The last one hundred meters

Izzie was getting closer and closer. She had a tense, concentrated expression on her face. She stretched her arm out to hand her the baton. Casey grabbed it and started running. Izzie didn't let out her usual shout of encouragement, but it didn't matter. The only important thing was running. It was the last one hundred meters, the moment that could decide everything.

Casey started her leg of the relay in the fifth position. It was not a great starting point, but she imagined that it would be that way since when she had seen Quinn running. Having Quinn running the first leg normally guaranteed the team a strong start, but that day she had been looking tired since the early afternoon, when they regrouped. Compared to her usual competition mood, she looked out of shape and distracted, dark circles badly concealed, hair tied with a sober black band. These details could not be ignored: when she had registered her best performances in the past, Quinn had always shown up on track with perfect make up, and her nail polish and hairband matched with the colors of the Clayton logo. As she finished the first leg in the seventh position out of twelve, Quinn had passed the baton on to Penelope before bending forward, hands on her knees, watching the rest of the race with a disappointed look on her face.

Penelope at school always acted as if she didn't care much about track and field but, deep down, she hated losing. She was clearly anxious about the fact that she had kicked off the second leg of the relay with a strong disadvantage compared to her direct opponents. So, she tried to push since the first meters in order to gain some positions and get the team back on track for victory. But towards the end of her one hundred meters, it looked as if she had started slowing down, and she didn't manage to overtake the girl in front of her. Most likely, she had pushed too hard on her legs, and she had not managed to keep the same speed until the very end. She handed over the baton to Izzie giving her a sorry, desperate look.

When Izzie started running, she looked gloomy. She didn't think too much about managing her energies, and she overtook two girls before leaving the last one hundred meters in Casey's hands. Seeing Izzie so tense and focused on the objective made Casey motivated, but also scared.

Casey didn't want to undermine Izzie's effort and she felt that she could still win the race. She overtook the first girl on her right and found herself with three girls still ahead of her, one of them from Newton. She knew her quite well and could bet on the fact that she could never kept her rhythm. She overtook her after about thirty-five meters, convincing herself that getting a spot on the podium and ending the race better positioned than Newton would already be enough to grant her forgiveness from Izzie for what had happened the previous day. There were seventy meters left, to go get the first place. At the beginning of the L.A. trip, Casey was happy to be far from her family for a few days, but now she would have liked to hear Elsa and Doug's voices coming from the public. Then she heard coach Crowley shouting "Come on!" and noticed that the girl in the third position didn't seem to be that far anymore.

Her legs started moving faster while in her head scenes from the previous day started playing. Doug's car in a cold autumn morning, Izzie's excited look in the rear-view mirror, falling asleep on her shoulder, the six hours flight, the song they were listening to on the bus. Fifty meters.

The sensation of having done something wrong the moment when, on the bus, Izzie told her that she would not spend the afternoon with her, the sad look she gave her in the dorm's corridor the previous night, the thought that maybe she should apologize to her. Twenty meters.

One last girl with a pink shirt was left between her and the first place. Casey wanted to win the race not to disappoint Izzie, more than for herself. Her opponent, a tall and skinny girl, was really fast, but Casey's desire to win was stronger. As she leant forward to cross the finish line and looked at the referee, realizing she had won, she quickly turned around clenching her firsts and letting out a scream of celebration.

Penelope and Quinn, who had followed the rest of the race standing next to the track, feeling guilty and hoping that their poor result could be overturned, suddenly ran towards her to hug her.

"I knew it! – Penelope shouted – You are a phenomenon!"

"Yasss Newtonnn!" echoed Quinn.

Casey hugged her back, happy for the win but indifferent to their enthusiasm. She was looking for Izzie's eyes behind them. She finally saw her while, at a distance, she lowered her arms, which she had risen in sign of silent celebration. Then she saw her gesticulating to the coach while touching her knee.

...

A step back to the first night

"Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back" Casey thought, walking down the corridor as she was going to say goodnight to Sharice and the other girls before returning to her room. The price tag still hanging from the Lakers jersey stung her back. She didn't have the courage to admit in front of Izzie that in fact she had bought that jersey for Evan, she was only wearing it that night because it was too tempting, and she could not resist. She felt Izzie's eyes on her. In a way, she was hoping that Izzie would call her and ask her to come back and talk, because she had the sensation that something was still missing in the way they had wrapped up their conversation. On the other hand, she imagined that Izzie would not be the first one to reopen the conversation. Although Casey was not completely clear on the reason, she knew that Izzie was waiting for an apology.

Izzie kept standing next to the wall and watched Casey walk up to the end of the corridor. Understanding which was Sharice's room could become useful information for the next few days. She felt defeated, Casey had not understood the reason of her anger and in the following days would have kept hurting her without even noticing. She saw Casey knocking on the last door and felt her eyes filling with tears. When someone let Casey in, Izzie turned away and started walking to her room.

