My Past Comes Back to Haunt Me

by AmericasTrueSidekick

I was on a mission. A mission to collect a highly important package from my dealer. I will refer to him as Fro-Yo, since he doesn't want his identity revealed. Anyways, as I was walking to our secret meet up point, a certain robot caught my attention.

"Master," he said in that odd, metallic voice he came with. I blatantly ignored him, putting all my focus on getting to the abandoned iPhone store.

Ugh, ever since the humans from Earth- my ancestors- discovered hyperdrives and all that, they managed to colonize certain planets in Andromeda. They brought iPhones with them, and wax figures of their favorite dead celebrities. The iPhone was eventually replaced with "better" technology, all iPhone stores closing shortly after. This store was simply abandoned because it was never bought, I'm pretty sure the owner died or something. All I know is that it's the perfect spot to meet up with Fro-yo.

"Master Riggs, it is critical that you acknowledge my presence."

"Fine. What the hell do you want, D.I.C.K.?"

"Well, Master Riggs," he said, "I simply wanted to inform you of the unknown lifeform stalking us."

Alarmed by what he said, I pulled him into a nearby, and conveniently dark, alley. DI.C.K.'s sensors, located where a human's eyes were, instantly lit up, illuminating the alley in a dull glow. I ducked into the shadows and waited for the 'unknown lifeform' to make themselves present. A few seconds ticked by slowly, but I stayed in my spot, still as a statue

"Master Riggs," D.I.C.K. spoke.

"Yes?"

"The lifeform has fled. Also, I scanned it, or rather her, when you were hiding."

"I was not hiding!"

"If that is what you prefer to believe, then so be it, Master."

Grumbling, I walked silently out of the alley into the bright light of the Ortega afternoon. Looking towards the sun, I wasn't surprised to see its partner nearby. Yes, Ortega was orbiting two binary stars, one a white dwarf, the other a jaw-dropping blue giant. Since the larger star is so fast-aging, Ortega isn't allowed to be considered a permanent settlement for anyone in the galaxy. It's simply a place to "stop and refill" when it comes to planets. I'm only here to collect from Fro-yo, then travel back to my home planet Agdon. I'm honestly surprised that the iPhone store, where I was headed, was even built.

After a few more minutes of walking, D.I.C.K. and I reached our destination. Low and behold stood Fro-yo, his hair looking like it was on fire. Oh, wait, it was. Fro-yo happens to be a fire demon or some shit. His deeply charred skin flaked off, but I doubt he noticed. Repulsed, I made sure not to get too close to him.

"'Sup, home slice," he said in a thick accent I still couldn't name. "You realize that this particular... package costs over 50 oodu?"

"50 oodu!? That's outrageous! What happened to it being 9 quazats?"

Fro-yo snickered, "You sent word to me that you wanted more, gringo." D.I.C.K. shuffled nervously beside me. Ugh, so it was his fault I owe Fro-yo 50 oodu.

"Fine," I said, "just give me what I asked for and I'll give you the money." I slowly reached into my bag for my wallet, when I caught a glimpse of a figure dressed in all black. I instead pulled my laser-blaster out, quickly aiming it at the figure who was conveniently behind Fro-yo.

"Hey! Listen homie, I just got what you wanted! I swear to Saint Gabriel you asked for more! Don't kill me man, please! I have a wife and children!" Fro-yo shrieked.

Chuckling, I fired, hitting the black figure. "Just give me 9 quazats worth and you can go, Fro-yo."

"Okay! Thank you for sparing me!" Fro-yo quickly tossed me the bag and quickly ran away, not bothering to collect payment. I strode over to the bleeding figure I shot just a few seconds ago.

"D.I.C.K., is this the 'unknown lifeform'?"

"It appears so, Master Riggs. Would you like for me to identify it?"

"Go ahead, let's see what this bastard wants from us."

D.I.C.K. quickly moved toward the still bleeding figure, taking a blood sample and scanning it. "Master Riggs, I advise you to leave the area immediately. You shot the Galactic Princess."

"Fuck! Just grab her and take her to the ship. We'll heal her then drop her off, okay?"

D.I.C.K. nodded his head in agreement, "We should hurry, Master. My scanners tell me the authorities are on their way here to investigate the disturbance your laser-blaster caused."

"Ugh, just great. Initiate the cloaking device and signal the ship."

"Already done, Master. The Siren is on her way," D.I.C.K. replied, his voice a little nicer to the ears.

