himself.
As all this had transpired a few weeks ago he'd thought time and time again about talking to Ella about it, he knew she'd invite him over without a moment's hesitation, but he didn't want her to think any less of him. Which, in hindsight, seemed stupid. Ella wasn't one to pass judgment.
Ella gently brushed her thumb across Bucky's cheek. "You can tell me anything you know, I just want to know so I can help. You know that's all I want, right?"
Bucky nodded, "yeah, I do, I don't know why I didn't tell you. I know I should have." He propped himself up on his elbow and gave Ella a sad smile. "I just thought...I don't know...maybe you'd think I was a bad person if I didn't want to see my dad, and I guess I wasn't really ready to tell you why."
Ella leaned over and kissed him. "I know you're not a bad person, Bucky, I could never think that."
Her face was painted with sadness, hating watching Bucky's inner torment.
Bucky rolled onto his back, he stared up at the ceiling, still holding Ella's hand by his side. He knew he should tell her now, while they were on the subject. He let out a breath and started talking, filling her in. As he did, he felt Ella's hand tighten around his. He relaxed a little at her touch, he didn't spare any details and let himself tell her the whole story. His eyes remained fixed on the ceiling, focused on a crack that snaked across the white paint, not wanting to watch Ella's reaction, the last remaining shred of doubt getting the better of him.
When he finished, Ella stayed quiet for a few seconds, taking in everything he had said. Her heart hurt for him, she came from a happy home and her parents had a happy marriage. The idea of someone not having a good relationship with both of their parents was alien to her.
"Thank you for telling me, Bucky, for letting me in," she said, and he leaned over a pressed a sweet kiss on her lips.
"Yeah, I'm glad I did, I feel...honestly I feel a lot better now. It's a weight off my chest, to say the least."
"I don't know if your family has plans for Christmas," she started, looking over at Bucky for a quick answer. He shrugged in response, nothing had been decided yet. "But I'm sure you know now that you can tell me if the same thing happens again, and you're welcome to join us. The Rogers household at Christmas is epic," she laughed.
Bucky rolled over and gave her a smirk, "maybe by then I'll be allowed to stay in your bed."
Ella groaned, "we can hope."
With that, Bucky propped himself up so he was leaning over Ella. All he could think was how much he wanted to ask her to be his girlfriend. It was either going to be that or those three words. He felt like either could slip out at any moment. To stop himself, he let his lips drop down to meet Ella's, ensuring he wouldn't be able to say anything. This didn't feel like the right moment.
Bucky's hand found its way under the hem of her top and gripped her waist as she tangled her fingers into his hair. She parted her lips, allowing Bucky's tongue to explore her mouth. he drifted downwards, over her chin, down her neck, across her collarbones, settling himself between Ella's legs. His fingers pulled her top up to expose her stomach before his hands gripped her hips. His lips brushed her tanned skin as Ella admired the curve of his shoulders, her hands still wrapped in his hair. Bucky sucked gently on the skin over her hip before he pulled back, smiling to himself as he looked up at Ella.
He sighed deeply, "I don't want to start something I can't finish."
Ella hummed in reply. "Yeah, you really need to stop teasing me."
Bucky collapsed onto the bed next to Ella before standing up, he leaned down, giving Ella one final kiss before disappearing off to the guest room.
Ella laid on the bed for a few minutes, hating the feeling of emptiness that settled into her chest as soon he left. She rolled over, hugging her pillow in lieu of Bucky, it was nowhere near as comfortable as his chest, but it would have to do for now.
In the guest room, Bucky was seriously considering sneaking back to see Ella, but the idea of being caught by her parents persuaded him it was not a good idea. He just kept his fingers crossed that sometime soon, the rules would change. However, he knew for that to be the case they'd have to be together first. He was edging closer and closer to asking, it had almost slipped out this evening, and earlier in the day. If their Thanksgiving hadn't been punctuated by difficult moments and conversations, he would've done it, but instead, he'd held back. He rolled over and wrapped himself in the quilt, promising himself he'd ask Ella as soon as he could.
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