A/N: I have a VERY vague fluffy idea for this. also I'm very much debating completely deleting Dragonhearted, that was awful-

I close the door of my room, pressing my back against it. I'm exhausted in every way, and I'm furious at myself for that, because I shouldn't be. I have the strength of a king and the powers to match. Strong enough to take down a pack of demons by myself... but too weak to even earn the respect of my own Table.

A voice from across the seemingly empty room. "Tor again?"

A half-smile crosses my face. "The proper greeting is 'Good evening, Crown Scion.' And yeah, who else would it be?"

A familiar face steps from the shadows, golden eyes flashing in the light. "She will learn. And in the meantime, the other Legendborn follow you. Any 'rebellion' she manages will be small."

I sigh, sitting on the edge of my bed. "Still annoying. And I'm not worried about rebellion or revolts-it's just not very fun to be questioned on every decision, especially when I'm not even confident in them."

"By bloodright and by ability, you are the king. And whether they're 'correct' or not, she does not have the power to judge your choices." I take a breath.

"...Drop the royal advisor act, Sel," I mutter. "I don't need to be reminded of my bloodline or my powers and we both know that." A moment of hesitation before I speak again. "I want...I want to talk to you, not to my Kingsmage."

...Finally, there's the flash of kindness in his eyes I've been waiting for. He smiles softly, moving to sit beside me. "Then I'm right here, mystery girl." His voice is a warm invitation.

I hate that I'm still nervous around him, after everything we've been through. Hate that I still feel so unsure reaching for him, finding my place in his arms. His skin is electric, as always. I tuck my head into his shoulder, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Rydych chi'n anhygoel, Briana," Sel whispers. "You are incredible. Don't let someone like Victoria convince you otherwise."

"She's not the first person to think I'm too weak for something, and she won't be the last. It's just... it's a lot harder to ignore when I'm not allowed to do anything about it, can't say anything about it..."

His eyes harden, but the anger there isn't for me. "If the next in Tristan's Line wasn't just as bad, she would be dead by now. And who's said you're not allowed to address her? She swore Oaths to follow her Awakened king, no matter who that ended up being."

"...Really, what would I do? I can't control her. And Sel, please tell me I'm going insane and you didn't just basically say you've considered breaking your Oaths and killing someone over some snarky comments?"

"If someone spoke to the Regents the same way she speaks to you, they'd be punished-" I shake my head, cutting him off.

"Yeah, exactly. And I'm not a Regent. I might wish Tor wasn't here, but I have to deal with her. And clearly, words won't do anything. She will never accept me as king, and no one can do anything about it. Because all she sees when she looks at me is a mistake."

Fury boils just beneath the surface-she'd have accepted anyone who didn't look like me, whether they were trained as Legendborn or not-but I take a breath. Sel doesn't deserve my anger. I've already fought with him enough. He's drawn back, still close but giving me room. "...S-Sorry, I didn't mean to... Can we, um, not talk about this tonight? Or war, or bloodlines, or-I just need a break from all the planning and plotting..."

He smiles softly, fingers running gently through my curls. "You do realize we would never have met without the 'bloodlines and war,' right?" He's teasing and simultaneously offering a swerve in topic. I feel a sudden rush of gratitude-not many people can read me so well, know exactly what I need.

"Oh please, don't act like you could have avoided me for long. Not when I defy every known law of aether." His eyes flash with recognition-he said that before setting his hound on me, the night of the third trial. "Might've taken you a bit longer, but you'd have found me eventually."

"And killed you soon after," he adds. "That doesn't sound like a very good ending to me."

"I wouldn't be so sure, I'm evidently pretty good at convincing people who want me dead that I'm a typical Unanedig with no special abilities." Sel laughs, and I realize how much things have changed between us in a matter of months. It's obvious he's still holding onto his guilt for trying to kill me-for trying to do what he thought was right-but there's enough affection and trust between us that his actions aren't a secret to be whispered in forests anymore. They're something we can laugh about, even.

"Give me a bit more credit than that, Bree, I would've figured you out eventually. Hunting down 'rogue' aether users is part of a Merlin's job, after all. And not much is as rogue as creating your own aether."

"And killed me soon after," I echo him. "I'd much rather meet you on my own terms that when you're hunting me down, thinking I'm a Morgaine or something."

He pauses for a moment, hesitant. "...I'm assuming your 'own terms' would not have been the way we actually met?"

"I..." What is he trying to ask? If I regret meeting him? If some part of me is still uncomfortable or unsure because of his mesmers and lies, nearly a year ago now and at the worst time in his life? "Does it matter? We're here now."

"With that outlook, nothing we do will ever matter," he muses. "Because oh well, we got to a certain point, our actions before are inconsequential."

"That's not what I'm saying... I mean there's no way to change the past. So yeah, ideally you wouldn't have mesmered me and hunted me and all that, but you did, and we're still here."

Sel presses a kiss to my forehead. "Might have gotten here faster if I didn't assume the worst of everyone, though..."

I let out a laugh-half amused, half frustrated. How did we even get to this? "And without all of that, I'd never have given you a second thought outside of being someone I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of. But if you really need me to spell it out, no, I don't really wish we'd met differently. And I don't wish we hadn't met either, if that's going to be your next question."

He grins. "Well, I wasn't planning to demand all your answers. Wouldn't blame you for it, though, if you did... Honestly, I'm still shocked you can stand to be around me." He shifts closer to me, and I pull him in close, hugging him tight. "...But I'm starting to believe it."

"Rwy'n caru chi, cariad." His eyes widen slightly. I adore you, my darling. "And you'll understand one of these days that I'm not scared of you anymore."

"...Fy mrenin, byth a byth." His expression is soft, mouth pursing in a smile when he realizes I didn't understand a single word of that. "My king. Forever and always."

A/N: every time I try to write something approaching any degree of angst it turns so fluffy that reading it makes me sad?? Help??? Also why is Sel being sweet so hard to write suddenly??? He sounds like Nick???