The Power of Emotions

"We lost her." Theone said with disappointment in his voice. Pinsaundan ko sa kanila si Andrea, and when I managed to caught up to them here in the City after an hour, nabalitaan ko nalang na nawala si Andrea sa paningin nila.

"Sigurado ba kayo sa nakita niyo? There's no reason for her to be here."

"Siya ang nakita namin. She was talking with someone and she seems to be in trouble. Napansin niya siguro na nakasunod kami, kahit na hindi naman kami madaling makita." Millard reasoned.

"It's Andrea de la Valliére we're talking about. She's not that easy to track down you know." Ziandra said as Theone nodded in agreement.

"Bakit ba natin siya hinahanap?" Tanong ni Millard.

"Because something tells me I have to, no matter what." That feeling when your senses are engulfed with concern that I can't stop thinking about her. Is this a bad premonition? I almost didn't want to admit it.

"Kaano-ano mo ba siya?" Millard once again asked which made us all look at him. What is she to me? Somehow, it isn't a hard question like it used to.

Nandito kami ngayon sa isang tulay, sa ibaba ay may umiilaw na kalsada with diffrrent stores lined up at each sides. Marami ang dumadaang mga karwahe at sasaykyan dito since it's a rich City, despite the growing night. There's too many people and they're noisy. There isn't a festival pero may mga fireworks na nagliliwanag sa madilim na kalangitan.

Children kept passing by our direction almost endlessly with ice creams and apple candies in hand. Their laughters and chatterings fading away as their distance grew. The steetlights were blinding, and beside each of those were benches with different people sitting. May ibang nagbabasa, kumakain, nagkwe-kwentuhan, at kung ano-ano pa.

"A friend. She's a friend." I answered, my gaze focused on the scenery below me.

I hardly see anyone alone in that sea of people. It reminded me of the festival several months ago in Magnus. Kung sumama kaya ako kay Andrea at Iyana nung mga panahong iyon, could I have looked at this view with nostalgia?

"And now something tells me you don't have a lot of friends." He said once again as he sat on the railing beside me, sa likuran ko ang dalawa ko pang spirits, observing me.

"I don't." I smiled. "That's why they're worth it."

"Must be nice, having people like that." Millard replied looking away. It made my eyebrow lifted, is he jealous? Millard may be a 14-year-old spirit, but he's still a kid deep inside. I reached for his head and gently shook his hair, it surpised him but still he, they, we all looked at the sight before us. It was relaxing, looking at it.

"It is." I whispered under my breath. "It really is." I don't know why I kept remembering all those memories the three of us had together. It's warm, pleasant, wonderful feeling, a sense extracting every bit of my thoughts for them. I almost forgot about that bad feeling I had from earlier.

"Seperate and go find her. Tell me once you did." I looked back at the two after I said that. "I'd appreciate it." Like I said, they might be my spirits but I hate having to order them around.

"Millard sa akin ka sasama." Theone said as the latter nodded while jumping off the railing. And a few seconds later, the three of them disappeared from my view.

I continued to look below with my hair swaying behind me, and at this moment, I have no idea what to do. I placed my arms on the railings as I laid my chin on them with a sigh. I suddenly remembered what Alvin said.

I had to run away after that confession. I don't know how, but somehow I knew he had those emotions within him. Was I ignoring him all this time? Was I just trying to pretend I didn't know? And I didn't even say anything, I couldn't face it. Hindi ako sanay sa mga bagay na ganito. Una si Thane tapos ngayon naman si Alvin.

I did fall for Thane, I admit that clearly. But that's it. That kiss ended everything. Dahil sa halik na yun, pinalabas ko ang lahat kong nararamdaman para sa kaniya, which led to my own ability generating those feelings into energy, making it disappear, making me forgetting I've ever fell for him. Perhaps if I held myself back, perhaps if I hadn't kissed him, I'm still falling for him even now.

