You get back to HQ and see Shaundi. She looks stressed and when she sees you she rushes over "Are you okay? I'm so sorry I left you alone last night. Did your night go well? You didn't come home, I know I suggested it but I didn't think you really would" she laughs. Though a gleam in her eyes told me she was a little worried it didn't go so well.

"It was fine" you force a smile. You didn't want her to feel bad, because of your mistake, so you decided to withhold the creepy from the guy. "I had fun-" but looking into her now relieved eyes you couldn't help but break. Tears threatened to spill and you smile went wonky.

"Oh god, are you really alright (y/n)? Just, come sit down and you can tell me what happened" you follow her from the elevator to the middle of the pent house, I sit in the couch and she sits next to me glaring at any loitering Saints. They took the hint and left.

"It's nothing" you cringe at how cliche that sounded as tears started pour. You still didn't want to bring up the creep, and the run in with Matt flashes in your mind and you sob. "I was leaving the hotel...Matt came out of one of the rooms and-" you take a deep breath trying not to sob at the memory, "he saw me and was angry, because I spent the night with a guy! Like he could talk! He actually scolded me. Like he had the right to, after these years. He even kissed me!" You try to swallow, but that damn lump was back.

"Jesus Christ I'm going to kill him" Shaundi facepalms and goes to put her hand on your knee. But you were too lost in your memories of last night and this morning that you flinched at the contact. Bile rose up your throat, your hand rose to your mouth and the image of that man flashed across your eyelids. You swallowed. Shaundi lifts up her hand and looks at you. Her brows furrow and her eyes soften with an almost understanding look in them.

"You aren't telling me the whole story..." She stated looking apologetic. You sigh.

"No I'm not...the guy I was with last night...I don't remember anything and it scares me. I don't know what happened after you left. All I remember is waking up naked in a hotel room with him and I feel so gross. So dirty. Like no amount of scrubbing will get me clean. And it's not your fault it's mine. I just feel so disgusted." You tear up again and hug yourself. Shaundi stands still looking apologetic and a little grim, "I wish I didn't leave you, I'm sorry" she picks up a plastic shopping bag from the coffee table and hands it over. "I don't know the details, but I wouldn't trust him anyway. It's a morning after pill and a bottle of water. Take the pill and go clean up hun. I'll make you something nutritious and tell the boss to let you rest however long you need. And in a few days we'll go to the doctors if you want and get you checked up, how does that sound?" She smiles gently and pats your head.

You stand hug her. "You'll be okay hun"

"Thank you Shaundi" you reply and go about following her instructions.

*A few hours later*

You sat in your room. Cuddling your pillow up to your face blasting music from your speaker. You kept thinking about Matt. The Matt you used to know, before you left...he was nothing like the Matt in the club or the hotel. The fire in his eyes was unfamiliar. It was intense and so sure. The sound of his voice even, was a tone deeper. He looked  like Matt...he used to be Matt. But he was a stranger now. And you didn't know him anymore. How has he changed so much when you've stayed the same? You sob into your pillow, laying down on your back you stare at the ceiling, off in another world in your mind. Your ears tuned in on the music just as a familiar song comes on. Suddenly it was about Matt...

(Matt's POV this is happening simultaneously)

I find my home feeling defeated. How stupid have I been? (Y/n) isn't mine. Not anymore. She's different. I don't even recognise her. I walked into my apartment and memories of her echoed of the walls. Her laugh, her smile. She used to fill this room with her presence, but now it's left bare and hollow. Filled only with the sounds of my own sorrow. That's when I realised I was crying. How many hours have I spent missing her? I look at the couch and remember that day, so vividly like I was back there...

Matt walked into the living room and saw (y/n) sprawled across the lounge, (h/c) hair pulled back into a messy bun, hair falling into her (e/c) eyes, completely engrossed in a book. He looked over her features, her strong jaw, round eyes, black lips pressed firm as she concentrates on the world she's reading in her hands. 'She's beautiful, amazing and so Intelligent. An absolute dream.' Matt leans against the wall and smiles. 'I think I like you, (y/n)...' Matt blushes realising his thoughts. He shakes off his nerves and looks over to her again. (Y/n) looks up and locks eyes him. Matt stumbles embarrassed as the feeling of butterflies flows through his stomach, his heart skips a beat, and everything seems so clear. "G-good book?" He asks. Blushing more as a lock of her stubborn hair falls loose and catches the morning light from the window, her face seems to glow in the light, sun reflecting in magical ways in her (e/c) eyes as they pierce his. Matt swallows hard. Her face lights up in such an adorable way as she talks about the book with much enthusiasm, eyes sparkling with every memory she gets from the book, and goes into such depth and detail about how amazing it is. Matt's eyes widen and he whispers "I love you."

