A cold breeze blew through the room, causing you to shiver and curl up underneath the light blanket. You hadn't been able to change clothes since you were kidnapped, so not only were they stained with blood, but they were more fit for the tropical weather of Kyogi. The shorts you had on didn't exactly provide protection of the cold Yorknew weather.

You slowly slid off the bed, cringing at the creaking noise it made with each move. You were surprised it didn't wake anyone up.

Or at least you thought.

You felt a tug on your side and winced, looking down you didn't see anything at first. But then, the slight glimpse of a needle lodged into the skin of your abdomen where your stitches were.

In the blink of an eye, the pink-haired girl from earlier, Machi, was behind you, some kind of nen string wrapped around your wrists.

"Where do you think you're going? Trying to run off again?" Machi hissed, whispering in your ear before quietly opening the door and shoving you outside as to not wake the other girls.

You shook your head in response. "I-I couldn't sleep. I was going to go walk around or something. I'm not trying to leave." You took a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing as you stared at Machi. She had a threatening aura about her, and it scared you.

"Just because everyone here is dumb, doesn't mean I am, Y/n." Machi hissed and tightened the string around your wrists, causing you to wince in pain. "You already betrayed us once. You probably found some way to hide your memories. How am I supposed to think you won't do it again." She pulled you closer to her and raised her hand, landing a blow to your stomach.

You gagged and doubled over, stumbling back.

"That was a warning blow. If I find out you tried to escape, I'll make you wish I finished you off here." She growled and retracted her nen strings, leaving you clutching your stomach in the hallway.

Why does she hate me? I didn't do shit to her...

You struggled to walk, clutching your side as a sharp pain shot through your side. You looked down and saw a few drips of blood staining your shirt, mixing with the dried blood that was already there. The force from the blow must have split open your stitches.

You just wanted a place to sit and rest alone. You spotted a staircase and took a deep breath, slowly climbing up them, struggling to keep your breathing level.

Once you climbed the second flight, you stood on the roof, feeling the cold breeze blow against your skin. Despite the cold being the whole reason you were awake, it felt comforting. You were alone, finally.

You sat down against the wall and lifted your shirt to examine your stitches, wincing as you saw the wound slightly torn open, dripping blood slowly.

You tried to ignore the pain and focus on something else. You reached toyour pocket and was surprised to find your phone there.

You opened it, noticing there weren't any missed calls, which made you a bit sad. Especially because Menchi never bothered to call.

The thought of Mechi hurt. Her smiling face, how motivational she was. Everytning flashed through your mind. You opened your text messages and scrolled through yours and Menchi's conversations, giggling at some of the texts exchanged between the two of you.

You weren't aware of it, but tears began to spill from your eyes. You didn't process how much you missed her. Nor did you want to.

Some tears fell onto the screen, and you tried to wipe them as they clouded your eyes.

Everything seemed to hurt.

Could you even trust anyone anymore?

You jumped at the sound at the door to the roof opening, and you quickly hid your phone, wiping your tears and trying your hardest not to sniffle.

You heard footsteps begin to approach you, but you didn't bother looking up. It didn't matter who it was. They were going to be mad, regardless.

"You... are in my spot." Feitan's familiar voice flooded over you and your shoulders drooped as you scooted over, giving him some space to sit down.

He dropped to the floor and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, turning to you and offering you one.

You hadn't smoked in years, it used to be a problem of yours, but you tried your hardest to stop for your sister.

And you did.

But now, you just wanted something else to focus on. He lit the cigarette for you and you took your first drag in years, immediately coughing like a dying horse.

Feitan just smirked and chuckled at your struggles. You glared at him, trying to catch your breath.

"What's so funny?"

"You obviously not smoke." He chuckled and took a drag of his own cigarette, blowing the smoke the opposite direction of you.

"I used to... I quit for her." You sighed and shook your head, trying to hide your sniffles. "But I guess there's no use in that anymore." You shook your head and look down, mostly to hide your tears. You were beginning to lose hope.

"You must love her..." Feitan sighed and stared off in the distance. "That's what separates you from us. You have someone to care for. You have a purpose. We... we're thieves. Our purpose is to steal... and protect Chrollo." He took another puff of the cigarette, and you watched as the smoke seemed to cascade over his face, making him seem almost mystic.

"I didn't think I'd get a counseling session from you today." You sighed and rolled your eyes, glaring at him out of the corner of your eye.

"I'm not counseling... just informing." He sighed and stood up, pacing back and forth. "I like this spot to, it hard to sleep sometimes. The city looks nice from here. So far away. So small. So... perfect." He sighed and stared down at the city lights.

You struggled to stand up, cursing as you did, and leaned over the railing next to him, staring out at the scene.

He was right. It was beautiful.

You winced and grasped your side, trying to hide your pain, but Feitan picked up almost instantly.

"What you do?" He tore your hand away and looked at the fresh blood that seeped into your shirt.

You blanked, trying to decide whether to tell him about Machi or keep it to yourself.

"I tripped." You murmured, looking down guiltily.

"I have Machi fix it, come on." Hetried to tug you, but you just stood where you were.

"N-no... I'm okay, it will heal on its own."

Feitan groaned, knowing you were going to be stubborn. "Fine, but at least let me stitch them back up. That's an order." He grasped your wrist and dragged you downstairs and to his room, the one you stayed in the first time he brought you to the hideout.

You sat down on his bed as he grabbed a stitching kit. He layed you down and lifted your shirt, revealing the wound.

You wanted to insist that the goosebumps that went through your body as his hands carefully glided along your hips and waist as he worked, were just from the cold.

"There." He murmured and pulled your shirt back down, returning to his dresser and handing you some ever-familiar black clothes. They were almost exactly like the first ones he gave you, but more your size. You looked at him with a guilty look.

"I'm not taking more of your clothes."

"No. These one yours. Take them." He growled and shoved them in your face, turning around as you changed.

It was tiny little gestures like that, turning away to respect you, offering you clothes, carefully stitching you up, that made some little part of you nag and nag, insisting you still felt something for him.

And Maybe you did.

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AN: heyyy, sorry this took so long, I've been kinda busy Christmas shopping and shiii, so yeah. Idk what to say for today's AN, besides one thing.

So do yall want a Christmas special instead of a q and a because I feel like thag would be better <3 anyways, drink, eat sleep, love yall, Stan Mitski for clear skin