“There were a few cops here and there, but nothing too extreme for us to take on.”

She announced cheerfully, her voice muffled out by the half chewed garlic bread in her mouth. I ran my smooth hand through the long wild grass dancing to the fleeting breeze, listening to the occasional flipping of the colourful books as Clara turned the pages admiringly. 

Oi, brat.

My dark alert eyes abruptly rose from nature's version of the Mexican wave that was in progress of reclaiming the ruins of the once holy prideful church, catching sight of a little dark mongrel that sniffed and wandered onto our temporary territory of wreckage.

Now haven't I seen that little Corso before?

Come on.

Get yourself together for fuck’s sake…

“Are you really fine with doing this?” Ruth’s eyes shifted at me once more, those questioning orbs of hers captured mine, “The Militaries will kill us if we’re captured. Aren’t there other things you wanted to do?”

The usual harsh retort lined up at the rim of my lips, but the black Corso pounced onto me before they could be released into the spring-like atmosphere, prompting a thread of cursing under my breath.

Fuck, why won’t the blood stop?

“We can keep it, yeah?” Ruth’s eyes widen to extreme measures, observable hope glistening in her shiny orbs. I’ve never seen her so happy before as she glanced down at the dark furred roaming dog, who continued to sniff about the rubbles. “He can be our fellow colleague.”

I frowned, giving her another Are you serious? look like I've always had. Ruth was always spouting nonsense, it was hard to tell if she was joking or actually serious.

Talk to me, Hazel.

 “We can be cohorts in crime.” I practically read Clara’s butter smeared lips as the next phrase left her, “A family! How does that sound to you, Hazel?”

A family?

A family.

A flood of mixed emotions, cheesy and embarrassed ones I was always too shameful to admit clogged my hardened throat, my eyes glistening while the young girl's spoken words rebounded off the thick walls of my head. Even with all the mental strength I had to keep my poker face expertly plastered on, the muscles of my mouth gave in and curled into a lifting smile behind my dark strands.

Before I could even analyse my own impulsive actions, I lurched over and threw my arms over both the girls, embracing them. The grass continued to rustle and sway on as if nothing had happened, and Ruth and Clara struggled under my trembling arms, wandering how hard I must have hit my head when I went out for my shift this morning.

“Thank you…” I mouthed silently, my nose sniffling. “Thank you.”

I didn't know specifically who or what I was whispering my words of gratitude towards anymore. Maybe it was the dark Cane Corso known as Diablo in the near future that would wag his tail happily as it wandered the filthy streets with us, a proud pupil we taught how to sprint out of an angry baker's with a few bread rolls in his jaw. Maybe it was Ruth and her comic books and silvers that kept our spirits up, or just Clara's simple yet brightening grin as she suggested the treasured word ‘family’ I’d almost forgotten the existence of.

Oh, how I missed them all.

I just wanted to see them smiling and eating and talking and doing all the shit they used to do so happily. I just wanted to see their smiles again, their real living smiles again.

I just wanted this moment to last forever.

But it didn't.

Only for a moment, only for one beautiful moment could I hold them, breathing and squirming before my lids fluttered open again and I caught sight of the familiar darkness, greedily feasting away on the sight of the church and its fallen rubble.

Hazel, you have to keep fighting no matter what.

Must I fucking repeat myself again?

It engulfed my entire vision, even the girls under my arms like a spreading virus before I could even utter a shrill shriek.

And it slowly drowned me in its murky heightening currents, its hauntingly dark currents of nothingness.  

_____________________________________________________

Hey, remember when you used to read to me?

Grimm Tales or some shit when I was still sleeping in the recovery ward?

And of course, as the brat you are, you would always fall asleep before finishing a chapter off?

Remember?

My eyes crinkled up as I smiled up admiringly at the snowflakes gracefully descending from the silver heavens above. Without a second thought, my tongue unrolled out and I recoiled to the anticipated icy numbing sensation as the white speckles landed on with its persistent graceful style, immediately melting as it made contact. 

