( @Trashyfanatic21 requested: Fefkat)

DAVE: lol
DAVE: is it bad that all i can think of right now is the little mermaid???
DAVE: except angrier

KARKAT: YOU SEE THIS IS WHY A METEOR DESTROYED OUR WORLDS.
KARKAT: IT'S BECAUSE IT WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU BEFORE YOU SAID STUPID JOKES LIKE THAT.

DAVE: awwww
DAVE: i love you too <3

KARKAT: PLEASE NO MORE LITTLE MERMAID JOKES
KARKAT: THEY MAKE ME WANNA DIE.

DAVE: watching barack obama leave the White House made me feel that way too
DAVE: a lil tear rolled down my cheek.
DAVE: but dont worry ariel, no more jokes

KARKAT: *SIIIIIGH*
KARKAT: ANYWAY.
KARKAT: NO.
KARKAT: I CAN NEVER SEE FEFERI AND I IN A RELATIONSHIP EVER. SHE KIND OF SUCKS.
KARKAT: SHE WAS A SHIT MOIRAIL TO ERIDAN AND THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY.
KARKAT: ...
KARKAT: SHE SHOULD'VE TRIED TALKING TO HIM INSTEAD OF JUST DUMPING HIM LIKE THAT.
KARKAT: NOW *THAT'S* ALL I'M GONNA SAY.
KARKAT: LISTEN, SHE'S COOL AND ALL BUT SHE ISN'T SOMEONE I WOULD WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH ROMANTICALLY. MOST PEOPLE WOULD AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME I'M ONLY WITH HER SO I'D BE EXONERATED FROM ANY EXECUTIONS DUE TO BLOOD WHICH ISN'T A PROBLEM HERE BUT STILL.
KARKAT: SECOND, HER FISH PUNS SUCK AND I HATE THEM.
KARKAT: THIRD, SHE JUST ISN'T THE PERSON FOR ME. SHE ISN'T "MY TYPE" I GUESS. SHE'S MORE OF A HAPPIER PERSON AND WOULD TAKE MY ANGRY RAMBLINGS TO HEART AND WOULD GET TOO UPSET AND TOO WORRIED ONLY TAKING THE EFFECT OF THE RAMBLINGS OUT AND LEAVING THEM A COLD SHELL OF NOTHING. EVENTUALLY I WOULD STOP SOING THAT THEREFORE STOP DOING THINGS I ENJOY THAT WOULD UPSET HER AND SOON ENOUGH WE'RE BARELY TALKING UNTIL ONE OF US LET'S OUT A HALF HEARTED BREAK UP WITH THE OTHER.

DAVE: holy fuck.
DAVE: seriously
DAVE: holy fuck

KARKAT: YEAH. IN MY HEAD I DATE EVERYONE TO SEE HOW IT WOULD GO AND THAT'S HOW SHE ENDED.

DAVE: ok now THATS weird and creepy
DAVE: just a bit
DAVE: but still. wow did. that was uh. sad

KARKAT:  YEP.
KARKAT: BUT THAT'S HOW IT WOULD END.
KARKAT: SORRY I CRUSHED YOUR SILLY SND POSSIBLY MARINE LIFE RELATED SHIP.
KARKAT: OH WAIT.
KARKAT: I'M NOT SORRY.