^Sad music if you'd like. And yes, this is similar to the last one, but I wrote this one first so I think it's a bit better.

It's funny how easily people can die. Wait, funny isn't the right word. Depressing? Yeah, we'll go with that. You'd know, you just had everyone taken from you, and depressed described you perfectly. The one person still alive at your side tried everything he could to keep your spirits high, telling jokes more consistently and talking bad about the infected. Everyone had their own way to cope with loss, and you assumed that was Ellis'.

However, nothing helped. All his words went in empty ears, nothing he said was acknowledged like everything he said used to be. Because of this he spoke more and was too easily distracted. The only reason he was still alive was because you couldn't let him die too. If he fell to the infected's cold, dead hands....you might as well toss yourself to them too.

Finding a safe room didn't bring the joy it used to to your body, but Ellis made a comment about finally finding a place you could spend the night. You looked up, not noticing the sun had already fallen from the sky. The short mechanic ran ahead of you to open the door and you watched with a blank stare, empty eyes that hadn't come back to life since your teammates death and never would.

You walked past Ellisーwho was holding the door openーand found a spot in the corner to sit in. And that's where you were for the next hour and a half, staring into nothing and trying not to think. With your thoughts brought pain, and with pain brought tears you couldn't let Ellis see. Crying was inevitable, it always was. All you had to do was wait until Ellis was asleep, then you could cry till you couldn't anymore.

There was almost something about it, like you needed to let it happen or you'd be betraying your friends. You didn't feel this kind of sorrow for your undead friends and family, but with the whole world going down with one fell swoop, it felt like you had no chance to grieve. This, this time you could.

Hearing some soft snores from the other side of the safe room, you looked over to see Ellis curled up on the ground. He was cuddling his gun. The next second you were across the room and checking to make sure the safety was on and the clip was out of the weapon. To your overwhelming relief, he had remembered both tasks and wasn't likely to die anytime soon, not at all if you could help it.

You leaned up against the wall and peered down at him, remembering how he'd cuddled up to you one night. When he woke up the next morning he blushed and mumbled multiple apologizes but you just brushed it off. He was cute, you didn't mind. How many cute guys were you going to run into that weren't dead?

Memories of what would've eventually been a relationship if it weren't for your teammates' deaths ran through your mind, a particular one from before any of them had died coming to the front. It was when you were still in Whispering Oaks amusement park, by the games and tents, and there was a strength tester.

Nick had teased Ellis, prodding at him to try and get him to try the strength tester. It was Nick's hope that Ellis would fail, but Nick didn't realize how muscled Ellis was. You checked him out while he pulled the hammer back and swung it up over his head to come to a finish right on the bar. The little ball on the other side of the bar shot into the air and rammed against the bell at the top.

Ellis cheered loudly as you let out a low whistle. Hot dang. You patted the shorter boy on the head, looking down at him with admiration in your eyes. He wasn't too much shorter than you, not that he made a point of telling you that whenever you called him 'Shorty'. You called everyone Shorty that was shorter than you, and that meant everyone but Coach. Nick was the one that had to point out he wasn't that short every time, which just made the rest of you roll your eyes.

The carnival also brought some other memories, ones you'd do anything to go back in time to erase. The specific memory of getting rescued came to mind and you squeezed your eyes shut. That one you couldn't think about, not until Ellis was for sure asleep.

You peeked down at the boy and stifled any noise from coming out of your throat. It was hard making him think you'd just turned silent, that you actually weren't completely falling apart on the inside and doing everything you could not to show it. You knew he wasn't fairing well either, with how distracted he'd been there was no way he was mentally stable. You didn't think you'd heard him cry yet, though.

When you deemed Ellis deep in sleep, you trudged back to your corner and dropped your gun to the ground. You didn't sit next to it, you stood staring at the white painted wall of the safe room as you thought back to the rescue that tore your life down.

Nick had gotten plowed by a charger not a minute before the rescue helicopter arrived, so you had to support him on your way to the chopper. He was limping and coughing at random times, probably suffering from a broken rib or two. But you both had made it on, everyone had. You remember Rochelle calling for the pilot to take off, but the pilot wasn't fast enough, not nearly. Though you suppose it could've been- no, it wasn't Ellis' fault, he didn't know what was coming. If he had, he would've surely closed the side door of the chopper much faster.

The tank had ripped a chunk of the ground up and thrown it at the helicopter. And it hit the target.

The impact of the concrete threw the helicopter pilot off and he wasn't able to prevent Coach from tumbling out the side of the chopper. You didn't get to see what happened to him, or Nick, who had slipped out after Coach. Your feet came out from under you and you hit the ground. The pilot panicked and overcorrected, causing the chopper to tilt the other way and for you to slide towards the open door Ellis was braced against.

He saw you coming and grabbed your arm, stopping you from certain death the other two males had gotten. You saw barely a flash of Nick lying on the ground as you were yanked back inside and the pilot sped away. Ellis shut the door tight and locked it, panting from the suddenness of everything. It was silent in the back, until everything hit you all at once and Rochelle shouted for the pilot to turn around and you and Ellis went to check the window the door had.

