I stare in shock at the bottle in front of me. I dare not look up at him. What am I supposed to do? What can I do? A dare is a dare. There's no denying it. I feel Paige's arms pull me to my feet and drag me towards a small cupboard. I'm pushed in first. The cupboard is filled with board games and toys, stacked on shelves that reach from the floor to the ceiling.
I feel his large body get pushed in beside me and the door is shut, plunging us into darkness. His bare chest is pressed up against mine, only the thin fabric of my top between us, there's barely space to breathe in here. Only seven minutes, I can survive it. Elio obviously feels my heart beating tenfold and quietly whispers,
"Are you okay?"
"I think so, it's only seven minutes right? We can do that." I reply, trying to slow down my racing heart. I'm not claustrophobic, I don't know why it's beating so fast, and I don't know why it's so hard to breathe.
"Yeah," He mutters and I realise that his heartbeat matches mine. I hear a song come on the speaker outside - I'm not in love - 10cc. I desperately try and distract myself. Of all songs right now.
"So what should we talk about?" I say, trying to lighten the situation. Trying to divert my attention from the non-existent space in between us. He chuckles lightly and I feel his chest convulse against mine, sending shivers up my spine as my breath catches.
"I'm not sure. What do you want to talk about?" He looks down at me and I see a glint of blue through the blackness.
"I don't know, what do friends talk about?" I feel his heartrate increase and he mutters out,
"We're friends?" His voice is almost hopeful, or happy; I feel my walls crumble and fall at his will.
"Yeah," I smile, even though he can't see it through the void of darkness.
"Friends." I whisper, I can feel his warm breath on my face, I know his lips are just inches away from mine. I can barely breathe as he leans downwards, inching closer at a heart-stoppingly slow pace.
Why do I want this? Why can't I stop myself from falling in closer? I hate this guy, or at least I thought I did. Our lips are millimetres away from one another, his hand is on my neck, my hand is placed lightly on his chest. I feel his thumb trail across my cheek and stop when he reaches my lips, his gentle hand cupping my face. His breath is short and quick as he leans in closer, guiding his lips towards mine using the navigation of his hand. I feel my eyes close, even though I could see nothing before anyway. I feel his bottom lip barely graze mine before he jumps back, his hand pulling away from my face. My lip tingles from the slight touch of his, and the absence of it.
I'm suddenly blinded by bright light streaming through the open door. Nico is stood there, frowning.
"Seven minutes up." He mutters before spinning on his heel and returning to the other room. I stare up at Elio, the light shining into his blue eyes as he watches my expressions change from confusion to shock, and then back to confusion. I see his throat bob as he swallows deeply, unable to remove his eyes from mine.
"I-," He starts to say something, but stops himself. Why does he always have to act like this? Why can't he just say what he's thinking? What's stopping him? I sober up quickly, feeling the familiar burn of anger, and I push myself out of the cupboard, returning to the game. He follows behind me silently.
The bottle spins a few more times before it lands on Elio once more.
"So what happened in the cupboard?" Lyo asks as Elio chooses truth. He pauses, debating what to say as I stare at his frown.
"Nothing, we just talked." He replies and I feel my heart drop a little, why do I feel so gutted?
"Okay then." Lyo seems disappointed as well, but more from the lack of drama.
"I'm bored, lets play spin the bottle, but for real." He continues and everyone agrees. I really don't want to. My first kiss can't be over a stupid spin the bottle game. I won't let it.
"I feel a bit sick, I think I'll sit this one out." I say and sit next to Cyrus on the sofa as he reads a book. I watch as they spin the bottle, kissing one another. Then it's Elio's turn, how can he do this? How can he almost kiss me in the cupboard and just agree to kiss some random person, chosen by a stupid beer bottle. It spins, I will it to never stop, but it lands on a girl with long blonde hair and stunning features. Why does it have to be Paige? She leans in over the circle, he pauses for a moment. I allow hope to swell up inside me before it's quickly stomped down by him tilting in towards her. They quickly peck, but it still feels like some sort of betrayal. Almost like treason. I hate the all-too-familiar feeling welling up inside of me as I hold back salty tears.
I allow a few minutes to pass before I excuse myself and head upstairs. Collapsing onto my bed, I try to gather my thoughts. What was I doing? This is so stupid. He's not going to change, I don't know why I thought he would. He's just one of Nico's rich unfeeling friends. I want to go back home. I just want this nightmare to be over.
"Hi baby, I made us pancakes! Guess what's in them." Mum greets me with a wide smile and a plate of soft pancakes as I wander into the kitchen, still in my pyjamas. I take a bite and start giggling,
"You put mango in it? Really mum?" I say with my mouth full.
