SweetProspitDreams requested: Dirk/Dave

~

DAVE: ...
DAVE: ...
DAVE: yall know that hes my ecto brother right?

KARKAT: OF COURSE THEY KNOW DAVE. LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.

DAVE: alright
DAVE: since this is technically a ship with ME in it, ill be doing most of the talking.
DAVE: obviously i aint up for this shit due to the obvious reason that hes technically my brother or dad or whatever that ecto biology bullshit classifies this as.
DAVE: also hes still attempting to either get over or reconnect with jake.
DAVE: hes doing something involving jake
DAVE: and finally, the main reason as to why this ship is fuckin wrong in my book
DAVE: yknow, other than the incest part of this.
DAVE: im still very much traumatized. my childhood wasnt exactly...good.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: okay good isnt the best example
DAVE: he was fuckin horrible
DAVE: worse than horrible
DAVE: jesus fuck, if he knew he was gonna be a shitty ass guardian why did he even take me in?
DAVE: though i probably shouldnt talk about bro when im supposed to be talking about dirk
DAVE: but that bro shit applies
DAVE: when i first realized id be talking to a young dickbag i freaked the fuck out
DAVE: remember that?

KARKAT: I REMEMBER. 

DAVE: yeah.
DAVE: but yeah seeing young bro fucked me up
DAVE: but dirks cool
DAVE: hes really trying to be the older brother i never had
DAVE: hes working on his personality and trying to become a better, less manipulative person overall.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: shit, i was supposed to reacting to this ship no ranting about my feelings and shit
DAVE: but yeah
DAVE: ship is a definite no in the book of strider but if yall wanna ship it go ahead.
DAVE: go on and draw your fan art and make headcanons and write fanfics
DAVE: go crazy
DAVE: just please don't turn us into kawaii anime nerds who's kokoros go doki doki just by staring into senpai's eyes.