"Hey Sharice, I just wanted to say goodnight - said Casey, entering her old friend's room – I'm, like, super tired. I am going back to my room with my teammates and then I'll go to bed. I am going to kick your asses on track tomorrow!"

"Sure! In your dreams! – Sharice replied – Let's see how good your Miss Private School friends are in the relay".

Casey didn't feel like counterattacking, especially because in that very moment she couldn't care less about the race. She waved goodbye to the other girls and stepped back towards the door. Sharice followed her, standing with her on the doorstep.

"Everything good, Casey? You are acting weird. Did you have a fight with Evan during your phone call?"

"What? – Casey replied, suddenly reminding of Evan's existence – No, absolutely not. He's fine. He's not working at Don's tonight, so he went to the movies with Beth".

"Ok, so what happened? – Sharice insisted – You were not like this half an hour ago when you left the room".

"It's nothing, Sharice, really".

"Casey? We have known each other for a million years. Tell me the truth because I will get to it on my own anyway".

"Nothing. I met Izzie in the corridor, she was looking for me. She wanted me to go back to our room, the others are going to sleep. They don't want to be too tired since we have the race tomorrow".

"You don't have to get back to their room if you don't want to. You are able to manage your energies on your own. I remember that we had some crazy nights at Newton, before track races. And the following day you were still running like Bolt".

"You are right, Sharice. But it's not this..."

"Then what?"

"Nothing. I am going to bed now".

Casey left the room and walked slowly through the corridor. Sharice closed the door behind her. She was sure that something was not right, but Casey didn't want to tell her the truth. She knew that the first months at Clayton had not been easy for Casey, and most likely her relationship with the new teammates was still complicated. Sharice was convinced that Casey didn't want to expose herself too much on this topic, after what she and the other Newton girls had put her through when they had discovered she was about to leave their school. They wanted her to feel guilty for joining Clayton. Since then, the topic of switching schools had become a black hole in their friendship, a wound that had not completely healed yet. Sharice attributed Casey's mood swing to this, and went back to her room, ready to concede herself another couple of hours of fun with the other girls before going to bed.

Casey opened the door of her room, trying not to make too much noise. The lights were off already, only a white ray of light filtered through the curtains. The other girls seemed to be asleep, or, at least, none of them moved or talked to acknowledge her presence.

She washed her face with ice cold water, trying to wash her thoughts away, and then she moved towards the small sofa, her bare feet on the cold floor. Her back to the beds, she put her bag on the couch, looking for her pyjama. She took off the Lakers jersey, carefully folding it and putting it in the bag. Then she took of her bra and her shorts, wearing her pj's instead. Finally, she approached the bulk bed. She was supposed to sleep on the bed above Izzie's.

She had just put her hands on the ladder, when her eyes alighted on Izzie, and for a moment she felt a disturbing sensation at the idea of having to climb on the upper bed instead of getting into the lower bed next to her. She stopped for a moment and stared at her, then she caressed her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Happy to have been able to do it without waking her up, Casey put a foot on the ladder and started climbing to her bed. Izzie opened her eyes, biting her lip, as she heard Casey making herself comfortable on the upper bed. She was scared that hearing her heartbeat accelerating would reveal to Casey that she was just pretending to be asleep.

Casey was staring at the ceiling, trapped in her own thoughts. She could not accept the idea that Izzie would put up such a scene for the race. It was just the relay, after all. The occasion to really shine would come up with the individual races in the following days. And, in the end, they were also there to have fun. In the previous days they had made so many plans about this trip to L.A., and Izzie had not given her the impression of wanting to spend much time with Quinn and Penelope.

As Casey started counting the small cracks on the walls, her mind was wondering about the reason for Izzie's anger, and the more she tried to push that idea away, the more she could not stop thinking about it. Between them, there was that thing. That thing was so exciting, hypnotizing, and sometimes it hid, but never went away completely. Some months before, at her birthday party, they had almost kissed. The night before summer holidays, they held hands in her car. She could not be able to say for how long, but she knew the atmosphere was electric. Casey had kept on thinking about it for the whole summer, but she had closed those thoughts in a box the moment Izzie, during their first run together after the holidays, had told her how beautiful and easy it was to have a friend like her. But since then, the moments when that thing had come to the surface again had multiplied. She knew falling asleep would be almost impossible, and suddenly she just wanted to go home and spend time with Evan. With him, everything was so reassuring, clear and easy. In the silent room, she perceived a movement in the bed below hers. Izzie was tossing and turning in bed. A doubt crossed Casey's mind: what if she had been awake all the time?

...

A party after each race

A party after each race, it's what UCLA highlighted on the agenda for the week, and that was one of the reasons why the girls couldn't wait to go to Los Angeles. On the massive terrace of one of the bars of the campus, Casey was drinking a gin tonic while silently complimenting herself for her own outfit: shorts, oversize shirt and her favourite sneakers. The classic look that Elsa would comment with an "is it really a good idea going to a party dressed like that?". This type of remark usually made Casey even prouder of her taste in fashion. She had arrived at the party with Penelope and Quinn, as Izzie had told them to start going ahead without her, because she needed more time to get ready. She hadn't been particularly warm with Casey after the relay and Casey didn't know what to expect for that evening. As she lost Penelope and Quinn in the crowd after few minutes, Casey found Sharice, who also disappeared after a quick chat, looking for a random guy that apparently had promised to buy her a drink.

