April Showers

Contrary to popular belief, I hate Valentine's Day. Ironic, isn't it? The boy whose whole life revolves around the romance genre does not appreciate the holiday of love. Romance only works when it's written on paper—never acted out in real life.

I stare blankly at the calendar hanging in front of my table. A heart drawn around Feb 14 and a written note below it made me want to tear up all the pages of the module I was reading. I didn't used to hate Valentine's Day. A couple of days ago, Valentine's was my favorite.

Valentine's Day is the epitome of my dream holiday. Romance, flowers, chocolates, letters, and all the good inventions that graced the Earth. Perfectly curated dates? A check! Awkwardly cute confession? A check! It checks everything off the good romantic plot list.

Till Cupid decided to take the worst mis-shot in the history of all Cupid's romantic failures.

That stupid flying baby.

I wouldn't be this mad if Cupid were depicted as an attractive man so we could truly test the lengths of pretty privilege in this world. Good research topic by the way! But no! He's goo-goo-gaga-ing around with, probably, a stupid heart-shaped pacifier.

I'm so pissed at Valentine's Day I'm thinking about research. That's like a HUMSS student's worst nightmare. Scratch that—everyone's worst nightmare. Ugh! I really want to pull my hair out; however, I'm not a big fan of pain.

Lalo na't nasasaktan ako ngayon. My eyes catch a glimpse of the note below that stupid date. I squeezed my eyes shut. Okay, I might not like pain, yet somehow, I unconsciously go near everything that will hurt me in the end.

I took my glasses off and opened my eyes. Ha! Take that, calendar! I can't get hurt if I can't see it. Though that plan instantly backfired because now I can't read my notes. Yes, here I am, trying to use studying as a distraction to move on from him. Again.

It's unusual how that already happened twice. Maybe I should go buy ice cream? Nag-work yun para ma-distract ako noon pero that'll just remind me of him.

Everything reminds me of him. Napabuntong hininga ako as I rest my cheek against the table while I absently stare at the blurry silhouette of the calendar.

Hindi ko nga mabasa, nakabisado ko naman.

"What do I do..." I grumble to myself. It's been about a day since that incident played out. My brain—which I'm convinced hates my mental stability, keeps replaying that memory over and over again.

Even with my efforts to suppress any wandering thoughts, it still would not go away. Let me reiterate: every single damn thing reminds me of his existence and there he was, staying in my mind—unaware of how much he had just crushed my heart like it's nothing.

Like we're nothing.

Maybe I'm the only one who thought there was something.

I felt the table vibrate under my cheek. My eyes deterredfrom glaring at the calendar, landing on a black blob atop the desk. I lazily lifted my head and put on my glasses to take a look at the black blob which is actually my phone. Kinuha ko ito para tignan kung ano ang nangyayari.

As soon as I checked the message, maybe it's hi—I quickly put my phone down. Confirmed, I really am a magnet for my own sadness.

HUMANISTA NUMBA ONE
You + 19 others

Emi:
Sinetch Itey!
Regina George wannabe and STEM Hottie spotted kissing yesterday by unknown source
Kaya wag muna maniwala kasi walang proof huhu just wanted to shareee
BUTTT BIG YIKESSSS!!!!!

I usually find Emi's gossip time entertaining. Right now, I find it irritating. It's not even her fault. Sure, she could've had the decency not to share, especially since she knows I have a big fat crush on Zyle.

Pero kasi Emi's thing is spreading information she gets from I don't know where. It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly not find it appealing when I used to foam at the mouth every time her name popped up in my notifications knowing she would have some hot tea to spill.

Only this time, that drink was poisoned. Every sip I took led to my eventual end—not being his lover. Despite the attempts and the affirmations I constantly repeat for all my intoxicating thoughts to fall on deaf ears, they wouldn't.

Tanga kasi ako, kasi hindi ako magdadalawang-isip na inumin ang tasang iyon kahit na patayin ako nito — just so I can swallow the truth that I'm only a passerby in a crowd who adores him.

Nagkaroon lang ako ng pagkakataon na maranasan kung paano siya magmahal. A taste of what it feels like to be inside a book full of cliches, one-liners, and tropes. I have come to the realization that the romance genre is only comforting when it's fictional.

In a novel, I would've predicted the next chapter. I like the consistency—the way the romance genre never fails to follow a pattern. In real life, I can't predict anything, because these aren't words written on paper. This is reality.

