i edited like half of this chapter and it took me like 15 mins and i accidentally clicked out of it and nothing saved :,,,,,) so i'm sorry that it's bad, i'm just diScOURagEd LMFAo

~~~~~

~Chi's P. O. V.~

I stared up at his slate gray eyes in surprise. Shock hit me in the chest like a brick. It was almost worse than watching him get eaten by a titan. How could I be so oblivious? Of course, it was so obvious. He had no feelings in return for me. How the hell did I even have a flicker of hope? Because now, it was completely smashed by the dread I felt.

"O - oh..." I murmured, sitting up and getting off of him. "I - I'm sorry. Haha, I was just kidding! I mean, well, I wasn't, but - but - never mind. I, um, need to go to the washroom." I hopped off the bed and ran out the door, into the hallway. Blood rushed in my ears, drowning out all other sounds... not that it mattered anymore. I ran down it and opened a random door, revealing a staircase. It wound up; not showing where it ended. I shut the door quickly but quietly behind me and started to race up the staircase. At the top was a large wooden door, cobwebs covering the hinges and the knob. Despite that, I wrenched it open and flung it wide.

As I looked out the doorway, I realized it was the rooftop. Perfect. I took a few steps out, breathing in deeply. It was night; the stars shined brightly against the shadows of the surrounding forest. Behind me the door swung shut. Surprisingly, my eyes were dry. 'Why am I not crying?' I wondered. I'd expected myself to be bawling at this point... but I wasn't.

Easily enough, my heart felt like it was in pieces once again. The only reasons that I'd been so confused were all caused by me. It was an illusion in my head that I created and destroyed, rewiring my mind to think that he was sending me mixed signals. He wasn't in the first place. It was all in my head.

I put one foot in front of the other until I reached the edge of the roof. Warily, I looked down and saw the ground so far away, four stories away. Yes, it was a castle, but the part that we used made it seem like such a small and cozy home. Emptiness surely reflected in my golden eyes. Questions swarmed my head, constantly being answered by my own:

What was this feeling I felt whenever I was around him?

I loved him.

Why didn't he return my feelings?

Because I was a merciless killing machine, a monster - and nobody ever loved a monster.

Who did he love?

Petra. It must've been. She was the only other female member of the Elite Squadron. It could even be someone like Eren. (ERERI FOR THE WIN! ❤️OTP FOR LIFE)

Why did I even believe there might have been a chance that he loved me too?

Because that was what the mind did. It created illusions all for the purpose of tearing them down, over, and over.

Why keep I keep feeling this pain? This agony?

Because I was Chisaki Matsumoto. I was destined only for this kind of fate... wasn't I?

My own parents abandoned me, most likely because they had known beforehand what I had become. I watched what I thought my second family die in the most brutal way. That way was the reason I trained so hard to become strong. The reason I bruised and bled while attempting again and again to become stronger. Now, the person I came to love didn't acknowledge it; I didn't even have a chance in the first place.

"Dammit..." I growled to no one in particular but myself. It was really true. All I was, was a burden that brought down everyone else with me. I could cause nothing but trouble and pain. My glare glued onto the sky, watching the black. My hand unconsciously ran itself through my brown strands. There was only one reason to my life; and I wanted my life to end quickly. So that only meant one thing.

I had to reach my goal.

I erased all emotion that had been left within me. At this point, it was all meaningless. The only way I could move now was forward. I'd stayed in one place for far too long.

Now, I'd made my decision. I ran back through the door and down the staircase, before exiting the passageway and beginning down the hall. I searched around until I found my uniform and 3DMG. With nimble fingers, I stripped from my clothing and changed into the jacket and pants, strapping on the gear. Making sure not to make a sound, I snuck into the supply closet and stole three extra packs of gas tanks and stuffed them into a knapsack. Rationing them would be important, but I could always return and somehow steal more.

I kept my blades to only eight; I always made sure to strike fast enough, so the blade would do nothing but cut. They didn't usually get damaged or break whenever I used them. Four pairs were plenty. As for food, I didn't need to worry as much. Finding wildlife was easy, and I'd already studied up edible plants as a part of my training.

Lastly, I found a long, black ribbon in the supply closet. I wrapped it around my forehead, tying it in the back as a sign for I had abandoned the comfort of the walls. It was so long that the remaining ends trailed down to the small of my back, fluttering lightly behind me when I walked. Just before I exited the doors, I took a piece of paper and jotted down a few words, meaning them to find the small note after I was long gone. I left it on the kitchen table, hoping that someone would soon discover it.

Then, without a second glance backwards, I took off. I sprinted through the forest with all my might before reaching the secret exit to the outside. A horse was unnecessary, for I was able to run faster than any. I slipped into the control panel, raising the gate as much as a foot off the ground. Luckily, no one was present. After, I rolled under the small opening and sighed, glancing out to the open land around me. The free, open land. No titans were present.

Perfect.

All I had to do now was build shelter and rest my still aching body.

But now, I was free.