"Manners Rosie." Her frown quickly turns into a grin, "But you have to admit they're pretty good." I cannot deny it, and I take another bite in response, this makes her laugh. The sweet chime of her giggles fill the house, making it home. We both sit on the sofa with the plate of strange pancakes and she turns on some random Rom-com, she must have been watching it last night as we start it half way through. She loops her arm around my shoulders and I snuggle into her warmth, curling up in her arms.
"One day we'll have a new house, and new plates, and a new TV. But you Rosie Cameron, you'll always be mine, and I will forever be yours." Her soft voice sooths me with familiar words as her gentle hand strokes my hair, lulling me to sleep as I rest my head on her fiery curls.
I open my eyes, suddenly I am cold, even covered by the thick duvet. I'm agonisingly reminded that her words were not true, and I am left with a freezing void where she once was, I am alone again, and it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I walk down the creaky wooden steps into the empty kitchen and grab an apple out of the fruit bowl. I sit on the bar stool and let burning tears fall down my face as I slowly bite through the apple. Once there is nothing but the core left, I wipe my salty cheeks and throw it into the bin. I look outside at the lake, lit up by the shining reflection of the moon. The clock on the counter reads 4:16 am 10/8. I wonder how it has already become October.
A moth flits around the kitchen light and I watch it for a while, admiring it's patterned wings. Eventually I grab a cup and a bit or card and chase it around, trying to capture it in a cage of glass. I find myself smiling as I run around the kitchen after the small fluttering creature. I finally trap it, watching it struggle against the glass as I head towards the back door. Once it is released I go back inside to wash the glass. I pause, frozen in shock.
He's stood leaning against the doorway, watching me with those endless eyes. Did he see me running around like a maniac? He's in a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt. I'm guessing they're his pyjamas. I'm suddenly very aware of my revealing strappy vest and small shorts. I don't say anything, more like I can't think of anything to say. I turn to the sink and wash the glass, placing it carefully on the draining board as he slowly wanders closer.
"Don't be." His statement shocks me and I turn around, my eyes meeting his. The thing I so desperately tried to prevent. He's a few metres away from me, standing on the other side of the kitchen island, his eyes flick up and down me as he leans on the marble surface, taking in my skimpy pyjamas.
"Why?" I ask.
"Why what?" He replies, although I'm not even sure what I'm asking.
"Lucia, and Lyo, and Paige." I list out names, a knot forming in my throat as my voice begins to rise.
"Why?" I almost shout, my voice catching as my eyes begin to water, but I'm not asking about them, I'm asking about him. His eyes flicker with something - maybe guilt? - as he gets lost in thought. He looks downwards, studying the counter. He's not going to say anything. He never does. It's like he's physically unable to voice his thoughts, expecting me to just read them.
"I never dated Lucia, we hooked up once and I don't even remember it because I was completely black out drunk." The words almost thrown out of his mouth, desperation lacing them as he starts to move around the counter.
"And I didn't want them to know anything, it's none of their business, only ours, and I kissed Paige because I had to, if I didn't then they'd ask questions and try to pry answers out of me and I couldn't deal with that because I knew I'd end up telling them everything and I didn't want to do that." Tears prick his eyes as he almost shouts the words at me, recklessly trying to make me understand. I walk to the other side of the island, desperate to keep something in between us.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I shout back as I feel a tear trickle down my aching face. We circle around the counter as he stalks me like prey.
"I don't know." He shouts back. We stand in silence, searching each other eyes for something, anything.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" This time the question is quiet, laced with regret and hopelessness. Wishing to go back in time and change things. He walks towards me, but this time I cannot move. I am caught.
"Every time you're around I can't think, I can't breathe. I do stupid things because I don't know how to act around you. You're infatuating." He's almost whispering as he steps closer me, the distance between us shrinking.
"Why can't you just get out of my head?" I reply, tears falling from my clenched jaw. His hand reaches upwards, wiping them away as he stares at me, hundreds of thoughts racing behind his sea blue eyes. He only seems to care about one. His left hand loops around my waist as his right cups my face, brushing a stray hair off of my stained cheek. I'm once again greeted by his warm breath. My heart pounds against my exposed skin as my arms lift to wrap softly around his neck. He suddenly veers forwards, unable to hold himself back any longer. Our lips crash together and he kisses me like he's been starved. Our mouths move against each other as my fingers lace through his hair, trying to pull him even closer. He picks me up with shocking strength and sits me carefully onto the counter, continuing to kiss me as he stands between my legs.
We're somehow making our way upstairs, lips locked together as we crash into walls and stumble down hallways. We've probably woken up the whole house, but I don't care. For once I don't care about anything but me and him and this moment.
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