March 31, 1999

He woke up to a familiar gnawing in his stomach and he rolled out of bed, cracking his neck and stretching his muscles as he did so. His bones ached. They always did at this time of the lunar cycle. It was something he'd quickly learned to live with the last five months of his life. The pain, the mental switch flipping in his head, and the instincts he had that he couldn't fight were his new normal.

Fingers briefly fluttered over the scarred bite just above his hip, the thing that had changed everything. The thing that turned him into something else, something predatory. Sure, he was stronger now, faster, and was able to heal from most injuries in a matter minutes, but the moonlust, the transformation, and the insatiable appetite once a month put a damper on things. It all still felt a little wrong. And maybe it always would. Though the healing thing? He could get used to that. He'd never have another scar. From now on he'd only have two. The bite, and the faded Dark Mark. Of course that would be the one thing he couldn't heal.

He padded his way to the bathroom and ran some hot water in the sink, splashing his face with it to ease the tension. He looked at himself in the mirror and let his eyes flash the golden hue of a beta. He could at least do that on command now and he tried hard not to preen at the accomplishment, but it was difficult. He was proud of himself but it wasn't all his achievement. He hadn't done it alone.

He should really thank her for that.

A knock pierced the silence, and then a soft voice called to him from the other side of the door. "Draco? I've got the cloak."

He opened the door to stare down into the chocolate brown eyes of Hermione Granger. AKA the only other person in this gods forsaken school who knew his secret. "About time, Granger." He drawled, opening the door wider and letting her in. "I was beginning to succumb to my loneliness."

He didn't miss the roll of her eyes as she passed him. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, not bad." He replied lazily, dropping down on his bed once more. "Just the run of the mill full moon stuff. You know, the aching limbs, the excruciating headaches, and who could forget the craving for uncooked rabbit?"

"Hilarious, Malfoy." She said, but she was clearly unamused.

Theirs was a tentative friendship. One made out of necessity on his part. The first moons he had spent alone were bad. Very bad. All he could remember was pain, excruciating pain and debilitating fear.

He had figured out what he was a week after he'd been bitten when he suddenly started craving steak. That in itself wasn't abnormal, but the fact that he wanted it rare was. He hated rare steak. Then he'd started getting antsy and wanted to be outside a lot more than normal. He also wanted to be in his friends personal space, which was the last straw. He was a Malfoy. He didn't do up close and personal.

He was just lucky that it hadn't caught anyone's attention. He had come back that year so he, and other members of his house, could prove themselves to be upstanding citizens and help with restitutions their parents owed. He was supposed to be staying under the radar. That was kind of hard when he started wanting to run naked under the light of the waning moon.

Those first two months as a werewolf were hard. He isolated himself from his peers and tried desperately to fight his urges. It was only after she'd found out that things had slowly changed for him. The reasons she was helping him were still up in the air, but he suspected their former professor had a lot to do with it.

He still remembered vividly, the day the friendship forged.

It was just before his third full moon, the last day in January. He'd been irritable and feverish the whole week and was struggling to keep his wolf from showing. He'd given up trying to focus on school work and had opted to hide out in the restricted section of the library instead. He should have known the Gryffindor bookworm would probably have no qualms in venturing into that section at her leisure. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, for him, she'd shown up at a particularly trying time. He'd tried to scare her off with a few well phrased insults but instead of making her run off in a huff, she'd furrowed her brows and stared at him.

"Something is off with you, Malfoy."

"Well spotted, Granger."

"Are you alright?" She'd reached out to touch his head and that's when it happened. He'd panicked and flashed his eyes at her. He felt the moment it happened and saw the golden glow in the reflection of her eyes. His heart may have stopped briefly in that moment.

But she hadn't looked frightened. She hadn't stepped back in shock or fear. No. She just stood there, the hand that had previously been aimed at feeling his forehead dropped to the collar of his shirt and joined the other one as the witch pulled it down, exposing his neck like she was searching for something.

