"Alright, alright!" Chi yelled out. "Please, can we go back now?" Levi glanced down at her with a strange expression, but pulled away and brought her to a horse.

"Ride with me," he offered, his hand extended for her to take hold. Her heart fluttered in her chest, but she gladly took it and he hoisted her up onto the horse. He started to climb on as well, perched on one leg to allow him to spring up and onto the stallion. A grunt of pain escaped his throat when the injury he received while fighting earlier throbbed. He fell to his knees and gripped his leg, regretting the stabs of pain around his bone.

"Levi!" Chi cried out, leaping to the dirt. She latched onto his forearm to steady him, and though he tried to be strong, there was no hiding his grimace.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concern written across her face. "Are you hurt? Why? What happened? Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's nothing," he muttered, dusting himself off. "Get back on the horse."

"No, let me help you. I can't walk around acting like everything is okay while knowing my lover is in pain." He stiffened at the word, but he neither showed nor felt disdain for it. It almost looked like a grin was tugging on his lips. "Yes, you are my lover." She smiled and poked him.

"Oi, idiot. Stop it." Levi relented, and Chi helped him mount the horse before getting on herself. It took all of her strength to bite her tongue, unable to ignore the questions at the back of her mind, but she postponed them, worried she'd make a scene if she asked now.

Riding with Levi was nostalgic; it reminded her of the first time they rode together, back when she initially joined the Survey Corps. Chi felt Levi press his broad chest against her back, his arms wrapped around her waist to hold onto the reins.

"Let's go!" he commanded, all of the horses surrounding them breaking into a swift gallop.

Over the thundering hooves, her thoughts resonated clearly in her head.

If only I hadn't been selfish.

If only I didn't leave when I did. Then maybe... all of this wouldn't have happened.

It was my choice that he is paying for, and the consequences of my actions, bring but a curse to those who surround me.

If only... I hadn't made that choice.

Despite the wonderful feeling of newfound love, anguish took hold of her heart.

