A Not So Meet Cute

“This happens once every few lifetimes~” I swayed my body, slowly clapping my hands while Aizhy sang slightly off key.

We were at a KTV near our school. Sobrang lapit lang nito, just a road apart from the main gate. Plus points because this KTV has a very student friendly budget price. Forty pesos every person per hour is such a steal.

Inside there are multiple rooms, which by the way are not greatly soundproofed. Swerte nga kami dahil we got the room at the end of the hallway which meant no one can hear us even with the awful wall system.

All three of us can be the worst singers in the entire universe and no one would bat an eye or an ear in this case. No worries about the piyok syndrome, shout the lyrics to your heart's content. And I mean that literally, since the room we got had hearts painted all over the walls.

It even has a quote accompanying the pattern. I personally appreciate that since it came from my guilty pleasure movie.

‘Ang swerte kaya niya, kasi may nagmamahal sa kanya’ was written on the wall. Cursive and pink.

Hindi ko alam kung sinong may ari ng KTV na ‘to but I would like to know why they chose that line out of all the quotes you can get from She’s Dating the Gangster. That movie may not be a cinematic masterpiece, it still made an impact on me especially with the multiple wall-painted-worthy lines.

Pero sa lahat ng lines ‘yan pa talaga pinili niya. Over the iconic ‘I can’t breathe’?

“Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me!” I snapped out of my thoughts just to slip into another.

The lyrics caught me off guard at napaisip ako kung ano kaya ang feeling to be someone’s metaphorical trophy?

Just imagine, I’m at the bleachers cheering for him then he wins like he always does. Well, there's no surprise there. Instead of getting the medal and taking a picture to flaunt the gold hanging from his neck with that also golden smile of his.

Out of everyone there, he comes to me. Like his home, uuwian niya ako. Not sure what he will do, I get stunned. Maybe a hug or something deeper than that? Mas masikip na yakap?

Sadly, that will never happen because cue the second word of that thought—Imagine. It’s just something that is so unlikely to happen.

At kailangan kong tumigil before it ruins my expectations in life, romance, and most importantly, before it ruins me.

News flash self, a straight athlete from STEM  section 1 can not be your male lead. Especially since he just confessed to one of your best friends yesterday. Kahapon pa lang nangyari pero para bang ilang taon ko ng iniisip ‘yun. So, wake yourself up from all your delusions, Mel. Masasaktan ka lang.

“Next song!” Sigaw ni Krissia. I stared at Aizhy as Kris gave the microphone to her, the neon lights bounced off her face for a quick second. I want someone to blame, yet I can't bring myself to blame anyone. Alam ko namang walang may kasalanan, eh

I've already admitted it, Aizhy is literally the definition of beauty. She does not take credit for the stares she gets. Those stares are not of judgement, hindi ako bobo to not notice that. Who wouldn't stare at such an eye candy? Maganda na, mabait pa.

Everyone thinks that too, kaya nga siya yung muse ng section namin, eh. And maybe, just maybe... that's the reason why she's his muse.

Which is an irritating thought since I’m the complete opposite of Aizhy and Sanvictores likes her. I may not know if he likes her because of physical attributes, despite that I do not like lying to myself. I can't pretend that I can make him fall in love with me.

I hate feeling this way. I hate that I’m comparing myself to my best friend; I shouldn’t except I am. The worst of the worst, ako ang pinaka-worst na kaibigan sa buong universe. Friends don’t get envious of each other’s achievements.

“Sumunod ka lang kung saan kita, kung saan kita dadalhin!”

The upbeat song made me jump. Not this song again. Hindi ako judger ng music pero Krissia has the tendency to only sing Filipino rap music.

“Why don’t you follow my lead?” She danced with suave while rapping in front of us. Of course with her signature smirk. Kulang na lang at baka kumaldag na ‘to sa harapan namin.

“Jeje ka talaga Sia!” Aizhy joked.

As a response, Krissia focused her sleepy eyes on Aizhy and winked instead of getting angry. I noticed Aizhy cringe even though a blush slowly appeared on her cheeks.

