My dreams are the same every night.

No matter what has happened in my life, no matter what condition I am in, whenever I lay down for the night, I always return to the same dream.

Over, and over, and over again. It never seems to stop.

In that dream, I stand alone.

A lake comes to life beneath my feet, and a Thunder Sakura tree blooms right before my very eyes, its pink petals gracefully falling off its branches.

One petal after the other, they dampen the tears that have long stained my cheeks.

I never realize that I cry in my dreams until those petals brush my skin.

And then, it suddenly becomes so hard to breathe because of my crying. My sobs echoing through this seemingly empty plane that surrounds me to be frozen in time.

Why did she have to die? Why did she leave me all alone?

Why must she abandon me here in this barren land of awful nobility and exaggerated performances? Why Can't I just stay with her where the Thunder Sakuras bloom evermore?

Of course, I knew that my father had always loved my mother... So much that he detested me after she died giving birth to me. It was a miracle he decided to keep me after my mother's unfortunate demise.

Every day, every hour, every minute, and every second of my existence. It was a nuisance, a waste of space in this beautiful world.

This is a world where I am not needed, not worthy of love, and certainly not worthy of a life.

What did I do to deserve such a life like this one that I am living right now? I know my sin well; my birth killed my own mother.

I killed the only person who loved and cherished my father.

I killed the only daughter my mother's family had.

I killed the most beloved singer of two nations.

I killed the person who gave me life.

I am nothing but a murderer.

And for that, I do not deserve anything but eternal damnation. I deserved the misery I have in my grasp, and I will not let it go for it is my punishment.

To roam this earth, carrying the guilt I must bear for the crime I have committed. What I have done is unforgivable. That is a fact.

I have long forgotten what it's like to be happy, to be sad, to be angry... to resent.

Perhaps it's for the better. How could I ever live without being reminded of what I have done? I'm not allowed to be happy. I shouldn't be.

My life is a living curse. A walking omen of bad luck. Every person, every living creature I encountered has met their misery.

And it was all because of me.

It's all my fault.

Everything I do is a fault.

I can't do anything better than to ruin everyone's day.

I can't do anything right. I'm always doing the wrong things.

Is that why the Iudex keeps his eyes on me? So that I won't cause any more damages?

Is that why the house of the Hearth has kept close relations to my father to keep in check as well? Was it so bad that even the Fatui of Snezhnaya must interfere discreetly?

Will they... take me away?

Will he take me away?

"Monsieur L/n has made quite the proposal to settle his debt to that brat..." The Knave sighs, rubbing the temple of her head. Irritation caused aching in her head, the mere sight of these marriage papers gave her the struggle to hold back and rip the said papers.

"Indeed... This is the first I've heard of such a bizarre proposal." Lyney steps forward, Lynette soon following,

"It's a literal marriage proposal, father. What do we do?"

"It's obvious she will oppose this." The Knave responds, putting down the papers on the desk, "But we all damn know she'll just suck it up and go with it."

"Poor Y/n... Why can't she just join us? The house of the Hearth always welcomes her with open arms. She's fond of you as well, father." Freminet sighs longingly, hugging his helmet close to his chest.

"Freminet, you know how fragile she is. She won't even last a second in the lowest ranks of the Fatui." Lyney crossed his arms.

"And she won't last a second being his bride either." The Knave grumbled, the mere thought of this maiden being sold away through marriage was driving her mad.

"I just wonder these days..." Lyney hummed, "What or who convinced him to accept?"

"What are you implying, Lyney?"

"I had a report come in yesterday. The Balladeer accepted the marriage proposal."

"A quiet maiden born and raised in an aristocratic family in Fontaine, yet dresses up in Kimonos and performs Inazuman songs and dances in the court. What an interesting little human."

"Well, her late mother was the famous songstress of Ta-"

"Did I tell you to speak!?"

"..."

"Hmph, anyway... You stated in your report that the locals dubbed her a doll?"

"Yes, my lord. Apparently, she stands behind her father as if she were a mere... decoration. After all, she takes after her mother's beauty- Just as you have suspected, my lord."

"Is that so? Well, investigative her activities and report to me every single detail. I don't care how trivial it is. I want to know everything."

"Will do, my lord."

"Good... Good... Until she arrives, make sure she has received the Kimono I sent to her father."

"Understood, my lord."

"Now shoo! I want to read more about my pathetic bride in peace!"

"I hope he will be as kind as aunty Arle..."