Left alone, with her back leaning on the terrace's banister, Casey took her phone out of her pocket, suddenly bored and anguished at the idea that Izzie could have changed her mind regarding attending the party.

Casey finally saw Izzie close to the bar counter and put her phone back in her pocket. Izzie was wearing a short black skirt, a dark orange top, and a pair of hoop earrings. Casey tried to move forward in the crowd to get closer to the bar and say hi, but she bumped into a girl from Newton that stopped her to congratulate about the race.

"There is something I don't get, though – said the girl – Why were your teammates shouting Newton when you won?"

"That's how they call me" Casey replied, mumbling and already looking behind the back of the girl, towards Izzie, who was leaning on the counter and waiting for a drink, while a tall guy with a backwards baseball cap was getting closer to her. Casey could not see his face, but Izzie was looking at him as if she knew him, playing with her hair. For a moment, Casey had the impression that she was leaning towards him, and suddenly she felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. But straight afterwards, she realized that Izzie was just leaning forward to grab the glass that the bartender was handing her with a smile. The guy with the baseball cap was about to put an arm around her waist to escort her to the dancefloor, but Izzie pulled away and waved in Casey's direction. "Newton! – then, turning to the boy – Sorry, I was waiting for my friend".

He turned towards the counter with an annoyed look on his face, and a moment later Casey and Izzie were arm in arm.

"I saved you, hum?" Casey said with a smirk.

"Why do you say so? He was quite hot!"

Casey gave Izzie a not so convinced look.

"Ok, ok. I was trying to find a way to get rid of him. I'm done with boys for a while. Luckily you saw me and came to rescue me".

"You are welcome – Casey replied – Shall we dance?"

The dancefloor at the centre of the bar was crowded with people. Casey abandoned her empty glass on a table and randomly searched for Izzie's hand behind her own back. As Izzie grabbed her hand, she started heading towards the centre of the dancefloor, dragging her among the bodies moving. She turned back and Izzie looked at her with sparkling eyes. Casey felt as if she was about to learn to fly. Everything was now so different compared to the previous night, when that thing between her and Izzie had only caused anger and tension. Now it was still there, but while Izzie approached her dancing and trying to lock eyes, that thing made her feel butterflies in her stomach.

I don't wanna take from you

I don't need an I.O.U.

Keep your pockets superglued

I got nothing, you got nothing

Izzie got closer, their legs were almost touching while their arms were moving around their bodies, following the beat of the music, still hesitating to make any further move.

Be my Yoko Ono Muse,

Serotonin, bullet proof

Izzie closed her eyes, Casey was ready to rest her hands on her hips, in a moment that seemed to last forever.

Never better, never blue

I got nothing, you got nothing

"Hey, girls!"

Within a second, everything melted. Until a moment earlier, it was as if they were alone. Now they were on a dancefloor crowded with dozens of boys and girls. Izzie stepped back, eyes glued to the floor in order to hide her sudden blushing.

Casey stepped back too, giving an awkward look to Penelope and Quinn, who were squeezed in tiny dresses and looked pretty tipsy already. Quinn was barefoot, her posh high heels sandals abandoned somewhere.

"I know – said Quinn – I shouldn't have worn heels".

Penelope gave her a nudge.

"We could not find you – she said, trying to hide her embarrassment – We are going to get something to drink, do you want to come?"

Casey looked at Izzie with an inquiring look. Izzie barely lifted her eyes and shook her head.

"We are ok, thanks" answered Casey, hoping that would be enough to see them leave.

I don't need it, a car to drive alone

I don't need it, a house that ain't no home

When, finally, Quinn and Penelope left and approached the counter, Casey got closer to Izzie and whispered in her hear "Hey, are you ok? You sure you don't want anything?"

Izzie took a step back and, staring at the void behind Casey's shoulders, said "I need to drink, but just water. My knee is hurting, I am going back to our room".

I need you, on the passenger side

A house gets cold with nobody inside

Casey was disappointed at the idea of having to leave the party, but something between her and Izzie had just got broken again and the only way of fixing it was getting to their room and spend some alone time with her.

"I'll come with you", she said, and grabbing her hand again she started to make her way back across the crowd.

Some shit I just don't need in life

But I need you

Izzie held her hand, feeling protected by the absence of bright lights, while they stepped next to Penelope on their way to the exit. Their teammate was now chatting with the guy with the backwards baseball cap, their faces at a two centimetres distance from each other.

The two girls left the semi-darkness of the bar and kept holding hands as they walked through the empty campus paths, to then let each other's hand go as they entered the dorm, illuminated by the neon lights and surprised by the sudden cold air coming from the air-con.

*****

If you are here, you know the song.

Hope you liked it.