A single tear fell from her eye, as if to apologize and say goodbye to the lives left behind.

~~~~~

"This place feels so... so empty," Eren breathed, washing his gaze over the gigantic house. What once housed the Elite Squadron was soon to be abandoned yet again—only to fall to ruin again, w hollow castle, for there was no one left to inhabit it anymore. A sad sigh escaped Chi's throat and rang in the air as they trudged inside.

Once they'd passed through the door, Levi froze.

"Levi?" Chi called, turning to look at him. Her features were pale and anxious, the complete opposite of his. He was stoic and emotionless, though his eyes gave away that in reality, he was suffering too.

"Come on," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Go to your room and rest. I'll bring Eren to the basement and meet you in a bit, okay?" After a few moments, he nodded and shuffled off.

"Alright, Eren," said Chi, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as she led him down the familiar staircase. His face was fallen, his crystalline gaze stuck on the ground. "What's wrong?"

"... What's going to happen to me?" he asked, slumped.

"Well, we have to return you to Wall Sina and talk to court one more time. After that... to be honest, I don't really know."

"Dammit..." They arrived in the usual chamber. "If only I had been more useful. The only thing I was able to do was watch as the female Titan killed them." His fists clenched over and over again.

"Eren." Chi turned and held his shoulders at an arm's length, staring at him intently. "It wasn't your fault. It was mine. Please, just get some sleep and I'll see you early tomorrow, alright? I promise... it wasn't your fault. It was not."

Silence followed, but Eren did as she said. She hugged him before locking him inside.

"I know how you feel, Eren," she whispered. "I truly do."

Then she turned and sprinted up the stairs, making her way down the hallway to Levi's room. Before she reached the familiar door, she stopped and fell against the wall. Her shoulders were shaking, tears frozen on the rims of her eyes.

This feeling was so nostalgic... this pain, this regret, this helplessness.

It was like that time, where she had witnessed Maki's death.

Slowly, she took step by step, she moved forward until she stood in front of the door to Levi's bedroom. Through feeble attempts, she tried calm her emotions, though her mind was too swaddled to think straight. Eventually, they did, but her eyes were swollen and red from the tsunami of emotions. She knocked on the door lightly. Immediately, it swung open, a bewildered Levi with wide eyes appearing before her.

"Levi—?!" Chi started. He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, shutting the door behind him. He wasn't wearing his 3DMG anymore, but he still hadn't changed out of his dirty clothing. "Levi, what the hell?"

"Idiot!" cried Levi. "You were taking too long." He sighed deeply, relishing their embrace, but slowly pulled away. He guided her to take a seat on his bed, and when she had settled, he started to take off her 3DMG.

"Why are you so worked up?" Chi asked slowly, carefully choosing her words. He did not respond. "...Well? Are you going to tell me?"

"There's no reason why," he answered briskly. His arms continued to fiddle with the straps on Chi's legs.

Abruptly, he grabbed her face and inspected it intently. "Have you been crying?"

She stiffened and looked away, removing his hands. "Of course not."

"Liar. Why were you crying?"

"I wasn't crying."

"Is that why you were taking so long? You didn't want to cry in front of me?" He took off the last strap.

Chi was growing agitated. "No. I said I wasn't crying. Can we please stop talking about it?"

"Tch." He went silent but rolled into his bed, groaning in pain.

"How is your ankle?" asked Chi, scooting closer to him. Gently, she reached over to his ankle. His breath hitched in his throat at the sudden touch, but it escaped in a sigh of relief. She gently felt around where it had been injured, laying it straight and still so that it could heal.

"...It's getting better," he finally mustered out. With one arm, he laid it over his eyes so they were covered. After awhile of silence, she stopped giving him treatment and blew out the small lantern, darkness settling into the room like a blanket.

Chi crawled forward and laid down next to him, bringing up his hand with hers and entwining their fingers. She held their hands between their faces, his eyes still shielded by other arm.

"...Please don't leave me," he whispered. The words surprised her, but she smiled softly when she heard them.

"Why?" she wondered.

"Don't leave me like they did." He sounded so weak and vulnerable, although more sorrowful than she though.

"Like... Petra and them?" For a moment, his hand squeezed hers tightly. "...It's okay, Levi. I won't leave you. Ever."

He was quiet for a few moments. "Fuck..."

"What's wrong?"

"If only I was a strong leader." He swore incoherently as she snuggled closer to him. "I know that I am not as good as Erwin when it comes to making decisions. Perhaps, had I not made the wrong choice..."

"No, Levi. It was my fault." Strangely, in the small light of the moon, Chi swore she saw his lip tremble. "Don't worry anymore. It's okay. You did all you could. There was no way you would've known what would've happened; regardless of whatever choice you made... I'm afraid that the outcome wouldn't have been very different. So please... let me take the blame. My absence could've influenced the outcome, and I made the decision to be foolish. It was not your fault."

He said nothing.

"Levi, do you hear me?" Chi insisted. "It was my fault. Promise me you'll believe that. If I didn't leave, they—they might still be alive. I could have saved them if I were with them."

A tear trickled down the side of his face, his arm still covering his eyes. "...I can't."

In an instant, she grabbed both of his hands and held them together between hers. She brought them to her lips and pressed them against his knuckles. "Please. Promise me. You'll never be able to live your life if you blame yourself for those deaths."

At first, Levi was reluctant, but he saw that Chi wasn't planning on backing down. He nodded, and a wave of relief washed over Chi.

"Good." She scooted closer and hugged him tightly as if he were a child. "Don't worry. I'll take on your burden for you." He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"You're an idiot," he whispered.

"I know I am," replied Chi. "Especially since I fell in love with you."

"I suppose that must mean that I am the bigger fool." Levi held her tighter. "After all, I also fell in love with that idiot."

"You know I can't take it when you say things like that." Levi rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, his hot breath tickling her skin. She shivered, earning a satisfied, "hmph," from him.

"Quiet," Chi shushed. "There are others trying to sleep!" He kissed her gently on her jaw. She yelped in surprise.

"Quiet, there are others trying to sleep," he mocked. Chi gave him a harsh squeeze. "Hey, you. That hurt, you know."

"Then shush!"

Levi grumbled loudly but settled even deeper into her arms. Chi made sure to hold him gently, caressing his cheek with her hand.

"You really... won't leave me?" he whispered, drifting off to sleep. A smile crept upon Chi lips.

"Never. I promise."

"Good... you idiot... you... promised...." And then he was asleep.

Chi sighed, gazing out of the window that let in the silver moonlight.

Why did it have to happen like this?

