I woke up feeling the Saturday set in to our beautiful weekend, the rays from the sun ran against my skin and the body hugging me from underneath made me snuggle back into him.

He made me feel everything, when I was with him fireworks, fireflies, passion, light, everything. Nolan was my soulmate, someone I knew I could never leave.

All the time I just wanted to be with him, he's my kryptonite, my person, my partner in life and my best friend, I couldn't ask for anything more prefect.

He was someone I needed to be around, someone I enjoyed and someone I loved, and I was ready, I was ready for the rest of our lives together.

"I love you", I kissed his lips, knowing every single day I would be grateful for an entirety to him, he changed my life and brought me happiness. My doctor was on the way to go to her clinic, which meant that I would get the go-ahead that everything was okay in just a mere 20 minutes.

"I'm ready to be a mother of our child, I'm ready to have a little us running around and I'm ready to go on this journey with you", I whispered to him, preparing to tell him,  today was the day I would get my results back.

"Good morning my love", he said and he yawned, and kissed my forehead cuddling back into me, I'm guessing he heard none of that.

"Hi...", I said looking at him confused and he turned around, kissing me lightly on the cheek. As I moved my stomach my lower abdomen started screaming out in pain, he noticed my discomfort and assisted me.

"Are you okay?", he asked and adjusted the pillows, I nodded my head, biting my lip.

"I think it's just old age", I laughed, feeling the pain heighten, he smiled at my joke and kissed my lips.

"You're 23, what aging could you do?", he asked unbelieving my reason for this unexplainable pain. I rubbed circles against my abdomen, trying to relieve the pressure.

"You slept well?", I asked him, stretching my arms to the headboard. I rolled over onto his warm chest and he smiled at me.

"How could I not sleep well, I have a beautiful woman next to me whom I love very much and a view of a mountain from this bed", he kissed me lightly on my lips, and caressed my wisps of hair along my face. He slipped a pair of shorts on the ground on and grabbed a blanket from the closet.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about", I propped myself up against his chest and traced the dips. He looked intrigued as I kept my eyes away from him.

"You're already divorcing me, I thought we would last until we're both forgetting our glasses everywhere and playing bingo", he cutely said and I chuckled at his vision.

"I don't think you'll ever stop working, you'll be adding extra zero's to peoples accounts and asking for paper copies", he laughed at my idea of him. I could see us both playing bingo, sitting on a deck facing a sunset, but most importantly I could see us still being madly in love, just like we are today.

"So you are divorcing me? It's a shame for you, I was just about to rip up our prenup", he said and I chuckled at his question.

"Well now that you say that I may as well stay", I shook my head and he agreed.

"And besides unless you really hate me, then I would let you go, if it's something else than we can work on it, because I believe that our love could never be ruined by anything", he kissed me strongly, pressing his top lip against mine roughly.

"I have turned you into a cheesy guy", I rubbed my finger against the tip of his nose, slightly.

"Only for you, my dear", he pulled me into his embrace.

"I would never divorce you, if you're curious, how else would I find a rich billionaire to afford my fancy lifestyle", I kissed his lips lightly, feeling the pain rush through me.

"Yeah right, I'm the one with a fancy lifestyle you're the girl who uses coupons and cash back, I never worried about those things", he said knowing he wasted money solving all of this rather than working.

"It's always good to save", I told him and he nodded his head, I loved the way that we both rubbed off on each other.

"You really made me a better person, you know that right?", he asked and I looked up at his sincere eyes, he thanked me for his awakening of the world but really I just guided him to see the world for how it really is beautiful.

"I helped you, but you did it all on your own", I complimented him as he brushed himself off and gave me the credit.

"You made me better, too you showed me I could love, let people in to meet the 'ice princess", he laughed at my recollection of that old forsaken name.

(so you won't understand this cause well I'm rewriting the first book and this is one of the jokes, cause I'm kinda making Natalie more mean and cold towards Nolan and so he calls her the ice princess)

"You'll always be my ice princess", he kissed the top of my head as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"What was the thing you were going to tell me?", he asked and I began to prepare myself to get up and explain to him our future life, with many little us's running around.

My side winced and he let me back down, against the pillow.

"Where does it hurt?", he asked propping himself on the bed and he looked worried as he pointed to the areas and I winced at which one hurt.

If I was about to start my period, I would be frustrated, our weekend of sex ruined, unless he wanted to have ketchup sex. Not an option at all.

I swore at the pain and lifted myself up against the headboard, feeling my head ache and I pinched myself as the pain tore through.

"Right here", I muffled and his magical hands massaged my core, trying to make it not give me as much pain as this could. I grabbed a pillow and stuffed it in my mouth, hopefully not to let my tearful screams roar through the footage and the forest.

"Let me go get a heating pack", he said and rushed out of the bed. I felt the pain soar through my body as I tried to sit up. I heard the rustling from the cabinets and I knew Nolan had no clue what he was looking for and surely where this item was. I got up to call him back to bed, I would just tell him it didn't hurt and hopefully he would lay back down in bed.

I heaved through the pain and moved slowly out of the covers, when I saw the bloody bed and sheets, that were under me. Tears started flowing from my eyes and everything felt cold and numb around me.

This wasn't normal blood, not at all, I fell back on the bed and grabbed the phone. Tears gushed from my face and Nolan rushed back in as he heard my unexpected tears rush down.

I was having a miscarriage for the baby I didn't even know I had, he rushed over to me and held me as I collapsed into his arms. 

I couldn't feel my skin, my face, my fingers were numb as tears rushed from my face and I hovered into Nolan's side. Everything was blank around me, after everything in life, this was what I wanted. This was what I needed

"I'm so so s-sorry", I cried as he spoke on the phone, he kissed my head and I could see the fear behind his brave eyes.

"There's no need to be sorry, babe", I felt numb as the words spoke from his blurry face, I couldn't feel my own weight as the tears spilled over and over. He saw my fingers twitching and my arm shaking and all he did was hug me, that feeling of comfort and warmth in such a distressed moment was all I needed.

A mix of noises of shouting and whirring above our special home, was the mix of confusing and uncertain moments, until I fell back on the white stained bed.

The phone rang, the phone call I had been waiting for helped me close my eyes, to try to relieve the pain.

for anyone interested in some teen drama or dating life
you're probably like Lexi SOMETHING SO DRAMATIC JUST HAPPENED IN THE BOOK AND YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH A FUCKBOY

yeah yeah that's exactly what I wanna do.

anyways so this boy he texted me over the weekend to hangout and I had to say no cause COVID cases are really bad and my family is around immune compromised people and so I said no and then he was being all bitchy like fine I'll just invite Melissa over (she was the inspiration for Melissa/she-devil /Natalies step-mom which is now dead) and so then he just didn't talk to me and I mean now I'm like do I even like him noo I don't like him he's hot, very hot and like sometimes he could be nice but like rn he's being cocky and a jerk so I'm done with him

PLS SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICE

I'm done talking to him but that doesn't mean I'm done thinking/dreaming about him I may write some stories about him idk he was hot, cute and romantic but a jackass so like uh

how do you guys think Natalie is gonna react?

how do u want her too?

what's in the future for me as a writer
idk if some of you have noticed but I've been kinda bored lately, well not bored with this book just writing at like one book at a time I have so many ideas and I can't wait to share them with you which is why I'm finishing up this story quickly I don't want this series to be the only one that blows up I want to make more enjoyable books with less violence definitely and my writer mind just gives me ideas everyday and I have a couple and I'll probably include a preview of the beginnings of each of them and I'm really excited about just all of them I don't know what to pick anyways hope u guys aren't crying anymore love u

xoxo, lexi