Aqua: Achoo!

Kazuma: Aw, do you have a cold? Take care.

Aqua: Kazuma, you sound a little stuffy yourself. I'll finish mending your tracksuit in a jiffy.

Kazuma: You shouldn't have put it in the fireplace.

Aqua's stomach starts to growl as I continue eating popcorn.

Kazuma: Oh my, Are you hungry?

Aqua: Now that I think about it, I still haven't had breakfast yet.

Kazuma: You're the one who got carried away and used all our money on drinks.

Aqua's stomach starts to growl again as they fall silent. I threw popcorn at them as Aqua started crying.

Aqua: But everyone was drinking and having fun!

Kazuma stands over her with Aqua's expensive bottle of liquor as he stands with a dead stare.

Aqua: That looks like the expensive liquor I was hiding under my bed.

Kazuma: The pawnshop must be open by now.

Megumin: Come, Chomusuke.

[Y/N]: Hey, Megumin. Watch this.

I threw a popcorn as it flew right into Aqua's mouth that was yelling out yap.

Kazuma: How can you say that when you burned my tracksuit? We'll sell that scarf too.

Aqua: What are you saying? This scarf is part of my identity as a goddess. I can't sell this. Are you stupid? Stop joking.

Kazuma: .....Steal!

Kazuma steals Aqua's scarf as Megumin and I continue to watch. I looked inside my popcorn box to see nothing.

[Y/N]: Aw, I'm all out. Oh well.

Just then a lady burst in as we all looked at who it was.

???: [Y/N]! Help me! Please!

We all looked at her as her blonde hair and blue eyes reminded me of Darkness but this could not possibly be her.

[Y], K, A, M: Who are you?

-w-

Intro plays

-w-

We stared at the lady as I just looked at her confused.

[Y/N]: Have we met before?

???: *moans*

[Y/N] in the background: The heck? She likes that?

???: [Y/N], save the joke for later!

[Y/N]: No way, it really is Darkness. We were worried about you.

Aqua goes running after Darkness and cries in her boobs.

Aqua: Darkness! Kazuma... Kazuma.... he stripped me and is trying to sell off my most important thing!

Kazuma: Hey! Choice of words!

Megumin: Darkness, welcome home.

Darkness: it's good to be back. You have a cat?

Megumin: I won't ask what happened. You shoukd take a relaxing bath and heal your heart and body.

Darkness: What are you saying? I'm more curious about the special play Aqua was...

Aqua: What a lovely dress. It's expensive.

Everyone started to tear up as I was left confused. Didn't I threatened the jackass noble?

[Y/N]: What is-

Kazuma: We made you suffer.

Darkness: What's this misunderstanding? You thought that jackass noble was using me?

Kazuma: We're just glad you're back.

[Y/N]: Again what-

Kazuma slaps tape on my mouth again as I complete just stop talking. I don't want to make things any harder.

Kazuma: You should go have a warm bath and cry it out.

Darkness: Cut it out! *Rips tape* [Y/N] threatened that jackass and he doesn't have the guts to demand that from me. Isn't that right?

[Y/N]: *tearing up from the pain* Y-yeah..... definitely.....

Darkness: Anyway, this is the problem.

Darkness then hands me a piece of paper with a guy as he wasn't that handsome. But I don't want to judge.

[Y/N]: Whoa! Who's this handsome guy? It's irritating me. *rips paper*

Darkness: What are you doing!?

-w-

[Y/N]: Uh, my hand slipped.

-w-

Kazuma: That handsome guy is the lord's son?

Darkness: He wants me to marry his son in exchange for granting you guys a stay. These past few days, I've been trying to stop this arranged marriage. And calling for your name, [Y/N]. My father thinks highly of the son, though he can't say the same for Alderp. My father is very excited. Can you please help me persuade my father?

Aqua: All done!

Aqua gives the paper to Kazuma as I see that it was perfectly fixed. I talked to Darkness and wanted to spend time with her since it's been a few days since I've seen her. I look at Kazuma and see that he's staring at the paper. He rips it as the three girls try to stop him.

-w-

Aqua was crying, Darkness and Megumin are arguing with Kazuma and I'm comforting Aqua.

Kazuma: If we don't do this, that lord will request something more impossible.

Megumin: That's true..

Kazuma: Then why not acceot it and break it up later, Without defaming your family's name.

Darkness: That's it! Let's go with that! I won't have to knock down my father every time he brings up marriage.

[Y/N]: Geez, now I feel bad for her dad.