...That was the moment I realised I had fallen in love. The memory was gone as soon as it had appeared and the corner where the couch sat, that once seemed so colourful, was dull and grey. I looked across from the couch to the television, I remembered that night when we watched Nyteblade together and she fell asleep on my shoulder...

Half way into the episode, you fell asleep and rolled onto Matt's shoulder. Matt smiles at you and chuckles before turning off the tv and attempting to carry you to your bed. He lifted you pretty easily, you were decently heavy, like a sleeping dead weight person should be, and he carried you into your room. Matt tried to put you on the bed softly but lost his footing in the blue shaggy Matt dropped you and fell half on top of you. You, miraculously, didn't wake up and Matt struggled to hold back laughter as he propped himself up and looked down at your sleeping face. "Adorable" he whispered. And left the room.

....Without willing it I found myself walking over to her bedroom door. I wiped the tears from my face and enter for the first time in about a year since she left me. My body is almost magnetised to her computer, my eyes linger on her bed briefly as sit on her chair, once again I find myself overwhelmed with tears and as they pour my hands have some mind of their own as they hack into her computer. I don't know why I decided to play her playlist, I just felt drawn to it. Perhaps I just wanted something to feel like she was here still. And as the music starts, the lyrics remind me of her. Sobs wrack my body at this sad and unfamiliar tune.

(This is the song they are both listening too, I put flashbacks at intervals that made sense. It's up to you to interpret this)

I never should have called
'Cause I knew you would leave me
But I didn't think you could do it so easily........

"I'm sorry I have to do this (y/n). But those were very confidential files."

"M-m-Matt Miller!" You were at a loss for words. Now you were curious about what those files were, you snatched your laptop and plugged in the USB, they were plans to get rid of the saints. Was he crazy?

"So you know me, that makes things easier. (Y/n) please, just don't read the files, and give the usb to me."

"H-how do you know my name! Oh, and it might be a-a little late for that," you admitted.

"I'm a cyber God, I even know your address, you. WHAT!?" He face palmed and you flinched, "I'm sorry, see you in bit."..........

/You both almost laughed at that memory/

I never should have held your hand
On that cold rainy night
'Cause, further along, it would cause another fight............
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY!? I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!" You stand up pushing him out of the way, tears falling down your face as you storm out of the building. You plod down the street and it starts to dribble, your new decker uniform getting soaked as droplets roll down your boots. You're thankful to the rain for hiding your embarrassing tears. Your makeup is smudged and ruined, black eyeliner smearing down your (s/c) face as sobs rack your body. You feel so dumb, you have always admired Matt, and look at you, completely stupid compared to him. He probably can't wait to get rid of you. You stop, realising you have no where to go. You and Matt have been sharing an apartment for the past week, and you sold your old house. You turn down the alley to the left of you, your persistent tears blurring your vision, you stumble over a random box and fall against the brick wall of the building next to you. "God, I'm such a fuck up, I don't know why but my heart has always ached for him" you cry and slide down the wall.

After (y/n) left Matt had a closer look at what she was doing, yikes she had no idea. But he didn't understand why she was so mad, or how she hacked him. Matt pulled out his phone and tracked (y/n)'s phone. He followed the signal to an alley. He walked down the alley cringing at the trash all over the place. "(Y/n)?"

You flinch when you hear Matt's voice and start to wipe your face. "What."

"You really don't know what you're doing, do you?"

"No. *sobs* I'm sorry...I didn't even try to hack you it was just one huge accident! I don't know how to do anything like that. Just, please don't get rid of me." Before you can control it you start crying again and Matt rushes to your side throwing his arms over you, the both of you drenched from the rain.

Matt comforts you by saying "I won't get rid of you, (y/n), you're too beautiful, smart and strong. I love having you around."

