Happy Holidays guys. In honor of the holidays, here's some Kam because why the FRICK not
Keefe: Why am I not allowed to have a script?
Peggy: *handing scripts to everyone except Keefe* I'll give you one later. For now, you're not allowed to have any spoilers.
Sophie: *reading the script and giggling*
Keefe: I want to know what's so funny!
Peggy: You will.
Linh: Where's Tam?
Peggy: You'll see.
Wylie and Marella: And why are we here again?
Peggy: YOU'LL SEE! Just get on stage already.
***Take 1***
Sophie: There! Right there! *pointing at Keefe* Look at that tan, well-tended skin. Look at the killer shape he's in. Look at that slightly stubbly chin! Oh please, he's gay. Totally gay!
Keefe: I'm sorry, what?
Dex: I'm not about to celebrate. Every trait could indicate, a totally straight expatriate. That guy's not gay. I say, not gay.
Keefe: Thank yo-
Keeper (minus Kam): That is the elephant in the room. Well, is it relevant to assume, that a man who wears perfume is automatically, radically fae?
Fitz: But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.
Sophie: Look at his silk translucent socks.
Dex: There's the eternal paradox. Look what we're seein'.
Linh: What're we seein'?
Dex: Is he gay?
Sophie: Of course he's gay!
Dex: Or European?
Keeper: *turns to look at Keefe again* Ohhhhh.
Keefe: Guys are you serious?
Keeper: *turn to look at each other* Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or European?
Wylie: Well hey, don't look at me!
Linh: You see, they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports. They play peculiar sports.
Keeper: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts!
Keefe: Come on!
Keeper: Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks! They both say things like "Ciao, Bella" while they kiss you on both cheeks!
Sophie: Oh, please.
Keeper: Gay or European? So many shades of gray!
Wylie: Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
Keefe: What?
Keeper: Is he gay or European, or-
Biana: There! Right there! Look at that condescending smirk!
Keefe: *begins talking to a random elf with short hair*
Biana: Seen it on every guy at work! That is a metro, hetero jerk! That guy's not gay. I say, no way!
Keeper: That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to assume, that a hottie in that costume.
Linh: *realizes that Keefe is flirting with that elf* *points it out* Is automatically, radically!
Dex: Ironically, chronically!
Biana: Certainly, flirtingly!
Wylie: Genetically, medically!
Keeper: Gay! Officially gay! Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay-
Elf: *turns around so you can see that she's a girl*
Keeper: DANG IT! Gay or European?
Dex: So stylish and relaxed.
Keeper: Is he gay or European?
Dex: I think his chest is waxed?
Keefe: Dex, what the-
Linh: But they bring their boys up different there! It's culturally diverse! It's not a fashion curse,
Keeper: If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Keefe: Guys.
Keeper: Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code!
Marella: Yeah, his accent is hypnotic. But his shoes are pointy toed.
Keeper: Huh. Gay or European? So many shades of gray!
Biana: But if he turns out straight, I'm free at eight on Saturday! (A/N: Yes I do realize that this line does not belong to the character I have Biana playing but I didn't want to add anyone else)
Keeper: Is he gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro-
Fitz: Wait a minute! Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try.
Peggy: *hands Keefe a script*
Dex: The floor is yours.
Fitz: *walks over to Keefe* So, Mr. Sencen. This alleged affair with Miss Foster has been going on for...?
Keefe: Three years. (A/N: I think)
Fitz: And your first name again is?
Keefe: Keefe.
Fitz: And your boyfriend's name is?
Keefe: *doesn't look at his script* Tam.
Keeper: *GASP*
Keefe: *realizes his mistake* I- I'm sorry! I misunderstand! You say "boyfriend" I thought you say "best friend". Tam is my... best friend.
Marella: That is the worst lie I've ever heard.
Tam: *shoves aside the curtain* YOU IDIOT! YOU LYING IDIOT!
Keefe: Oh no.
Tam: That's it! I no cover for you no more! Peoples! I have a big announcement!
Keefe: *whispers* Tam, wait please-
Tam: *points accusingly at Keefe* This man is gay AND European!
Keeper: Whoa!
Tam: And neither is disgrace!
Keeper: Oh.
Tam: *turns to glare at Keefe* You gotta stop your bein' a completely closet case!
Keeper: Huh.
Tam: *points at Sophie* It's me, not her, he's seein'! No matter what he say! I swear he never, ever ever swing the other way.
Keefe: I-
Tam: *glares at him* You are so gay! You big parfait! You flaming one man cabaret!
Keefe: I'm straight!
Tam: *smirks* You were not yesterday.
Marella: Oop.
Tam: So if I may, I'm proud to say, he's gay!
Keeper: And European!
Tam: He's gay!
Keeper: And European!
Tam: He's gay!
Keeper: And European! And gay!
Tam: *kisses Keefe's cheek*
Keefe: *blushes* Fine, okay! I'm gay!
Everyone: Hooray!
*they hold their poses for about two seconds before all but Keefe burst into laughter*
Sophie: Oh my gnomes!
Biana: That... was the best... one.
Keefe: *still flustered* What's so funny?
Fitz: Well, it's all one big joke isn't it?
Keefe: *opens mouth but no words come out*
Dex: ... Isn't it?
Tam: *leans his head on Keefe's shoulder* Nope.
Keefe: *blushes harder*
Keeper: *silence for a bit*
Linh: OH MY GOSH FINALLY!
Everyone: *jumps*
Linh: The sexual tension has been killing me! It's about time! Tam, I am mad that you didn't tell me. But COME ON!
Tam: You're... what?
Linh: I'm so glad you guys finally figured out how feeling work! GEEZ! You're worse than Sophie.
Peggy: Falsehood.
Everyone: *jumps and turns to stare at her*
Peggy: Oh, did you guys forget I was here? Well, you're all free to leave if you want. Glad I could work this stuff out for you.
I don't know if I should be saying "I'm sorry" or "You're welcome". Guess we'll stick with: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Kwanzaa, and anything else you may be celebrating!
PS: Yes. The video is Sanders Sides. Deal with it.
You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net