*~*~*~*

And I'll just be lonely, missin'
Holdin' your hand when we're half asleep
Lonely, wishin' we never kissed in your backseat
And that's what scares me the most

*~*~*~*

in between s01ep06 and s01ep07

*~*~*~*

"Stay on the phone with me?"

*~*~*~*

Jamie reluctantly let go off Addy's hand as they reached his car. Addy half whined as this happened.

He shook his head, before stepped towards Addy, he placed his hands on her waist, in some attempt to pull her towards him.

Her fake pout shifted into a smile, one that Jamie had become so familiar with, he smiled back at her as he pulled her in closer to him.

She stood at the perfect height for him to kiss the top of her head, as he wrapped his arms around her.

After a moment, Addy buried her head in his chest. She hummed in content as the familiar scents filled her nose. The smoke from the ritual and his cologne mixed with each other.

She found comfort in them both.

One was an old familiar scent and the other? It was becoming her new favourite thing as it was unmistakably Jamie Tartt.

The pair stayed wrapped up in each other for another moment, not letting the possibility of getting seen by anyone stop them.

Jamie placed around soft kiss to the top of her head, before he reluctantly let his arms fall away from her.

Addy once again pouted as he broke away from her. All she wanted to do was stay in his arms.

He smiled as he saw this brief pout.

Still smiling he stepped towards his car and held the passenger side door open for her.

Addy quickly dropped her overnight bag down on the floor of the passenger side, as she climbed in, trying to get somewhat comfortable as she watching Jamie as he closed the door before he made his way over to his side of the car.

"You ready?" he asked.

Addy nodded.

He placed his hand down on her thigh, squeezing it lightly.

As he pulled the car out of the club's car park, Addy continued watching him.

She couldn't ignore the feeling that formed in the bottom of her chest. Despite every fibre of her being telling her that it was a bad idea to dwell on these feelings, she couldn't ignore them anymore.

Jamie Tartt had well and truly managed to worm his way into her heart, despite her best intentions.

Sensing that Addy was watching him, Jamie looked over at her, with a smile. A smile that she'd become so familiar with.

Her face heated up, as blood rushed to her cheeks as she felt well and truly embarrassed.

In her embarrassment, she shuffled around in the passenger seat as she tried to get comfortable once more. She stopped watching him as she decided to look out the window instead, watching as the night lights of London passed them by. The lights flicked into the car.

She looked up, past the London sky line and towards the night sky, trying to find the moon.

It hung high in the sky.

It looked peaceful.

Addy kept staring out the window for a little while longer, as they kept driving down the London streets, with Jamie being careful to avoid the cars that lined the sides of the road.

Jamie looked away from the road in front of him, looking over at Addy once again. Smiling at her as he watched her crane her neck to see the stars.

He finally tore his gaze from Addy and back towards the road ahead of him.

"Fuck," he swore as he slammed on the brakes, as the traffic lights not too far ahead of them were red.

"Fuck," Addy also swore as she lurched forward.

"Sorry," he apologised as his fingers delicately tapped against the steering wheel as they sat at the red light, patiently waiting for the light to change.

"It's okay," She reassured him.

He gave her a brief smile which she could just about make out with the help of the street lights.

As the car started moving once more, Addy's attention was momentarily captured by the action that occupied the London streets, people excitedly chatting as they waited to enter their respective venues.

The pair stayed in somewhat silence, as Addy quietly sung along each familiar song that played on the radio.

She was singing just loud enough so that Jamie could hear her, and each time she started singing along to a familiar song, he smiled to himself.

The roads slowly became more recognisable to Addy, even though they'd taken these streets many times beforehand, Addy still didn't always know where she was.

"I'm glad you came," Addy said, breaking the almost silence between the pair, "I mean it Jamie."

Jamie didn't say anything in response as he kept his attention firmly on the road in front of him. Having almost ran a red light not that long ago due to paying more attention to Addy than the road.