~~~~~

Our horses trotted through the roads of the towns, a thin path bisecting the bustling crowd that had gathered. None of the townspeople seemed to care to lower their voices as they voiced their disdain for the Survey Corps.

"Of course, they've failed another mission yet again," one man said. Just look at all of those dead bodies." Chi searched the crowd with her eyes, looking for the man who would be so cruel as to disrespect the dead—the dead who had sacrificed their lives for the sake of mankind.

"The only thing they're good for is wasting our taxes!" someone else spat.

Chi glowered at the crowd, daring them to open their mouths again.

"It would have been better if all of them just died," a voice growled. Finally, Chi's eyes landed upon the man that spoke with slicked back, ashy hair, scowling at her and my people. He threw a rock in her direction, hitting some of her comrades.

Immediately, Chi leapt off of her horse and rushed over to him. Several people called her name behind her, but she ignored them. She would not tolerated this disgusting hatred for the Corps. She stomped up to the man and glared into his beady black eyes.

"It would be better if we had just died, huh?" she snarled, jabbing a finger into his shoulder. He kept silent, but replied with a scornful look. She grabbed a rock off the ground by his feet, clenching it tightly. The crowd hushed and turned to her.

Chi held the rock level between their faces. His eyes darted from her face to her fist. "Do you really underestimate us that much?" She clutched the rock and squeezed her hand, and it shattered in her hand, turning into dust. Gasps arose from the surrounding audience as she sprinkled its remains on the top of the man's head.

"If it weren't for us, humanity surely would've fallen to the Titans by now. We are the heroes. We are the only ones with the courage to venture outside of these walls—the only ones who are uncomfortable in this cage in which we sit! My comrades have been fighting to keep not only their lives, but every single one of yours!" She pointed a finger to the large crowd.

"Those who lost their lives to the Titans were not in vain. And yet, all of you nincompoops have the audacity to criticize our efforts to save you. I would love to see you go outside the walls and try to collect intelligence, for you have none in your tiny heads. Me and my friends have trained desperately for years to find the power to protect the people. If it weren't for us, you wouldn't even know what to do. Another failed mission, you say? No. No mission was ever failed; with every single journey outside, we have obtained more and more information. The soldiers that have fallen have done so because they were brave enough to battle the titans. You can't hope for a horror story with a happy ending, especially if you won't fight for it!"

She glared even more intensely at the man, stamping her foot in frustration. "And you dare say that we are wasting your taxes? Are you truly worrying about that? At any second, even now, the Armored Titan could reappear and destroy another hole in the wall; if we didn't have the equipment because of money shortages, who the hell would save you then? Would you run? Would you hide? Even though you know that a titan would find you, eat you, and they would eat every person you loved, so that no one who remembers you would remain."

Her voice dripped with venom.

"'It would have been better if all of them just died.' Are you serious? Do you really think you chickens could protect yourself? Those whom haven't even seen a titan ever before with their very eyes? If you don't want to die, think. You're afraid of realizing what burden humanity has to carry. Every day, every hour, every second, we are under the threat of the titans, and the only people fighting are the Survey Corps."

With fury, she stomped her foot again. A small crater formed underneath her foot, cracks appearing in the stone road. "If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don't fight, you can't win! People who can't throw something important away can never hope to change anything. The strong feed upon the weak. Except in this world, my friends and I have become strong. We'll become even stronger. Because to rise above these monsters, we're willing to throw away our humanity." The man was staring at Chi with a strange look on his face. She stuck out my tongue mockingly, spitting on the ground in front of him. There was no way she could express how repulsed she was by his existence.

Then, she turned and began walking back to her horse, where even her own teammates stared at her, wide-eyed.

"Cowards!" she cried, mounting her horse again. The crowd continued to gape at her, but she willed her horse to move forward, and the other soldiers followed suite. The crowd stayed silent.

Despite their actions, Chi could feel an ember burn deep inside of her.

I will rise above the monsters.

I will win.

And I will save humanity.

~~~~~

A. N.

i quoted a lot of lines from the anime/manga here. :) hope you enjoyed reading!