Luna: Destroyer alert! Destroyer alert! All citizens, evacuate at once! All adventurers, equip yourselves and report to the adventurer's guild!

Y/N: 

You ran outside the mansion and saw Kazuma and Aqua.

Aqua: Kazuma! Y/N! We're running away! We're running far away!

Kazuma: Huh?

Y/N: Aqua, how did you get here so fast?

Aqua: Panic, I guess.

Megumin: The mobile fortress, Destroyer... Fighting that thing is reckless, at best.

Kazuma: I keep asking, what's a Destroyer?!

Darkness: An ancient weapon that went on a rampage. They say that where it passes through, not even grass remains.

Y/N: Okay, let's fight it. We're going to the guild.

Aqua: Why?

Kazuma: I agree with Y/N. Like hell we're gonna let the house we finally earned, after so much work, be destroyed that easily!

*TIMESKIP brought to you by chibi scared Aqua being dragged by chibi Y/N*

The Guild

Luna: All of you are this city's last bastion of hope. We humbly request your assistance.

Lady with crystal ball: At present, the mobile fortress, Destroyer, is on direct path our way, invading from the northwest. One hour remains until its arrival.

The crystal ball was showing what the Destroyer was doing but suddenly the picture went off

Random Arch Wizard: Um... The Destroyer was created by an ancient magical kingdom, correct? Did the people who created it prepare any countermeasures?

Luna: They were the first to perish in the Destroyer's rampage.

Chris: You should all run away immediately.

Darkness: No, they can't. The townspeople will all lose their homes.

Chris: You're as stubborn as ever, Darkness.

She approached you and pulled your sleeve

Chris: Hey, you. Got any bright ideas?

Y/N: Well, actually yes. Aqua, couldn't you break its barrier?

Aqua: I have no way to know unless I try.

Luna: You can break the Destroyer's barrier?!

Y/N: We can try

Luna: Aside from that, we'll need some heavy-hitting magic...

Adventurer: We have that. If we need firepower, we have her, don't we? The crazy one.

Adventurer 2: That's right. The crazy one!

Adventurer 3: We do have the crazy girl!

Everybody was looking at Megumin: Stare...

Megumin: Hey, wait! If you are talking about me, don't call me by that nickname! Otherwise, I'll prove just how crazy I am right here and now!

Y/N: Your explosion magic is the greatest firepower this city has. What do you say, Megumin?

Megumin: I don't think even my explosion magic can take it down in a single blow.

Y/N: Don't worry. It'll be fine. I've got a plan but we need-

Wiz: I'm sorry I'm late! I'm the proprietor of Wiz's Magical Tool Shop. I'm a qualified adventurer, so I've come to help...

Adventurer: It's the shopkeeper!

Another adventurer: The destitute shopkeeper is here!

And another one: We can win this! We can win this now!

Everybody was cheering and screaming happily

Wiz: Huh? Huh?

Kazuma: Why is she so famous? And don't call her a "destitute shopkeeper." I feel bad for her.

Dust: Don't you know? She made a name for herself as a master arch wizard once upon a time.

Kazuma: Her true identity is an undead lich, though...

Y/N: Wiz! I'm glad you're here. We need your help. I'll tell you everything

Luna: All right, everyone. The emergency quest will now begin!

Emergency Quest: Protect the City from the Mobile Fortress, Destroyer!

Everyone was building a barricade when you were talking with Wiz and Megumin about your plan. 

Megumin: You want to be what?!

Y/N: I'll be fine. Don't worry. I trained a lot and I can do this!

Megumin: It'll be third time when I hit you with my explosion magic...

Y/N: We are Explosion Buddies. I can handle it. 

Later

You saw Darkness standing still with Kazuma and decided to walk to them. You were just standing behind them, not interrupting their chat

Kazuma: Hey, Darkness. I know how stubborn you are, but set aside your hopeless fetishes for now and join us at the edge of the road-

Darkness: Given my usual behavior, it can't be helped that you would think that way, but do you really think I'm a woman of such rigid adherence to my own desires?

Kazuma: Sure. It's obvious you are.