I just giggled at both of them. Nobody knows that I like them together. However, I respect Aizhy’s sexuality so I never teased them together. That’s why I’m just a lowkey shipper.

A knock disturbed their little moment. Tumayo ako para buksan ang pinto, it was the lady behind the counter carrying a big notebook.

“One hour na po, mag co-continue po ba kayo?”

Lumingon ako sa direksyon nila, raising my eyebrow. Ngumiti si Krissia bago tumingin kay Aizhy. She tilted her head and another playful smirk appeared on her face. Napailing lamang si Aizhy.

“Wag na may klase pa tayo sa Theo,” Aizhy explained.

The lady nodded as she wrote down the notebook hinting at us that we should probably clean up, get our things, and leave. So we did.

“Bwiset, ang init sa Pinas!” Krissia complained while the sun assaulted my eyes as soon as I  stepped outside.

“I knew I should’ve bought eyeglasses that can turn into sunglasses instead of these.” Inadjust ko ang aking glasses, squinting at the pedestrian lane in front of us.

“Galit ata si Apollo sa atin,” Biro ni Aizhy.

I laughed quietly beside her. One of Aizhy’s many interests is Greek mythology and with our next subject being Theology, her punchline hit hard.

“Tanga! Si Helios ang God of Sun.”

Now they’re arguing while we cross the streets, “Ikaw yung bobo! Apollo is also a God of the Sun.”

“Mas direct pag sasabihin mo si Helios kasi ang daming God of si Apollo!”

Krissia suddenly stopped on her tracks then she grinned at me. This could only mean one thing at hindi ako sigurado kung gusto kong i-entertain ang kanyang ekspresyon.

“Speaking of Apollo,” Using her lips she pointed at the gate. “Nandiyan si crushiecakes mo.”

It was hard not to take a quick peek ngunit pinangako ko na sa aking sarili that I would move on and alam ko kung gaano ako karupok. Just a single eye contact would ruin any type of moving on in my head. I’m that self-aware.

Regardless of the ‘please don’t look at him’ thought echoing inside my mind. Stubborn, stupid, all of the above—I looked. I wanted to argue that this wasn’t the worst impulsive thought I’ve acted upon except when the time slowed. I admitted defeat.

Sparkling, shimmering, what other synonyms golden has. Any other descriptor wasn't appearing, hindi ko siya mapunto. It’s almost like the left hemisphere of my brain stopped functioning. Mr. Sanvictores was there outside of the main gate alone.

Fucking. Alone.

I usually don’t curse but this was curse worthy. He normally had a group of people surrounding him. If that wasn’t the case, he would have his athletic friends beside him. I would know. I stare at him like a creep all the time which isn’t the best way to describe looking at your crush.

Sanvictores was wearing our school’s uniform. He had the first two buttons open, his necktie slightly loose. He wasn’t wearing our school’s vest and his blazer was hanging on his shoulder. His ID was hidden inside the pocket on his broad chest. I mean just chest.

Anyhow…Typically, I would say an incomplete, messy uniform is a huge red flag. He isn’t my usual typical—he’s an exception to everything. Especially because even though he didn’t follow the dress code, he didn’t have bad boy or bully energy. It just added to his athletic vibe that everyone gushes over.

Honestly, I was not sure if I was even moving at that moment. I could not take my eyes off him, he’s magnetic and I’m a piece of metal drawn to him. That is the weirdest metaphor I’ve ever done but hey cut me some slack!

Right now, I can’t think straight. Literally.

“Mel–”

Then I heard a loud pang. My first instinct was to cup my forehead and squeeze my eyes closed as I winced in pain. Nabangga ko yung gate… and you know who’s next to that gate?

Sanvictores.

Apollo Zyle Sanvictores who’s eyes were wide and full of concern. Please, let me disappear.

Okay. Let me be optimistic. At least concerned siya? A win is a win!

All that positivity was demolished by Krissia’s demonic chortling. One day I will get my revenge on this girl. I swear if I hear one more chuckle from her I will go insane. This is literally so embarrassing and she’s laughing.

“Are you okay?”

Oh. Okay? I’m so okay. Fine even!

