i've never seen a smile that
can light the room like y o u r s . . .

⚡️⚡️⚡️

The storm that was planned to hit us late tonight scared off more people than expected. We were the last group to arrive at Shelley's place just past ten o'clock, and nobody else came after that. Her living room was occupied by maybe a dozen people, and a few were lingering in the kitchen. Other than that, it was more so a gathering than a "party".

Still, Cheyenne and I had a drink or two just because we have nowhere to be tomorrow. And Shelley Hernandez has always been pretty giving when it comes to anything, so she was practically shoving alcohol in our faces. I felt rude to reject her, so I made a weak cocktail and slugged it down, even though drinking really isn't my thing.

Getting high is more my speed, because on more than one occasion in the past, alcohol hasn't been my kindest friend. Little, innocent high school Savannah didn't really understand that though, and just did it because "all my friends drank". Finally, one day it kicked in and I realized the kinds of emotions that rose to the surface when any kind of alcoholic beverage touched my lips. Not only that, it also got me into some shitty situations I can't bear to relive.

So it's safe to say I try to avoid drinking for the most part.

"My family and I just got back from Barcelona on Monday," Shelley randomly brought up, taking a small sip from her plastic cup. Never one for silence, the girl could talk your damn ear off, like Tommy.

"Oh really?" Cheyenne participated in the conversation. I just stood next to them, leaning on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room, pretending to be interested. At this point in the night, when I've been sober around people for too long, there's only one thing on my mind.

"Uh huh," Shelley nodded. "My aunt and uncle still live there, so we went to visit them."

"Was it fun?" I piped up, my eyes connecting with hers for a second before I focused on a certain group of guys across the room.

Shelley nodded again, her naturally highlighted ringlets bouncing with the movement of her head. "It was so much fun, you guys should totally go if you ever get the chance," she flashed her 100-watt smile that popped against her tanned skin.

I smiled too, but it didn't reach my eyes because I was multitasking by paying attention to two different conversations at once.

As Shelley went on talking to Cheyenne about foreign places, and my best friend listened because she thinks Shelley is pretty, I stared at the profile of Marcus Brewer. He and a couple of his friends were in a corner of the living room, talking to Tommy, Kurt and Jonah. And I could tell by the way that they were barely moving their mouths and not making much eye contact that Marcus was dealing to them.

Marcus Brewer, known pot-head around Tatum Hills, sells a lot of drugs. He's not great on paper, but he's extremely nice. Him and my group of friends get along because well, we smoke and he sells. That's about as simple as those kind of friendships get.

I watched intently as Marcus reached his enclosed palm out and grasped onto Tommy's, conducting a nonchalant handshake. Bingo. At that, Tommy sent me a single nod which I returned, so I straightened up and downed the rest of my lousy drink.

"I'll be back," I muttered, although Shelley didn't even notice. Cheyenne sent me a sly smirk because she knew exactly where I was headed off to. She doesn't partake in my "smoking shenanigans", as she likes to call them, but she'd never judge me for it.

Placing my cup on the counter top, I ambled over to the group of boys mingling in the far corner. I passed by a few friends on the way and said a brief hello, not wanting to waste much time with small talk, then approached my guys.

I caught something along the lines of "school talk" before they all turned to me. Marcus' lips quirked up, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders in a side-hug.

"Hi Savannah," he greeted me happily, squeezing me a bit.

"Hey," I glanced up at him and smiled. My gaze swung around to meet my three friends, and I looked to Tommy for an answer. He jerked his head to the side as a "let's go" motion.

With my dad's warning of being careful in the storm encircling my brain, that was enough to keep me from going outside. None of us wanted to get wet or swept up in the wind, so we settled for Shelley's bathroom as our place of business.

Kurt walked in first, flipping on the air vent and leaving the lights off, the room only illuminated by a nightlight in the outlet next to the medicine cabinet. I took a seat on the edge of the bathtub beside Jonah and rested my elbows on my knees, watching everyone else around me situate themselves as Tommy went to the counter to roll the first blunt.

For awhile, it was the four of us with Marcus and two of his friends crammed in the bathroom. It was bigger than a closet, but smaller than a bedroom, so it got a little cozy with all of us in there. We killed time by passing around the blunt, stumbling into a stupid conversation that would cause an uproar of laughter every few minutes or so.

Just as I started inhaling for the third time around, someone knocked on the door. Two short raps that had us all staring at it, waiting for something to happen. I quickly took the cylinder from my lips and breathed out the smoke with ease, holding it between my fingers with care.

