Ville's P.O.V

I woke up by someone's sobs. I felt my chest completly wet. It was because of Nastya's tears. It was about five in the morning when I felt it. I looked at her worried, so I shook her arm, trying to wake her up.

''Nastya, wake up.'' I mumbled, but she didn't react. She seemed to be trapped into a nightmare. ''Nastya, wake up, please.'' I repeated this time louder. She sat in the bed running her hands through her face.

''Oh my God.'' She whispered sobbing. I sat beside her but I did nothing, I wanted to gave her space enough to calm and feel ready to talk if she wanted to. I tied her hair into a ponytail while she had her eyes closed.

''Do you want a glass of water?'' I asked her.

''If you don't mind.'' She sobbed again. Luckily Eicca gave us a bottle of water and a couple glasses because he knew Nastya didn't feel okay. We had to lie and tell him she had a headache before we went to the bedroom.

''Here.'' I sighed, passing her the glass of water. ''What's wrong, darling?'' I asked again as she drank it.

''I had a nightmare.'' She said.

''Do you want to talk about it?''

''It was about... Him.'' She replied. ''Why he had to do that to me? Was I that bad? Was I a bad girlfriend or what, Ville?''

''Ruska, look at me.'' I sighed taking her hands. ''You didn't do anything wrong.''

''But...''

''You dated him, that's okay, and it is too you can't forget what happened.'' I said. ''You need to take your time to leave all of that hell behind you.''

''I don't know if I'll be able to.'' Another tear fell.

''You'll be.'' I said wiping her tears away. ''You have Jonne, Eicca, Alexandra... You have me here. I won't leave you alone.''

''Ville, you'll find something better to do, I know it.'' She shook her head. ''And you know what bothers me more? That I don't love him, and I've been living that hell without need it, but I did because I felt sorry for him, because he was all alone and nobody was with him.''

''I see.'' I whispered. It broke me up.

''You know, the other day... When he appeared at the pub, I tried to broke up with him before that. I did it a few days ago, but I was homeless, I needed to keep living with him, and I couldn't tell Jonne or you about it.'' She paused. ''And you don't have to do this. You don't have to date me if you feel sorry for me, you don't need and you don't have to. I know you do not like me and that's okay.''

''Nastya... Stop blaming yourself, please.'' I said. ''I don't think you're right, and you're half asleep, but...'' I sighed shaking my head. ''One day you'll see everything's okay, and you'll see someone's loving you.'' I whispered. ''Go back to sleep, okay?''

''Can I hug you?'' She asked.

''Come here.'' I sighed.

''I'm sorry.'' She whispered after a few minutes. She laid back about to close her eyes.

''It's okay, dear.'' I whispered.

''I love you.'' She mumbled before fall asleep again. I kissed her forehead lightly.

I couldn't see her like that. Those words had broken me inside. I did understand what she was going through, I could, I should and I had to understand it. I cared about her, but she was wrong.

Of course I liked her, of course I wanted so bad to be with her, but it wasn't our time. I knew what would happen if she started to date someone after... Kimi. And also she was acting weird.

I wanted to think she wasn't into something strange, like... Pills. But I couldn't help it. I was when we left each other those days.

I went downstairs making my way towards the kitchen to think clearly. With a pack of cigarettes behind me, I opened the back door to have one. I needed it.

''Ville?'' I heard someone ask me. I turned back.

''Alexandra.'' I sighed. ''What are you doing awake? It's about... Six in the morning.'' I replied coming back to the kitchen.

''Same to you!'' She chuckled. ''I couldn't sleep anymore, and also I always wake up at this hour. More or less.''

''You should get some sleep.'' I said and she shrugged.

''What about you?'' She asked.

''Well... I couldn't sleep anymore, so same as you.'' I sighed and sat.

''Ville, is anything wrong?'' She asked a little bit worried. I looked at her and then at the door. ''Okay, I get it.'' She said and closed it.

''Nastya had a nightmare.'' I whispered.

''Is she okay?''

''Alexandra... I think there's something you should know, but you can't tell Eicca about it, please.'' I mumbled. ''I need you to promise me that.''

''I promise, but you're worrying me.'' She whispered and sat too.

''You know how I found Nastya again, do you?'' I asked her.

''Yeah, she told me you came to the pub and then you'd been talking...''

''Okay.'' I nodded my head. ''Do you know about her ex?''

''She said they just broke up.'' Alexandra replied. ''Ville, tell me what's going on.''

''Did she tell you why she's taking painkillers?'' I asked again.

''Migraine.'' Alexandra sighed. ''It better be.''

''That guy was mistreating her.'' I mumbled.

''Oh God.'' She mumbled looking at me without believe it.

''Please, don't tell Eicca.'' I begged her. I was about to cry.

''How...?''

''The second day I went to the pub... He almost kill her, but we stopped him.'' I said now crying. ''I can't see her suffering like that.''

''Ville, you did what you could and what you had to.'' She sighed taking my hands. ''You really love her, am I wrong?''

''I... I'm not good talking about my feelings.'' I shrugged. ''I just can tell you we won't be anything.''

''Eicca... Well, we've been talking about you two.'' She said after a few minutes when I felt a little bit better. ''We know you'll be together sooner or later.''

''Alexandra, I've got to go out for a few months.'' I replied.

''Enough to tell her when you come back.'' She said.

''Thank you.'' I whispered.

''Come on, Ville.'' She comforted me. ''Don't thank me anything.''