Sena: [Y/N][L/N]! Is [Y/N][L/N] here?

[Y/N]: No, he moved out and got married to Lalatina.

Darkness: Don't call me by that name!

Sena: Unknown monsters are surrounding the town. Have you any idea why? We'll have tou report immediately.

Megumin: He rufuses. Our precious member is in danger right now. We can't leave her alone.

Darkness: Megumin...

Kazuma: Calm down.

Kazuma stops for a second but I didn't want to read his mind. It might be something funny later on. He grabbed Megumin's shoulder as she turns around to look at him.

Kazuma: Megumin, can you go for me? Your explosion spell is perfect for fending off masses of monsters. Don't worry, Aqua, [Y/N] and I will take care of Darkness.

Megumin: But...

Kazuma: This is something only you can do.

Megumin: *gasp* Only.... me?

Kazuma: You're the strongest archwizard we can count on.

Megumin: Let me show them my power then!

Megumin goes off with Sena and the Knights as I just cross my arms and chuckled.

-w-

Megumin: Konosuba!

-w-

Ignis: Is it really all right, Lalatina?

Darkness: Yes, father. I, Lalatina, agree to meet with him.

[Y/N]: Why are you two laughing?

Ignis: Who are these three?

Darkness: My fellow adventurers. I want them to accompany me as my temporary steward and maid.

[Y/N]: And I volunteered as a personal assistant.

Ignis: I see.

-w-

Maids: How does it fit, sir?

Kazuma: It's not bad.

[Y/N]: Not bad at all. This will work fine.

(The pants are black)

A

qua was checking herself out as she really looks cute in a maid outfit.

Kazuma: It looks good on you.

[Y/N]: It sure does.

Kazuma: you look like a top-class servant.

[Y/N]: Wait what?

Aqua: You also look like a steward apprentice who's trying too hard. But [Y/N] looks better than you.

Kazuma: That's very funny. You're lucky I can't do anything to you while we're in a noble's house. Right, Miss Lalatina?

Darkness: *gasp* S-stop calling me Miss Lalatina!

[Y/N]: Don't worry, Darkness. It's a cute name.

Ignis asked Kazuma and I a favor. He asked us to ho his daughter so she doesn't blunder. And if the arranged marriage goes well, he promised to reward me. Look who's motivated. Of course, It's Kazuma.

Darkness: Don't forget our plan. I'm counting on you.

[Y/N]: I won't.

I stood beside Darkness as Kazuma and Aqua stood behind us. Ignis and Darkness started talking as I looked around. This place seems familiar. I heard Kazuma's voice as I turnes around to face him.

Kazuma: milady please, control yourself! Your partner will dislike

Darkness: You traitor!

[Y/N]: Kazuma?

Kazuma: Right now, I'm a temporary steward for the Dustiness household. I only wish for your happiness, Milady.

Ignis: Kazuma...

Darkness: Kazuma!

The doors then opened while I was holding Darkness from hurting Kazuma too much. A somewhat looking noble guy walks in which made me sick.

Darkness: So, you're my arranged partner. My name is Dustiness Ford Lalatina. You can call me Dust-

Kazuma grabbed my katana and threw it on the gown of Darkness's dress making her fall.

Kazuma: Milday! Please watch your step!

-w-

[Y/N]: Dude, what are you doing? Weren't you supposed to help Darkness on this?

Kazuma: Did you forget the part about not tarnishing her family's name?

Darkness: If I have a bad reputation, I will not get any more offers of marriage and I can freely continue to be an adventurer. I'm prepared to be disowned.

[Y/N]: Heh, you sound like a cute dork. Maybe I'll call you Dorkness.

Darkness: I don't know what's worst Lalatina or Dorkness. Anyway, I'll struggle to survive and accept difficult quests. Then I'll be seized and held down by the Devil King's army.

Kazuma: That's not...

Darkness: That's the kind of life I want!

Kazuma: You've finally admitted it.

Darkness: Besides, that guy is not my type at all. I've heard he's very kind, and never gets upset. He's a hardworker and became the youngest knight in history.

Aqua: Sounds good to me.

Darkness: Which part? If you're a noble, you better have a vulgar smile. What's with that sincere gaze? Why can't he... leer at my whole body like Kazuma does all the time?

[Y/N]: That's what you do, huh?

Kazuma: I don't look at you that way!

Darkness starts talking about her type she wants as nothing she said even related to me.

[Y/N]: Wow, I guess I'm not your type. I wonder why you even hangout with me...