Darkness: Wha-... A-Ahem. I must protect the inhabitants of this land. I'm sure the residents of this city won't pay me any mind, but that, at the very least, is how I feel.

Kazuma: Do you have some reason for that?

Darkness: My real name is Dustiness Ford Lalatina.

Kazuma: Lala- What was that?

Y/N *mind*: Don't sing it, don't sing it, don't! Oh fuck... La la na na, la la la la la na na na na na. Get out of my mind!

She turned around to face Kazuma and she saw you

Darkness: Gaaah! When did you get here Y/N?!

Y/N: I've been here all the time.

Darkness: So, you heard my real name?

Y/N: Yes

Darkness: Oh. I will explain, then. I'm the daughter of the Dustiness family, which governs this area.

Y/N & Kazuma: So you're a rich girl?!

Y/N: That explains the crabs her family sent

Darkness: Don't tell the others.

Kazuma: Oh, uh, sure...

Darkness: I am a knight. Protecting the livelihoods of my countrymen is both my duty and my honor.

Kazuma: Okay...

Darkness: Do you dislike selfish, stubborn allies?

Kazuma: *sigh* A certain arch priest's selfish whims annoy me and make me want to slap her.

Y/N: *chuckle*

Kazuma: But I don't mind when someone like you is selfish.

Darkness: I see

Kazuma looked at you and you looked at him with a smirk

Y/N & Kazuma: Lalatina

Darkness: Don't call me by that name!

KONOSUBA!

You were going back on your positions with Kazuma

Kazuma: I'm telling you, I left the light on but when I woke up it was off.

Y/N: And Darkness was magically in the same bathroom

Kazuma: Yup. It was kinda magical *chuckle* I was thinking: Hey, it's my dream so I can do whatever I want.

Y/N: And you asked her to wash your back

Kazuma: That's right

Y/N: How was it?

Kazuma: I can't complain. It was ennjoyable. 

Y/N: Hmmm... interesting

Kazuma: She's got some humongous hungolomghnonoloughongous.

Y/N Say that again, please.

Kazuma: What? Hungolomghnonoloughongous?

Y/N: Teach me master! Teach me the way of boobs.

You both laughed 

Later

Luna: All adventurers! The Destroyer will be within sight soon! Please prepare for battle!

Dust: It's... It's huge...

Y/N: That's what she said

Y/N: That's a big spider

Kazuma: Will we be okay? Can we handle this?

Aqua: Hey, Wiz! You're up for this, right?!

Wiz: Please leave it to me, Aqua-sama. I may not look it, but I am the highest-ranked undead.

*Ains Ooal Gown wants to know your location*

Aqua: You're really up for this, right?!

Wiz: If I should fail, let's return to the soil together on good terms.

Aqua: That's not funny! That's not funny! Y/N, are you okay over there?!

Megumin: I'm okay. I am strong. I am strong.

Y/N: It's not looking good.

Megumin: I am the finest of crimson demons, a genius magician...

Y/N: Hey, calm down. Try not to overthink it and stick to the plan.

Megumin: I'll blow... blow it away with my explosion magic!

Y/N: Hey, hey, too soon, too soon!

Adventurer: Here it comes!

Aqua summoned her staff 

Y/N: Thor? Is that you?

Aqua: Sacred... Break Spell!

She launched a powerful spell at the Destroyer breaking its barrier 

Y/N: She is quite powerful... not gonna lie

Kazuma: Now!

Wiz: Megumin-san, launch a concurrent strike!

Y/N: Hey, Megumin!

She was shaking and mumbling something

Y/N: *sigh* We don't have time for this

You grabbed her and hugged her tight, she was blushing heavily from sudden contact.

Y/N: I believe in your explosion magic and I thought that you were believing in it too. Please, we do not have time *you kissed her forehead and her face was red like a tomato* Show me your best explosion  

Megumin: I-I'll show you the power of explosion magic! Go on your position Y/N and get ready for the strongest magic you've ever seen!

You ran to the position and got ready

Megumin: He kissed my forehead...That was nice but I would be even happier if he kissed my lips

Wiz & Megumin: Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson. The time of awakening cometh. Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now as an intangible distortion! 