I glance at the calendar for the last time, reading the note written underneath the forsaken February 14.

'Confess to Apollo Zyle Sanvictores!'

Then, I ripped the whole month off the calendar, crumpling it into a little ball so I could throw it in the trash can.

"Melvyn, sweetie~! You're not going to school? You're going to be late!" I heard my Mom shout from downstairs.

I fixed my things and slung my bag over my shoulders. I was already prepared for school — I was only stalling since I woke up early.

My thoughts served as my alarm—though, it was an hour earlier than usual. Also, instead of my mind going, 'wake up you still have school,' it woke me up with 'Zy kissed someone—you could've been that someone.'

I walked over to my door. There it was — the words that kept me going written in a now fading purple ink. I quietly scoffed at my idiocy, me and that quote have something in common now. Fading, giving up on the idea of making cliches happen.

I grab the eraser laying on a random cabinet next to the door. I could imagine the innocent whiteboard begging for mercy. Too bad I am not in the mood to be merciful. I erased the words and removed the whole board off the door. Finalizing my decision.

"Cliches are overrated, anyways!" I groaned before I opened the door. Then my phone vibrates once again.

Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Good morning!
Sana okay ka lang :((
It's been days since we chatted (╯︵╰,)
Seen

The hallway of our building was crowded, loud, and probably my last straw. I generally am okay with the bustling halls of HUMSS; however, the topic was not charming to the ears. Today's constant chattering might just be the worst.

"May bagong chika sister!" It's been a while since I heard this duo gossip.

"Salt?"

"Ha!?" He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. I was also confused. What did he mean by salt?

"As in," The other stuck his tongue out. I held back my laughter so they wouldn't realize I was eavesdropping on them. Gosh, my humor must be broken.

"Eme ka sist! Enewayz, ang kalurlky ang chikaness raynao," He snapped his fingers on the rhythm of the syllables in "raynao."

"Dapat truelala 'yan hindi gaya ng fesla mo, ha."

"Hoy, wit fake 'tong ganders kong pes!" He tapped his chin twice using the back of his hand. Nag-awra pa siya, I do admit he is pretty. "Kaloka ka talaga, wapakels sa chararat mong ugali."

Bago sumumbat ang isa ay itunuloy niya ang kanyang chismis, "So here na nga ang chismis, si ikaapat na buwan at si chopopo ng STEM ay nag tsupa daw sa hallway. Bongga ang ganaps."

"Si chamita number one!? Mas patok pa ugali ni akesh compared sa girlie rodis na yun," He was in disbelief.

"Kinabog tayo sister," He adjusted his bangs while using his phone's screen as a mirror. "Ginayuma yun, surely!"

"Agreeina Grande diyan baks."

"May isa pa ackshua–" To my frustration, their conversation was cut short as the Section 2's door swung open and a smirking Krissia appeared with hands in her open jacket's pockets. She excused herself, the two boys gave way to her.

Wait a minute! Why was Krissia inside their room? At baka ang aga niya ngayon? She's always trying to be a buzzer beater when it comes to our attendance.

"Hoy, Siabog! Come back here you piece of shit!" Siabog? Piece of shit? Sandale, that voice is very familiar.

Krissia ignored the shouting. Her sleepy eyes brightened in satisfaction like the shouting was music to her ears. When she noticed I was loitering in front of the door, she went straight to me while still ignoring the fury behind HUMSS 2's door.

"You're not going to come back...?" I cautiously asked.

"No."

"Oh."

She was grinning from ear to ear to the point it terrifies me. What terrified me even more is Section 2's door burst open, the impact of the door's sound echoed throughout the hall. My eyes widened when I saw the brunette cheerleader, Seraphina.

"Ayan na si Sera ulo," She chuckled, her smirk not faltering in the slightest.

Before she could stomp on over to our direction, Kirissia pulled me inside our classroom then locked the door making it impossible for Seraphina to come in contact. Though, I could see her seething across the window. Her glare pierced through the glass, directly shooting daggers at Krissia who was still grinning.

"Krissia De Jesus, come out!"

"Already did, babes."

I'm going to slowly walk out from whatever tension was going on just now. Even the piece of glass separating the two can not demolish the traction they have. I also can't destroy my phone that keeps vibrating in my pocket.

Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:

Anyways... kung good mood lang ako, I would've gone on a tangent about how they're the epitome of hate to love trope. But no, that'll be a topic for another time.

"Bagay sila 'no?" Aizhy immediately asked after I sat down. I agreed with her with a subtle nod before resting my head on the table. Talking about romance makes me want to curl into a ball and cry hence why I'll be avoiding any mention of it.

"Mel." Aizhy called out to me.

"Yes?"

"Dahil 'to sa rumor 'no? It's not true walang nakawitness—"

"I did," I buried my head onto my arms para hindi niya makita ang aking ekspresyon. I don't want my friends to witness my sadness. I prefer not to ruin their day because of my own problems.

"Mel..." Knowing Aizhy, her eyes must be drooping along with her mouth forming the most obvious frown as she tries to sympathize with my situation. "Gusto mo libre kita ng lunch?"

I appreciate that she did not push the topic further. Usually Aizhy's nosy, too curious for her own good.

She pokes the balloon of boundary till it bursts—full of words better unsaid. Nonetheless she knows where to stand and will not cross it until she's certain it needs to be crossed.

I changed my position from resting face down to staring at her worried eyes, "Thank you." I uttered with a small yet genuine smile.

"Anytime basta wag na natin isama 'yan si Sia parang may gusto ata siyang ligawan from the other section," She said, making an air quote hand motion when she said "ligawan."

"Sinong nililigawan ni Sia?" AJ inserted himself into our conversation. Of course, he was happily welcomed.

"No one, Ai's joking around. Sia hates the person she wants to ligaw like super duper hates her," I copied Aizhy's air quote gesture which made both of them laugh.

"Di ko alam kung tama sasabihin ko pero parang enemies to lovers," Biro ni AJ.

"No, they can't be enemies, it's a senior highschool romance. It's more like hate to love." And suddenly I was okay talking about romance.

I guess when you're in the right group of people even when something distresses you, their presence is comforting enough to make you forget it for a hot minute.

"Sinong hate to love?" I crooked my head to see who was behind me. His hands slithered around my shoulder, basically hugging me from behind.

"Morning, Quatro."

He pouted, "Ba't walang good?"

Zy ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚:
Be right back
Practice lang ako :D
Also very random but if you don't want to reply that's okay
You're probably busy
Reply to me when you're free (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
Seen

"Not a very good morning today," I admitted, especially after I've been ignoring all his texts. Yes, he has been texting me since I went M.I.A. on him after the you-know-what-incident.

Quatro's pout deepened then his hands moved to cup my face, "Why is my baby sad?"

"Luh?!" A chorus of people uttered. I laughed at the judging eyes that targeted Quatro who was smiling—his vampire-like fangs got caught on his bottom lip because of how wide his smile was.

"I am not your baby. I am your friend," His smile remained, however it did not reach his eyes. Quatro let go of my face and opted to sit next to me instead.

"Rejected once again," Seth whistled. This guy can't stop whistling every chance he gets! He's definitely flexing his great whistling abilities I swear.

"Bumalik ka nga sa pagiging tahimik mo," Umirap si Quatro. "At tsaka, 'di mo pa nasasagot tanong ko, Mel."

"Which one?"

"Sinong hate to love and why are you sad?"

"For the first question, Krissia and Seraphina," His eyes sparkled in agreement. I guess our whole friend group is full of their shippers. They need a ship name stat! Siasera? Siaphina? Krissera? Siara? This is too hard.

"Sa second naman, wag mong sagutin baka mag relapse ka pa," Krissia appeared, unamused from our prior conversation. All of us were silenced by her heavy presence. We are actually done for.

"Hate to love? Hate to loathing ang trope na 'to."

"Whatever you say." Seth is the only one who's brave enough to refute an enraged Krissia. Any second now, their hands would be in each other's throats.

Hindi ako sigurado kung ano ang napag-usapan nina Sia at Sera nang umalis ako. I'm assuming it did not end well.

"Wala naman siyang highlights sa ig niya! Usually he puts his gf in his highlights pero wala, so definitely fake news!"

Thank you Queenie for having a loud mouth. We were about to have a verbal, almost physical fight between these two stubborn people.

"True wala nga si kambal sa ig niya eh," Mayi supported Queenie's claim.

"What if 'di sila? You can still kiss someone without a label," Emi argued.

