@That_Weird_Brunette requested: KarKan

DAVE: !!!!!!!!!!!
DAVE: i get a chance to be the fangirl this time!!!

DAVE: okay okay so these two are like
DAVE: fuckin perfect together.
DAVE: yall dont understand cause ya havent lived with them for three goddamn years but theyre amazing.
DAVE: honestly, if i werent as manly of a man as i am, i would say that these two morherfuckers are very goddamn adorable together.

KARKAT: HE'S OVER EXAGGERATING. KANAYA AND I AREN'T *THAT* CUTE TOGETHER.

DAVE: but dude you are.
DAVE: and if anything im UNDER exaggerating.
DAVE: like the other day, idk what happened but you were all upset and she just kind picked you up and carried you to your weird pillow pile and you two fuckin snuggled until you were better and you ran off to finish your trashy novel.
DAVE: that scene warmed my cold, dead heart.
DAVE: i had actual tears forming karkat.
DAVE: or like sometimes the two of you will like..."join forces" and out sass the goddamn SHIT outta everyone within a ten foot radius and honestly that is true friend goals.
DAVE: dont even get me started on your weird protection thing for one another.

KARKAT: DON'T TELL THEN.

DAVE: im telling them.
DAVE: okay so when kanaya and rose started dating karkat sat rose down and had a very long and stern talk to her about how important kanaya was to him and how shed better not treat her the way vriska treated her.
DAVE: but when karkat stared dating ME kanaya fucking threatened me.
DAVE: like she legit threatened me. she pulled out her lipstick and did her spooky rainbow drinker sling glowy thingy and swore to cut off my "shame globes" if I hurt karkats feelings.
DAVE: minus the terrifying part of it, it was still adorable.

KARKAT: UGH, YEAH, SO ANYWAY KANAYA IS A GREAT MOIRAIL. SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT GIVING ADVICE AND KIND AND A GREAT LISTENER AND IT HELPS THAT I'VE KNOWN HER FOR SUCH A LONG TIME. WE KNOW IF THE OTHER IS BOTHERED BY SOMETHING BEFORE WE KNOW IT OURSELVES. AND WE DO HAVE PRETTY FUN BONDING NIGHTS.
KARKAT: ON MY NIGHTS WERE READ TO ONE ANOTHER OR WATCH MOVIES AND ON HER NIGHTS SHE USES ME AS A WEIRD LIFE-SIZE DOLL TO MAKE HER DRESSES OR WE'LL KNIT TOGETHER.
KARKAT: I'M REALLY FUCKING LUCKY TO HAVE KANAYA AS A PALE MATE.
KARKAT: EVEN IF SHE CAN TURN INTO A DANGEROUS MURDERED AT ANY GIVEN TIME.