Y/N: Ah, just in time... ABSORPTION!

Wiz & Megumin: Explosion!

Y/N: I trained a lot. I was forced to change my fighting style because of this crazy god. Nerfed huh? I will show him that even nerfed I can still kick some ass! I will win... no... we will win. Me and my friends are going to be legends in this world. Whatever it takes!

FLASHBACK

Megumin: You want to be what?!

Y/N: I'll be fine. Don't worry. I trained a lot and I can do this!

Megumin: It'll be third time when I hit you with my explosion magic...

Y/N: We are Explosion Buddies. I can handle it. 

Wiz: But Y/N-san, isn't two explosion spells at the same time too much for a human to handle?

Y/N: Don't worry. I believe in my abilities. I learned how to modify some of my skills and I modified one of them in a very useful way. I learned how to absorb energy with my Absorption.

Wiz: Isn't it similar to Drain Touch? 

Y/N: Can your Drain Touch absorb an explosion magic? 

Wiz: N-No...

Y/N: And you must touch someone to use your skill. I don't have to. Shot me with a rocket launcher and I'll absorb its power

Megumin: What is a rocket launcher?

Y/N: I'll show you someday. You will like it *smirk*

Back to present

The powerful magic of two great magicians hit you right in the face but it didn't explode, it was now inside your body. You absorbed it.

Kazuma: Don't tell me that he is like a human bomb now. What a kamikaze

Y/N: This is the greatest high!

You started to walk slowly towards the Destroyer

Adventurer: What a powerful aura

Adventurer 2: I don't want to piss him off

You looked up in the sky and jumped, making a huge crater in the ground. You were now looking at the Destroyer from the sky

Y/N: What a great view, but it's time for a little explosion

A/N: I created this video. I know it's not the best and it's a total trash but I wanted to show you how our fight would look like. Don't mind the subtitles. I couldn't find a clip without them so I used this one. They are meaningless in our story so don't mind them.

Aqua: He did it!

Megumin was lying on the floor and blushing.

Megumin: That baka did it *giggle* I hope he is fine

Adventurer: They did it?!

Another adventurer: When this is all over, I'm getting married.

Kazuma: Hey, don't say anything that'll trigger a flag right now!

Aqua: Come on, let's go back and celebrate! I wonder how much the reward will be!

Kazuma: You idiot! Why do you love cliches like that?!

Aqua: Huh?

Destroyer's eyes started to flash red

Kazuma: See?! What did I tell you?!

Aqua: Huh?!

Destroyer: Due to extreme damage, the self-destruct sequence will now initiate. All crew, please evacuate immediately. All crew, please evacuate immediately.

Everybody: Are you serious?!

Super Emergency Quest: Prevent the Mobile Fortress, Destroyer, from Self-Destructing.

Adventurer: It's no use. 

Everybody started to panic and run away for their lives.

Adventurers: It can't be done! It's hopeless! Run for it!

Kazuma: Darkness! Let's find Y/N and we're evacuating!

Darkness: I cannot withdraw until the very end. A knight mustn't run away before her countrymen.

Kazuma: Darkness...

Darkness: Besides, when I think about exposing myself to a bomb massive enough to obliterate a city, I wonder...

Kazuma: Huh?

Darkness: What is this rising excitement like nothing I've felt before? Will I be able to withstand it? No, no matter how sturdy I may be, it's unlikely I'll get through this unscathed *she was panting, sweating and blushing* I can't stand it any longer! Kazuma!

Kazuma: Yes, I'm Kazuma.

Darkness: I'm charging in!

Kazuma: Huh? Hey!

Darkness: I'll be back!

She charged at the Destroyer

Adventurer: Hey, Darkness-san is charging in!

Everyone: Huh?

Priest: I see! She intends to destroy it before it can explode!

Adventurer: All to protect the city!

Random adventurer: I'm going for it! *Succubi flashback* I owe this city so much!

Adventurer: Even though I'm already past level 30... *Succubi flashback* I remember now why I'm still in this city of beginners.