Alvin's a different case. I only thought of him as a great friend all this time. I've only met him few months back, and we've only been together for a few weeks here. Pero paano niya masasabi na mahal niya ako? Bakit ako pa? Ayaw kong masaktan ang mga taong napalapit na sa akin, pero tumakbo ako palayo, at hindi niya na ako hinabol. But still I know he won't give up, Alvin isn't that kind of a person.

I was hurting all this time because of my ignorant, ganoon din si Thane. Tama nga si Lunox, ignorante nga akong tao. Emotions really make people weaker than they already are. I let out a deep breath as I stood up straight, snapping myself out of those thoughts. Iba dapat ang iniisip ko ngayon.

"Is that a ghost I'm seeing? Hays, minumulto na nga talaga ako. Is this a payment for my sins?" May narinig akong boses sa likuran ko at nang tumingin ako dito ay may isang taong nakasuot ng pulang cloak.

Dahil sa kulay ng cloak niya ay pati ang ibang tao sa paligid ay napapatingin din sa kaniya. He took a glance at me as he walked passing by my direction, although I couldn't see his face, I saw a ring attached to his lower lip. Anyway, did he just mock me? Nawala din siya sa paningin ko nang lumiko siya sa dulo. I sighed once again. Too many troublesome fellows.

"Keila! Makinig kang mabuti—ah Millard, ang barrier mo!" He said in a panic tone.

Mula dito ay naririnig ko ang mga tunog ng pagtama ng mga weapons. May naririnig din akong mga maliit na pagsabog sa kung saan man sila. I bit my lower to suppress myself. A battle. There's a battle taking place and my spirits are fighting. Why? Why aren't I there? No, mas mabuti nang sila ang lumalaban. I didn't want to exhaust myself. I'm saying that, but I can't prevent a smirk itching from my lip.

"Nasaan kayo—"

"Don't you dare go here. Trust us, makayaya namin ang kalaban. Tatlo sila, hinahabol ni Ziandra ngayon ang dalawa pa. Listen Keila, mga Exodus sila. And I think they're after Andrea."

"Andrea? Bakit naman nila hinahabol si Andrea?" This might be the reason why that girl fled here in West, she was avoiding them dahil ayaw niyang madamay ang iba sa Academy.

"Siguro gagamitin nila si Andrea as a hostage against the Headmistress which is the Northern Saint. Keila, narinig ko ang usapan nila. They want to take over the North!" Biglang sabi ni Ziandra.

Damn it. First the Black Clan and now Exodus. Wait, was the one who attacked me back there just a distraction? Pero bakit naman nila gagawin yun? Alam nilang nandito ako sa West, and they must have thought I knew beforehand na nandito din si Andrea at hinahanap ko siya. When my spirits were following Andrea, akala niya siguro mga kalaban sila kaya nawala siya agad sa mga paningin nila.

Andrea's being targeted and she didn't want to ask anyone for help, kaya siya nandito sa West but still she was followed. Marami siguro ang mga myembro ng Exodus sa syudad na ito, hinahanap si Andrea. Pero nasaan na ba ang babaeng iyon? That girl...she's an idiot! Ni hindi nga niya sinabihan nito si Iyana.

Akala niya ba talaga walang nag-aalala sa kaniya? She even skipped a mission dahil siguro ayaw niyang sumali pa ang Exodus sa gulo. But if the Exodus were there, tiyak na magiging mahirap nga ang pagkuha namin pabalik ng information. Literally saying that girl saved us all the trouble. But now she's in trouble herself.

Kilala ko si Andrea. Ayaw niyang madamay ang iba dahil lang sa kaniya. Lalong-lalo nang ayaw niyang pahirapan si Headmistress. She didn't want to stain her mother's name further. Ano nalang ang sasabihin ng mga tao kung nakuha ng kalaban ang anak niya at gagamitin siya laban sa kaniya? There's no doubt that woman will choose her people more than her own daughter.