"Whoa! Whoa! What the fuck are you doing?" He batted her away from him but she ignored him, pulling at his sleeves and turning over one nearly unmarred arm and then the other. He could have fought her harder, but the truth was, he was tired of carrying the secret of his affliction alone. He knew she knew. She was just looking for the proof.

"Granger!" He yelled, grabbing her hands and holding them still. Startled, she looked up at him again. Neither spoke as he let her go, her hands falling her sides. "Is this what you're looking for?" He whispered, lifting the hem of his shirt up, exposing the angry red and pink marks the rogue alpha had left behind.

Her fingers once again found his skin and he trembled a bit when they came in contact with the bite. "How long?" She asked, "When did this happen?"

"Three months ago, give or take a few days."

She looked back up and removed her hands from his abdomen. "Who? Who was it? Bennet? Crawford? Abner?" She asked quickly, leaving him no room to wonder how she knew of these alphas. "Greyback?"

He frowned. "No. No. It wasn't Greyback."

A look of relief flooded her face. "Good. Ok. That's good."

"Why do you know so much about -" he trailed off, the answer dawning on him. "Lupin."

She nodded slowly. "He has informed me of all the packs in the surrounding areas. For safety of course."

"Of course." He agreed suspiciously.

"So if it wasn't Greyback, who was it?"

"Hmm. You know, I didn't quite get to exchange pleasantries between the running and the screaming and the maiming."

Hands went to hips and she groaned. "I'm being serious here."

He laughed half heartedly. "So am I! I have no idea who did this to me! One minute I'm out in the woods minding my own business and the next thing I know I hear a growl and this thing with red eyes and a drooling snout is staring at me from the bushes. I backed away slowly, like you're supposed to do with a wild animal but it didn't work. The thing came after me and I thought I was done for but all it did was bite me. I didn't figure out until later that it was a bloody werewolf that attacked me." His breath was ragged and he had to sit down after spewing all of the information out like that. "Why does it matter who did it?"

"Believe it or not, werewolf packs have rules and laws to follow just like the rest of us. A respectable pack, a good Alpha would never turn a human unwillingly."

"Then I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that the one that turned me isn't respectable."

"No, I'd say not." She replied quietly. "But you're really lucky it wasn't Greyback."

His head shot up, a dreadful curiosity sparking inside of him as he asked, "Why?"

Her eyes flicked from his face to the wall behind his head. "He...he likes to play with his victims...and those he turns into betas lately.....well....it isn't pretty."

"Right. I'll count my lucky stars, then." His body had protested after that, tightening and snapping until he was panting at her feet.

She kneeled down, rubbing soothing circles into his back. "Tomorrow is the full moon. What do you do? Where do you go?"

"Forbidden forest. Far....far away. So no one gets hurt." Except him. He always hurts. He feels like he's dying.

"It will get better, Malfoy. You're probably trying to fight it. It only feels that way until you have better control over the shift."

He'd said the last part out loud. "And how long will that take?"

"It's different for everyone, I've heard."

Wonderful.

After his tremors subsided and he could breathe again he thanked her. "You won't..you won't tell anyone will you? " The main anyone in question being Potter and Weasley was left unsaid.

She shook her head. "No, Malfoy. I won't. It will be our secret."

"But I've been so awful to you!" He'd stuttered, shocked by her sincerity. "Why would you help me?"

"Everyone deserves a second chance, Malfoy." She'd smiled sadly. "Even you."

He watched her walk away until she was almost out of view. "See you tomorrow night!" She'd called over her shoulder, and for the first time in months, he hadn't felt so alone.

She'd spent the last two full moons with him. He'd been worried at first, not trusting himself to not hurt her, but she reassured him that she was a brilliant witch and was sure she could kick his furry arse all the way to France if she needed to. When he hasn't looked convinced she'd explained that she knew of a concoction that she could surround herself with that would stop him from getting too close.

It would be better if we had some mountain ash, she'd told him at the beginning, but I'll make it work.
It had been a compromise between them. He'd let her come with him but she had to have this magic powder and a means to protect herself other than her wand.

So far it had worked. He'd tried going after her the first time but had been burned and decided she wasn't worth the pain and ran off, though he remembered none of it.