I’m actually so fine that I’m ascending to heaven with his angelic voice—opposite of Krissia’s non-stop snickering.

“Yes, I am,” That sounded way too formal.

“That’s good.”

This is the part where I should say there’s an awkward silence except Krissia would not stop laughing. Oh my gosh please drown me.

“I’ll be going now. Thanks for the concern,” I bolted out of there unintentionally leaving my two friends behind. This was not the meet-cute I'd imagined for the two of us. I had so many options I deluded myself into thinking it would be our reality. Of course it wasn’t!

The plan was for me to go ask for his autograph sa intrams which was next semester. After that, I would literally confess my admiration for him—No, not my crush on him, just adoration. A facade I’ve been honing for months shattered after one interaction.

Stupid, stupid Mel!

What’s more stupid is that I left those two idiots back there. Who knows kung anong sasabihin nila kay STEM hottie? I will not be risking my reputation that's already stained by my clumsiness earlier.

So I did what every mentally sound person would do. Go back. I turned on my heel to go back just to see them running towards me. Frankly, I was not focused on my friends further showing how much of a bad friend I am.

He was not alone. He was with his friends. Nothing new so why do I feel a bit jealous? Is it the way one of the girls clinged to his neck with a bright smile that can rival his or is it the way he smoothly slipped his hands on her waist, letting it rest there?

Maybe it was because he whispered to one of the guys, his lips dangerously close to the shorter boy beside him. The hands that were resting on the girl’s waist were now on the aforementioned shorter boy. Garnering a pout from the girl; a smile from the boy.

This felt like a story with a very bad representation of a love triangle, or love angle. Sandale, didn’t he confess to Aizhy? Nalilito na ako. Love square is my final guess. The worst kind.

I need to stop being a romantic fool, a boy crazy fool to be specific. Alam ko naman ang magiging ending pag ganun ako eh.

“Kala ko ba ‘di ka athletic ang bilis mo tumakbo!” Krissia complained, still she did not even break a sweat from running.

“Ang po-pogi ng mga kaibigan niya… tas ang ganda ng mga girlies,” Aizhy was starstruck. “Buti talaga loyal ako kay Karl.”

She put her hair behind her ear. She also stuck her tongue out. Napairap si Krissia, snickering at Aizhy’s actions. I could sense a teasing comment from a mile away.

“Nahiya ang plus 99 others mo!”

“Mag shut up ka nga!”

They were so close to yanking each other’s hair. To avoid looking at that, nilipat ko ang aking tingin. They’re still there, this time I was more keen on observing each individual. Then I noticed the girl who kept clinging to Zy, she had short hair. Chinita, I think?

“That girl really looks like Mayi,” I noticed. Mayi is from the section of ours and they had the exact same features. It’s uncannily similar.

“Ah! Yan ata yung kambal niya from STEM. Close pala sila ni STEM Hottie?” Aizhy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. And me? My jaw dropped, I forgot Mayi had an identical twin.

“Sobrang close tignan mukha na silang mag hahalikan,” Krissia smirked once again. At this point it wouldn't be Krissia if she was not smirking.

“Parang kahapon lang nag confess siya kay Ai-Ai Delas Ala-” Aizhy slapped her on the back, the sound booming in my ears. That was loud!

“Aray, Grabe makanapak ha!?”

“Tumino ka diyan,” Aizhy warned. It felt like she was threatening Krissia with her eyes.

“Edi okay, grabe talaga mga lalaki bilis maka-move on kaya usto ko sa mga babae eh,” She folded her arms and turned to look at the gate. Her smirk was not disappearing any sooner.

“You’re just lesbian, Krissia,” I was still staring at the group. Taking in all the details of their movement.

“Parang tahimik ka lang kanina ha?” Krissia chaffed, her arms still crossed together.

“It’s the truth.”

Finally, I broke eye contact. That isn’t even considered eye contact when he's not staring back at me. Gosh, It was hard to avoid staring at him. It was even harder to move on.

“Real nga naman pero ba’t ‘Yes, I am’ robot ka beh?” I huffed out an annoyed sigh. Tinignan ko nang masama si Krissia who continued with the teasing.