A second later, the door slightly opened and a dark-haired stranger poked his head in, a troublesome grin painted on his face. "I heard there was some funny business going on in here without me," he cooed.

"Yo man," Tommy laughed, obviously recognizing his voice. He waltzed in with a welcoming greeting from the guys, as another unfamiliar boy trailed behind him before Marcus shut the door again.

Everyone seemed to know the two boys except for Jonah and I. He looked at me, completely clueless as I shrugged my shoulders and passed him the weed for an answer. I glanced around to see everyone talking and laughing about something, except for Kurt who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed with a typical sullen look on his chiseled face.

At first, it was hard to make out the two new faces through the smoke and dim lighting of the bathroom. But when Mr. Funny Business took a second out of his and Tommy's conversation to cast his gaze on me, I could see him as clear as day.

My heartbeat remained slow, pulse steady and body temperature cool, but damn, those eyes blazed right through me. A strong jawline, an overly grown out buzz cut and broad shoulders straining against his black v-neck had my attention in an instant. I watched his eyes dart down to my tattooed left arm, the piece covering the entire area from the tip of my shoulder down to just above my elbow, which was on display by my oversized muscle tank. It's the biggest and most noticeable ink job I have, and it's definitely the first thing people see when they look at me. The others are all in pretty discreet places.

Tommy caught on to what was happening, meaning my stare down with the new kid, and opened his mouth to say something as he gestured toward me. Mr. Funny Business spoke up first.

He took two long strides my way and stopped in front of me. With an obvious once-over and a narrowing of his green gaze, his lips quirked up in the slightest.

"Who's this?" He jutted his chin out to me. Again, Tommy went to open his mouth, but this time I cut him off.

"Savannah," I spoke boldly, cocking my head to the side and looking him up and down like he did to me. "And you are?"

"Ronnie," he introduced himself with a tinge of importance in his tone, like I should have already known who he was.

I bit down on my lower lip, not realizing I was doing it until I saw his roguish smirk start to grow. It was a look that had me blinking, trying to come up with something to say. It was a look that had me realizing just how long it's been since a guy caught my attention like he did.

"Nice to meet you," I nodded. Lame.

He breathed a gentle laugh and nodded as well. "It is."

As our stare remained for a few seconds, my eyes narrowed now in uncertainty. Was he saying that to be cocky, or was he twisting my words for it to mean that it was nice to meet me too? Was he making fun of me? Do people our age even say 'nice to meet you' anymore?

I think I'm thinking about it too much. Perks of anxiety.

This time, he snapped out of whatever trance he was in and his eyes went to Jonah sitting next to me. "What's up, man? I'm Ronnie," he extended a hand and Jonah shook it.

"Jonah," he firmly nodded, passing the blunt to Marcus.

They began talking about Jonah's band because Ronnie recognized him, so I sat quietly and sent Tommy a smile from across the room. He realized I wasn't talking to anybody and came over to plop down beside me on the edge of the tub.

"What's his deal?" I asked lowly, jerking my head towards Ronnie nonchalantly as I scratched my nose to cover the movement of my lips.

Tommy moved a little closer to me and I glanced all around the bathroom, getting bits and pieces of everyone's differing conversations. "He's good friends with Marcus. He goes to a tech school like, thirty minutes away."

"That explains why I don't know him," I said, nodding in understanding. My gaze latched onto Ronnie's then, unable to take my eyes away from him.

"Yeah, Kurt and I have hung out with him a bunch of times just 'cause we have mutual friends, but he's pretty cool," Tommy explained. "He was gone for most of the summer in Miami 'cause his dad had to go there for work on an extended trip, so maybe that's why you haven't seen much of him either."

"Gotcha," I answered with another slow nod.

With my focus mainly on Ronnie, I watched him inhale from the blunt that was nearly finished, and then he sent me an unmistakable wink. It was fast, almost to the point where I thought I was seeing things because it was so dark, but I knew what I saw.

My heart remained calm in my chest. Nothing fluttered. No swirling occurred in my stomach. But I still felt something, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it yet. It had me intrigued, wondering if I'd ever eventually figure it out.

Then the sensible part of my brain kicked in and programmed me back to normal. What would be the point of going after any guy, let alone him? What makes him special? And whose to say things would ever last with us if they ever started? What's the fucking point?