Darkness: You're different! You're like Kazuma but less perverted!

Kazuma: I'm not a pervert!

-w-

We sat down in a private room where Aqua, Darkness, Kazuma, Ignis, Walther and I were at. I sat next to Darkness as Kazuma and Aqua stood behind us. I became distant towards Darkness where she kept wanting to talk to me.

Walther: My name is Alexei Barnes Walther.

Darkness: My name is Dustiness For Lalatina... [Y/N], come on...

[Y/N]: *grumbles*

Darkness: *sigh* I'll leave out my family specifics. As the son of an upstart lord, you- AHH!

Walther: What's wrong?

Darkness: When I saw Walther-sama's face, I felt nauseous- eeee!

Kazuma: My lady is in high-spiritz to be able to finally meet you, Walther-sama.

I look at Kazuma and see his hand filled with frost. I turn around and look out the window not bothering to talk or anything. But that goak was never achieved.

Ignis: [Y/N].

[Y/N]: *sigh* Yes, my lord?

Ignis: Bring these two to the garden please. You will accompany them for a little walk.

[Y/N]: Yes, my lord.

-w-

Aqua looks in the lake as she whistles and claps her hands while fishes gather around and look for Aqua's attention while Kazuma was begging for her to teach him.

[Y/N]: *in thoughts* Damn! I get why Kazuma is begging for it!

Walther: What are your hobbies?

Darkness: A little goblin hunting.... [Y/N], please talk to me.

[Y/N]: *grumbles*

Walther: Oh, you two are very close.

[Y/N]: What do you expect? I don't care if your a lord's son. Miss Lalatina is one of my party members and I had to threaten your dad to not do anything to her. But instead, he brought you into this? Isn't that great?

Walther: Ah, No personal assistant has ever said that to me. Even for party members you two are certainly close.

Darkness: .....hehe

[Y/N]: hehe?

Darkness: Yes, I'm constantly with [Y/N] over here. Even during meals, baths.... and even during I sleep.

[Y/N]: Hey, don't bring that up.

(Few days earlier)

[Y/N]: Ugh, I'm pretty tired. Are you tired, Darkness?

Darkness: Yes, I certainly am. Hey, how about you sleep with me tonight?

[Y/N]: What the?

Darkness: Apologies for the sudden invitation. I just wanted to get comfortable at night.

[Y/N]: *sigh* sure, I'll sleep with you.

Darkness: Yay!

(Present)

Darkness: I can't do this any longer!

She started ripping her gown as I hear Kazuma liking the view as Walther and I were just shocked.

Walther and [Y/N]: °■°

Darkness: [Y/N]! Please talk to me! Ergh, and you! Walther is your name, right? I want to see what your made of!

[Y/N]: Hey! Darkness... *stares*

Darkness: See! You so-called noble. Take note of this repulsive look that's always on his face.

Walther: Lalatina-sama, I am a knight. I can't point a sword at a lady.

[Y/N]: Bullshit!

Kazuma: What's bullshit?

Darkness: What a coward. These two over here, boasts that he can drop kick a girl because they believe in gender equality.

Walther: Actually, I came today to refuse this arranged marriage. But i changed my mind after seeing you. You're frank but also have an endearing side to you. You clearly have your opinion and treat your personal assistant the same as everyone. It sparked an interest in you.

-w-

Walther: Isn't it enough? Why do you not give up?

Darkness: Stop holding back and attack me! Show me your full strength!

So far, Darkness's sword hasn't grazed him once, and Walther has the upper-hand. Darkness looks cute with her makeup but I haven't told her that yet. But then Walther stand straight and drops his sword.

Walther: You win. I may win in ability but your strength of will is stronger. I cannot strike you anymore. You are a very strong person.

[Y/N]: Hey, Dorkther! Even if you give up she won't like that! After all, She's a masochist!

Darkness: [Y/N]! Come and teach him your ruthless and heretic ways.

[Y/N]: If that's a compliment then I hate it.

Walther: I'd like to see the fighting style of the person Lalatina-sama trusts.

[Y/N]: Shut up, Dork. Fine, I'll do it.

I went over infromt of Darkness and crossed my arms. She stared at me for a while with a blush as I just give her a menacing glare.

[Y/N]: Your makeup look so thick.

Darkness: *moans* What!?

[Y/N]: Your vouce is a bit screechy.

Darkness: *moans* S-stop it.

[Y/N]: You have absolutely disappointed me.

Darkness: *moans* W-wait.

Kazuma: Whoa! [Y/N] is beating her with words!