Addy knew what it actually said to everyone else that Jamie had decided not only to watch the festivities, but to actively participle in them.

To everyone else it showed that Jamie was finally coming around to the idea of being a part of a team, and that he didn't have to do everything by himself.

Ted's training ideology was slowly but surely beginning to work with Jamie.

As he was slowly becoming more confident in letting other people see the real version of himself, not just keeping it hidden for the one singular person who had managed bury herself under his skin.

The version that Addy had come to deeply care for despite every single fibre of her being telling her that it was a bad idea.

Once Jamie gently placed his hand on her thigh, she didn't care, all she wanted was Jamie.

He left his hand there for a moment longer, as he made the final few turns that lead to his house.

The place finally felt like a home.

He pulled into his driveway, quickly stopping the car. Before Addy could even realise that they'd arrived at Jamie's home, he jumped out of his car, and was around to the passenger side door before she'd managed to unbuckle herself.

She watched him, curiously, as she finally managed unbuckle herself.

In the short time the pair had been involved with each other, she hadn't seen him act like this before. Almost desperate.

But then again, tonight was a series of first time experiences with Jamie.

First his willingness to be so openly vulnerable with the team, and now.

Desperation.

He opened the passenger side door, holding his hand out for her to take. She delicately placed her hand in his.

Deep down, she was still afraid that he'd pull away from her and lash out in some barely thought out method of self-protection.

A move that she was all too familiar with, having written one of the many playbooks herself.

With one swift move, Jamie pulled Addy to her feet.

On instinct he wrapped his arms around her as she stumbled ever so slightly.

"Sorry," he whispered before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"It's okay," she whispered back.

What she wouldn't have given to stay wrapped up in Jamie's arms for a moment longer, despite the biting wind chill that cut through the night.

He ever so reluctantly let go off Addy, she slowly followed suit.

He reached past her, grabbing her overnight bag from the floor.

Addy reached out for it, wanting to take it from Jamie but as she did so he shifted it into the other hand, so that he could easily throw it onto his shoulder, as he locked up the car.

He took Addy's hand in his own once again.

Lightly squeezing her hand, as he held her up the path she knew like the back of her hand.

*~*~*~*

The sharp and consistent beep pulled the sleeping pair from their respective deep sleeps.

Jamie protested not just to the sudden noise but also at Addy movements as she tried to find the source of the beeping. He eventually relaxed his hold on her waist so that she could reach the source of the sound.

Addy shuffled in the bed as far as she could with Jamie's loose grasp on her waist, her hand pushed things around the bedside table until her hand slammed down on the alarm clock, ending the beeping.

The arms which were now tightly wrapped around her waist pulled her back into his chest.

Back into safety.

Addy hummed in content as she felt his fingers brush against the shirt she slept in. The shirt that had once belonged to Jamie, but Addy had an unofficial claim to it when she stayed over.

As if it was a habit of a lifetime, Jamie slowly started tracing random shapes all over her. If it was possible, he'd do this for the rest of the morning.

But after a few minutes, he was forced to stop as Addy ever so carefully rolled over in his arms.

"Good morning," She whispered, breaking the new silence that had fallen over them. Jamie hummed in response, as his grip tightened around her waist, pulling her close to him.

He rested his forehead against hers, hoping that this small gesture would say everything he wanted to say, but was unable to do so.

Him silently asking her to ignore her responsibilities for the day and stay in bed with him for the rest of the day.

To stay in the warmth and protection of the bed.

If they did decide to stay in the bed, then the problems of the day wouldn't even begin.

They'd be protected from the horrors that were to come.

The bubble of safety and silence that hung over the bedroom was once again cut open by the sound of Addy's ringing phone.

Both of them groaned in frustration as Addy reluctantly pulled herself out of Jamie's arms, and out of the bed as she started searching around the bedroom for wherever Jamie had tossed her jeans in sheer desperation the previous night.