Andrea may die and it won't matter as long as her people aren't harmed. But her mother's reputation will still be affected dahil hinayaan niyang makuha ng kalaban ang anak niya. That's why Andrea's running away. I've known that girl for so long na alam ko na ang mga iniisip niya.

"Describe them."

"Red cloaks. They're wearing red—"

I cut off the connection and immediately dashed to the end of the paved roads. Red cloaks. I was so sure they'd wear blacks, pero siguro ayaw nilang magmukhang mga meymbro ng Black Clan. But red. If I had known beforehand hindi ko na sana hinayaang lumampas pa sa akin ang lalaking iyon.

Where is he? Lumiko ako sa isa pang eskinita pero hindi ko siya nakita doon, with his red cloak it should be easier to track him down. Pero puno lang ng mga tao ang lugar na ito. Lumiko pa ako sa isang daanan, but like before it was filled with different painted walls from each double-layered houses.

I continued running ahead hanggang sa may nabangga akong bata. The kid was holding a yakisoba in a small pack at muntik na itong mahulog, mabuti nalang at mabilis akong umaksyon at sinalo ito. I sighed in relief. I hate dealing with kids so it'd be troublesome if it fell.

"Wow ate, ang galing mo naman." Bilib niyang sabi habang kinuha ang yakisoba sa kamay ko.

Yakisoba is a stir fry-noodles dish with pork and sometimes chicken, also with vegetables, and it's seasoned with a sweet and savory sauce. It's popular especially for kids back from Arizole. Hindi ko inaasahan na may ganoon din dito. It's been ages since I last tasted one.

My eyes widened as I shook my head immediately. Wala na akong oras alalanin ang nga bagay na ito. And more importantly I have no more time to deal with with this kid. Aalis na sana ako nang biglang inabot ng bata ang dulo ng itim na cloak ko. Napatingin ulit ako sa kaniya havang mas hinigpitan niya p ang pagkahawak ng cloak ko. Now what?

"Ate, ate kasinggaling mo yung kuyang dumaan kanina! Alam mo ba? Nasalo niya rin ako nang mahulog ako mula sa ikalawang palapag ng bah—"

"Nasaan siya pumunta?" I asked, cutting off his sentence. Nabigla yata siya dito pero binitawan niya narin ang cloak ko at napaisip.

"Sa may direksyon papunta ng parke siya pumunta. Siya nga ang nagbigay sa akin nitong ya—"

"Ano ang suot niya?" He frowned. Still, like I said I have no time to deal with him.

"Pulang cloa—" I turned around then and was ready to leave. "Teka lang!"

I was about to run away when the boy called out. I annoyingly glared back as he stepped backwards in surprise. Dahil sa appearance ko mahirap ngang hindi matakot. Lumabas ako ng malalim na hininga at lumapit ulit sa bata na mukhang iiyak na. It's not my fault this is my appearance.

"Look, I'm sorry but I'm in a hurry. So if there's something you need, then tell me." Pinantayan ko ang lebel ng taas niya at nilagay ang kamay ko sa ibabaw ng ulo niya, he finally calmed down.

"Um...ayaw niya kasi itong tanggapin," tumigil muna siya at may kinuha sa bulsa niyng limang copper coins at tsaka ko naman ito kinuha. "Pupuntahan mo iyong lalaki diba? Pakibigay nalang sa kaniya. Salamat po ate!" Without having a chance to reply, he fled away. Tsk. This is how cunning kids these days. It made me remember Amy. Kamusta na kayang yung batang iyon? I left her under Robert's care, knowing that man surely he wouldn't just let her be.

Anyway, why would an Exodus member buy a boy a yakisoba for five copper coins? Wala talaga akong alam sa mga iniisip nila. Their unpredictable, ever more than the blacks. Tumayo ako at lumakad papunta sa direksyon na tinuro ng bata. Nawala na ang panic na nararamdaman ko kanina pa, somehow talking with that kod calmed me down when I soothed his emotions.