Walther: Huh?

[Y/N]: What? It's just a couple insults.

Walther: I didn't think this would be how you fight.

[Y/N]: Well, your loss. Don't just stand there, Darkness. Fight me.

Darkness: Very well then.

She comes running after me as I just stood there without moving. My eyes then went white as she stopped running.

[Y/N]: You have a fat ass! Your weak! I don't know you at all! This isn't the Darkness I know!

Darkness: *moans* you monster!

[Y/N]: Am I? Just to be sure of your statement. When we get home, you're gonna get something crazy.

Darkness: Something.... crazy? Something crazy... something crazy? Some... sho.... shomfing cwazy!

She then drops to the floor and panting heabily while being soaked with sweat. I think she passed out.

[Y/N]: Guess I won.

The door opens as Ignis comes in with a bottle of liquor.

Ignis: I brought some drinks...

He drops the bottle when he sees Darkness on the floor clearly passed out soaked with sweat. Walther and I look at each other for a moment.

Aqua: Those two did it.

Ignis: Execute them.

Walther and [Y/N]: No! It's not what you think!

-w-

Darkness: Konosuba.

-w-

Ignis: My daughter was never good with people. She became a crusader, but she was alone. She went to Eris-sama's church everyday and prayed for friends to have adventures with. One day, she came home happily saying she had befriended a girl who was a thief. I lost my wife and raised her on my own. So i may have spoily her a bit, but I raised her to be free. That must not have been good.

I was sitting on the couch where Darkness was sleeping on as I held her hand. She seems to enjoy it and hold it more as I smiled. Hold on, she went to pray at Eris's church for a friend and Chris came along? Chris and Eris? Both have flat chest. Same coloured eyes and hair. Wait, did Eris come to this world to answer Darkness's prayers!?

Walther: I think Lalatina-sama is a wonderful woman. If not for [Y/N], I'd seriously want her as my wife.

[Y/N]: Please, I may be in love with her but I think I'm in love with my party members. That goes for you as well, Aqua. I don't want any romance between us but I'd like to spend more time with you all.

Walther: Please pick Lalatina-sama.

[Y/N]: Hey! Step outside! Who cares if you're a lord's son? That dad of yours is a corrupted one anyway!

Aqua and Kazuma: Hey! Stop it! We'll get executed too!

Ignis starts laughing as we turn our heads towards him. He then looks up and looks at me with caring eyes.

Ignis: I'll leave my daughter in you care, [Y/N]. Please watch over her so she doesn't do anything foolish.

[Y/N]: *in thoughts* Oh, if wanting to get hurt is foolish then I'll have to watch her all the time.

I then nodded as I reached for Darkness's hand again. This time she intertwined her fingers with mine and got up.

Ignis: Are you awake?

Darkness: Is it... over? [Y- [Y/N]! I'm sorry!

She lets go of my hand as I smiled and hugged her. She was confused at first but decided to hug me back. Kazuma and Aqua later joined in as we stayed like that for a few seconds.

[Y/N]: Darkness, Sorry for what I said earlier. All those weren't meant to be true.

Darkness: It's quite alright. Wait, who changed me? Was it Kazuma!?

Kazuma: Oi! What made you think it was me! When you slept the mood kinda got serious!

Darkness: Huh.... Hehe.

[Y/N]: Hehe?

Darkness: Father, Walther-sama, please cancel this arranged marriage. I was keeping it a secret until now, but I'm carrying [Y/N]'s child-

[Y/N]: What the!? Hey! How could you bring that up!? Also, I used fucking protection!!

Walther started to laugh as I rolled up my sleeve. Aqua quickly unrolled it as she stood beside me.

Walther: Is that so? You're carrying [Y/N]'s child? I'll tell my father that I refused. That seems more convenient. *wink*

[Y/N]: What..... the....... fuck.......

He left the room as I turn to Ignis to see that he was crying. I quickly got a hand towel and wiped his tears while he keeps crying.

Ignis: Granchild..... My first Grandchild. I'm going to have a cute grandchild!

Aqua: I didn't know you two were like t-that. I must tell people. I have to tell everyone in town. The Scorpion and Darkness....

Kazuma: [Y/N], I'm so proud of you...

[Y/N]: I didn't fucking know my party had more than one dumb animal.

Sena then came bursting through the door with Megumin as I look at her and expected what she was going to say.

Sena: [Y/N][L/N]. Where is [Y/N][L/N]?

[Y/N]: He's back at the mansion.