He pushed himself up in their bed as he watched Addy move around the bedroom. Quietly muttering to herself, as if she was trying to reason with the phone.

Thankfully it cut off before she managed to find the jeans that had somehow been lost in the bedroom.

Addy stood still for a moment as she silently hoped that the phone wouldn't ring again as she wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed and wrap herself up in Jamie's arms.

"Ah," Addy said as she finally saw her jeans, somehow they'd been tossed to the other side of the bedroom.

She looked over at Jamie who gave her the smug half smile that she'd come to love, as she held up her jeans and grabbed her phone from the back pocket.

Giving it a quick once over, making sure that it hadn't been damaged the previous night.

As she was looking over the device, it dinged once more.

Rolling her eyes as she saw who the missed call was from. The same person who just sent her a text.

She expected another few to come streaming in.

"Anyone important?" Jamie asked, as he'd moved over to the other side of the bed, and sat up.

"Nah, it's just Nico." She replied as made her way back towards her spot in the bed.

It took Addy a brief second for her to realise what she'd just said.

"Not that Nico isn't important, he is. He's one of my best friends but he's just reminding himself of the plans we made for next week," She explained as she stepped into the space between Jamie's legs.

"Stay?" Jamie asked, as his hands slowly ran up the back of Addy's legs.

"In bed?" She asked, gesturing ever so slightly behind him.

He nodded.

Addy paused for a moment, not actually expecting Jamie to vocalise this question.

She desperately wanted to say yes, more so than anything else.

To stay in their perfectly safe bubble.

"We can't," she reluctantly admitted, "I can't afford not to go to work."

Jamie nodded, completely understanding what she was saying.

"I'm gonna have a shower before breakfast." She said before she slipped out of his grip, a small pout fell onto Jamie's lips, as he watched Addy head over to the ensuite bathroom.

"You're welcome to join me," she said as she left the door wide open as she tossed the shirt she'd borrowed from Jamie towards him.

As she got ready for the shower, she heard Jamie move around in his bedroom. Making it clear that his intention was to join her.

As he heard the shower start up, he was set on joining Addy in the shower and he was about to step into the ensuite, when his phone rang.

He stopped in his tracks, knowing that no one called him this early in the morning unless it was important.

And he knew it was his phone.

The ringtone was unmistakable.

He left the threshold to the ensuite to head back into the bedroom to grab his phone. Hoping that this call would only take a minute so he'd be able to join Addy in the shower.

Spending every possible moment with her, trying to convince her that to stay.

"Fuck," he swore as he read the caller ID.

He immediately knew that his wasn't going to be a brief conversation.

Looking towards the open ensuite door, he was just able to hear Addy's soft singing over the running water.

Jamie stepped out of the bedroom, softly closing the bedroom door behind him.

He reluctantly answered his phone, knowing that it'd change the course of his day.

After a few more minutes of the hot water running all over Addy, she stepped out of the shower, not letting her disappointment that Jamie didn't join her show as she stepped into the bedroom with the towel rightly wrapped around herself.

"Jamie?" She asked, seeing that he wasn't still in bed, as she thought that he'd fallen back asleep since he didn't join her.

He wasn't in the bedroom or even the upstairs section of the house.

She couldn't help but feel a little more disappointed.

As she got somewhat ready for the day ahead, she pulled out the clothes that she'd packed into her overnight bag the previous day.

After getting dressed into her everyday clothes, she shoved the clothes that had been tossed around the bedroom underneath her work clothes, as she'd just change her jacket to the Richmond three quarter zip once she got settled in her office.

As Addy stepped out of the bedroom with her overnight bag hanging off her shoulder, she hesitated as she looked around trying to see if she could figure out where Jamie was. She just stood there for a minute as she listened for any noise.

"Jamie?" She called out for a second time.

Trying to find her constant companion, as all she wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms.