Nilagay ko ang kabilang parte ng buhok ko sa kaliwa para mas makita ng maayos ang paligid. Nasa unahan ko lang ang tinatawag nilang plaza, at mas marami pa ang nga bumebenta dito ng nga laruan at iba't ibang pagkain. Habang naglalakad ako ay marami ang nagsisigawan para makakita lang ng pera. There's a stand which sells clothing lines at the other corner and the opposite side sells potions.

Pero nilampasan ko lang ang mga dumadaang tao at tumungo sa may isang area kung saan may mga slides at swings, pati narin ang silat na monkey bars, also the big treehouse. Dinadayo ito ng mga bata, kitang-kita ko ang mga saya sa mukha nila.

I could tell even without my ability how happy they are. Children really are luckier, they feel the joy of this world because of their oblivions, but as they grow up their perspectives change as well as how they see their own personal realities. Kaya siguro may mga taong masasama at mababait dahil dito.

The grass beneath my feet are swaying, along with my hair being carried by the passing breeze. It was cool and pleasant, my panic was gone, yet I can't seem to relax. The more I see their smiles, the more I feel these different emotions around me, the more uncomfortable myself become. May nangyayari sa loob katawan ko at ayaw kong malaman kung ano ito.

"Hoy may problema ka ba?!" Napadpad ang tingin ko sa dulo kung saan may tatlong lalaki na nakapalibot sa isang tao.

Hindi ko sila gaano makita dahil sa malalaki sila. Walang nangingialam sa gulo nila at umaakto ang mga tao na wala silang nakikita. Naiintindihan ko naman, sino ba naman ang gustong madamay sa mga ganoong pangyayari?

"Pabayaan niyo ako." Wika nung isa lang lalaki. It made me frown. Where did I heard that voice again?

"Huh?! Ang yabang mo ah!" Biglaang sinuntok ng nasa gitna ang lalaki, it didn't surprise me because it was as expected. Pero hanggang ngayon wala paring lumalapit sa kanila.

"Tara na nga. Humanap nalang tayo ng ibang upuan." Sabi nung isa at matapos ang ilang segundo ay umalis naring ang tatalong malalaking lalaki.

Red. The guy was wearing a red cloak. Wala siyang hood, kaya nakikita ko ang itim niyang buhok at may isang singsing nga na nakakapit sa ilalim ng bibig niya. He had a small cross necklace na nakapaligid sa leeg niya as if it was choking him. I saw him sighed and sat down on the bench behind him. Hindi malayo sa tabi niya ay may isang walang gumaganang streetlight. Ito lang kasi ang hindi umiilaw. Looking at him from this viewpoint, he seemed like a gloomy man.

I clenched the five copper coins under my fist as I walked to where he is. Bumukas ang nakapikit niyang mata nang maramdaman niya ang paglapit ko. But I was already in front of him when he did, pero hindi siya umaksyon agad hindi tulad ng inaasahan ko. He remained sitting there with an unmotivated look from his eyes. He finally looked up to my direction at nilagay ang dalawang kamay niya sa bawat bulsa ng pulang cloak niya, only to look away again with a sigh.

I opened my palm on the other hand, preparing to release my weapon. Pero bigla nalang siyang pinagpag ang extrang space na upuan sa tabi niya. Urging me to sit without even making an eye contact.

"Hindi mo gugustuhing mag-laban tayo dito Feyree. Maraming mga bata sa paligid ngayon, pero wala naman talaga akong pakealam kaya ikaw na ang bahala." I gave up trying to summon my weapon and sat beside him, leaving a few inches space between us. Ni hindi ko nga kilala kung sino siya. Why do most Exodus members know my real name anyway?

"Here, take it." Tinapon ko sa kaniya ang limang copper coins at agad niya naman itong sinalo gamit ang isang kamay niya, makakaya niyang saluin ang lahat dahil malaki talaga ang kamay niya. I felt confusion from him at first but then seemed to have realised it.