~~~~~

~Third Person's P. O. V.~

"Chi!" Levi called as she ran out of the room. "Dammit... that idiot never lets me finish!" He tried chasing after her, but the minute he reached the hallway, all traces of her was gone. He ran a hand through his hair and groaned loudly. "What an idiot!"

He then returned to his bed, glaring up at the ceiling. 'I need to work on my choice of words,' he pondered. 'This girl... what is she to me?' Then, he fell asleep to the wonders of his mind.

The next morning, many arising voices awoke him. He opened one eye lazily to find everyone - but Chi - surrounding his bed with terrified looks on their faces. Worry began to churn in his stomach, but he ignored it and glared at them.

"What do you want? Don't you know how to knock?" he growled.

"Heichou," Eren said shakily, ignoring the questions. He handed over a small, folded piece of paper with a quivering hand. "Look." Levi eyed the slip warily, raising an eyebrow.

"What is this?" he inquired.

"P - please, just read it."

He raised a hand and snatched the paper out of Eren's hand, unfolding it slowly. The paper crackled as his scrawny fingers decreased it. His eyes skimmed through the five words before widening in shock. Frantically, he read and reread the words over and over again.

'No...' he thought. Without a second to waste, he leaped out of bed and headed straight toward the stables. He saddled a horse immediately, still in his pajamas. There was no time to waste. Panic formed in his stomach.

"Please, no..." he muttered as the words of her curvy handwriting were etched into his mind.

Don't look for me.