That idea really stung me. If he did kiss me, that wouldn't mean we were together. To add more salt to the wound he told me that he had a crush on a guy from our section yet he kissed a girl from STEM.

"Zyle isn't like that though. I'm close to him and he always flexes the people he likes," Candy countered. Are they talking about the situation? Pause, Zyle has an ig account? How come I didn't know that...

Aizhy noticed my facial expression. She scooched her chair closer to mine then whispered, "Eto username niya." She wrote his username on my arm.

"No need to thank me," Aizhy winked before scooching her chair back to its past position.

I checked what she wrote though the blank ink was already bleeding on my pale skin. Kahit na ganon naiintindihan ko pa rin ang nakasulat.

Bubuksan ko na sana ang phone ko para tingnan ang account niya nang maramdaman kong pinatong ni quatro ang ulo niya sa balikat ko. I could see how he silently read the words on my arm. Bahagya siyang ngumiti bago tumayo at naglakad papalayo sa amin.

"Saan ka punta?" AJ questioned.

"CR, gusto mong sumama 'no? Crush mo talaga ako."

"Kadiri kang bwiset ka, kung magkakagusto ako sa lalaki hindi kasing yabang mo," Natawa kami sa kalokohan nilang dalawa. Pero naawa ako kay Quatro kasi alam kong 'di talaga siya masaya. I wish he was actually joking around—I can't be the one he wants as I will never want him.

Damn, we're somehow in the same situation. One's just more stupid than the other. That stupid is me as I searched his username on my dump account which had a discreet username so he would not know it was me—marshmellow.

——

Pollo
@zynergy

Jersey 01 wants to be your number one🪻
▶︎ 8 Letters • Why Don't We

30 posts │10.5k followers │24 following

______

He had multiple highlights that had different emojis labeling each category. The first one had a basketball emoji, the second had a sun emoji, and the very last had the same emoji he used for his bio. I clicked the one that had the emoji from his bio.

To my surprise, there was not a single image of his friends, potential lover, or even himself. It was full of quotes about being in love. Him being head over heels for someone is not news to me yet if I recall Candy's statement, he always flexes the people he likes—there was not a single image of April.

I read the first quote.

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."

That's a rather famous saying, however, he added below the image.

"Feeling the sun is overrated, I'd rather have the moon."

I exit the highlight to prevent myself from overanalyzing. Blink. Then stare at his profile to see that he added a new story.

Nag-alinlangan kong tinignan ang bago niyang story. Only for a shirtless picture of him to appear blessing—I mean breaching my innocent eyes.... haha... wow okay, he's still hot. I thought he would instantly be ugly to me pero hindi eh. I need to learn how to lie, this is getting embarrassing.

To everybody who wants the details (definitely not me!), It was a downward-angled selfie and he was sitting down on one of the bleachers. His free hand was resting on his knee as for his facial expression, he was winking accompanied by his awe striking dimpled-smile.

Regarding what lies beyond his whole face... well, he had a white towel hanging around his neck, his jersey that he should be wearing slung on his broad shoulders.

I am not going to describe that he has really defined abs 'cause that would be weird of me to do. Deterring my attention, I read the small text right that was placed above his luscious curly hair.

"Morning practice :p"

I'd like to add that his story had 'That's what I like' by Bruno Mars playing in the background. Specifically the lyrics that goes, 'You say you want a good time. Well, here I am, baby, here I am, baby. Talk to me, tell me. What's on your mind?'

Oh, I'm going to tell you what's on my mind. Dark, tall, and handsome needs to be stopped or I will be titled the most marupok person in HUMSS 1!

"Goodmorning, class," I shut down my phone habang sinusubukang kong burahin ang mental image of Zyle's selfie.

All throughout my morning class I concealed any thoughts related to him though that was really hard since we had a class all about mythology.

Ignore all that kasi sa wakas, lunch time na. Aizhy kept her promise and bought me my favorite lunch combo. We walked to the only available table when I spotted Zyle with his friend group... and of course April was there.

Even so, it seems that they've been ignoring April's presence. As opposed to the usual clingy vibes their friend group has, there was an invisible wall separating them from April who was smiling through her irritation.

I saw JC nudge Zy, pointing at my direction using his lips. When our eyes made contact I placed my tray at our table, excusing myself to go to the bathroom. In fact I really did not want to have a conversation with him.

I know communicating will make everything better but I'm embarrassed that there's a