Cedric's POV:
I feel like (Y/N) is different than I remember. I thought she would join us in the workshop for Sofia's homework but she stayed in her room. I only had that feeling because was known for breaking the rules, especially with me because we both broke a lot of rules. I suppose she just wants Roland's trust back. I can't blame her. I want the same for both of us. I miss having her as my apprentice. I need to see her.
I asked Cordelia to take over Sofia's homework assignment while I went to see (Y/N). She's just been so sad and I hate seeing her like that. I went to her room to see her lying on her bed completely still. I didn't walk in, I just looked through a crack in the door. I was ready to knock on the door when (Y/N) decided to speak her mind about how she feels.
'I tried so hard my dear to show that you're my every dream. Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme. A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart. Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart? Another love before my time made your heart sad and blue and so my heart is paying now for things I didn't do. In anger, unkind words are said that make the teardrops start. Why can't I free your doubtful mind, and melt your cold cold heart?'
She really just wants her family's trust back and their love and approval. I think that's all she's ever wanted. She never talk too much about her past because it wasn't any better than mine. At least that's what I've gathered. What did happen exactly? All I know is that she was neglected after her father died but what was it like? I can't ask because she never wants to open up about it. But I could use Calista's Looking Back Glass. That will answer my questions.
I asked her if I could use it first and she let me. So, I went to her room and told the mirror that I wanted to see highlights of (Y/N)'s life to get an idea of what happened. And I went into the mirror to see every detail. I think where I am now is a few years after the father died in the village. But I'm not seeing (Y/N). I soon did. I watched her run around the village with bread, books, flowers, and what looks like school supplies. I assumed that she was going to school but no. She was making deliveries!
That's a lot of things to deliver. I followed her around. The school supplies were for the school, the flowers were to anyone who ordered them, bread to anyone who asked the day before and the books were for the library. She looks around seventeen in this memory. Everything just went fast as I watched her work. She has maybe every job in the village! The poor girl is overworking herself. It was night by the time she went back to the shoe shop where she used to live with her mother and Sofia.
And they didn't even welcome her home until maybe an hour after she came back! She really was invisible. I feel so bad for her. She's doing all the hard work and they don't even notice her. The mirror fasts forward her life and it was all the same until we stopped at when she was about nineteen or twenty years old. She had a present for her mother. It was a necklace that she used all her savings on. What I find heartbreaking is that those savings were labeled 'Hexley Hall'.
She used the money that she was supposed to be for sorcery lessons for a necklace. That's quite a sacrifice in my opinion. But Miranda waved off the gift because Sofia gave her something handmade. Sad, she left the shop and sat outside. If I could, I would've comforted her but she can't see me. That's how the Looking Back Glass works. She won't be able to see or hear me. But I could hear how she feels about this world she lived in.
'When somebody loved me everything was beautiful. Every hour spent together lives within my heart. And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears and when was happy so was I. When she loved me. Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all. Just she and I together like it was meant to be. And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her and I knew that she loved me.'
'So the years went by, I stayed the same but she began to drift away. I was left alone. Still, I waited for the day when she'd say, "I will always love you". Lonely and forgotten, never thought she'd look my way. And she smiled at me and held me just like she used to do. Like she loved me. When she loved me. When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful. Every hour spent together lives within my heart. When she loved me.'
Oh, (Y/N), you poor girl. I'm sure they still love or loved you but you're trying too hard to get their attention. Seeing enough, I left the mirror. Sorcery was clearly more than just learning something new, she wanted to learn to be noticed. Well, she got it but not in the way she wanted it. But I have started to believe she does want to be a sorceress. It's not about impressing them anymore. It's something she really wants to be.
So, I went to Roland about it to see if he can lift the ban on magic from her but he said no. Keep in mind, I was begging for this but he just argued that (Y/N) needs to learn her lesson and that she can never be trusted with magic again. Okay, time to start thinking about how to fix that. Don't worry, (Y/N). I'll have you back under my wing and we'll be the best sorcerer's in Enchacia. I promise.
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