The Siren arrived not a moment too soon. As we were boarding, the Interstellar Troopers pulled into the iPhone store's parking lot, laser-blasters in hand. I waved and threw them one of my most dazzling smiles, their eyes widening in recognition. I pressed a button, closing the entry hatch behind me. One could faintly hear the useless thuds of the Troopers' blasts hitting the ship's tough exterior. When I finally made it to D.I.C.K. he had already stitched the Galactic Princess up, even changed her blood-soaked clothes.

"Master, the princess is well, I have given her sedatives. If I were you, I would remain in the cockpit until she discovers you herself."

"I'll do that, D.I.C.K.," I said, trusting his advice.

A few hours later, after programming the coordinates of Agdon into The Siren, I felt it was time to open the package I 'bought' earlier. I retrieved it from where it lay and slowly pulled back the thin paper covering it. Grinning, I gazed upon the familiar red can. Ah, nothing like a Code Red Mountain Dew to calm the nerves. I opened the can and took a slow sip, relishing the taste. Wait... Wait just a fucking minute! I had not sipped a lovely, caffeinated Mountain Dew. I had sipped Caffeine-Free Fruit Punch, and I was pissed.

"D.I.C.K.! Get the hell in here now!" A few minutes later, the Dangerously Intelligent Computer Killer was in my presence.

"You called, Master Riggs?" The robot said dully.

"Yes, where is the Code Red Mountain Dew I ordered?"

"Isn't that it in your hand?" D.I.C.K. made a creaking sound, vaguely resembling laughter.

"What did you do!?" My voice rose, "D.I.C.K., where is my drink?"

"Well, Master, I thought that it wasn't good for you to be consuming illegal substances, so I took measures to tell Fro-yo that you wanted Fruit Punch this time around. I ordered several cases of it, so you would have something to drink for later."

Sighing, I ordered him to leave. When he was gone, I opened a secret compartment in the ship I had built and grabbed the nearest bottle. I uncapped the drink and chugged down its contents. Ah, sweet, sweet caffeine... Coca-Cola wasn't Mountain Dew, but it had caffeine, and caffeine was what I needed in my system. I wiped my soaked chin with my hands and turned towards the only exit out of the room.

A pale, wide-eyed girl met my gaze and attempted to retreat. I pulled out my trusty tazbo and tasered her. She collapsed onto the floor, a loud thump issuing when she hit. I lugged her into the nearby cells. They used to hold prisoners, but ever since I took ownership of the ship, I didn't have much use for them. I simply chucked the princess in and locked the cell. Since she was here, she was probably considered missing. I could totally get some serious oodu for being the one to bring her back to her home. I waited patiently for her to wake up. When she did, she jumped away from me in fright.

"I was starting to wonder when you'd get up," I said, "you snore by the way."

The Galactic Princess remained silent, but kept her eyes trained on me. Hmm, maybe she didn't speak English. I tried to remember what I knew about the Galactic royal family. Almost nothing, save for a few things. For one, they lived many, many, many lightyears away from the Andromeda galaxy. I can't remember her home galaxy too well, but I think it had numbers in it or some shit.

"The galaxy is called NGC 3597," a sweet voice said.

"And she speaks! Bravo, Princess!"

Without opening her mouth, she replied, "I cannot speak you fool!"

It was the same, sweet voice, but I now knew she hadn't spoken. It was like hearing a tiny voice in your head. Ah, that's it. She's a telepath. I thought of some very naughty things and she shrieked in that thought-voice of hers. She remained silent the rest of the night, but random thoughts of birds flying out of their cages plagued me.

Telepaths were not a strange concept to me. Along with the invention of advanced technology, scientists dabbled with the human mind. One group, located on the planet Garzaq, was especially forward-thinking.

I'm sure one of them was like, "Science Bros, why not make a person who can speak with their mind?"

Stoked with this idea, they went to work on this new project. A few decades later, the firsts telepaths were introduced to the world. Cue the chaos and segregation. No one liked the telepaths. Big surprise, not really. The "normal" people felt the telepaths would invade their privacy, which they could. They proceeded to either slaughter telepaths or put them in special places. Cough, concentration camps, cough, cough. The scientists had an upper-hand though. Those bastards had created a gas that could change a person's brain. The details are a tad fuzzy, but everyone on Garzaq became a telepath. I guess that's one way to solve a problem, make everyone equal in abilities.

Maybe, the princess had a run-in with those gases. Maybe not. The important thing is to keep in mind (Get it? Mind) that I'm an open book to her. Some thoughts I didn't bother hiding. Like my interest in her. It wasn't hard to fall for her. She was beautiful, a perfect ten. She had straight, auburn hair, which complimented her pale skin. Her eyes were a forest green. Her teeth, white and straight. And her hips! I could do so much with those...

"Disgusting pig!" she mind-shouted.

Winking, I replied, "More like a horny toad." I laughed when she scoffed.