"Matt, I really admire you, and I've always wanted to join the Deckers because of you...You're 16, same as me, and here you are, so Intelligent it would take you 3 seconds and the whole FBI  would be on their knees begging for your forgiveness, as you wave their darkest secrets in their face. And I'm just...me"

You both lock eyes in the darkness, blues gazing into (e/c). You blush realising how ridiculous this all is. Matt just stares.

"I can teach you,...if you want to learn that is..." Your eyes widen in surprise.

"You can?!"
...............

Stranger, that's all I see
When I look into your eyes
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be
Stranger, who knows all my secrets
Can pull me apart and break my heart
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be...............

Before you get there however, time seems to stop as you catch sight of Matt, he looked more rough and defined and even from here you could see his frame seemed stronger, more chiseled, your joy in seeing him halted and time came rushing back, you stop as does Shaundi, at that moment you watch Matt push some bimbo into the wall and make out with her. You feel the hair on your neck stand up, your blood run  cold, a lump forms in your throat and your stomach churns.
//////////////////////
"I had to leave my boyfriend like two or three years ago and I haven't spoken or seen him since and I went out tonight with my friend Shaundi *sob* nd i saw him *hic* makin' out wif some slut *sniffle* well maybe not a slut I don't knoww" my face was still on the bar but I turned my face to look at him.

"Yeesh, I'm sorry about that. But I mean it's been years since you've even spoken. People change and move on. Maybe, you should do the same" he winks and finishes his drink. He goes to stand up, but you grab his sleeve.

"You're right" you sit up and wipe your face managing a weak smile.
"Drink with me?"
................................
I never should have kissed
Kissed your hand
.................................
Just as you turned around to leave yourself, you heard a woman yelling and things breaking as the door in front of you slams open to a lean but muscular man with a shirt draped over his arm, as he hobbled out pulling up his pants. "Look its not personal, I just don't want to see you ever again" he said back in an English accented voice that was so familiar to you, and so handsome.

"Oh yeah, 'nothing personal, just don't talk to me ever again!' I hate you! I can't believe I paid for this hotel room!" She slammed the door in his face and he zipped up his pants, adjusting them. He turned and you froze in place as his eyes met yours. You suddenly felt so self-conscious it made you sick and you wished you had washed or at least tried to tame your hair. You waited for the world to swallow you up.

He seemed to freeze too as he took in the sight of you. He noticed your figure was fuller and plumper than before, it was sexier that's for sure, your hair however was a mess, and washed off mascara was smudged under your eyes. One look at you and he could tell what you were doing last night in this hotel. The knowledge made him too angry and too jealous to remember how long it had been since he saw you. And he didn't even consider the fact he had done the same thing, as he pulled you into his arms and forced his lips to yours. You shoved him off of you.

.....................
I am under your control
...................

"Get off of me Matt! What's wrong with you" you felt a lump swell in your throat again, it was almost guilt. You tried not to cry, you really did, but your defence shattered when he said.

"Who were you with? You're mine no one else's!" He was stupid. And realised this as you burst into tears, his whole demeanor changed and the events that lead to his assault flooded his mind and he was filled with regret.
.................
I will never understand
......................
"(Y/n) I'm sorry I wasn't thinking straight i-"

"No. You weren't. You were thinking with your dick! It's none of your damn business who I was with. And I don't know who you think you are calling me yours after spending a night with some other woman! And you had the audacity to kiss me?" The lump was too great and you thought you might choke. It was too hard to speak, so you just went to leave. But Matt stopped you, grabbing your hand.

"Wait, (y/n)" you ripped your hand out of his.

"Don't. Touch. Me."
.........................
I never should have said
"I love you"
You never said it back
So why do I still care for you?
Stranger, that's all I see
When I look into your eyes
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be
Stranger, who knows all my secrets
Can pull me apart and break my heart
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be
Wish I could go back to the day we met and leave you be
Sit and look pretty
Never should have called,
......"Hello? R4gnor0k??".......
Never should have helped
........."I can teach you,...if you want to learn that is..."..............
Never should have kissed
.............Like magnets you and Matt's lips touch and all your senses snap.......................
Never should have said
..........."Who were you with? You're mine no one else's!"

"Don't. Touch. Me." ...............

Stranger, that's all I see
When I look into your eyes
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be
Stranger, who knows all my secrets
Can pull me apart and break my heart
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
A/n

And I'm ending it their folks. I'm pretty proud of this chapter, and how quickly I managed to get it out. Also 2900 ish words 😲 I never wrote this much even in school 😅😅

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