You couldn't see Nick anymore, but you knew he had no chance with the injury he recently gained. He could hardly walk on his own, let alone fight off the hundreds of zombies and special infected. Coach was fighting, but eventually he just stopped. Whether it was from knowing there was nothing he could do or he ran out of bullets, you couldn't tell. But the infected jumped on the opportunity and you had to look away.

Ellis did his best to comfort you as Rochelle screamed at the pilot. But all the screaming in the world wouldn't stop him from leaving your teammates behind. You wondered how anybody could be so heartless, but you just assumed it was because he was already infected and couldn't think with empathy.

The tears were falling down your face as you came back to the dark safe room you resided in. You let out a soft cry and looked down at your muddy boots, the reminder of what happened to Rochelle swirling in your brain, not giving you a break from the constant pain. So, as you leaned your forehead against the wall, the day of Ro's death played out in your mind.

You were all trudging through the swamp, doing ok since the death of the other two. Nobody was good, you couldn't be, it was impossible, but you still had each other and that was enough to make you keep going. Ellis had said he found something in a little shack and went inside and out of sight. Rochelle and you waited outside, guns sweeping back and forth.

A low growl entered your ears, and you were going to tell Rochelle a hunter was nearby when you felt your foot catch on something as you were turning to her. You fell face first in the swamp water and quickly heaved yourself out, gasping and spitting out any murk that got in your mouth. You had dropped your gun, so when Rochelle shouted about a hunter on her you scrambled to find where you dropped it. After laying a hand on it, you yanked it out and looked around, the mud getting in your eyes making it difficult. You shot twice randomly but the tearing sounds didn't end and you had to drag your arm across your eyes to clear your sight.

By then, thinking back, it was too late. As the hunter tore her stomach up, the nasty water flooded inside and got places nothing should be able to go to unless specifically put there. She was crying out and screaming, alerting nearby infected of your location. Ellis had run back outside just as you shot the hunter and killed it, and its blown brains mixed in with the ingredients killing Rochelle.

You rushed to her side as Ellis took care of everything else coming close. You had started crying as Rochelle struggled to keep her eyes open. She knew it was the end for her, so she shoved her AK-47 in your hands and whispered "Keep going".

If only you hadn't fallen, maybe she would've been ok. Why did you even need to look at her to tell her what was coming? Stupid. You were so stupid.

You slammed a fist into the wall and felt your hand tingle in pain. The pain was nothing compared to the emotional hurricane inside you; you continued to hit the wall.

"What're ya doin'?" Ellis' voice made you stop.

"Nothing," you replied after a moment.

"Are ya cryin'?"

"Go back to sleep Ellis."

"No." You turned to look at him. His eyes found yours then followed the path of tears down your face. He got to his feet and walked over in 3 large strides, stopping just in front of you so he could look up at your broken expression. "Why're you cryin'?"

"Why do you think, Ellis," you whispered.

"Well..." he didn't answer.

"They're dead!" You shouted, finally snapping. You were fed up with acting like nothing was wrong, like it was just a matter of survival of the fittest and not some dumb accidents that got your friends killed. It wasn't fair, and you didn't want to act like it was. "They died, and we're just moving on."

"No we ain't (Y/N)-"

"Then what are we doing?" You demanded. He stayed silent for a moment, looking at the gun you'd used since Rochelle diedーher gun. "We act like they never existed."

"But they did-"

"And we just keep going. Sure it's what they wanted, but how can we do it so easily? Are we just that unfeeling?"

"Now, (Y/N)-" You didn't notice the tears filling Ellis' eyes.

"I feel like a monster, I'm no better than them." You looked out at the zombies lurking outside the safety of the room with the red door.

"Stop!" Ellis shouted, finally breaking down. "Please (Y/N)," he begged. "Just stop it." You fell to the ground and curled into a ball and began rocking back and forth, trying to stop your mind from going any darker. Depressed, that's what you were. Ellis seated himself next to you and held you, needing something to hold besides his gun. "I guess now might be a good time ta tell ya..." You looked over at him. "Whenever I was sad, I used ta become super talkative, an I guess nobody realized it was all jus' a facade. I haven't been happy since the initial outbreak." So you weren't the only one hiding their emotions.

"Hey," you whispered, making him look up at you with broken eyes. You stayed silent for a moment; it was almost like you were looking in a mirror. "We're both dead on the inside." He expected something more encouraging, but he guessed he was just being too optimistic. "But at least they don't have to go through what we are." What if it had been you and Ellis that had fallen out of the helicopter? That would burden the others, and you didn't like the idea of them having to feel the emotions you were. "They lived a good life, fought long and hard to keep us alive, so let's not let that go to waste."

Ellis wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to smile. "Yea."

"Now go to sleep, we both need it." He nodded and cuddled into your side, and you let him. How many cute guys were you going to meet before your time was finally up anyways?