Over the next few days, I got to know the princess quite well. For example, her name was Parallax. Why did her parents decide to name her after a way to measure the distance of stars? I don't know, but I've been calling her Perry ever since. We still hadn't found out why she was following us a week ago. I was making myself a burrito when she invited herself into my quarters.

"Marcus, do you think you could help me?"

"Help you with what, Perry?" I asked, suspicion in my voice.

"Well, you've done so much for me these past few days. I was wondering if you could do one more thing for me..." She bit her lip, a gesture she meant to be innocent, but I knew better.

"Spit it out already!"

Perry slowly walked over to where I was sitting and took a seat next to me. She was way too close to me, and my thoughts began to wonder. Her face made a disgusted look for a brief second. She took a deep breath as if preparing herself for something. That's when she leaned forward to kiss me, only she didn't kiss me. Instead, she grabbed my face and shocked me. In my mind, I screamed in agony. I felt like I was having a migraine, but much worse than that. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying helplessly to stop the pain. I sat paralyzed, unable to push Perry off me.

"Oh, I've been wanting to do this for a while now, Marcus. You deserve it. Ever since you dropped my sister like a bad habit, I wanted to kill you. She's dead by the way. I found her in her room, a knife in her heart." I choked on my spit, surprised by Perry's words.

"She killed herself because of you. You simply wanted to put a notch in your bedpost. You never cared about her. For that, I must avenge her." The pain increased tenfold. Sweat dripped down my face, and I was on the brink of passing out. I couldn't take much more. I gurgled, trying to speak. Anything to get her to stop.

Suddenly, everything stopped. My head was throbbing, but I couldn't feel anything remotely painful anymore. I slowly opened my eyes to see why. Perry's hand lay limp on my face, and she sagged against me. Behind her was D.I.C.K., a few sparks issuing from his robotic hands. I had never been so happy to see him in my life.

"Master Riggs, we are nearing the Galactic Palace. Would you like for me to dispose of her body there?" I couldn't speak, so I nodded.

"Don't worry, I shall remove any evidence of you on her."

D.I.C.K. proceeded to take the princess away. I could see her chest inhale and exhale, so she was alive. I felt a surge of depression hit me when I looked at her.

Her sister Aurora was a beautiful creature, much more beautiful than Perry herself. I had met Aurora purely by chance. She was trying to run away. I remember the frightened look she had when she accidentally bumped into me. I held out my hand to her, relishing the touch of her soft palm. Aurora told me what she was doing, and I offered her a home in my ship. She accepted my offer graciously and we soon fell in love.

One year after our meeting, I grew tired of her. I had laid myself bare in front of her, but received nothing in return. I knew her past was rough from the snippets she told me, but I never knew the full story. She guarded her heart like a dragon and its gold. Frustrated, I went astray. Late one night she found me in the company of another woman. Aurora fled, tears streaming down her face. I wasn't upset, I felt as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I was surprised Perry cared that much about her sister, enough to feel the need to kill me. I gazed out of the ship's window, planet Tsum in view. I quickly sent a message to the Galactic Patrol, telling them that I was preparing to land. D.I.C.K. informed me that we were ready for landing. That was my signal to start pulling leavers, pushing buttons, and flipping switches. The Siren eased down onto the landing pad.

"Cloak the princess, then place her in the trolley." I commanded D.I.C.K.

The robot followed my orders without a snarky comment in return. I really should treat him better. We drove silently into the Galactic City, the darkness shrouding us. Above, the stars shone brightly. Then I saw the palace.

It was jaw-dropping. The sides of it were carved in intricate patterns, and made of the strongest material. Several turrets and towers were included into the structure, but the tallest of them all was the most splendid. I recognized the tower as the oldest, the design more archaic, more ancient than the others. I hurried my pace, if I'm not mistaken, that was where Aurora lived before she...

"Master Riggs, we can drop the princess here."

I nodded in agreement and gently placed her down. A guard was nearby, destined to discover us if we didn't hurry up and leave. I removed the cloaking device from Perry and gently kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

She didn't deserve any of this. If it wasn't for me, she would have a sister. I stood from my crouching position and looked towards the guard. He was closing in on us. D.I.C.K. and I quickly made our escape into the night. The guard cursed at us in an unintelligible language.

"Master Riggs, I have something for you."

I watched silently while my friend opened a hatch on his metal body. In it, he pulled out a red can. I took it from him, recognizing what it was immediately. I opened the can and guzzled its contents. I instantly felt better knowing that I was drinking Code Red Mountain Dew. D.I.C.K. laughed in that odd, creaking way of his. I began laughing too. Things were starting to look up for me.