"Ah para sa yakisoba." Binulsa niya ang perang ito atay kinuhang sigarilyo, sabay nito ay ang pagsindi niya. It annoyed me how he smells of smoke. "Ayaw mo ba ng yakisoba? Sana gunamit mo nalang ang pera pambili nun."

"I don't want a yakisoba." Of course, I lied. I quite like that one. "I like teriyaki most." That's of course, is the truth. Palagi akong bumibili nito noon.

"Teriyaki huh? Mahilig din ako diyan nung bata pa ako. You should try mixing it with honey next time, masarap ito."

"Huh? Honey would ruin its natural flavour."

"Would it? Ewan ko sa inyo ngayon pero sikat ito nung mga panahon ko."

"Kung gusto mo ng matamis, lagyan mo nalang ng sweet sauce. Since it enhances the flavour mo—" I stopped. Bakit ba kami nag-uusap na para bang matagal na naming kilala ang isa't isa? We're not even friends to begin with! "Alright spill it, what are you really after?"

"You're still a child no matter how you act huh? You should enjoy life more, or it'll last before you do." That didn't answer my question pero sinundan ko ang tingin niyang nasa naglalarong mga bata. May nararamdaman siya sa mga batang ito, ano ngaba ang tawag sa emosyong ito? Enviousness? Nostalgia? Bakit naman niya nararamdaman ang mga bagay na ito? Almost as if it reminded him of himself.

"When did you stop having fun like that?" Before I realised, that question escaped my lips.

I could sympathise with the way he feels. Dahil hindi ko din naranasan ang ganoong kasiyahan nung bata pa ako. Even when my sibblings took me away from my parents, at first I couldn't even have a proper conversation with them, I would ignore them all the time. Pero habang tumatagal ay umiba din ang pananaw ko sa buhay. Ang kukukulit kasi nila, they would challenge each other and argue oftentimes pero habang tinitignan ko sila noon, alam kong masaya sila.

I wonder when did everything fell apart between the three of us. Did it start when I left the island? Or did it start from that lie saying I was never one of them? Is it my fault I became this way? O kasalanan ba ito nila dahil sa maraming bagay ang tinatago nila sa akin? May balak ba talaga silang sabihin ang lahat na hindi ko pa alam tungkol sa akin? It's funny when I think back about all of those, yet at the same time it's really frustrating.

"You sure you aren't asking yourself?" Nabigla ako sa tanong niya at ramdam ko ang pagtingin niya sa akin. Asking myself huh? Siguro nga sa akin ko talaga tinanong ang tanong na iyon. But...

"No, because I never had any fun like that." He sighed and looked away. I may have been with my sibblings for years now as well as my best friend, Jarvis. But having fun like that with other kids, it's impossible. I've only ever avoided people back at the island.

"I once had a son and daughter, maybe around nine this year, the girl, at thirteen na ang lalaki." He blew his cigarette before continuing. "But I couldn't give them that happiness. Mahirap magpalaki ng bata, lalo na kung wala akonh plano nung una palang. My son would always tell me to stop smoking and go to work para matugunan ang pangangailangan nila while I had no choice but to send him to a part-time work habang nag-aaral ang bunsong anak ko." His words are of disappointment, but his expressions showed me the opposite, he was smiling, he was happy.

"You see? I don't deserve to be a father. I stopped having fun when they died, the world just isn't anymore." He regained his ummotivated expression. Pinatay niya ang sindi ng sigarilyo niya at tinapon ito sa tabi. Tsaka naman siya tumayo na hindi parin tumitingin sa akin. "Kaya tinanong mo kung ano ang habol namin? We seek retribution." He cocked his head to the side, turning it towards me.

"Fate didn't give us any meaning in life, the world didn't give us any chances. Kinuha nilang lahat ang tanging bagay na nagpapabuhay sa amin. Kinuha nila ang tanging nagpapasaya sa amin. That's why we're changing our fates. Hinahanap