-Chi

~~~~~

~One Week Later~

The Survey Corps stopped to rest at a calm field where there were no titans in the near vicinity. The earlier race with the titans had barely been won - there were casualties that couldn't be repaid for.

Levi handed Dieter Petra's emblem, the Wings of Freedom. Deiter began to break down in tears, crying at what he thought was the last remnant of his dear friend. One who'd lost his fight to a titan. Levi felt like there was a huge hole in his chest; he'd just lost the entire Elite Squadron. He took a huge blow to the heart after not being able to find Chi, searching the entire forest and the town around them. Of course, he'd wanted to search more, but Erwin forced him to start the 57th Expedition.

Finding his comrades dead chipped off bits and pieces of his heart gradually. With empty gray eyes, he stared at the ground. The legion lost so many, and they hadn't even returned halfway home yet. They were so close to capturing the female titan, but the plans were ruined greatly. Luckily, Levi and Mikasa were able to retrieve Eren's body after the female titan swallowed him, but it included to losses of the Special Operations squad.

No one had time to mourn for the deaths of anyone; fighting the titans had been hard. Especially with the fact that the one person who could've changed the output entirely was missing.

Eren had just woken up from his long slumber, immediately questioning about the female titan. Mikasa denied him information, except for the fact that she'd escaped.

Hours later, everyone began saddling up again to leave when the ground beneath them began to rumble. Levi's attention snapped up to see giant silhouettes in the distance, dashing their way closer and closer. Upon close inspection, he recognized the silhouettes as titans. Coming straight toward them. "Hurry and flee!" he commanded to the Corps. By now, everyone had noticed the monsters. Panic arose in the crowd and they scrambled to escape.

"Too late..." he growled as the titans neared. Less than half of them had only started their route to the wall. The rest were still struggling to organize themselves and run. Levi drew his swords, prepared to strike. 'This will be a pain without nearby surroundings,' he thought. Pulling the trigger of the swords hilt, he pumped gas. To his surprise, only empty air sputtered out of the nozzle. His blood ran cold.

'No,' he prayed. 'My gas could not have run out now. No, it couldn't have.' He repeatedly attempted shooting the grapple hooks and blasting upwards, but it malfunctioned. "Kuso!" he swore loudly, but he had run out of time. The titans reached them. Screams echoed all around as gigantic hands reached forward for the humans, seven titans pushing each other to grab someone. One neared Levi, fingers starting to wrap around his thin body.

Suddenly, a blur of color appeared and darted from titan to titan, a bright flash glinting with the sunrays of the sky. Screams and groans of the creatures echoed in the air as one by one, they toppled over with the chunks on the backs of their necks gone. Within seconds every titan had fallen, one on top of the other into a small mountain. Blood splattered everywhere in sight, covering the shocked Corps. Everyone stared in surprise at the figure who stood atop the mound of steaming corpses, even Levi. He was completely frozen in place, steel gaze glued on the figure who clad the cloak of the Corps.

The figure turned, standing with their blades extended and reflecting the sun off the them. The hood of the green cloak fell, revealing their identity. Many gasps tore through the eerie silence right away. Levi felt as if the air had been knocked out of his lungs.

It was Chi, standing there with her while chocolate strands strewn across her face and shoulders. She still wore the same uniform as Levi, only now I was stained with titan blood. Her shoulders were square and proud, any form of fear gone. A black ribbon was tied around her forehead and wrapped around her head, its long remaining tails fluttering in the light breeze that enveloped them. Her small pink lips were curled into a large smirk, and her golden eyes glinted as she stared down at the helpless squad. Only this time - those eyes had slits as pupils.

Everyone stood speechless as they gaped at her appearance. Amazingly, she'd grown even stronger than the last time they laid eyes on her... if that was even possible.

"Chi!" Levi yelled out immediately. All eyes turned to him, including hers.

"Ah, Levi." she smirked, as if it was a casual conversation. Many people's jaws dropped; such formality was impossible with humanity's strongest soldier. Some even cast her dirty looks with the improper manner in which she acted toward him.

With a strong leap, she crouched slightly and pushed off the bodies so she landed on the ground beneath the pile. She sauntered over to Levi and leaned on one foot, a hand on her hip. "It feels like it's been forever," she said. Her smirk grew even wider.

"Where have you been?" he questioned. Her skinny pupils flashed dangerously.

"Me? What do you mean? Have you been looking for me?" Her tone was sarcastically innocent.

"Of course. Why did you leave?"

A bitter laugh escaped her throat. "Levi, don't you remember what I told you about my purpose for even joining the Survey Corps?"

"..." He nodded briskly.

"Well, now it is not simply only a goal, or a small purpose." She raised a clenched fist between them. "It is now my destiny, my purpose of life. I am nothing but a burden to humanity. In return for being born into this world, I must eradicate what threatens my kind."

Levi raised a brow. She wasn't acting like she had just a week ago. Just a week ago, she was a girl who had serious mood swings and made him see things he hadn't seen before. Simple things.

"Have... you been living outside the walls?"

"Of course! Where else?"

"How? With stupidity such as yours, I imagine that impossible." Chi grinned widely.

"That's where you're wrong, Levi. It's been a week where I've lived outside the walls with such ease." The eyes of the watching squad nearly bugged out of their heads.

"What... and how is this possible?"

"You see..."

She took a step forward and grabbed his chin before leaning forward until their noses were barely touching.

"...I threw away my humanity, so I could rise above the monsters."

~~~~~

A. N.

I have so much planned out for the next chapters, I can't wait to write it! c: I hope you guys are enjoying reading, because I love writing. I wonder why people won't let me write what I want to? I mean in real life. People are trying to convince me to write to publish and make money. But that's not why I write!

I write because I love it. It's a passion. I can paint an entire story in your head with only words. Do you know what an amazing concept that is? I love it. With words, I can make anything happen. Anything you would consider impossible. I could make you laugh, cry, smile, gasp, etc. with just words. I love writing because others enjoy it. Your reactions are priceless c:

Heheh. Well wait for chappy 11! Coming out soon.

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