Boys have never been my strong suit. That's more of Cheyenne's thing, although she dabbles in both genders when she's feeling it. One bad experience with a guy in the past and that was enough for me to put my guard up and never, ever think about bringing it back down. Maybe far into the future, when I'm not a twenty-year-old college kid, things will change. But even then I'd still be wary about it.

Whatever. Ronnie was just a passing face in a crowd of people. That's all he'll ever be.

I didn't smoke too much, just enough to take the edge off and help me sleep easy tonight. I didn't talk much either, but that's nothing out of the ordinary. Instead, I soaked in my surroundings and kept to myself unless Tommy got a word out of me every now and then.

When the group of us left the bathroom, a trail of smoke falling behind, the party had thinned out. Cheyenne was still standing with Shelley, the Spanish beauty beside her gabbing incessantly. The testy look on my best friend's face was obvious to me, her eyes pleading for me to save her.

I turned to Tommy, a smile slipping onto my lips at the daggers I was getting from Cheyenne. "You wanna head out? I think Chey has had enough," I chuckled.

At the mention of her, Tommy's head couldn't have spun around fast enough. He glanced at me, then at her for a few seconds longer. "Yeah, no problem," he uttered quickly.

"Be careful. Your heart eyes are showing," I said under my breath, poking his side which made him giggle because he's the most ticklish person in the world. He just sent me a playful glare and left me to go tell Kurt and Jonah we were leaving.

Cheyenne saw me start to walk over to her, so she rushed out a goodbye to Shelley and darted over to me. "Not worth it?" I asked cheekily.

"No," she enunciated. "She doesn't shut the fuck up. I was about to strangle myself if she went on about her pet chinchilla for another minute." I laughed at her misfortune of having to endure that conversation, sending a quick goodbye on the way to the front door to Shelley so I wouldn't be too horrible of a guest. After all, we made her entire bathroom suite smell like weed, but then again it might take her awhile to find out because she tends to be a pretty dense person sometimes.

When we made it outside, back into the swampy heat that only lessened a little bit due to the storm ending, Cheyenne spoke up again. "Who were those two guys that walked out with you? I didn't recognize them."

"I think the one's name is Julian, I didn't talk to him," I shrugged, and she continued to stare at me with her thick brows knitted together. "The other one was Ronnie. In the black v-neck."

"Ah, got it," she nodded now, a smirk turning her mouth up. "I saw those broad shoulders from across the room and I thought my underwear was gonna fall to the floor. Did you talk to him at all?"

I almost choked at her sudden switch in sentences, the first one making me stifle a laugh. "Yeah, we just introduced ourselves. Tommy said they hang out sometimes because they have mutual friends. He goes to a tech school close by, I think."

"Sav, he's hot. Are you gonna call dibs? If not, I will," she said shamelessly, running a hand through her hair that was starting to frizz in the slightest from the weather.

"I don't even know him," I scoffed. "What if he has a girlfriend? What if he's crazy?"

"You didn't say no."

My cheeks reddened at the smug look on her face, realizing she was right. "Okay, yeah. He's hot. But you know me; I'm incompetent when it comes to guys. Not to mention, I still don't really want anything to do with them for awhile," I explained in a small voice, and Cheyenne nodded thoroughly.

"I know. Just wondering if that one person is going to come along and change your mind," she mused, one side of her lips curled into a smile.

"I doubt it."

"You know-"

The rest of Cheyenne's sentence never came, because the front door opened and out came the rest of our friends. Tommy looked between us, puzzled by our abrupt silence, but not thinking twice about it. He stepped through us and led the way to the car, the four of us following behind him.

I went to bed that night without a single nightmare interrupting my sleep.

⚡️⚡️⚡️

A/N - a boy!!! what do y'all think of him?? is he gonna stick around for awhile idk maybe or maybe not we'll see!!! lemme know if you have any other thoughts about what's happening. tbh i got like 4 hours of sleep and it's christmas eve and i cannot think so idk what i'm saying.

i went to see my friend's friends band last night called patent pending like 2 hours away from me and we sat on the side of the stage for the show and it was soooo good omG. they're hilarious and so entertaining and i suggest you give them a listen if you like goofy pop punk (sort of in the likes of blink 182 and new found glory). anyway that being said i'm super tired and i can't believe it's already freakin' christmas. idk what to do with myself.

merry christmas to all y'all who celebrate it!!!!! thanks soooo much for reading!!!! love ya lots.

song: you had me at hello by a day to remember

image: lighter (haha get it ha)

xoxo, sabbbycat