Ruth Jnr the Third, my little re-rebuilt snowman friend, stayed forever still, camouflaging with its complimenting white backdrop. Its rocky dead eyes stared back at my dark living ones, the orange carrot bent awkwardly at the position where the nose was meant to be, threatening to fall off any second now.

So you stay up with me and finish the book off.

That’s a command.

You hear me?

Little speckles of ice shavings dusted the top of my beanie and the dark splinters of Levi's hair as he strolled in front of me, leaving a nice set of footprints singed across the once perfect undisturbed ribbon of land for me to trace and have a little game of good old hopscotch.

"Um, Levi?"

"What?"

"Thanks..."

"For what?" He rumbled bluntly, and I caught his messy white coated strands giving way to the passing winter breeze. 

"For ... being here I guess?" I laughed childishly. White flecks of snow particles lifted into the air as I dusted the accumulated snow off my shoulders.

"Whatever." 

We witnessed the snow fall from the silver skies ever so tranquilly, dressing the entire world in pure innocent white. It was all so beautiful; it was hard to believe something so spectacular would be something so simple.

Man, gotta love winter.

“Hey short stack,” I released my own cloud of warm breath swirling in the icy winter air again. The thought had just slapped me across the face, and the aftermath stinging feeling plagued across my skin, sinking deeper and deeper like ripples on the surface of a disrupted pond.

Why hadn't I realized all this time?

"Have I told you yet, Levi?" 

My stroll slowed down to a halt, and the words scrambled over my tongue like directionless rats. I’ve read enough about it in the books and everything, but it was a lot different doing it in real life. This feeling, even I had no words to describe it. The short words drifted out evenly in their famous unseen form, yet it was all there. 

"I love you." 

Three simple, yet so naked words emerged from the shelter my cold numb lips provided. The three short words that consisted of one to four letters that was close enough to describe this disturbing little feeling thriving within my freezing vessel.

Surely you would have read one of these scenes before too. They’re practically EVERYWHERE.

I didn't expect an answer from him, since I knew quite well I wasn't getting one.  

Listen. I have something important to ask you when we get back.

So promise me you’ll stay awake till then, capiche?

His dark raven hair ruffled in the passing blood setting breeze that brought along the element of coldness, and I dug my hands deeper into my coat pockets. A little sad smile crawled up to my face as I recognised the same darkness swirling far off in the distance, standing out in the white winter wonderland backdrop. 

It ate its way into this scene as well, replacing all the white beautiful snow with its hollow emptiness. 

The snow crumbled under my boots as I tore through the ice, my fingers outstretched for the corporal standing before me. 

My bitter tears froze in its trickling tracks at the corner of my damp eyes. The white of the snow dimmed bit by bit as the gloom chomped away, leaving its dark shade behind.

Don’t cry, Hazel. Come on, don't cry.

“I love you.” I repeated once more to his back, my quiet voice trailing off to nothing as the grave silence crawled back in to reclaim their territory, except for the beating of my heart as I measured the amount of space the same darkness had covered in such a short time. My fingertips ran over the back of his furry warm coat, and his warmth felt so ... illusionary. So cardboard like. 

His small imprints on the crystal white snow had slowly faded out, and snowman Ruth the Third had completely vanished, leaving no trace of its previous existence.

Levi, who stood in front of me, had disappeared too. It was just me, and my little white circle of remaining snow, which eventually shrivelled and shrunk in size. The darkness continuously devoured the white scenery apocalyptically, multiplying, overtaking, slabbing its murky colour all over the picture-perfect image of the winter wonderland.  

It was always the darkness that came.

And it was here again.

Hazel, can you hear me?

I love you.

___________________________________

[A/N]

I apologize for how confusing this chapter turned out to be. Gomenasai... I'm open for your bucketful of rotten tomatoes, and definitely for the waveful of questions. I promise you, I will get the next chapter up possibly ... tomorrow (if I'm happy with it). I hope it'll answer all your questions about this chapter. If you guys haven't picked up already, both of these scenes were from previous chapters of the book. Memories. Happy ones. I think I should just point it out now *runs and hides again

Anyways, thank you all for reading. And I'm out for today.