“Retsam, paturo kung paano maging nonchalant sa crush? Ano na nga yun ulit ‘I’ll be going now. Thanks for the concern?’ A classic.”

“Sia, tigilan mo nga pagiging-gaga mo!” That earned another loud slap on the back from Aizhy, “Hindi mo ba napapansin kung paano tumingin si Mel sa dalawang ‘yan?”

“Usual imagining what should have played out thoughts niya?” Tinaasan kami ng kilay ni Krissia, that comment honestly made me giggle. That was on point.

“Hindi lang siya lumulutang-lutang sa outer space. Hindi ito earth to Mel moment. Selos siya beh, jealousy in english,” Aizhy was rapping the words, fast and quick. I almost missed the fact she knew what I was avoiding to say.

I was jealous. I know I’ve acknowledged my shallow jealousy towards Aizhy earlier, this was different. It wasn’t about how I am the opposite of his type, it’s about how I can never be that close to him.

“Jalosi kasi yun,” Krissia tried to lighten the mood like she always does.

“Seryoso, ang corny mo!”

“You two, let’s just go, we're going to be late for theo,” We weren’t.

“Sige na nga kung saan ka masaya basta Mel you can say anything to us. I’ll listen,” Krissia suddenly became serious. Hindi naman bago ‘to pero mas madalas kasi ang pagiging class clown niya.

“Kahit laging nang-aasar ‘yan si Sia mabait ‘yan. Ako din syempre makikinig.”

“Crush mo lang ako,” Ani Krissia habang nakangisi nanaman.

“In your dreams!”

I observed how Krissia’s smirk finally faltered as it slowly turned into a small ingenuine smile. To the naked eye she looked normal but her eyes told a thousand different emotions. It was laughable how much I related to what she was feeling right now. Both of us didn’t want it to be in our dreams, we wanted it to be nonfictional.

“Thanks,” I cut the tension before it would cut us. “I’ll do that next time.”

I was going to walk off when I decided, “Actually, no I’ll do that right now.”

“Well, I’m mad at you Krissia!” I pointed at her. She smiled encouraging me to continue on,

“You were laughing like a maniac. That made the situation even worse than it already was. I would’ve preferred the infamous awkward silence, crickets, or a cawing of a non-existent crow! But noooooo it was the cackling of a thousand demons instead. Your last name is De Jesus yet your laugh is almost satanic, like it erupted from the depths of the seven rings of hell!”

Aizhy opened her mouth to speak. I had to politely stop her from talking so I squeezed her hand, “I’m not finished,” Then turned to hold Krissia’s hand.

“Your first giggle was okay, it was comedic. The problem is you didn’t stop to the point that I wanted to disintegrate. He was looking—staring like I was the most fragile person on Earth, not in a "Oh he's so fragile I should take care of him” way but in a "Oh this guy is pathetic” and every beat of your laugh was like a stab to my emotion balloon.”

“It was about to pop. Explode!”

I let go of her and mimicked an explosion using my hands while mouthing the word ‘Ka-boom.’

“Wow,” Si Krissia.

It dawned on me that I was a bit too harsh with my words. Ti-none down ko sana! That was unprovoked, maybe a bit provoked.

“Oh, that was a bit overboard I’m so sor-”

“I’m so proud, tangina pre first time mong sumabog,”  She copied the explosion hand-sign I did earlier with a proud laugh. “Do that again.”

“Masokista ka ba?” Aizhy looked disturbed. Her face looked animated with the amount of wrinkles it formed out of utter disgust.

“Nah, just amazed. Mel, getting angry? Astig,” Feeling ko talaga Krissia was going to do a standing ovation, with a few celebratory whistles if we weren’t in public.

I might've felt like the worst friend today but I’m thankful that my friends are the opposite of me. If they weren’t I would let myself be buried in these harmful thoughts. This day really solidified that I should give up even if it feels like a difficult task.

Move on to the next chapter, this isn’t the epilogue of my life. He isn’t the only guy that exists even if it feels like he’s the only man for me. He isn’t and I’m never going to say I wished he was ever again.