The last time he'd been a little better. She had spent a week helping him learn control by having him do partial shifts until they didn't hurt as bad, so when the full moon came he wasn't as afraid of the pain. She told him to focus on something or find an anchor. He didn't know what that entailed exactly but he tried.

She kept him a safe distance away from the school and they both tried to make sure no one else caught on to his predicament. She always knew what to say, what to do to make him understand what he was going through, what he needed to do. It was almost as if she'd done it before.

Apparently after learning Lupin was a Wolf, she'd researched the fuck out of it and even talked to some local packs before returning to finish her last year, vowing to help them integrate back into society and amend some of the anti-werewolf laws. She never ceased to amaze him.

"Ready to go?" Hermione asked, snapping him out of his memories. She held out the cloak, which looked like nothing but air, and motioned for him to join her. He got up and followed her lead, disappearing under the cloak.

"You know, I never did ask how you got this." He mused as they made their way out of the school.

"It's a secret." She answered and shushed him. They weren't out if the woods yet.

Hah. Out of the woods.

They arrived at their predestination not a moment too soon. The moon was rising rather high in the sky and he felt the pull of it growing stronger, the itch under his skin turning into an intense crawling feeling. His eyes ached and he let them change, the forest immediately becoming clear to him as he did so.

He paced back and forth, trying to hold off the transformation until Hermione could complete the circle of some form of powdered Aconitum around her, but his fingernails were already lengthening into claws and the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth as his canines elongated into fangs. "Any time now, Granger." He growled, watching her carefully distribute the mixture. "I know I'm getting better at this and all, but I'm a far cry from being in control. I'd rather not have to scrub your blood out from under my nails tomorrow." She rolled her eyes. "And I saw that!" He snapped, pointing to his own golden orbs.

"I know." She huffed but stood, brushing dirt from her pants. "It's finished. Go ahead."

"Thank fuck." He muttered around his sharp teeth and turned towards a grove of trees.

"Remember," She called after him. "If you feel the urge to turn all the way, just let it happen. Don't fight it. You'll only hurt yourself."

"Yes, yes. I know. You've only told me a hundred times."

If she said anything else he didn't hear her. He was already getting lost in the transformation, his nervous energy humming inside of him, ready to be released. He felt his face contort into a more wolf-like shape and hair sprout in places he was sure looked very unattractive. He focused on what was happening and repeated the word slowly over and over again. He breathed through it and was surprised that he was still fully in control of himself, albeit with more wolfish tendencies.

He had a need to run around, so he did that, looking up into the sky and feeling exhilarated. He wasn't in pain, at least not yet. The itch had ebbed and he was grateful. This was progress. He didn't have long to think about it though, because once the moon rose to its highest peak, his cognitive ability suddenly started slipping away.

Shit.

He tried to calm down, tried to remain in control but the wolf inside of him howled and clawed its way to the surface, shoving his humanity to the back of his mind. He tried to do what Hermione had told him. Don't fight it. Let it happen. Pain erupted as his bones twisted and changed. His jaw clicked and pushed out and he hunched over and vomited.

And vomited. And vomited. Until there was nothing left but the thick saliva that he was producing.

He choked and cried out when his back arched and then bent forward, the feeling of his spine breaking apart and rearranging itself almost making him pass out.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't... He fought it. He fought against the pain and the pull of the moon. He screamed and thrashed around on the ground, his clothing feeling too tight in places and too loose in others. He yanked his pants off but his shirt was already shredded. He was changing quickly. Images of the giant black wolf, his alpha, flashed before his eyes and he cried out. He didn't want to be that monster.

No. No. No. No.

He just couldn't let go. He was frightened. His screams turned into howls and his call was answered in turn by a few wolves a kilometer or so away.

Shit. No.

He didn't want this. He didn't want to lose himself. He didn't...he couldn't....

And then he was gone.

All that was left was primitive instincts.

Run. Run. Run. Howl.

Sniff the air. Track. Chase. Pounce. Eat.

Run. Roll. Find water. Drink. Sniff the air.

Howl. Chase. Run. Run.

Runrunrunrunrunrunrun.