Dust: In fact, after all the inexpensive hospitality I've received...*Succubi flashback* If I can't repay the debt now, I'm done for as a human being!

His party: Yeah!

Another adventurer: Don't be scared! We'll follow her, too!

Everybody: Yeah! Go!

Everyone rushed at the Destroyer

Wiz: Kazuma-san. If we can locate the control device, we may be able to stop the self-destruct.

Kazuma: Darkness definitely barged in without thinking of that.

Aqua: Okay, let's find Y/N fast and go home. 

Later

They were looking for you and for the control device. You were just sitting there and waiting for them. They found you chilling on the stairs like that, covered in blood, with one of your eyes closed and some scratches on your face

Y/N: What took you so long?

Y/N: What took you so long?

Wiz/Aqua/Kazuma: Y/N!

Y/N: You thought it was Y/N, but it was-

Kazuma: Dude are you okay?!

Y/N: Bro, you interrupted my quote ;_;

Aqua: Here, let me heal you. Heal!

Y/N: Ahh, much better. Oh, and I found something interesting

You pointed your finger at the skeleton sitting on a throne or something similar to that

Wiz: Is that a member of the crew?

Aqua: He's already passed on. Not only did he not turn undead, but he passed away peacefully, with no lingering attachments.

Kazuma: No, he must have had attachments! He totally looks like he died a solitary lonesome death...

Y/N: Look. It's his diary but it is in japanese. Can you read it?

*TIMESKIP brought to you by chibi Destroyer's creator being an idiot and talking about his past*

Y/N: What is this?

Wiz: Coronatite. It's out of control. 

Kazuma: *to Aqua* Can't you do something about this? Doesn't it happen all the time? A goddess seals away an evil power or something?

Aqua: What's with that self-serving, wild idea? Hey, Wiz, can't you do something about this?

Wiz: I could use teleportation magic to send it somewh-

Aqua: Do that!

Y/N: Can't you just freeze it or something?

Wiz: It's too hot. The ice will melt. Teleportation seems the best option but I don't have enough magic! Um, Kazuma-san... I have a request.

Kazuma: Wh-What is it?

Wiz: Would you let me suck it out?

Kazuma: With pleasure.

Y/N: Interesting

Wiz: Thank you

Kazuma: No, thank you.

Wiz: Now then...

Kazuma: Bring it

Kazuma was ready for a kiss but suddenly Wiz used Drain Touch on him. Purple light was flowing from his head to Wiz's hands 

Wiz: I'm sorry! Drain Touch!

Aqua: Hey! Kazuma is driving up!

You walked to Kazuma who was lying on the floor

Kazuma: Don't say anything

Y/N: Ok.

Wiz: I should be able to use teleportation magic now!

Kazuma: I see

Wiz: But there's a problem... I have limited control over its destination

Kazuma: Hey, this isn't good! The stone's surpassed red, and is shining white now!

Y/N: I could absorb its power with my Absorption-

Wiz: No! It will kill you, Y/N-san! I can send it away immediately if I do a random teleport, but...

Kazuma: Do that, then!

Wiz: But if it goes poorly, it could be sent somewhere densely populated.

Y/N: Shield Prison!

The coronatite was now inside the cage made out of green shields

Y/N: I bought you some time but make the decision already! My Shield Prison will also weaken this shit explosion.

Kazuma: It's a big world out there! It's okay. I'll take responsibility. I may not look it, but I apparently have good luck!

Wiz: Understood. Please do, Kazuma-san. Teleport!

Y/N: I'll ask her later to teach me this skill

Destroyer: Initiating... self...

You all walked to the roof of the Mobile Fortress and saw Darkness

Y/N: What's up Tankness?

Darkness: It's not over. My sharp sense of smell can sniff out a worthy fore, and it's still detecting the savory aroma of danger. It's not over yet.

Y/N: Maybe you are just hungry-

The Destroyer started to shake and was heating up

Kazuma: Huh? What's that?

Y/N: Hey, I thought we removed the coronatite!

Wiz: Could this be... Its internally-stored heat is escaping? At this rate, the city will become a sea of flames!

Kazuma: So there was no point in sending the coronatite away! Use Explosion