Their favourite place to be, in each other's arms.

Even when they weren't like that, Jamie almost always had his hands on her often aimlessly tracing shapes wherever his hand was.

These actions made her feel more secure in a relationship than she'd ever been before. Even though they weren't in a relationship, as they still hadn't managed to find the time to have that all important conversation.

In order to establish what they were to each to other they'd have to put aside the fact that even the idea of that conversation terrified them both.

Neither of them knew what it was that they really wanted. They initially started as a meaningless yet incredibly fun night, but after successive nights of falling into Jamie's bed, the lines became blurred.

The small possibility of them becoming something more lingered in the depths of their hearts.

Addy sighed as she walked down the stairs, careful as she went.

As she got closer to the bottom of the stairs, she heard Jamie end the phone call was on.

He was standing behind the kitchen island, his fingers were tapping against the island, as he was deep in thought, trying to process what had just happened.

"Jamie," Addy smiled as she made her way towards him, she dropped her overnight bag down at the end of the island.

She made her way around to Jamie who was staring down at his phone. Hoping that if he stared at it long enough, it'd change the outcome of the conversation he just finished up.

But that's not how the legalities of his career worked. He couldn't wish it not too happen.

"Hey," She went to place her hand on his own.

Before she was able to do this, Jamie pulled his hand back, before he stepped away from her, not letting her touch him.

Addy cocked her head, looking at where his hand once was. She completely unsure as to why he just brushed her off.

"Did you know?" He asked, breaking the brief moment of tension that hung in the air.

Addy looked at him, her confusion was apparent for him to see.

"Did you know?" He repeated his previous accusation.

He shifted on his feet, as she stayed silent as she tried to piece together whatever it was he was talking about with the limited information she had.

He cleared his throat, pulling her attention back towards him.

It was clear to see that his frustrations with her were growing.

"Know what?" She asked, "Jamie, I genuinely don't know what you're talking about."

She stayed calm.

She had to be the level-headed one in this situation.

Seeing her composure, Jamie softened ever so slightly, letting himself be the Jamie that she'd become so familiar with. The guy with a big heart but unfortunately, he just didn't seem to understand how to be open and vulnerable with anyone.

But he was learning to be like that with her.

He paused for a second, taking a deep breath in order to collect himself.

"They've terminated my loan," he explained.

"Jamie, I'm so sorry." She said, "But what made you think I knew?"

Even though she asked the question, she didn't want to hear the answer.

"Lasso didn't stop it." He replied.

He didn't directly answer her question, he did in a roundabout way.

"And because I'm what somewhat friends with Ted, all he does is enter my office and derail my plans for the day, but you thought I knew because of that?" She fought against the overwhelming urge to laugh, "I'm not privy to those sort of conversations."

"Still. Lasso didn't stop it." Jamie stood there, just trying to somewhat defend his position.

"Do you really think he knew? After last night? Ted doesn't give up on people."

The pair continued this back and forth for another few minutes, neither of them were able to see the other person's side.

Jamie's frustration and annoyance with Addy's constant need to defend Ted slowly grew.

Addy swallowed the lump in the back of her throat, as she realised the walls she slowly and carefully helped to take down and just been rebuilt. Leaving her on the other side.

It finally became clear that Jamie didn't trust her. Or he didn't trust her at this current moment.

If he didn't trust her, whatever it was between the pair was going to end.

It had to end.

She couldn't put herself through another situation like that.

"I think it's best if we end this," she gestured between them.

She kept blinking back the tears, as she looked away from Jamie. Unable to make eye contact with Jamie, knowing if she did, she'd start crying.

Her hands went up to her neck, undoing the necklace, fully preparing to hand it over to Jamie.

Because to her, gifts were only ever conditional. They were never something for her to keep.

"No it's yours," he replied.

His demeanour had completely changed, he was no longer annoyed with her, but confused. He didn't understand why she was doing this.

Addy looked up